by Skyla Madi
The things that had happened to me during that time would never be forgotten. I would never be able to forget the face of that man. After a few hours of being awake, the doctor had come in to speak to me. He explained that he had placed me in a coma to heal. According to him, my body and my mind were in a bad place. I was shot twice the night they came to rescue me. With internal bleeding and low blood pressure, I was rushed to the hospital.
They managed to stabilize me. I’d been kept in the room with no TV or radio. Nobody was allowed to give me any newspapers to read. The nurse that looked after me also refused to answer any questions that involved my family. Whenever I asked Patrick about them, he told me they were fine. I was getting sick of it. I wanted to see my mom and sisters. Hell, I even wanted to see Michael.
What the hell were they hiding from me?
***
I glared at Patrick. He sat across from me on the edge of the bed. Patrick smirked at me as he lowered his cards.
“Don’t be a sore loser, sweetheart,” he said.
I narrowed my eyes at him as I dropped my cards onto the bed. He laughed as he collected them. We’d been playing different card games for the past hour. The nurse had come in before disappearing again. I was given some pain medicine and something else that made me feel slightly woozy. I glanced up when I heard the knock on the door. Seconds later, it opened. If I could get off the bed, I would’ve ran to him. It felt great seeing another familiar face.
“Can you give us some privacy?”
“Everything you have to say to her or she has to say to you is my business,” Patrick said softly.
They stared at each other silently for a few minutes. Michael finally nodded. He softly closed the door behind him before walking further into the room.
“I spoke to the doctor. He said you’re doing good.”
“They keep saying that, but no one tells me what’s going on. They won’t even get me a TV or radio.”
“They have their orders,” he muttered.
Michael took a seat on the chair next to the bed. He held a thick brown file in one hand. “How are you doing?”
I shrugged. “I’m fine apart from not getting any answers.”
“I know you don’t really want to talk about what happened, but I need—”
“You need nothing,” Patrick cut him off. “She’s been through hell, and you want to drag her through it again.”
“I don’t want to.” He glanced at me. “I have a job to do. The sooner we can get this over with, the better.”
“Hit me with it.” I sucked in a deep breath and slowly blew it out.
“I need you to tell me exactly what happened the day you were kidnapped.” My eyes dropped to my lap. I felt sick as the memories played through my mind. I knew I had to tell him what happened. Patrick took hold of my hand and gave it a squeeze.
“I was at the supermarket getting some things. When I walked out, I saw the van and called Stephen.”
“Why?”
I licked my lips. “When we went to the beach, there was an incident.”
“What sort of incident?” Patrick questioned.
Too late I realized that I had to tell them everything to make sense of what I had said. I squeezed Patrick’s hand tighter. “Remember that day I went to the party?”
“You came home crying and spent most of the weekend locked up in your bedroom,” Michael said softly.
“Kate and I were talking, and someone overhead us. They announced the fact that I was still a virgin to everyone.” I glanced up at him. “I hated going to school after that night. They called me names and teased me. I got fed up, so I did something stupid.”
Neither man said anything. They waited for me to continue. With tear-filled eyes, I did. “I placed an ad online that I wanted to sell my virginity.”
“How the hell could you have been so fucking stupid?” Patrick exploded.
I glanced up at them. I hated to see the disappointment in their eyes.
“Go on,” Michael ordered softly.
“I used a fake picture, but I told my real age, name, and where I lived. I got two replies. One was from a stranger and the other from Stephen. He told me to meet him and I did. That was how I met him.”
“Son of a bitch!”
I ignored Patrick and continued to tell them the rest. “On our last day at the beach, we decided to go watch a movie. We split up. Kate said something that made me mad, so I took off.”
I squeezed my eyes shut for a few seconds before opening them. My eyes moved to Michael. “I walked into a man. He tried to drag me toward a van, but I started fighting. He called me by my name. After that he injected me with something. I was paralyzed. He would’ve succeeded in kidnapping me if someone didn’t call out. He promised he would find me again.”
“Would you recognize him if I showed you photos?”
I nodded. It wouldn’t be hard to recognize him. He’d been my tormentor since he kidnapped me again.
“You called Stephen?”
“Yes. I told him about the van, and he asked for the license plate number. After I hung up, I walked to my car and he was there again. I was injected again. When I spun around, Kate stood there with the injection. I passed out. I woke up in a container with other girls. I remember Anne and Mary.”
“Can you describe them?”
I gave him a description of all the girls I could remember. He wrote down every single detail before asking a few more questions. I kept the details to a minimum. They didn’t need to know all the details of the abuse I had suffered. Patrick had stormed out of the room when I briefly mentioned the raping. I could tell that Michael wanted to walk away too, but he had a job to do. When I finished, we sat in silence.
“Why won’t anyone tell me anything?” I questioned.
Michael sighed. He closed the file and placed it aside. His eyes caught mine. “Do you know for how long you were gone?”
I frowned. “I was kept in a dark room most of the time. The only time I was allowed out was when he wanted me. I wasn’t aware of day or night. Time was lost on me.”
He surprised me when he reached out and gripped my hand. “You were gone for two years, Alia.”
I was shocked into silence. Two years. My heartbeat increased. I tried to blink away the tears, but they fell anyway. Michael stood and took a seat on the edge of the bed. He wrapped his arms around me. I clung to him as I allowed a sob to escape. I’d missed two years of my life thanks to that bastard.
“I want to see Mom,” I whispered.
He sighed. Michael pulled away. He cupped my cheeks and wiped the tears with his thumbs. I couldn’t understand the sadness I saw in his eyes.
“Alia, your mother…” He swallowed. “Your mother is gone. She died a few months after you got kidnapped. I’m sorry, honey.”
Chapter Forty-Four
I still couldn’t get over the fact that I stayed with that man for two years. I missed my graduation, the birth of my sister’s child, the death of my mother, and a whole bunch of other things. I was living in hell while everyone else went on with their lives. I didn’t even have time to completely mend things with my mother before her death. I wasn’t there for my sisters when they needed me. I didn’t know how to feel about it. After two more weeks in the hospital, I was discharged.
They gave me a list of specific foods I needed to eat and avoid. I was also forced to go see a therapist. Michael had insisted on it. I had to sit in an office with a stranger for an hour while she asked me questions. Answering them was harder than I wanted to admit. I was free from him, and I didn’t want to think or talk about the nightmares I had lived.
Going home was even harder. It didn’t hold the same love it usually did. It felt cold and empty. The moment I stepped through the door, I burst into tears. It took me an hour to finally calm enough. Emma hadn’t come near me at all. All I got from her was a small smile before she walked off. Sam was no different. I was a stranger to her. Michael tried everything to make me feel w
elcome.
There were times when it all just got too much. I got so angry and agitated that I exploded. I threw stuff at him and screamed until the tears fell. Not once since I was released did Stephen come to visit me. He didn’t call either. A part of me missed him, but the other part was glad he was gone. I was free, and I had my life back. I had changed, and so had everything else. I was never going to be the same girl I was before.
***
“Have you decided about taking the online classes?” I glanced up at Michael as he entered the kitchen.
We’d come to mutual agreement after I returned home. I had forgiven him for what he did. Even though we weren’t blood related, he was still my father in every other sense.
“Not yet,” I said softly.
“It’s better than nothing.” He grabbed a soda then made his way over to me. “You said yourself that you’re not ready to face people.”
“I’ve lived in isolation for two years. It’s hard enough driving to the shrink.”
“Your appointment is in half an hour. Do you want me to drive you?”
I considered it but shook my head. I wasn’t planning on going to the appointment today. I’d had enough of that woman for the week. He stood there awkwardly for a few minutes before making an excuse and walking away. When I was sure he had disappeared into his bedroom, I stood and gathered my bag.
I drove the familiar road, but instead of taking the road to town, I turned and headed in the opposite direction. The cliff was isolated. I felt the panic rising as I stepped out of my car. I enjoyed being alone at home, not so much out in the open. My mind was playing tricks on me. I was expecting someone to jump out, but it didn’t happen. Taking deep, steady breaths, I stepped forward. I hesitated only for a second before sitting down. Dirt dug into my hands, but I shook it off.
A sigh fell from my lips as I stared at the city below. My peace only lasted for a few minutes. I stood when I heard the car approaching. A familiar green truck parked behind my car. I blinked rapidly as I watch Stephen climb out. Our eyes locked, but he dropped his first. There was awkwardness between us that was never there before.
“Hi,” he said softly.
“H-hi.”
“I stopped by the house, but Michael said you left. So I drove all the way into town, but you weren’t there either. I figured you’d be here then.”
“Why now, Stephen?” I whispered.
I knew he would understand what I asked him.
He seemed to hesitate before looking at me. “I came to say goodbye.”
I stumbled back a step. He was leaving.
“I’ve been relocated to New York,” he said softly. “I can’t stay here anymore, Alia.”
“Because of me?” I asked. “Because you can’t bear to look at me now that I’m covered in scars? Or did you find someone else to fuck when I wasn’t here?”
“It’s not like that, Alia.”
“Then what’s it like, Stephen?” I took a step closer. “You were there when I was rescued. You never came to see me in the hospital. Not even when I returned home. Now suddenly you come here only to tell me that you’re leaving.”
“It’s for the best.” He turned, walking back to his truck.
“The best for whom?” I yelled. “After everything that has happened between us, you’re walking away from me now? Why didn’t you end it after I lost our baby? Or when your father tried to kidnap me the first time?”
“I thought I could keep you safe!” he yelled, spinning around. “I thought I could outsmart him, but I couldn’t. There will never be a future for us, Alia, because every time I look at you, I remember why I should’ve just walked away. I couldn’t save you then, and I can’t now. My father ruined you. He killed the Alia I knew.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. His figure became blurry as I stared at him.
“If I had ended this sooner, if I had walked away from you the first time you told me you loved me, none of this would have happened.” He sucked in a breath as he took a step closer. “You wouldn’t have suffered at the hands of a sick bastard like I suffered at the hands of his wife. He was a sick fuck, and I wished I had killed him all those years ago. I had the chance, but I walked away because I couldn’t. Nathan and Carley needed a father. They needed a family.”
He suddenly fell silent. Stephen ran a hand over his face. His shoulders sagged as he stared at the ground.
“I ruined your life. You have a second chance, and I’m not going to fuck that up,” he said softly.
Stephen walked closer until he stood a few inches in front of me. He slowly reached out to cup my cheek. Shaky fingers traced the faint white line over my cheekbone. “I fucking love you too much to see you suffer because of me. The guilt and the pain I feel for everything you suffered will never go away. You don’t need a fuckup like me in your life.”
“That’s not true.” I reached up to cover his hand with mine. “I need you, Stephen.” He shook his head. His other hand wrapped around my waist to pull me against him. His head lowered, and then his lips were on mine. It was hard to miss the taste of his tears as he kissed me.
“I’m done,” he whispered against my lips. “I’m done talking and trying to explain things that you’ll never understand. Goodbye, Alia.”
“No!” I cried, trying to keep hold of him.
Stephen forced my hands from his. He almost ran to his truck. The door slammed shut loudly, and a few seconds later, he was driving away. Away from me and away from a life we had planned to start.
***
Losing Stephen was even worse than losing my mother. My heart had been torn to pieces that couldn’t be glued together. My family was there to support me, but it wasn’t the same. They couldn’t make me forget. They tried by organizing family dinners. Michael even managed to get Delilah and Dane to come and visit me.
The day Stephen left, I had given up on trying to fix myself. I had numerous scars on my body that was a reminder. Every time I took a bath or a shower, I would see her name carved into my skin. They couldn’t fix my skin, and they couldn’t fix me. I was an empty shell, and I didn’t want to change.
I tried to act normal for the sake of everyone. I even tried going to the mall but ended up having a panic attack. I couldn’t stand being around a large crowd. I couldn’t sleep in the dark. I couldn’t allow anyone to touch me. I hated it. All of it! I wanted to be the girl I used to be, but that would never be possible again.
Alia Dune had died.
***
“I wish you didn’t leave me, Mom,” I whispered.
I leaned forward and placed the flowers inside the vase. After a second of hesitation, I sat down. It still hurt. “It would’ve been easier if you were here with me. I really miss you.”
“She never left you.” I jumped, my head snapping to the right.
My mouth fell open but then slammed closed. I kept silent as Marlin stepped closer. He took a seat next to me and then leaned forward to place a single flower against the grave.
“She tried to hold on,” he said softly. “She fought until she couldn’t anymore.”
“I never mended things with her.”
“Neither did I.” I risked a glance at him.
His eyes were focused on my mother’s gravestone. “When she came to me and told me the truth, I was so pissed at her. I said things that I didn’t really mean, and I was too much of a pussy to go to her and apologize.”
“Do you hate her?” I asked him softly.
He shook his head. “No. In a way, I was glad that she never told me. I wasn’t ready for a kid back then. I couldn’t have taught you all the things Michael did or offer you a family. She made the right choice by keeping you a secret.”
“He never treated me like his daughter.”
“I know,” he said. “I think that when you got kidnapped, he truly realized how wrong he’d been. He was a disaster, Alia. You should’ve seen him. It was the first time I’ve seen him like that. And then your mother died and he lost
it. After the year passed and you weren’t found, he gave up. He accepted the fact that you had died and he had failed you.”
I smiled at him. “I guess that’s why he’s trying so hard now.”
“Probably,” he muttered. He reached out and gripped my hand. “I don’t want things to change. We know the truth now, but we also know that things won’t really change between us. I watched you grow up and I love you, but I can never be a father figure. I’d suck at that.”
I sighed and leaned my head on his shoulder. It was peaceful. Only the sound of the birds could be heard around us.
“Michael is worried.”
“I know.”
“You’re not going to just give up, are you?” he asked softly. “I know you’ve been through hell, but the question is are you going to allow it to ruin your life? You’re still young, sweetie. What happened to you isn’t the end of the world. There are millions of people that suffer day and night, but they don’t give up. You survived for two years. You can do it again. We’ll be with you every single step of the way.”
Chapter Forty-Five
Three years later
I gripped my bag tighter as I stepped into the tent. All around me was a buzz of activities. I felt nervous but excited at the same time. This was the second time they had called me in to do this job. It took me two years to work out my issues. Two years with the help of my therapist and my family. I was close to being my old self, but not really. I hated small spaces. The dark freaked me out, and nobody was allowed to touch me. I had grown. I had fought my demons and won.
Marlin had said something that day that made me realize he was right. I made a suggestion to Michael after thinking it through. He said he would give me time to heal and then he would talk to the board. I wanted to help them when they rescued women who went through what I did. I enjoyed doing it.
