by Skyla Madi
The sun completely disappears, and the moonlight covers the sand around us. I let him nuzzle my body back into his because I need the comfort. His heart beats so fast that it pounds against my ear; I feel it reaching out of his chest.
“How many tattoos do you have?” I sleepily ask, and I feel him smile into my hair.
“A few. Would you like to see them?”
I yawn again and can’t find the strength to move my head from his chest. “Are they in a decent place?”
“Most of them.” He laughs, and I move with his chest like a wave in the ocean. “Would you rather see the ones that aren’t first?”
I groan into his blue sweater. “You can’t see it, but I’m rolling my eyes right now.”
“Look,” he says, rolling up the left sleeve of his sweater. “They’re tasteful, I promise.”
I lift my head and look at the skin on his arm. Several different designs cover his flesh on top of the hardness of the muscle he’s purposely flexing. The one that catches my eye is a large tree on his forearm—broken and barren.
“What’s this about?” I run my fingers over the ink, and I feel his body shake from my touch.
“You really wanna know?” His eyes fill with sadness as he looks from me to the tree. I nod and lean some of my weight back into him to calm him. His other arm slides around me and I hear him blow out a sigh. “It’s a tree that sits on my property. It’s dead now, but someone once made me promise never to have it cut down.” I yawn and snuggle into his hands; it’s hard to keep my eyes open and listen. “The tree got termites and I couldn’t save it, so I got this so she would always have that tree in some way because she loved it, and I loved her.” He’s talking about a woman, someone he seems to still love deeply. “These tattoos that I have, they’re like…pieces of me.” He frowns, and I want to reach out to touch his face to erase his internal sense of destruction.
“Caitlyn did say you’re the mysterious Redding boy.”
“She doesn’t know the first thing about me.”
The snap of his voice tells me I’ve said the wrong thing.
“Why don’t you like talking about her?”
His tongue grazes over his bottom lip. “I’d rather talk about you.”
He puts his body next to mine and pulls me onto his chest, his heartbeat racing faster this time. I allow myself to lie with him as long as nothing gets out of hand, but the waves call me to sleep before I can worry about anything else in the small part of the world we live in.
Falling asleep on a beach with a man I hardly know.
That’s the Olivia I’ve grown to be.
Regardless of who I think I used to be.
Chapter Six
The tree
What’s that amazing smell?
Chocolate. Maple. Bacon. Coffee.
My teeth sink into the inner meat of my cheek. There’s nothing more I love about the man downstairs making Christmas breakfast than the way he does things like this for me. I honestly don’t know how I got so lucky; fate has always been on our side, I guess.
The tantalizing ribbons of explosive flavors fill the bedroom. He’s lit the fireplace too; the room is toasty and invites me back to sleep before the snaps of bacon wake me back up.
Jake knows this is my favorite day of the year.
I smile into the comforter, keeping my love for him to myself. He gets me, inside and out—he just gets me. Anyone else would’ve frowned at the number of gifts I’ve stuffed under the Christmas tree—but not Jake. He ran out at the last minute, drove twenty miles, just to make sure I had enough wrapping paper for everything that littered the living room floor.
His heavy footsteps trudge up the stairs. I close my eyes quickly and let the rich smell of freshly brewed coffee excite me. His weight moves the mattress as he sits down at my thighs, rubbing his hand up the curve of my ass.
“Merry Christmas, baby,” he whispers.
“Merry Christmas to you, boyfriend.”
Stretching, I wrap my fingers around the fabric of his t-shirt and pull him down to meet my lips. He tastes like cinnamon, and it’s the best kiss I’ve ever had. Jake smiles against my lips and slides his arm underneath me, pulling me from the comforter and onto his lap facing him.
“Just like I like you, awake and straddling me.”
“Is that so?”
A growl rumbles in his throat. “And screaming my name.”
My skin is on fire. His fingers grip the flesh of my ass with one hand; the other hand brushes hair from my collarbone before pressing his hot lips against me. In seconds, he’s ripped off his t-shirt and returned his lips to my flesh; he trails them up the side of my neck and stops behind my ear.
“Run away with me.”
His fingers behind me are only inches from pushing the fabric of my panties aside. His hot lips part mine, and his tongue runs along the top of mine.
“And go where?”
“I don’t care, let’s just fucking go.”
His hands run up my back; he pulls the tank top over my head and throws it on the floor next to the bed. My bare C-cups bounce with their newfound freedom; his reddened lips find the soft flesh in between them, suctioning the skin into them. The way Jake handles me—the real way he handles me—keeps me needing the release.
“Baby, I'll go anywhere you want. Let’s just go and never come back.”
My fingers grip his copper blonde hair, tugging it back as he moans. His fingers move closer to the edge of my panties.
“We've talked about this. You'd miss it here.”
“I can learn to live with it.”
“This is our home; I don’t want to leave. We belong here…together.”
The instant I press my lips against the stubble of his neck, his body shivers. His fingers push the fabric aside and press into the wetness that’s been waiting for him. He moves his fingers around in circles against the swollen peak of my clitoris.
Jake is motivated by sound and touch; the deeper my moans become, the faster his fingers work. His teeth gently close around my left nipple when it becomes easier to access after I tip my head back and explode all over his hand.
The silk of his boxers rubs against my wrist as my arm snakes behind me and opens the front flap. The familiar warm flesh that greets me is hard to wrap my fingers around the entire way I pull it from its cage. I have to lean sideways to grab a condom from the bedside table, and the sight of the silver package excites him even more. Jake’s breathing quickens every second that ticks by and I’ve got a hold on him; when he can’t take much more, he grips my sides to lift me up.
“I love you more than anything I’ve ever loved before.” His chestnut eyes burn into mine. “I’ll never love anyone like I love you.”
My thighs prepare themselves as he wraps his arms around me, pounding his hard flesh in between my legs. Wrapping my legs around him for stability, our moans intertwine and we become one. He grips the roundness of my ass and bucks me up and down until my eyes roll to the back of my head. My toes start to curl as he swiftly turns me around and releases me onto the bed.
Leaning my body back up, I kiss his flat stomach and trail my lips up and down his v-shape. Each time my lips meet his flesh, he shivers and lets out a small moan.
“You make my fucking head explode.”
The giggle I let escape my lips sets him off. Jake pushes me on my back and spreads my legs as far as he can before pushing his hard dick back where it belongs. The sweat that drips from his body sizzles against my hot skin; it takes a few minutes for everything to come back into view and my heart to slow down to a normal pace again.
Collapsing next to me, Jake kisses my bare shoulder and laughs. “You’ve won again. We’re staying here.”
“I’ll always win. You love me too much to let me loose.”
Nuzzling against my neck, he smiles. “You’re right about that.”
Snow blows against the bay window. He hesitates to let me leave the bed; I wrap a blanket around my body and crawl
into the window seat. “It’s snowing. My tree won’t survive the winter.”
My favorite maple tree—that once stood proud, vibrant, and tall in the backyard—was one of the main reasons I asked Jake to buy this house. I would imagine children playing around it, chasing each other and laughing until they gasp for air.
Now…it sits broken and barren.
Jake comes to me, sliding his body next to mine. “I know you love that tree.”
“Are you sure it can’t be saved?”
The bigleaf maple’s naked branches weep to be saved.
“I’m sure, baby. I’ve asked six professionals who all say the same thing.”
Accepting his answer for the ninth time he’s told me, I let a tear fall down my cheek. “I know you think it’s silly…you think it’s just a tree.”
Jake smiles wide as he brings his thumb to my cheek and wipes away the hot tears. Letting me melt into him, his arms wrap around me for comfort.
“I know what it means to you.”
“Promise me you’ll never have it cut down.”
Jake kisses my head and wraps his legs around mine.
“I promise.”
Chapter Seven
Run
My eyes flick open, and the waves softly crash in front of my body.
What the hell was that?
Clearly, the dream I had was some sort of adaptation of my version of what sleeping with Jake would be like. I’m sore from the way I slept and the cold morning air is nipping my skin where the blanket isn’t covering me. I close my eyes because I’m still tired; I don’t want to wake up yet and face whatever’s going to come after this. Especially having a dream that isn’t mine—it can’t be mine. There is no way I could remember Jake’s tattoo, let alone some tree in some random backyard. The dream I had must have been because it was the last thing he said to me before I fell asleep.
It has to be.
My left arm swings around my body, searching for more blanket, but all I find is another equally as cold being behind me. His arms tangle around me and he softly breathes in the scent of my hair from behind. I open one eye, trying not to move and wake Jake up, noticing that it’s now daylight. Birds chirp around us cheerfully—mocking me as I twist my face in horror at the thought of what I’ve done to myself. I focus on the extreme need to untangle myself from his tight embrace and run.
Run. Run. Run.
This isn’t me; I don’t fall asleep on random beaches with random guys. I scoff and mock them from afar while I sit in the corner and try to figure myself out. I don’t need this drama, but here I am—putting myself right in the middle of something I shouldn’t be in.
“Good morning, Bug,” Jake says into my mess of brown hair, burying his nose deeper into it. “It’s freezing out here. Are you cold?”
I pretend to still be asleep because I don’t know what else to do. I feel him slowly brush my hair from my face and his eyes burn into my skin, making sure I’m not awake. He picks my body up from the blanket we lie on, carrying me gently to the car and putting me in the back seat. I wait a few minutes for him to get into the car and drive away, careful on the turns so he doesn’t wake me.
Do I let him know I’m awake?
What’s he going to do when he gets me home?
His phone rings, and I don’t open my eyes to interrupt a chance to eavesdrop on his call. “Yes?” His voice is tired and quiet; it takes a lot of concentration to hear what he’s saying.
“Yeah, I’ll be there soon.”
“I know what time it is.”
“I said I would be there soon.”
“I have to do something first, but it won’t take long.”
“I’m at the beach. Can you meet me at my hotel?”
“I know how far it is from Seattle.”
“Yes, I’m with her.”
“You can’t possibly understand.”
“Okay, I’ll see you soon.”
“Yeah, you too.”
He clicks the phone off, and his gaze lights my skin on fire again; I feel him looking at me through the rearview mirror, but I can’t bring myself to open my eyes. It isn’t until the car comes to a stop, and he opens the back door before he hovers over me, picking me up again.
Is he going to dump me on my doorstep?
My eyes snap open immediately. “Put me down.” He nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears my voice. He doesn’t do what I ask, so I wiggle my body to make him lose his grip and let me fall to the ground with a loud thud on the pavement. I make a soft grunt and rub the hip bone that’s broken my fall.
Anything is better than being left on a doorstep.
Thrown out like trash.
“What the hell?” Jake growls. I wiggle free from his grasp again, nearly smashing my face against the brick walkway leading to the front doorstep that he stands on. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Jake’s fingers shake a little and run through his hair as his eyes examine my body to make sure I’m not hurt.
I’m hurt, but not physically.
“I have to get inside.” My shrill voice makes the air colder around us. “Thanks for bringing me home and thanks for dinner.” I know he’s confused; there isn’t anything I can do about that right now. I don’t know who he was talking to on the phone, but it sure doesn’t sound like he’s single enough to be falling asleep with me on a beach.
“Olivia, talk to me.” His voice isn’t enough to make me turn around. I told him I’m not scared of him and I meant it; although, I might be afraid I’ll fall into his bad boy, covered in tattoos, sexy grin and cinnamon and whiskey trap, only to be left in the cold alone.
Not today, Jake Redding.
The mysterious Redding boy.
He grabs my arm and turns me around to face him, anger and hurt in his glassy brown eyes. “Help me out here. What’s going on?” His full lips quiver; it’s hard to tell if he’s just angry because I’m denying him what he wants or if he’s scared he’ll lose me when I walk through that front door.
He never had you, Olivia, remember that.
“I have to go, Jake, so thanks for dinner and the whole,” my hands find the space between us; I separate the thick air that sticks between our chests, parting it like dark smoke, “listening thing.”
“Don’t run from me.”
I turn my body around, quick and annoyed. It’s a little amusing—since he towers over me—but I stand my ground and clench my jaw the same way he does. “I’m not running. I’m saying goodbye. Have a good day.” I blink a few times, watching his face redden and the fire in his eyes burn brighter. “I need you to just get into your car and go home, Jake.”
“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what the hell happened between last night and now. How did we get to this?” His voice is layered with agitation and fear. Quickly, my head spins with bits and pieces of Jake flushing through my mind. I’m seconds away from telling Jake about my dream when I see the living room curtains open and then close again even faster. My dad opens the front door and steps outside, noticing the verbal attack stances we have.
“Everything okay out here, Liv?”
“It’s fine. I’ll be in soon.” I know that even when he goes back inside, he’s still watching us. Jake rubs his chin and lets out a long gust of air, and the sadness creeps back into his eyes. “Help me understand what’s going on here. Please.”
“I was awake for your phone call in the car. I’m not interested in being the other woman.” My teeth grind together, sending a pain up my jaw that makes my vision a little blurry. “I warned you, Jake. I told you I’m a damn mess. I’m not looking for anything but the memories I’m missing, and you charmed your way in there. I knew this would happen.”
He hovers over me. “You knew what would happen?”
For the first time in months, my head starts to pound with searing pain behind my eyeballs like so many times before. The stress I’m putting myself through is bringing the headaches back again—with a vengeance.
“This.”
I smack his chest lightly. It pushes him back a few steps for some safe distance. “I have a hard time trusting people. I’m not intentionally pretending to be someone I’m not, but it’s really confusing when someone comes into my life and keeps more secrets from you.”
Jake keeps his sadness tucked into his heart, but he lets just enough of it seep toward me to make me feel even worse. “That was my mother on the phone.” His voice is fragile; I’ve succeeded in hurting his feelings. “I’m late for a meeting with her and our family lawyer. That’s why she’s so upset.”
I’m going to vomit.
“Please…don’t run from me,” he whispers into the breeze. The air catches my ears, tickling them as his words slide down into my chest. “I don’t know what else to say other than, just…don’t run from me.”
“I’m not running from you. I need to focus on myself.”
He’s only inches from me now, pulling me into him. Jake buries himself in my hair and squeezes my body tight.
Cinnamon.
“You have to say the words.” My throat closes, and I can’t breathe. “Say it, Olivia.”
This is so weirdly soothing that it freaks me out. Part of me wants to wrap my arms around his neck and take him inside to heal his invisible wounds, but the other part of me—the sane part—knows that’s beyond normal and not a healthy thought to even entertain.
I need to find out the truth about my accident.
I can’t have distractions.
“I want you to go, Jake.” I say the words and watch his face crumple with a thousand deaths. “This isn’t a goodbye. I just want some rest, okay?” I sigh, upset with myself that I have singlehandedly messed up someone’s day. “I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Okay.” He kisses my cheek and walks back to the car, slowly pulling back onto the road. I wave at him before closing the front door behind me and blowing out all of the air I’ve been holding in.
