When the path became too narrow for them to walk side by side, she gave up the view of the shrubbery for one far more appealing.
He trekked silently through the brush in front of her, each movement a teasing glimpse of firm muscle as his loose-fitting trousers pulled tight against his raas and thighs and released. His long, silky black hair swayed gently back and forth against his broad back, fascinating her. She itched to feel that gorgeous, incredibly soft hair slide through her fingers again.
“You don’t wear your hair like the other Bellarissians I’ve seen. Why is that?” Not that she was complaining. It would be a crime to confine that beautiful hair the way the princes did.
“It’s not practical in my line of work.” He slowed his pace, allowing her to walk beside him once again. “I keep the top and sides short to keep it out of my face.”
She studied his profile and had to admit it only added to his attractiveness. “But why not wear it pulled back like they do?”
“It’s a lot harder to get a firm grip on loose strands than it is a thick rope of hair.”
“For fighting then.” Not style. The man didn’t have a vain bone in his body.
“Fighting is part of my life. Not as much these days, but the threat is still there.”
“Do you wish it were otherwise?”
“I’ve wished for a lot of things over the years, prayed too.” His face took on that blank look. “Neither one ever did me a damned bit of good. Frak still happens, people still betray you. All the wishes and prayers in the universe won’t change that.”
So much hurt. So much pain. Ali’ra preserve, how she needed to know every facet of this complicated man. She needed to know what forced a brilliant engineer into a life of constant danger. “Why were you banished for a crime you didn’t commit?”
He blinked and looked at her, obviously surprised by her blunt question. “Is this another one of those `I need to know’ subjects?”
She nodded, holding her breath. Would he tell her? Or cut off their conversation as he did the last time she tried to approach the subject of his dead love. “If it’s too painful—”
“I told you, I put my past behind me a long time ago.” He rubbed his hand over his face. “Are you sure you want to know this?”
The thought of it twisted her guts, but if their destiny was to have a chance, she needed to know everything. “Very much.”
“Why was I banished? That’s a question that doesn’t have a simple `because’ answer.”
“I understand.”
“Do you? I wish I had. I didn’t get it until it was too late to stop my life from falling apart.”
“What happened, tali?”
“Nina wanted it all—the sun, moon, stars, the whole drekking universe—and it killed her. She was a beauty, like you, the kind of woman no man passes without taking a second look but unlike you, she was very insecure. She craved constant attention. Without it, she carried on worse than a child.”
He laced his fingers through hers. The pleasure of that simple touch was worth more than a thousand of Cordan’s expensive pendants.
“I made good money, but my job took much of my time. She really hated that. I constantly had to cancel plans she made because my team was on the verge of making a new technology work, and I didn’t want to drop it for dinner or some party.”
“Not the party type?” She grinned.
“I’ll take my machines any day.” He raised her hand and kissed her wrist.
Her pulse quickened and a delightful shock ran up her arm. Before it had had time to fade, his warm lips caressed the side of her neck.
She moaned and leaned into him as he tortured her with his soft mouth, kissing, licking, scraping his teeth gently across her sensitive skin. The soft nip over her pulse was her undoing. She fisted her hands in his shirt and rubbed her cheek against his, hoping to coax his lips to hers. “Anesma help me, I want you so much!”
Instead of lowering her to the soft, mossy ground, he pulled away. They stared at each other, chests heaving, his gaze searching her face. Searching for something she couldn’t give. Not yet.
He let his hands fall and stepped back, forcing her to release her grip on his shirt. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“I’m not sorry you did.” She reached to smooth the wrinkles she’d made in his shirt, but stopped before her fingers stroked the soft, gray fabric. He wouldn’t accept her touch now.
Walk. She needed to walk. Something, to keep her from giving him anything he wanted just so she could rub her naked skin against his and feel him deep inside her. Gods preserve, how she wanted to become one with him. She couldn’t give in to lust. “You were telling me about Nina.”
Drake chuckled, shaking his head. “You never quit, do you?”
She smiled, relieved he wasn’t sulking. “Is that a bad thing?”
“No, but it can be damned annoying.”
“You don’t say.”
He made a grab for her.
Laughing, she dodged his arms and ran down the path. Before she’d gone a half-dozen steps, he tackled her, twisting his body so he absorbed the shock of their fall.
Grinning, he rolled her onto her back and straddled her hips. “No one gets away with baiting me.” His fingers slid down her ribs.
“Oh, no—”
Too late. He tickled her sides until she laughed so hard tears streaked down her temples into her hair.
“I give,” she laughed, squirming under him, barely able to breathe. “I give.”
With a nod of triumph, he levered himself off of her and gave her a hand to her feet.
She jabbed him lightly with her elbow. “That’s…not…fair,” she wheezed. “Why do you men always use your size and strength against us smaller women? Danon used to do that to me all the time.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. You did say your brother thought you were damned annoying too.”
She crossed her arms in front of her, and gave him her hardest glare. Her twitching lips lessened its effectiveness. “Just for that, you’re cooking dinner.”
He raised his eyebrow.
“You didn’t think I’d force you to do everything, did you?”
He nodded. “You’re not supposed to be here, remember?”
Her cheeks filled with heat. “Well, no—”
“Then let me do what I have to do.” He ran his thumb across her trembling lips.
“All right,” she whispered.
He dropped his hand. “Where were we?”
“Nina.” Her disappointment made her tone sulky.
He rubbed his hand over his face, nodding, and gestured toward the path. When they were walking again, he took a deep breath and slowly released it. “The night she died, we were supposed to go to a musical. It was the opening night, and she’d been looking forward to it for weeks. She went so far as to tell me that if I tried to cancel for anything less than a reactor meltdown, our engagement was over.”
“Kind of drastic, don’t you think?” What a self-centered little—
“The royal family was attending, and we’d been invited to join them in their private box. Nina refused to miss an opportunity like that.”
She sounded like Mother. Jelena kicked a loose stone in the path, sending it tumbling into the brush.
“She wanted me to take the day off, so nothing would ruin her plans, but we were so close with the final specs on the kinetic energy generator we were designing that I didn’t want to give up a whole day’s work.” Drake sighed, shaking his head. “To make her happy, I decided to take off a few hours early, but I didn’t count on breaking my arm in three places.”
Jelena gasped. “What happened?”
“The failsafe on the spinner malfunctioned. It kicked on just as I reached in to make an adjustment. If my men hadn’t had such quick reflexes and yanked me back when they did, it would have ripped my arm off.” He flexed his arm.
She had the urge to rub it, to assure him that it was still there and intact.
“I commed her from the hospital and told her I couldn’t make it. Gods, she was furious. Told me I was mean and selfish, and if I didn’t appreciate her, she’d find someone who would.”
“What did you do?”
“You saw how I am when I’m in pain. I get meaner than an Ursur.”
Jelena nodded. She remembered quite well.
“I told her, `If that’s what you really want, do it. I won’t stop you.’ I cut her off before she said anything more and went home. I found out she’d been murdered the next morning when the enforcers dragged me out of bed and shackled me.”
“Why did they think you’d done it?”
“She told her parents I was running late and would meet her there. When they came to question my alibi, my old man denied I was there. Said he didn’t remember seeing me come home at all that night.”
“Why would he do that?”
“He said he wasn’t about to defend a worthless bastard who’d let a little whore make a fool out of him.” The pain in his voice touched her soul.
“You’re not worthless,” she whispered, squeezing his fingers.
“Maybe,” he shook his head, “but the bastard part is right. He was right about that all along.”
“Drake—”
“I’m okay with it. It’s not like I have any choice.” He rubbed his hand over his face. “When they examined her body, they found that mine wasn’t the only seed in her body. They concluded that I’d found out about her lover and killed her in a fit of jealousy.”
“She betrayed you with another man.” Ali’ra preserve, no wonder he was afraid to trust anyone.
He shook his head. “It was more than that. He was bonded to her.”
“They were already wed?”
“No, a marriage can be ended. Bonding can’t—at least for the man. It’s been called a man’s greatest gift to a woman, the ability to bind himself to her mind body and soul. It brings them closer than you can possibly imagine and enhances their pleasure beyond compare.”
“I’ve never heard of that. Is it strictly a Bellarissian ability?”
He shrugged. “I read somewhere that all men were able to do it once, but the more war-like people weren’t as sensitive to the workings of their souls and were able to set aside their need to be one with someone.”
Jelena’s people were more in tune with the gods’ workings than they were with their own souls.
“They considered bonding a weakness and eliminated it from their cultures.”
“Why would they consider something so wonderful a weakness?”
“It has drawbacks. A bonded man will never desire another woman as long as he lives which in itself isn’t bad, but if he chose a woman who didn’t love him with her whole heart, think of the power she has over him.”
Jelena nodded. She saw where an ambitious woman might take advantage of a man like that. A woman like Nina, one so insecure she couldn’t settle for only one man’s love.
“The pain of even a short separation is almost unbearable, and gods help him if she dies. He’ll wither and die too. Lucky for him women are generally longer-lived than men are.”
“And Nina wanted you bonded to her too.”
Drake nodded. “She wanted it the moment I proposed, but I wanted to do it right. A full bonding ceremony with our families and friends attending.”
“Thank the gods you held out.”
“Yeah, thank the gods,” he whispered, but his tone held no conviction. “Morgan discovered the truth. He found her lover and the man confessed everything. I guess I’d scared her, because she went to him that night to end their relationship. He was afraid of what would happen to him and tried to change her mind. When she refused, he killed her. He killed himself in his cell before his trial.”
Jelena remembered the words he’d whispered when she’d first met him, the curse someone had laid upon his head. “Did her family know about him?”
Drake shook his head. “When Morgan had the banishment decree lifted, they searched for me, wanted to bring me home themselves, but I already worked for Mandek. I didn’t want to be found.”
When he fell silent, turning his concentration on the path, she decided she’d pushed enough for now. She couldn’t expect him to sit and tell her everything that had happened during the course of his life, no matter how much she wanted to know.
She couldn’t help thinking that his talking to her, telling her these painful memories, would build his trust in her. If they parted ways when this ended, she didn’t want to be yet another memory of betrayal.
She was well aware that her attitude had completely changed from that of a few days ago, when she herself had called him worthless. When she’d been angry over being assigned to him.
Could he be more than an assignment to her?
She didn’t know.
Would Danon ever forgive her if she did?
After this morning, she didn’t believe that Drake had anything to do with Farran’s death, but she knew Danon wouldn’t be so easily convinced. Guilt by association would be enough to condemn him in Danon’s eyes.
Gods, why didn’t They send her to protect him before the banishment, when she could have done something to prevent all this from happening to him? Things could have been so different!
Drake stopped. “This is the place.”
She’d been so lost in her thoughts, she hadn’t realized that they’d come to the edge of the wood. It must have been visible for some time. “This is Faery Lake.” She turned to him. “I hadn’t realized that you had a destination in mind all a long.”
He shook his head. “Nothing specific. A feeling I needed to be somewhere.” He turned and gazed across the water. “Why this place?”
“If you stare into its depths, it will show you your heart’s desires.”
“You’ve been here before?” He stared into her eyes.
“Many times.”
“What did you see?”
She looked away.
“Ah, I see. Your mystery man.” Drake turned and strode toward the lake. He sighed, shaking his head. She was determined to believe he was a murdering bastard, and it was obvious that nothing he said would change that. After what he’d told her this morning, he’d thought—
That’s what you get for thinking.
“Drake—”
Not bothering to turn around, he held up his hand, stopping her excuses. “I know how it works. I’m expected to bare my soul to make you feel better about yourself, but I can’t get an answer to a simple question.”
“It’s not so simple.”
“Why is that?” He turned on her. “You think if you tell me about it, it won’t come true?”
“I’m afraid it will come true!”
He understood, suddenly, completely. His blood iced.
“For twelve years I dreamed of meeting you, and when that day finally came, I discovered you were a killer like the man who destroyed my brother’s life. What should I have done? Embraced you with open arms? Said, `you might be the man who killed my brother’s love, but hey, Destiny says your mine so let’s wed anyway’?”
“I guess you have nothing to worry about. When this mess is over, I’m gone.” His low hard tone made her flinch but right now he really didn’t care. She didn’t love him. Hell, she didn’t even like him. He’d be a fool to get in any deeper than he already was. He wouldn’t play the fool again. Once was quite enough.
“Destiny always has Her way,” she whispered. Her whipped-pup look tore right through his heart.
“I won’t be anyone’s pawn again, not even a god’s. I make my own destiny. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you out of it.” He stomped away from her, heading for the north side of the lake. Damn it. Falling in love with her had to be the stupidest thing he’d ever done.
“Tali, come back here.”
He ignored her.
“Drake!”
He’d gone only three paces when vines rose from the ground and twisted around his legs, stopping h
im in his tracks.
Clenching his jaw, he countered her spell, making them disappear. “Your tricks don’t work on me anymore.”
“I wouldn’t have to resort to tricks if you didn’t run off like a coward every time I say something you don’t like.”
He whirled around and cleared the distance between them in four strides. “What the hell do you want from me? You want to blame me for drekking up your brother’s life? Go ahead. If she died by an assassin’s hand, I probably am responsible.”
“Oh, yes, the Magician, lord of the assassins. The man who decides who lives or dies.” She jammed her hands on her hips. “You love it, don’t you? That nasty reputation keeps everyone terrified of you, and you use it to keep them at a distance.”
“Not everyone.” She wasn’t afraid of him, and he sure as hell didn’t want to keep her at a distance. She’d be surprised at just how close he wanted her. He stalked toward her, forcing her to retreat or strain her neck to glare at him.
“Do you think this is a joke?”
“I don’t have a sense of humor. Ice flows through my veins. I eat babies for mid-meal. I’m so heartless I hunted down my own father.” He counted each one off on his fingers. “Well, that one’s true. What else do they say about me?”
“You really don’t care about any of it, do you?”
“I told you, dwelling on the past does no one any good. You deal with it when it happens and move on. Or most of us do. You’re dug so deep in the past—mine, your brother’s, yours—that you can’t see the sun shining over your head. Get over it, Jelena.”
“How can you expect me to get over it when you haven’t done it yourself? You’ve dealt with some of it, yes, but you haven’t moved past it. It’s still waiting for you.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Your mother—”
Thunder rumbled above their heads.
“Leave off, Jelena. Leave off right now.” Drake backed out of reach, before he gave in to the urge to throttle her. He turned and strode away.
“Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn!” She stomped away in the other direction, venting her frustration in a scream that made his ears ring and the birds in the nearby trees take flight.
Real Magic Page 19
