Cassie stood at the doorway watching Clint help his grandmother into the truck. Shivers dashed up and down her spine; goose-bumps fought for space on her arms.
Cassie played a board game with the children until Clint returned. Her spirits were up again. How could they be otherwise, with the energy of those two urchins? What one didn’t think of, the other did. Their laughter filled Cassie’s soul and made her heart lurch. Damn, she had to get out of here, and soon.
“We want Fire Woman to tuck us in,” Samantha announced, when it was bedtime.
Starting to protest, Cassie saw the vulnerability so evident on the two beaming faces. They had seemed so, so strong and fun loving earlier. Now they seemed unsteady, nearly lost.
“If it’s okay with your father and grandmother.”
Both nodded assent.
The children slept in a small room off the kitchen. Cassie pulled the covers up to tuck them under Samantha’s chin. With a teddy bear in one hand, the little girl threw her arms around Cassie, nearly pulling her off balance. No peck on the brow was going to satisfy this child. Cassie hugged as strongly as she was being hugged.
Samantha whispered, “Thanks for coming to see us. I like you. And I know Daddy does too.”
Cassie’s eyes brimmed full with tears. She mumbled incoherently, “It was good to meet you. I like you too.”
“What about my daddy?”
Cassie grinned. There was no getting off the hook with this one. “Yes, I like your daddy too. Good-night.”
“Your turn, young man,” Cassie said, taking a deep breath. Boys would not be as sentimental as girls. Right?
She brushed Lester’s hair out of his eyes and kissed his forehead. “Good-night, Lester. I enjoyed meeting you too.”
“Me too,” he said, his eyes shining with intensity. “Can you promise me something?”
Cassie looked at the lad cautiously. “Well, if I can. What is it?”
“When you marry my dad, can we be at the wedding?”
“My goodness, Lester. Where did you get such an idea? We’ve not even talked of such a thing.” Cassie clamped a hand over her mouth. She had to stop rattling on. This was an eight year old child she was dealing with. He didn’t require a dissertation on why she and his father would not be marrying.
“That’s okay, ma’am. Just when you do. Don’t forget to invite us. Chicago sounds like a long way away.”
Cassie hugged the boy. She tried not to sob, yet unwanted tears ran down her cheeks. “Okay,” she barely managed to mutter. Slowly, Cassie stood, wiped the tears from her eyes and retreated from that tiny room overflowing with love.
When she re-entered the kitchen, she saw Clint watching her oddly. She couldn’t decipher his emotions; he’d put on a mask again.
“Are you okay, Cass?” he asked. His concern was genuine.
Smiling weakly, she replied, “Yeah, I’m all right. You certainly have a couple livewires there.” She sighed deeply, as if preparing to get on with the rest of her life. “Don’t you think we’d better be going soon? It’s already late.”
“Yeah, let me gather my things.”
“Thanks so much for your hospitality, Mrs. Travers,” Cassie said, turning to face the woman pouring coffee into a thermos for them.
“I’m glad you could be here,” said Mrs. Travers, glancing away. “Don’t let the children upset you. They mean well. And obviously they like you a lot.”
“Did you…” Cassie’s hand flew to her throat. “Did he hear them?”
“The walls here are quite thin, I’m afraid.” Shaking her head, the woman said, “Don’t worry about it. No harm was done. If it’s meant to be, then it will happen and neither you nor my sometimes dunderhead of a son can do anything about it.”
- o -
They were driving west on Highway 40 before Clint spoke, not quite sure what to anticipate from Cassie. He’d half expected her to be railing at him by now. “Sorry about that back there. Guess I should have warned you. Never know what’s gonna happen when I stop there.”
“Never mind. I had a delightful time,” Cassie mumbled mid-yawn, dozing off to sleep.
He tugged on her gently. She slid across the bench seat and slept easily, with her head resting against his shoulder and his arm securely wrapped about her.
With one hand on the steering wheel, Clint drove on into the night deep in thought. There would be some serious explaining to do, but at least not right now.
Why had he stopped there? The papers he’d picked up regarding his mother’s property taxes were important, but certainly not urgent.
And what about Sammy and Lester? Did they want a mother so badly they would jump on the first woman he brought home? But she wasn’t just any woman. She was his spitfire—well, at least for the moment. What was it his grandmother had called her? Woman of Fire. Wasn’t that the truth. He never wanted to tame that fire, but neither did he want to be burned by it. Singed maybe, but not burned.
- o -
Cassie smelled his scent and savored it. She rested easily pressed against his body. There was much to talk about, but she didn’t need to do that just yet. She wanted the whole afternoon and evening to just wash over her in its fullness.
Why couldn’t life stay like this? She’d felt the love within the Travers family. And she’d felt the love they were willing to share with her.
She shuddered. That wasn’t where she was headed. A horse trainer who couldn’t even race his best horses where they might make some money. A strange man who she still knew so little about. A father. Two children.
Cassie slipped off into dreamland. Several sets of coal-black eyes moved in and out of a haze, comforting, beckoning, chastising, challenging, supporting. Their message was oblique; their message was clear.
CHAPTER SIX
The alarm clock clamored as if from a faraway echo chamber. Cassie moaned dreamily; one bare leg jerked out from under the covers. The noise didn’t abate. With one eyelid slit open, she reached for the clock. It crashed to the floor with a bang, ringing as loudly as ever. Tossing the blankets aside, she dropped to her knees, blindly searching for the offending object. At last, she pushed the oppressive button. Silence. She sighed, grateful for small accomplishments.
Standing, disheveled, she raked her fingers through tangled hair trying to remember where she was and what she was doing in the small dank motel room. Ah, he’d dropped her off several hours earlier so she could get some sleep before heading to the track.
Memories overran her like so many unwanted bounced checks—memories of a slightly overprotective hunk of a man, of two impish children eager to adopt her as their own, of his mother reserved yet welcoming, and of his grandmother peering into her heart.
Cassie shuddered. This she didn’t need. A fling was one thing; a family was quite another. A fling wasn’t even an affair. Family meant rings, promises, and responsibilities. And in this case, being a mother. “I’ve got more than enough responsibilities already,” she snarled. “Thank you very much.”
Who had poured concrete into her arms and legs? Everything she did preparing Hope for her morning workout occurred in slow motion. Her social outing to Utah had taken more out of her than she’d realized. Glancing around with more than a little curiosity, she could see no evidence of his blue pickup. He was expected at the stables, but then he’d driven all the way back to Evanston while she slept.
Where the hell was he? He had to come, because she had to tell him they were finished. And he had some tall explaining to do. When did he get the fantastic idea of taking her to his mother’s house? And why hadn’t he ever said anything about his kids? Clearly, he loved them. Didn’t he think she was good enough for them?
Cassie forced bile back down her throat. No matter. She was leaving. The best thing about Evanston, Wyoming and all it represented would be watching it disappear in her rearview mirror. She kicked at an imaginary object; her horse kicked out a hind leg, barely missing Cassie’s ankle.
“Better pay atten
tion to business, or you’ll find yourself in the hospital yet.”
Cassie’s heart sank. She whirled. “Why the hell are you always sneaking up on me, Clint Travers? Can’t you ever make noise like the rest of us?”
“Cause I love your reaction at being surprised, I guess.” He paused to watch a rider trot a horse toward the track. He smiled that lopsided grin, immediately sending Cassie’s stomach tumbling, jeopardizing her vow to distance herself from the man. “Suppose we need to talk some about yesterday,” he drawled, his tone turning suddenly serious.
“I don’t,” she countered, trying to appear nonplused. “I’m pulling out of here tomorrow after I’ve packed my gear and gotten some sleep. Yesterday was just one more crazy blip on this little weird journey of mine.”
“Ah, so the ice queen re-emerges. You’re right, it doesn’t really matter. The people you met yesterday don’t matter. It was a mistake to take you there. I hadn’t planned it. I wish to God it hadn’t happened.” He spun about and walked stiffly toward his end of shedrow.
Tears burned Cassie’s eyes. Damn him. Ice queen. She was no ice queen. She was merely being sensible. There was no room in her life for a man, especially a horse trainer fifteen hundred miles from Chicago with two incredibly cute kids. No way!
Two hours later, Cassie sat in the canteen sipping tea and trying to calm her nerves. She glanced out the window and saw Travers packing gear into his horse trailer. Was he going to leave before she could?
She stood up and tossed some coins on the table and moved swiftly toward the exit. Damn if he was going to get away without her clearing up a few things.
- o -
Clint slammed the storage door shut. The woman had really gotten under his skin this time. Hell, he’d had affairs before. And some of those women were still among his best friends. But Cassie O’Hanlon had discounted him from the beginning—because he was a horse trainer. And then she’d rejected his family. That was the last straw. She might not like him, but…
He sat on the running board, took out his penknife and started cleaning the dirt wedged in the grooves of his boot.
Things would be better after she went back to Chicago. He wouldn’t have to see her every day and visually undress the damn woman. He knew her curves too well. He knew her scent too well. He knew her taste too well.
She’d turned him inside out, and he’d done nothing to resist. Even when it was clear all she wanted was a fling, he had just blithely followed along, as if she was a female Pied Piper. The best thing to do now was ignore her. He didn’t trust himself to get too close to her even now. He knew he’d never physically harm a woman, but he might burn her ass with words she’d never heard before.
He felt used…yet she’d been honest with him from the beginning. He was the fool for thinking there might be more between them. Maybe her declaration of having no future with a horse trainer had simply goaded him into trying to prove her wrong.
Clint folded up his knife and relaxed a bit. He’d bet that was it. She’d just provoked his competitive spirit. That was all there was to it. He could survive the resulting damage to his ego. My god, what would have happened if he’d won her over and she’d wanted more? He wasn’t ready for another wife.
The best thing he could do was pack up his horses and take them back to Utah. He could skip the next weekend of racing. Besides, the kids would be thrilled to have him home for a couple weeks.
“There you are,” Cassie said. “You’re not going anywhere until I tell you a thing or two.”
“Whoa, woman.” Clint stood and leaned against the horse trailer. “I feel more comfortable facing your fire standing.”
She stood with hands on hips glaring at him, trying to remember why she had to leave.
Clint smiled bitterly. “Okay, woman, spit it out. If you don’t, you’ll burst, and I don’t want to be responsible for that.”
That did it. Cassie pulled off her baseball cap and banged it against the trailer. Ignoring the resulting dust cloud, she said shortly, “You can be the most vexing man, Clint Travers.”
“I imagine you’re right about that.”
“I just wanted you to know before I leave that what we shared this week meant a lot to me. I will always treasure that time in my heart.”
“Right.”
“Don’t be an ass when I’m trying to tell you how I feel.”
“Okay,” Clint said guardedly.
“I didn’t come here seeking a man in my life. I just got rid of one. You were different. The attraction was heated—mutually, I believe. And any relationship with you had boundaries. I was clear about that right along.”
He stared blankly at her, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.
“So. I needed you to know how special our lovemaking, all our time together was. And it’s terribly important to me that you know I’m not walking away because I didn’t like your family. You have a warm, loving family. Your kids are treasures.” Cassie shook her head, fighting back tears.
“Yes, you’re a horse trainer and I’ve vowed not to get involved with any man in the horse world. But, to be truthful, I don’t want to be involved with any man at this point in my life. There is too much going on with my father, with Hope, with my career. I don’t have time or space for a man right now. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is. You need to find a woman who will be comfortable being the wife of a horseman and mother to his children. You don’t need me.”
Clint pulled on his nose and looked toward the southeastern horizon. He glanced back at her and tipped his hat. “I guess you’re right, lady.”
His cold words stung like windblown hail. She glimpsed the pain in his dark eyes before he spun on his heel, opened the door to his truck, climbed in, started the engine and drove off.
Cassie watched the truck disappear around the corner of the stable; tears coursed down her cheeks. What had she really expected? She’d said her piece. He’d listened. And then he left.
So be it.
The red-orange glow of the rising sun nearly blinded Cassie. Sunglasses hardly mattered. Fighting the glare, fighting a headache, fighting tears, she guided her truck and trailer eastward along the deep rock-cut banks of Rock Springs, Wyoming. The flaming orb appeared to be sitting atop I-80. She slowed down, letting braver or crazier drivers go by in the passing lane.
Anxiously, she cussed at the poor timing of having to travel through that particular part of the country at sunrise. But she’d wanted to get an early start to take advantage of the cooler morning hours and to avoid attracting unwanted attention to her departure. She’d pulled out of the Downs long before dawn.
I Only Wanna Be With You was blaring on the truck radio. Wrong song. She punched the off button, but the silence wasn’t much better.
She hadn’t been surprised to see the blue pickup that Travers called his road office parked among the few vehicles sitting in the lot that early in the morning. Had he come back to be certain she’d left his kingdom? As she drove her rig out of the parking lot, she’d felt his eyes boring in on her. He’d no doubt been buried deep in the shadows of the stables.
- o -
She’d been right. Clint had stood stoically in the shadows of shedrow and watched until the tail-lights of her trailer could no longer be seen. He’d wanted to leave for Utah before she left for Chicago—so much for determination. He’d changed his mind because he wanted to say something to her to erase the bitterness of his words the previous day, but he couldn’t find the words to replace them. The woman made him feel inept and callous. Like no other woman he’d ever known, she’d turned him inside out, and he didn’t like it a damn bit.
He stood there a while after she drove out, trying to appreciate the still burning stars of Father Sky. There was little room in his soul for thanksgiving. He felt utterly bereft and painfully alone. His eyes narrowed watching those taillights disappear in the darkness before the dawn. He wanted to put her behind him, but he was certain he wasn’t finished with the red-headed minx aiming for I-8
0 and her escape route east.
- o -
The Chicago skyline stood out crisply against a clear blue sky. The strong tail wind that had helped Cassie make good time coming across the prairie had scoured the Chicago air of smog. Cassie knew it wouldn’t last long, but it was beautiful.
She glanced in her review mirror. She hoped she hadn’t made the biggest mistake of her life. She couldn’t help but fume over him not telling her about his kids. She hadn’t been prepared. They’d curled around her heart before she had a chance to mount a proper defense. No way could she be an instant mother. Good thing it was just a fling.
She was running scared, but that was okay. At least, she could still run. When would she be able to sleep again without feeling chilled because he wasn’t holding her?
Turning off the Interstate, she left those thoughts behind. She had an important race to prepare for and she couldn’t afford any distractions. Cassie’s Hope needed her full attention.
Three nights later, Cassie wrestled in her sleep. There was no relief for a pained heart. She’d had no choice. She couldn’t have stayed. Maybe he was more man than she wanted, and there was no room in her life for kids.
Why couldn’t she convince her heart of that fact?
- o -
Fifteen hundred miles away, Clint Travers paced the living room where they’d made such beautiful music together in front of the fireplace. The hearth was now dark. He hadn’t built a fire since she’d left.
He’d wanted to call, but she’d probably hang up. And anyhow, the phone couldn’t help him with his need to run his fingers through her thick auburn mane. He wanted to hear her voice, but he desperately needed that tactile sensation of her fire singeing him every time he brushed up against her.
Would she even speak to him if he went to Chicago? Could he handle her rejection—again? Clint’s cheek muscles twitched. Was she worth the risk? Were they worth the risk? If he went to her, he’d make it damn clear that he wasn’t pursuing a fling. He’d be coming after the entire package—body, mind and soul.
Cassie's Hope (Riders Up) Page 10
