by Skyla Madi
Every time we go out, she seems to be there, as they have many mutual friends. She gets too friendly, and I hate it. We’ve been together about eight months, and I know I should feel secure in our relationship. I love him, but how do I compete with his ex when I know he still has feelings for her? You can see it whenever she’s around. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but I get nowhere. Help me Harlow. I’m going crazy here.
Sincerely,
~Troubled Girlfriend~
*
Dear Troubled Girlfriend:
The answer to your question is you don’t. There should be no contest. Although I can empathize with feeling like you need to compete. The ex is his past, and you’re his present. Sounds to me like you need to let your boyfriend know your concerns again until he listens. Both about his feelings for the ex-girlfriend and about the disrespect you’re given when she gets too friendly. If he has any respect for you and your relationship, he should put a stop to it. I’m sure if the tables were turned, he wouldn’t be happy with this situation, either. I wish you the best of luck, and if all else fails, you may need to dump him.
My heart goes out to you,
Harlow
***
Harlow
There was nothing like the classics. Richard Gere was currently on TV, picking up a very sexy-looking Julia Roberts in a fancy sports car. Say hello to the hooker meeting the gorgeous rich guy in this old school forbidden love story called Pretty Woman. Harlow sighed; if only it was as simple as in the movies. At least then, you were guaranteed a happily ever after, and she wanted one of those for herself.
She picked up a handful of chocolate M&M’s and passed the popcorn bowl to Mel. A few days had passed since Toby had vowed to woo her, and she hadn’t heard from him since. It was depressing, yet she did ask for time. Words were one thing, actions were quite another, and she had to guard her heart better. Had to know for certain that Toby was ready to move on. Thankfully, she was currently in good company to distract herself from this funk she’d been struggling with.
Girl’s night, yeah!
“Damn, that Richard Gere is hot, for an older dude.” Dee wiggled her eyebrows suggestively as she poured them each a glass of margaritas from a big pitcher. After she finished passing them out, she set the jug on the coffee table and sat down with flourish. “This night has been long overdue. It’s nice to unwind with my peeps.”
“Agreed,” Harlow said. She dropped a bunch of the little round, candied chocolates in her mouth and chewed. “Thanks for being here, you guys. I really don’t know what I’d do without you. I know I’ve been a recluse in the last week, and I appreciate your patience with me.”
“Well, we love you.” Calista held her glass up. “Let’s toast to the good things in our lives. Here’s to great friends, booze, a bunch of junk food, and the fantasy men we admire in these chick flicks. May we one day find our own true loves, and may they cherish us like the goddesses we know we are.”
“Couldn’t have said it better myself. Although I might add a salute to the good men out there who learn from their mistakes. Everyone deserves a second chance.” Mel clinked her glass against Harlow’s as Dee and Calista did the same.
Dee snorted before she took a sip. “Very subtle, Mel.”
“I’m sorry, okay.” Melody looked at Harlow with wide eyes. “I know he’s a dipshit once in a while, but I’m rooting for the two of you. You’re good for each other, and if it’s any consolation, he’s been just as miserable without you.”
Harlow took another sip from her glass and sighed. “I’m rooting for us as well. I love him, but this experience made me realize I need to tread carefully. I need to know one hundred percent that he’s moved on before we can be together again. I’m sure Carley was a very lovely person. I’ve only heard great things about her, but I can’t continue to compete with her memory. I deserve better than that.”
“Nobody can fault you for feeling that way,” Dee said. “Carley was good people, and it’s tragic what happened to her. I also know she’d want Toby to be happy, and you’re it. It’s like comparing apples and oranges. They’re both different but equally tasty.”
“It’s good to know I’m tasty.” Harlow shrugged, and they all had a giggle. She put down her drink when her phone started to vibrate. It was in her pocket, and she took it out. “Speak of the Devil. Toby just texted me.” Her heart beat quicker, and she got that excited feeling in the pit of her belly when she opened it. It was butterflies.
“What does it say?” Calista asked. Each woman seemed to sit up straighter as if eagerly waiting for her to reply.
She clicked on the text and read it out loud. “It says: I meant every word I said the other night. My step one to win you back was the sunflower tattoo. It was made special knowing that you were the one to draw it for me. Proof that you can draw with the right teacher beside you, and now that memory will live on always. My step two was the kiss I gave you the moment we locked eyes again after I’d been such an idiot. I was just so relieved you were okay. I poured all my feelings into that lip lock and kissing you was as easy as breathing. I long to do that again sometime soon. Now, this is my step three. Please click on the link. I’ll do whatever it takes, as long as it takes me, to make you believe. All my love, Toby.”
“Wow!” Calista clutched her chest, while Mel and Dee gave each other a high five. “What’s the link for?”
“Yeah, click on it already. We want to see it too.” Melody looked excited for her, and Harlow chuckled.
“Whatever it is, it’s on YouTube.” The girls leaned over her shoulder to peek, while Harlow rubbed her hands together and clicked away with bated breath. Ash Harris’s face filled the screen, and she squealed. She was a huge fan of Love the Sinner, and to have the lead singer addressing you on the internet was a dream come true. What was Toby up to, and why was it his cousin’s face she was looking at and not his?
Calista shushed her.
Mel rolled her eyes. “Ash gets this reaction all of the time. It’s all good, girlfriend.”
But Harlow ignored them, entranced inside her own little world that included this intriguing video Toby wanted to share with her. She turned up the volume.
“Hello, Harlow Ross. I hear you’re a huge fan, and I can’t tell you how humbled I am to know it. I could tell from the moment Toby mentioned you, you were somebody worth knowing. It takes a special woman to knock my cousin to his knees, and I know that must not have been an easy task. You both seem to have a lot in common, from what I hear, and a unique understanding of each other. He tells me you make him want to be a better man. And, let me tell you, Toby is one of the good ones. It’s why I was excited to help him pull this off. I hope you’re listening closely before I pass you back to him because Toby loves you from the bottom of his heart. Take it from me.” Ash finished with a wink. “I’m currently still on tour, but as soon as we can manage it, the band and I would love to meet you. Until then, I present to you, Toby James, everyone.”
The camera moved away from Ash and onto Toby’s lone figure. He was sitting on a stool with a guitar in hand, and Harlow felt like she melted on the spot at the sight of him.
“Hey, Harlow. I know you’re a huge fan of the band, and I thought it might mean something special to hear Ash speak as if he knows you already. I also figured it might help this post reach more people if Love the Sinner’s prodigy was on it. His fan base has a far better outreach than mine does. Local tattooist with an old show.” Toby pointed at himself. “And the rock star. I love you, baby, so much, and I’d like the whole world to know it. Hence the video, my step number three, but there’s more…” Toby’s face lit up with hope as he gave her his signature smirk, and her heart soared with happiness. “Ash and I also co-wrote this song for you that I’m about to sing for the very first time. You ready to hear it?” The moment Toby started playing the guitar, she wasn’t the only one in tears. The whole apartment was. Calista, Mel, and Dee joined her. While she suspected theirs were tears of env
y, hers were of complete joy. She hadn’t remembered ever being so jubilant before. It was incredible, and she absorbed every word he sang. If this wasn’t proof enough that he loved her, then nothing would be.
Drifted alone as an empty shell
My scars burned while I was in hell
Took women to bed
I was distracted with dread
A shallow escape to quell the pain
Loves were lost and a new one was gained
I was absent and alone but no more
You showed me I deserve to feel more
I’m ready to say goodbye to the past
You’re going to be my second chance
My lady to love forever and more
So here I am reaching out to you
You’re holding my heart
It’s yours to store
You showed me I deserve to feel more
Continuing to run would be insane
I want to be with you to dance in the rain
To hold your hand, to cherish, and kiss you
When you’re not around I ache, and I miss you
It breaks me to see you cry
I’d rather see us both fly
When I look in your eyes
And my arms go around you
I know I’m in bliss
And thank God that I’ve found you
So, baby hear my plea
You’re it for me
You give me the will and strength to continue
I’ve found my forever
to infinity and a day
My love will never go away
Like a sunflower on a beautiful day
Together we shine bright
please don’t push me away
With visions of our future where we’re holding hands
I’ll show you I’m strong enough to be your man
I’m ready to say goodbye to the past
You’re going to be my second chance
My lady to love forever and more
I’ll do what it takes to show you I’m yours
Baby hear me plea
You’re it for me
When you’re by my side
There isn’t a need to hide
I’m ready to be the man you need
Girl, you showed me I deserve to feel more
The past is lost, and the future is what I’m looking for
You showed me I deserve to feel more
That I deserve to feel more
I love you
“Oh my God!” Calista fanned her face. “That was amazing.”
“Harlow,” Mel gasped. “I’ve never seen Toby like that before. It’s like the words bled right out of him. They were so heartfelt and personal.”
“That right there is your proof.” Dee enthusiastically pointed at Harlow’s phone. “He’s finally ready to move on.”
“I have to see him.” Harlow jumped up from the couch and cradled the phone to her chest. “I’ve got to go.” She raced around the apartment to grab her jacket, keys, and shoes. She threw open the door and paused. “Stay as long as you like. Callie has her key to lock up, and I’ll keep you posted. If all goes well, I won’t be texting until sometime tomorrow.” She winked as her entourage whistled and clapped with excitement.
“Go get him, girl.”
Harlow rushed down the stairs, taking them two at a time, and nearly tripped over her own two feet in her haste to get to the car. She started the ignition and prayed that he was home.
Chapter Thirty-One
Toby
Toby began pacing his apartment the minute he’d sent the text, and a million and one questions bombarded his thoughts.
Was she watching it?
Did she like it?
Did she finally believe him?
Would she take him back?
And if she didn’t, what could he possibly do to top that?
He’d shout out his love from the rooftops if that’s what Harlow needed from him. Contacting Ash to ask for some help seemed to be a good idea at the time. This video would hopefully tell the world. It hadn’t been online for very long, and the viewings already surpassed six figures. It was crazy. He shook his head and picked up his sketch pad. Ten minutes later, and he was still looking at the blank page. He gave up, tossed the pad on the coffee table, and sat forward with a sigh. The suspense was killing him.
Come on, baby. Call me. Tell me you watched it and loved it.
His phone made a noise, signalling a notification, and he lunged for it on the cushion beside him.
Mel: If you’re not home, you might want to get there pronto. Your girl saw the video, and she’s on her way. Good job, Tob. Harlow couldn’t get out of here fast enough. I’m so glad you’ve finally found your happy. Proud of you too.
After reading it, Toby smirked and gave himself a mental high five. He looked around the apartment and quickly straightened up. He gathered his dinner dishes and dropped them in the sink. He quickly wiped the counters and threw the rag back on the counter when he finished. It’d have to do. Toby looked around, satisfied now that the place looked decent enough. But what about him? He turned to sniff his pits and sighed with relief. He smelled decent but now felt anxious. This was it.
Within a couple of minutes, there was an insistent pounding on the door, and he knew it was her. His heart raced, and he eagerly opened it. No words were exchanged. The moment they locked eyes, she pounced, and it caught him off guard. She jumped up, threw her arms around his shoulders, and wrapped her legs around his hips. Toby fell backward, taking the brunt of the fall, while she peppered kisses all over his face. It shocked him.
“I’m so sorry. Please tell me you’re not hurt.” Harlow scrambled to get up and held out her hand to help him do the same. The moment he stood, his arms went around her again. She was magnetic, and he couldn’t stop touching her if he tried. Didn’t want to.
Harlow’s gaze ran from his feet to the top of his head, checking him out. Her hands rested against his heart, and he couldn’t help but smile. She was right where he wanted her to be. “I’m fine, Harlow, promise. In fact, I’m now more than fine.” He bent down to rest his forehead against hers and whispered, “It’s so good to see you again.”
Her whole face lit up at his words, and he cherished the moment. “It’s good to see you too. Toby, I feel like it’s my turn to apologize. When you walked out on me, I was shattered.”
“Har—”
Harlow held up her hand and took a step back, leaving Toby no choice but to drop both of his arms to his sides. He fisted his hands to keep from reaching out. “Please let me finish,” she said. “You have to understand, when I first met you, I could feel this pull. I was attracted to you, of course, but there was more to it. You’re so talented and hard-working; you’re successful and likeable, the whole package, but you were also damaged and hurting. It’s a trait I can understand well because I am too, in my own way. You got me, though, and still do. It’s like we’re two imperfect puzzle pieces but put us together and we fit. I just couldn’t help but love you, but in the back of my mind, there was always this insecurity. You never promised me anything permanent, but I wanted it badly.” She shrugged. “When you found the letter and walked out, I thought I’d never be able to compete with Carley. She was the love of your life, a-and I’m just me. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I decided to protect my heart. The other night when you tried to tell me how you felt…God, Toby, I’m so sorry.” She rushed forward and began to kiss him all over his face again. It was adorable. “I.” Kiss. “Love.” Kiss. “You, so much.” Kiss. “And I know you love me. That video was the sweetest, sincerest, most incredible thing anyone has ever done for me.” Kiss. Kiss.
Toby gulped and gave her a nod. He needed a minute to compose himself. He hugged her tightly and smiled. “Finally. I honestly didn’t know how I was going to top the song. When we met, I think my problem was that I could see our dark, and I let mine consume me. Been living with mine for too long. The difference was
yours had holes all over it, letting the light shine through, and I was drawn to you. I know you’re still grieving your daughter, but you don’t let it eat at you like I did when I lost Carley. Despite it, you help people every day. I’d wish for anything to get you your daughter back and keep that hurt away, and I’m so sorry I don’t have that ability. One thing I can give you is me, though. I swear to you from this day forward, if you give me that chance, I’ll make it my mission to love, protect, and cherish you for as long as you’ll let me.”
“Toby…” Harlow looked up with tears in her eyes.
“It’s my turn to finish.” He pressed a finger to her lips. “When I lost Carley, it took a part of me. Not going to lie to you. I wanted an eternity, and it was ripped away the first time. So when you came along, and I saw Mel’s letter, I used that shit as an excuse to push you away. Why? Because from the moment I saw you in my lobby at Misfit, I could see you were special. You made me feel things I didn’t want to. Suddenly, my dark began to crack, and I had light in my life again. I wasn’t drowning in grief because I had you with me. It freaked me out some. I fucked up, Harlow, and I’m not perfect, so I’m going to probably screw up again at some point. However, I do know without a doubt that if you give me that second chance, I’ll make sure you know there isn’t anything or anybody to compete with from this day forward. I love you that much.”
“I believe you.” Harlow nodded her head and grinned. “Now that we’ve both said our piece, can we please get to the love making?”
“Missed you,” he said. Toby kissed her to show her how much. Speaking his feelings wasn’t something he excelled at, except with Harlow. Showing her them like she requested, however, was in a more comfortable territory. He’d gladly oblige.
