“It’s just an adjustment.”
“A good one? Or a bad one?”
There wasn’t a simple answer to that question. “I’m not ready to try to love again.”
The frankness of his words were a shock to him as much as he was sure they were to Ralph.
“Getting over loss takes time. Just like falling in love takes time. I’d say you have plenty of both. Just make sure that’s what you’re doing…trying.”
They rode in silence for several minutes until Ralph brought up ranch related things, giving Dennis an easy way out of deeper conversation.
He didn’t want to think about trying to move past Maddie or trying to love Belle. He’d rather just ignore both things and focus on work, so that’s what he’d do.
Chapter 4
Belle straightened her shirtwaist in the wavy mirror then patted her hair, making sure it was secure. She was nervous. It felt foolish, but the feelings had welled up inside of her and all of Dennis’s talk of making sure everything was perfect worried her even more. She hardly knew Dennis and yet she’d have to play his perfect wife and mother to Minnie.
At least that part would be easy. Minnie was the one bright spot in Belle’s day. The little girl was bright and seemingly unharmed from living with Dennis.
Belle cringed at her uncharitable thoughts. Dennis wasn’t a bad person exactly, he was just…troubled.
And yet, part of that brokenness drew her to him. It was completely foreign to her, but she wanted to mend the hurt he obviously felt. There was no chance she would be able to though, not with the crew of men who would be coming and the actives that had been planned. From rides around the property, a picnic, special dinners, and a women’s teatime, she knew she would be busy.
But maybe, just maybe, she’d get a chance to talk with Dennis. To prod ever so gently into the hurt he felt to see if it was ever possible he could let some of it go. If he could, she wondered if that would change their relationship.
Cook knocked at the door calling out, “They’re here.”
One last look in the mirror and a few pinches to her cheeks to make them look rosy and she walked downstairs.
Dennis stood at the bottom waiting for her and the look on his face nearly stopped her. It was a mixture of surprise and appreciation. So her new dress had been a wise decision. It was blue and would bring out her eyes, or at least that’s what Cook had said.
“You look…nice.” His words came out slightly strangled and she wondered if it was so difficult for him to say something nice. Then she chided herself again for her inhospitable thoughts.
“Thank you.” She wanted to compliment him on his attire, a fine suit in a rich, dark color that brought out the deepness of his complexion, but she pressed her lips together. He had already turned away, to look down at Minnie.
“And you, my dear, look positively stunning!”
“Thanks Daddy,” she said, wrapping her arms around his legs and squeezing with all her might.
“Now remember,” he said, looking at them both, “This is a very important meeting. Please be on your best behavior.”
Thankfully he directed the last portion of his words toward his daughter but Belle couldn’t help but think he’d meant them for her as well. She wanted to remind him that she was a lady, but the door opened, sending golden sunlight into the room along with boisterous and loud conversation.
The day flew by in quick succession but Belle found that it was easier than she’d expected to portray the doting wife. It wasn’t that she was acting, but she made an effort to be near Dennis, to engage in conversation when she could, and to be the gracious host. Several times she caught Dennis watching her as she interacted with the businessmen and she hoped that he was proud of her.
At the end of the evening they all said goodnight, standing in the large main room, and Belle tried her best not to stiffen when Dennis came up next to her and dropped his hand to her waist as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
The conversation continued around her but all of her focus was on the warmth at her back and the feeling of closeness and connection she felt to him.
***
Dennis made sure his guests were happily situated, the three men and their wives in the guest rooms he was now happy he had. The house had seemed so large when they had bought it, but now he saw what Maddie had. She’d always been the visionary.
He paused in the hall, frowning. This was the first time a memory of Maddie didn’t bring bitterness with it. Shaking his head, he turned to make his way to his room but knocked over a vase on the table. Before he could catch it, the glass vessel landed on the floor with a thud and broke into several pieces.
Groaning, he went to pick them up but sliced a gash in his palm. He bit back a curse and, after more carefully collecting the rest of the glass and disposing of it, made his way downstairs to the kitchen to search for a rag for his bloody hand.
Belle whirled around from the counter where she’d stood with her back to the door. Her eyes were wide in surprise but instantly they fell to his hand and she gasped.
“Are you all right? What happened?”
“I’m fine,” he growled. “Just sliced my hand on a broken vase.
“Let me help you clean and bandage it.”
He was about to protest but seeing as it was his right hand and he was right handed, he wasn’t sure he would do a good job. He fell silent and she retrieved cloth and a wet rag.
She set to work diligently cleaning the wound but when she touched another cloth to it the sting jolted up his arm and he cried out, yanking it away.
“What is that?” he demanded.
“Calm down,” she said, rather straightforwardly. “It’s alcohol. We need to properly clean the cut.”
He frowned but she gently pulled his hand back, shooting him a look before she bent over the cut again. He almost laughed at the stubborn look she’d given him. It was adorable.
The thought caught him off guard, but it was true. When she was stubborn and stood up to him, he found her determination endearing. If he wasn’t so overbearing…
“How is that?” she asked, leaning back to look at him.
He turned his hand over, admiring her careful, tidy work. She really was amazing. She’d put up with his grouchy moods, talked with the businessmen and their wives like she had been born to it, and looked after Minnie with such tenderness.
“Is it bad?”
He blinked, realizing he hadn’t answered her. She was seeking his approval, something that caused his stomach to feel warm. “It’s great. Perfect. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, smiling. She picked up the bandage supplies and put everything away. His eyes trailed after her, admiring her curves and realizing that her hair was hanging down in a long braid instead of piled high on her head. It was thick, the light brown color of her hair reminding him of stalks of wheat. How had he missed that before?
“You did well today,” he said.
He could tell his comment surprised her but he wasn’t sorry he’d said it.
“I know how important this is for you.” She stood in front of him, leaning her hip against the tall counter. The look in her light blue eyes spoke of openness.
Without realizing it, he leaned toward her. Her soft intake of breath from surprised him and made his pulse race. He reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, marveling at just how soft it felt, then he dropped his hand to rest on her upper arm.
She felt warm under his touch and his stomach clenched. He wanted to kiss her, to pull her into his arms and push past the awkwardness of their first few weeks of marriage and the pain of Maddie’s death and—
Maddie’s name in his mind was like a splash of cold water on his heated emotions. He dropped his arm and stepped back.
“Thank you for—uh, for the bandage.” He staggered back then left the room, putting as much distance between them as possible.
Chapter 5
Belle felt the exh
austion of the week wearing on her. They wives of the business men were sweet women, but it was a lot of work to entertain them and be cheerful and happy the whole time when all she really wanted was a moment by herself to process her feelings for Dennis.
They were in the sunroom enjoying tea and scones as the men were out on the ranch somewhere, likely riding horses and talking about the price of cattle. The women had ventured into various different subjects though they continued to come back to their children. Minnie was with Cook, but as the women talked Belle realized she felt as if Minnie was her own. In some ways that was true, but in others it was a lie.
Dora, the wife sitting closest to her, turned to her as the other ladies talked. “You and Minnie look so similar.” She smiled sweetly but Belle felt a knot of anxiety in her chest. She didn't want to lie to this woman but it was getting dangerously close to that territory.
Her thoughts flitted back to Dennis and how much he felt the future of the ranch rested on this whole week. But to be stuck between lies and their future was extremely difficult.
“Dear?” Dora said, “Did I say something wrong?”
“Oh, um, no,” she said. The words weren’t convincing though.
“You seem…” she searched for the word, “Upset.”
“It’s not that.” Belle shot a look at the other ladies who were deep in conversation about childbirth pains and decided to be up front with the woman. She cared about the ranch’s future and she cared about Dennis, more than she’d realized, but she couldn’t lie. “Minnie isn’t actually my daughter.”
Dora’s eyes widened. “What?”
Taking a deep breath, Belle told Dora the story of how she’d come to the ranch. She made sure that the woman understood Dennis hadn’t asked her to hide the truth out of a malicious or evil nature; he was just so committed to his work that he wanted everything to go smoothly.
“Well, dear,” Dora said, smiling and resting her hand on top of Belle’s, “I’ll keep these things in confidence and I’ll keep you in my prayers.”
Belle felt overwhelmed by the woman’s kindness but relieved as well. It was nice to have someone besides Minnie and Cook to talk to.
“What about you Belle?” one of the other women said, breaking into their conversation. “Tell us about your Minnie’s birth. I’m sure Dennis afforded the best doctor for you,” the woman added. She was constantly talking about how her husband didn’t care enough for her.
Belle reddened, not knowing what to say when Dora spoke up. “Oh ladies, let’s change the subject. Those days are long gone and probably better left in the past. Let’s talk about that beautiful dress you’re wearing Agnes. Did you make it yourself?” The women accepted her change in topic easily and Belle sent her a grateful look as the conversation switched to dressmaking and fabrics.
Belle felt the weight of the half-truths resting on her though. Dora knew the truth but the rest of these women didn’t. It wasn’t fair to them, and yet it wasn’t fully her choice. She’d just pray that she hadn’t ruined things for Dennis.
***
Dennis adjusted his cravat and straightened his vest. Tonight was the big night. The dinner where Thomas Sullivan would announce his decision about the merger. Would he back Dennis? Would they join forces and grow their individual business to a size neither of them could likely imagine? He hoped so, but he was still worried.
Overall the week had gone well. The men seemed entertained, the wives were happy under Belle’s direction, and when they were all together they got along splendidly, but was that enough?
Business was more than fun and games. Business was, well…business. He was sure Thomas saw it that way. Though, every time Dennis had tried to bring up more of the hard facts about the business the man had turned his attention to some other meaningless things. Maybe that was just the way he did business though.
Shaking his head, Dennis walked out into the hall in search of Belle. He wanted to check in with her before the dinner to make sure all arrangements had been made.
He knocked on her door and waited. When she opened it his breath caught. She looked beautiful in a deep green brocade dress with her hair floating all around her shoulders. It looked as if she was in just about to pin it up but for a brief moment he wanted to throw caution and all other thoughts to the wind and pull her into his arms so he could run his fingers through it.
“Dennis?” she asked.
He blinked out of his thoughts and forced a half smile. “Um, I was just checking in with you about dinner. To see if everything is ready.”
She frowned and worry immediately clenched in his stomach. Was something wrong?
“Come in for a moment.”
He almost said no, and then realized how foolish it was. They were married. It was fully appropriate for a husband to be in his wife’s room.
“What is it?” he asked, concern taking over.
“I—” she bit her lip and her brow furrowed. Clearly something was wrong.
Fighting his impatience, he tried to keep his tone even. “Please, tell me what’s happened.”
“I told Dora the truth.”
Her words landed on him like a hammer against a blacksmith’s anvil. “You what?”
“I’m sorry. I tried to find a way around it but I couldn’t lie to her.”
“How could you do this?” His voice dropped low but still held its intensity. “You could have singlehandedly ruined this entire week with your careless words.”
“They weren’t careless—they were the truth! Something you’ve all but forbade me from saying. I can’t believe—” she cut her words off. “Never mind. I just wanted to tell you and say that I’m sorry. Not for telling the truth, but for any effects it could have. Though she did assure me she would keep my confidence.”
His pulse thundered at his neck and he felt the urge to cry out in frustration. If her words harmed this deal—he cut off his own thoughts. That remained to be seen in this moment. All he could do was forge ahead and hope that Belle hadn’t put an end to all of the hard work he’d put into this week.
Turning from her he shook his head. “I hope that she does.” Then he walked out of the room without another glance.
***
Belle sunk onto the bed, dropping her head to her hands. Dennis had responded exactly how’d she expected, though a small part of her had hoped that he wouldn’t. That he would be understanding. Of course that had been a foolish hope. She realized that now. He acted like a beast at times and, though he had soft spots, they were rarely seen.
Her anger threatened to rise up, but a thought calmed her. He was responding out of fear—fear that this week would be for naught, fear that he wouldn’t be able to provide for Minnie, fear that his secrets would be found out.
Could she blame him? He had lost so much already and now the one thing he could hold on to was being threatened. A wave of compassion washed over her and she let go of a breath. There was only one thing she could do, and she felt the prompting was from God, not from her own mind.
She would talk with Thomas Sullivan, Dora’s husband, and try and convince him of her husband’s worthiness as a businessman. It was the only thing she could do.
Chapter 6
Dennis chewed a bit of food then swallowed, not tasting anything at all. His thoughts were scattered every which way and it was all he could do to stay seated without getting up and pacing back and forth as an outlet for his nervous energy.
Thomas had made it abundantly clear that he wanted to enjoy the dinner and then, when the men retired to the porch to smoke cigars and enjoy their drinks, they would discuss business. Dennis shouldn’t have been surprised. This was obviously how Thomas liked to do business, but part of him was disappointed. He wanted to know about the man’s decision—and he wanted to know now.
He pushed his childish thoughts away as his gaze collided with Belle’s for a moment. She held his gaze then looked away and he felt the pain he’d caused her. He had blown up at her while she had only bee
n trying to be honest with him.
Fixing his gaze on his plate, he allowed the truth to sink in. He cared for her. Despite how he’d acted, he had started to see her in a completely different light. She charmed Thomas and the other men, she maneuvered easily around their wives, and she loved Minnie as if she were her own.
Even now he watched as Belle leaned over and whispered into his daughter’s ear. They both giggled quietly and he felt his heart warm. She was exactly the kind of mother Minnie needed and—if he would allow himself—the kind of wife he needed.
Thoughts of Maddie were still present, but the more time he spent around Belle the more they faded. Not in fondness or even love, but in potency. He wasn’t debilitated by them anymore.
He was lucky to have married a woman like Belle.
And yet how had he treated her? Angrily and without understanding. He needed to apologize to her. Before he could do anything, Thomas stood up at the head of the table and all eyes flew to him.
“Attention, everyone. Quite please.” The conversation died away and he smiled at the rapt attention. “First of all, I want to say thank you to Dennis for hosting us this week.”
Dennis felt everyone’s appreciative glances turn his way and he dipped his head in a show of humbleness. “It was our pleasure to have you.”
“I also want to share a story with you all, in the hopes of being frank and open. As you know, I view us as family.” The man’s gaze drilled into Dennis’s. “And when a member of the family is in pain, it hurts us all.”
Dennis felt his heartbeat pick up its pace. Where was this coming from? What was he talking about?
“I think that, more than anything, your commitment to us as potential partners has been grievously understated. I was told by your lovely wife of the fact that your previous wife had passed away last year.” Gasps went up around the table and his eyes flitted to Belle who kept her head down. “I don’t say that to share your personal news, but I want everyone here to know the sacrifice you made. You kept the burden of your pain from us in order to put the business first, and as much as I recognize that and admire you for your choices, I want to call us all to something greater.”
[2016] A Bride's Journey Page 31
