But ever since I met Katie, I’ve felt more alive, more productive. I’ve finally been able to work out this new idea.
That’s it. I need to get Katie’s number and more than that as well. I’m not going to let anything stop me.
I’ll let her know that Ruby’s job is safe— but I can’t say the same for Katie’s heart, or mine either. I’ve never felt like this about a woman I haven’t even slept with. Hopefully I just need to get that out of my system and everything will return to normal.
I can start chasing other women again and get Katie out of my head. Or at best, she’ll be my pet for a while and then I can move on to the rest.
I’ll fool myself by thinking that, just like Dr. Madison fools me by saying I really make a difference in my mom’s moods or treatment.
I decide to go to Asher and Madilyn’s wedding and do whatever it takes to get with Katie Finnegan. I have never been one to let anyone’s “no” stop me, and I’m not going to start with hers.
“Okay mom, I have to get going,” I say, standing up and giving her a kiss on the head.
“See you later, crocodile,” she says, still enthralled in her game and obviously slipping out of lucidity.
Oh well, I think, smiling down at her. At least she knew who I was when I first got here. And at least she likes my new game, even though I have big improvements to be made.
Also, at least I was able to work some things out for myself during this visit. Such as the fact that I am going to go get Katie Finnegan no matter what it takes.
Chapter 10 – Katie
ONE WEEK LATER
This is it. Madilyn’s big day. Her wedding day, where she marries the founding partner of the firm, Asher Isaacs. And its Valentine’s Day as well.
As the officiant pronounces Madilyn and Asher as man and wife and announces them as Mr. and Mrs. Asher Isaacs, all of their many guests, including me, clap and whistle and blow bubbles. They walk down the aisle, Madilyn looking exuberant and Asher looking proud.
I’m happy for them. Even though I would never, ever, ever get married, it’s what they want, so good for them. And they sure do know how to throw a party.
As the guests are ushered to the reception, Ruby and I take in the wonder that is a fancy schmancy wedding thrown by very rich people.
I say hello to my boss Jim Reed and look around for Madilyn so I can properly congratulate her. I can’t find her. I’m sure she and Asher have snuck off somewhere to take pictures— and to do other not so top secret things, knowing those two.
I can’t get over what a big, beautifully decorated ballroom they’ve rented in the resort for all of their wedding guests to celebrate with them. And I just so happen to notice Damien Hudson talking to Ron Sanchez, Asher’s best man.
Immediately my heart starts to race and my panties feel damp. I swallow, hard, telling myself not to have any visible reaction.
But Ruby still notices.
“Katie, Katie, Katie,” she says. “I thought you were over him. At least that’s what you’ve been spending the last two weeks telling me every time we’re on a break in the filing room.”
“I know,” I tell her, mortified that I can so easily flip flop.
But my heart is doing somersaults and cartwheels that my head can’t keep up with.
“It’s okay,” she whispers, squeezing my hand. “I know exactly how it is.”
Shit.
I’m so fucked.
Eventually Asher and Madilyn emerge and are announced again as they make their grand entrance into the ballroom. There are toasts, speeches and congratulatory reisaacs throughout a dinner that actually tastes pretty good, for catered wedding food.
There is Asher and Madilyn’s first dance, where they look into each other’s eyes with sickenly sweet devotion and love. And then the real party gets started.
“Congratulations,” I tell Madilyn when I’m finally able to make my way over to her. Ruby hugs her as well.
“Thanks, ladies,” she says, smiling at all of us. “This is the first time I’ve been able to relax since everything started earlier today. I never knew that getting married could be such a stressful event.”
Just wait until you’ve been married a few years, I feel like telling her. From what I’ve seen first hand, after the honeymoon and the wedded bliss wears off, there’s nothing left but stress and fibromyalgia.
Of course, I don’t say it out loud. Not even to Ruby. A wedding is neither the time nor the place for my cynicism.
I wish I weren’t so skeptical but I have seen what happens after people get married. I grew up with it. And I have no idea why people even believe in love, if they have ever seen the reality of a committed relationship up close.
But this isn’t about my thoughts and feelings about marriage. This is about Madilyn and her wedding day. So, I knock back the glass of champagne she hands me— apparently having a lot of money can buy a wedding reception where they don’t card guests— and say, “Here’s to the best day of your life!” with genuine (if not a bit ironic) sincerity.
“Help me celebrate, ladies,” Madilyn says, as the DJ begins playing the Cupid Shuffle.
Ruby and I hit the dance floor with her, going “to the left, to the left, to the right, to the right, to the right,” kicking and shuffling and walking by ourselves, just like everyone is supposed to do at a wedding reception.
Suddenly I see a tall, formidable creature on the dance floor. The only guy among a sea of ladies. It’s Damien, of course. And everyone except for me seems to love that he’s joined us for the Cupid Shuffle.
Some of Madilyn’s fellow associates, which she jokingly refers to as “The Barbies” are smiling and batting their eyelashes as Damien.
“Look at those shameless hussies,” I say to Ruby, not even trying to hide my annoyance.
Damien’s only looking at me though: getting down and doing his dance and singing “now come on, baby, kick” right in my direction. I have to pretend I’m having as much fun as everyone else so I smile while I shimmy and shake. And then I have to admit to myself that I actually am having fun.
“Yeah, Madilyn, why’d you invite the Barbies?” Ruby demands, as the three of us dance side by side in a line.
“Shhhh,” she says, laughing. “They obviously don’t know I call them that.”
“You’re not exactly fond of them,” Ruby says, referencing Madilyn’s early days at the firm and when she first started dating Asher. Apparently, those other new associates were quite mean to her but she got them in the end— by getting Asher.
“Oh, you know,” Madilyn says, shrugging. “Happiness is the best revenge, and stuff like that.”
“You just want to rub it in their faces and make them jealous, don’t you?” Ruby asks.
Madilyn laughs and says, “Well yeah, that too.”
“Well good job,” I tell her. “This is a lovely wedding. And very extravagant too. I’m sure they’re going to go home alone and cry into their pillows tonight about their lack of good fortune.”
“They’ll always have ‘Ken’ to keep them company,” Ruby says, nodding towards the second guy to join the dance floor: an associate who follows the “Barbies” around unsuccessfully attempting to date and/or sleep with them.
We laugh and then the music stops.
“Now it’s time for a slow dance,” the DJ announces. “So, grab your special someone and hold them tight, and hope and pray that your relationship turns out as nice as the bride’s and groom’s has.”
Madilyn and Ruby split off from me, each heading to their special man. And there I am in the middle of the dance floor with Damien Hudson.
“Well hello, Katie,” he says, extending his arm to me. “May I have this dance?”
Of course, it’s Dirty Dancing. “Time of My Life.” Only Madilyn would choose something so cheesy yet so perfect for the slow dance song at her wedding reception.
“I suppose so,” I tell him, still not willing to completely let down my guard.
But
I have to admit I’m glad he asked me. I want him in a way that’s too strong to deny. And I can tell the same is true for him.
He takes me in his arms and looks down at me as if I’m the only woman in the entire ballroom. He smells like the outdoors— probably because that’s where the wedding ceremony was held, but also because he always seems to smell fresh and musty at the same time. It’s a sexy, masculine, powerful scent that’s uniquely his.
He holds me close and I can feel the Barbies’ eyes on us— it feels like everyone’s eyes are on us although I’m sure most people are watching Asher and Madilyn— and I don’t even care.
It feels right.
“Go to dinner with me,” Damien says, as I lift my head off his strong chest to look up into his eyes.
“I don’t exactly date,” I tell him.
Do you have any idea who my father is? I think about saying, but I don’t.
“Neither do I,” he says. “But I bet you we’d have fun.”
“You do, do you?”
“Just get it over with already,” Ruby groans, swooping in to make fun of us. “I double dare you guys to go out.”
She winks at me— as if to say “you’re welcome”— and then she and Ron glide back over towards the outskirts of the dance floor, leaving Damien and I alone once again.
“Well, since Ruby is daring us,” Damien says.
“And she’s your favorite person in the whole world,” I tell him.
He laughs.
“All right, fine,” he says. “Since that’s what you’re so concerned about. If you go on a date with me I promise you I won’t get Ruby fired.”
“Oh whatever,” I tell him. “You don’t have that sort of power. She’s dating one of the bosses and she’s friends with the other bosses’ new wife.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he says. “You want me to like her, so I’ll like her. I won’t try to get her fired or do anything crazy against her. As long, as she doesn’t hack my stuff, I’ll forget about it. It’s in the past. Just go to dinner with me.”
“Fine,” I tell him, unable to hold up against his constant demands. I wanted to do it the first time he mentioned it, though. I just didn’t want to look like a pushover. “But that’s it. Just dinner. Just once.”
“Exactly,” he says, his hands tracing my back through my sheer dress, his lips grazing the tip of my ear in a way that makes me want more. “It’s just a bet. We’re doing it because Ruby dared us to. And that will be it.”
“That will be it,” I agree, as the song ends and we’ll left staring at each other, each daring the other to be the first one to let go.
Finally, I step away, just so I don’t become office gossip. But I wonder how long he would have held me if I hadn’t moved away from him first.
Chapter 11 – Damien
ONE WEEK LATER
As Katie and I eat dinner on the rooftop balcony of Jicaya Restaurant, one of the nicest in Albuquerque, I feel like I did when I was sixteen years old and went on my very first date.
My palms are sweaty. My heart is racing. I’m not acting my age, which is twice hers. I need to fucking pull myself together.
I’ve been waiting for tonight all week. And much longer than that, if I’m honest with myself. I’ve been waiting for tonight since I first literally ran into Katie Finnegan at the Isaacs, Sanchez and Reed law firm. And maybe I’ve been waiting for this night my entire life.
I have got to get a fucking grip. But I feel jittery, talkative, alive. I know we only have this one night together and I don’t want it to end.
“How was your week?” I ask her, which is a question I immediately regret because it sounds so mundane.
“It was pretty crazy,” she says. “I’ve had to listen to Ruby chat non-stop about getting married.”
“I heard that Ron proposed after the wedding,” I tell her. “That’s pretty insane.”
“I know, right? Marriage is for suckers.”
I almost spit the filet mignon I’m eating out of my mouth.
“I meant, more specifically, that it’s pretty insane for Ron and Ruby to be engaged so quickly,” I clarify.
“Oh, yeah, that’s kind of insane too,” Katie agrees. “But that’s Ruby for you. She knows what she wants when she wants it and she doesn’t let anyone get in her way.”
She takes a bite of her salmon.
“They’re moving really quickly on everything,” she says. “They’re getting married in Spain, where Ruby ran off to when she and Ron broke up for a hot minute. Did you know that I’m the sole reason they got back together?”
“Is that so?” I ask her, as she grins sarcastically.
“Well, I played a big role in it, that’s for sure.”
She cracks me up. I love her sense of humor, the sound of her laugh, the way that she talks.
“You’re pretty good at setting people up even though you yourself don’t date,” I tell her.
She nods, realizing the conversation has taken a turn for the serious.
“Have you ever had a serious boyfriend?”
She shakes her head.
“I’ve never really wanted one.”
I pause, considering this news.
I bet she’s a virgin.
Normally this knowledge would turn me off— it’s such a big responsibility to take someone’s virginity and they might get clingy at levels even I haven’t experienced. But like everything else about Katie, the idea intrigues me.
I want to be her first.
But first I want to get to know more about her. Which is something I’ve never really cared to do with any woman.
“So, you continually mention that you don’t believe in love,” I say.
“Yep.”
She shrugs.
I feel like a fucking dumbass for mentioning anything. But I can’t stop now. I want to know all about her.
“Why is that?”
She just looks at me, as if she’s afraid to talk.
“Ask me something else,” she says finally, picking up her fork again.
Fair enough.
“Okay,” I tell her. “Why do you smoke pot?”
Now her look is surprised, as if she definitely wasn’t expecting me to ask that. As if she didn’t even know that I knew.
“I have a medical card,” she says quickly, as if she’s in trouble.
“It’s fine,” I tell her. “I’m not interrogating you. I just wondered.”
“All right,” she sighs, as she takes a sip of her water. “I guess I’ll just tell you. I suppose the answers to your two questions are one in the same.”
Hmmm.
She’s stumped me now. What does the reason she doesn’t believe in love have to do with the reason she smokes post?
“I have anxiety, ADHD, I’m basically a big head case,” she says. “You have no idea.”
I have some idea, I think, but I don’t say anything. I just nod at her, silently asking her to continue.
“It’s a good thing this is just a dinner date, as part of Ruby’s stupid dare, because you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me. I’m a mess. A real basket case.”
“I see,” I tell her. “You have anxiety about relationships?”
“About pretty much everything,” she tells me.
I sense that there’s more to it than that, but it seems to be a big deal to her to just tell me this much, so I don’t pry.
“I have social anxiety, I get nervous and jittery, I always think the worst about things. I always think I’m going to get into trouble.”
She shrugs.
“Why is that?” I ask her, since she kind of left the door open to the question.
She stares at me.
“Maybe I’ll tell you sometime,” she says. “But this is just a date.”
“Of course,” I agree. “Just a date.”
But it’s by far one of the best dates I’ve ever had. I love a challenge. And Katie is quite the mystery. I’m fucking proud of myself for getting her to open
up to me emotionally even if it’s just a little bit. And I know I can get her to open up to me physically too.
Chapter 12 – Katie
It’s only a date. It’s only a date.
I just told Damien that, and I keep telling myself that.
Except I know I’m full of shit.
Who am I trying to fool? Certainly, not myself. And apparently not Damien either.
“Come back to my house with me,” he says, boldly, after he’s paid the check— which cost more than I get paid for several days of work.
I just look at him. I know it’s pointless to repeat that it’s just a date.
We’ve somehow moved beyond that. Something has shifted. He knows I’m going to say yes to going home with him. Even if we both regret it later.
I want him now, tonight. All of him. Inside me. For my very first time. And I can tell he wants that too.
“Katie,” he says, in a tone of voice that drives me wild. “I want to be with you. Just tonight. You do something to me that…”
He picks his cloth napkin off up his lap and stands up. He grabs my hand and says, “Come with me. Please. I… need you.”
I look up at him, amazed at the sincerity in his voice. The vulnerability. It’s obvious he’s telling the truth. He’s driven by some physical and emotional need to be with me. And I feel the same way about him.
“I need to be back within a few hours,” I tell him, embarrassed to admit I still live with my parents. “Please don’t ask me why.”
I had had him pick me up at Ruby’s house, telling him I had gotten ready there. That was true, but I left out the part about living in a parsonage next to the church where my dad preaches every Sunday. I figured that wouldn’t be first date— or only date— material.
“Okay,” he says, although his eyes tell me that he wants to know more. “Just come with me.”
We are silent on the drive to his apartment, pop music playing over the radio. I think we both know there isn’t much more to say. We are going to turn this date into everything a date can turn into.
SEAL's Virgin: A Bad Boy Military Romance Page 48
