Trinity was slightly offended by the statement, but she didn’t say anything else. There was nothing more to say, beyond pressing Thomas for more information, but she didn’t get the impression that he wanted to give any more information. This caused her to think of him as a con man all the more, but she told herself not to worry about it.
As soon as you get to Oregon, you won’t have anything to worry about. Just keep an eye on your trunk and make sure he stays out of it, and you will be fine.
The two had to change from train to stagecoach, making their journey slower and a lot less comfortable. Trinity had heard rumors that they would soon connect the railroad from one end of the country to the other, but she hadn’t been so lucky as to see that with her own eyes.
Not just yet anyway.
She had slept for several hours on the train, so now she was wide awake, watching the scenery rumble past out her window. The stagecoach felt rickety and dangerous compared to the train, but Trinity told herself that was simply because she had never ridden in either one before, and of course the train would feel safer.
Thomas was asleep on the seat opposite her, and she was glad. It was getting difficult for the two of them to think of things to talk about, and the silences were growing longer and more awkward, not to mention more frequent. They had been on their way for nearly a week now, and Trinity was tired of the travel.
She tried to think about Emmett as they bounced along, but she had little to go on for her imagination to work with. Part of her thought it would be a bad idea to imagine, in case she were to imagine someone a lot more charming and better looking than Emmett really was, but part of her wanted something to look forward to, and a reason to keep pressing onward.
Towns came, and towns went, each one looking much the same was the one before, but the scenery was changing. Where the flat prairies had stretched on and on, now mountains rose and took their place. There were rivers and ravines now, not to mention all kinds of pine trees. Thomas chattered on mindlessly now, giving Trinity hope they were almost to their destination.
“We will be there before the day is out. I hope you are ready.”
“Will Emmett be there to meet me?”
“Yes, I sent a wire ahead the morning we left, so he knows your coming. I’m sure he is looking forward to it, and has made all necessary arrangements.”
Trinity looked at Thomas with questioning eyes. He was looking out the window, but when he turned to her, he raised his eyebrows and replied.
“The preacher isn’t often in town, and I’m sure you will want to get the ceremony out of the way right away. Emmett will get that lined up, not to mention getting the house ready. It’s quite an adjustment adding an entire new person into the house, I’m sure.”
“Oh.”
Trinity didn’t know what else to say, so she turned her attention back out the window. She hadn’t thought of it before, but today was going to be her wedding day. Of course she knew she was going to be marrying Emmett, after all, that was the whole reason she came out west, but she hadn’t really thought about the wedding ceremony until now.
As a child, she had always thought she would get married, but she never thought it was going to be like this. Then again, Trinity wasn’t sure what she had thought it was going to be like. Growing up, all the girls had listened to Ashley plan her wedding, but few of them ever really thought of their own.
I suppose Ashley would turn red with jealousy if she knew I was going to be married before she is. And I had to come all the way to Oregon for my wedding dress… and my entire wedding.
Chapter 5 – Emmett Crow
As the stagecoach pulled into town, Trinity craned her neck to see the people gathered around. She had no idea what Emmett looked like, besides the fact he was short with brown hair. Trinity glanced over the crowd, but she didn’t see anyone she thought to be remarkably short.
“That’s him. That’s Emmett.”
Thomas pointed to a man that was near the side of the platform. Trinity was relieved at how normal and kind he looked. She was somewhat nervous after meeting Thomas that she was being taken away to some kind of circus, but the sight of Emmett melted her fears away.
Her parting with Thomas was short and to the point. Emmett thanked him for accompanying his bride, and paid him what Thomas said was due, then Thomas made an elaborate bow to the both of them, and took his leave. Once they were alone, Trinity suddenly felt nervous.
“You aren’t what I expected you to be… in a good way, of course.”
She felt embarrassed right after she said it, but Emmett laughed.
“I don’t know what you were expecting, but I am glad to exceed your expectations. In a good way, of course.”
He mimicked the same way she had phrased it, and Trinity laughed along with him. It felt good to laugh, and he held his arm out to her. They were making their way to the church, to meet the preacher. The more they chatted, the more Trinity felt she could be at home here. There was an instant connection she felt to Emmett, and that was something that was rare for her.
By the time they had gotten to the church, Emmett had explained to her how he had set up her own room for her, across the house from his own. He hoped that didn’t make her feel unwelcome, but there was simply no other place to put her for now. He also described to her the animals he owned, as well as the basic chores he hoped she could do around the house.
Trinity liked Emmett. He was a little older than she had pictured. He hadn’t said his age in the ad, and she hadn’t asked Thomas. Trinity had to admit she assumed he was going to be close to her age, but in reality he was about ten years older.
When Trinity first realized this, she thought it may be a bit of a concern, but in no time at all she realized Emmett was so different from any other man she had ever met, those few years between them weren’t going to make any difference to her at all.
Emmet was kind, and he was funny. From the beginning it was clear that he was a gentleman, and he knew how to treat a woman properly.
She liked the way he said things, in a straight forward, open way. There was no beating around the bush, there was no shame. He was very clear with her, yet charming. Their ceremony was very short and had only a few people attending, but that was ok with Trinity.
Though she had always assumed she would be in a grand wedding, she was perfectly content with the wedding she had. So much in life was different than what she imagined it would be, and now she was ready for things to settle into a new normal. Into a normal that she could enjoy.
They stopped at the general store after the ceremony. Emmett said he needed to grab a few things to take back home, and he wanted to treat his new bride to something she liked. Inside, he told her to pick out anything she liked, whether it be dishes, a dress, or even just some candy. Anything she wanted, he wanted to get for her.
Trinity looked over the shelves, unsure of what to pick out. She liked candy, but candy was so common. She liked the dresses they had on the shelves, but they looked so rustic compared to what she was used to seeing, she wasn’t quite sure she was ready to dress the way the locals did.
Finally, Trinity settled on a little porcelain figurine. It was a young lady in a pink dress, she was holding in one hand a basket full of flowers, and in her other hand, she held a small dog. It was a beautiful little figure, and Trinity fell in love with it immediately.
The clerk wrapped the figurine in newspaper before carefully packing it into a box, and Trinity insisted on carrying the box on her lap on the ride home. The wagon they rode in was far less tedious than the stage coach, but there were still bumps and jolts in the road, and Trinity didn’t want to risk her doll breaking on anything on the way.
The farmhouse was small, just as Emmett had described, with a barn off to the westward side. There was a cow in the barnyard, and chickens milling about the entire area. Trinity fell in love with everything about it.
“I can see us becoming a real family here! Think of it… why, there’s already
a swing in that tree!”
Trinity laughed as she pointed over to the large oak behind the barn. Emmett cleared his throat but said nothing. Trinity looked up at him inquisitively, but he was guiding the horses into the yard around the chickens.
He put the brake on the wagon and walked around the side to help Trinity off the side. She laughed as he helped her down, then followed him into the house. He threw open the door and Trinity stopped short.
“Daddy!”
“Hey there, Sweetie, how are you?”
Emmett scooped up the child in his arms, and tossed her above his head, then caught her again. The girl squealed and kicked her legs, then looked over Emmet’s shoulder at Trinity, and her eyes widened.
“Is that my new mommy?”
She pointed, and Emmet turned around.
“Yes it is, Sweetheart. Trinity, I’d like you to meet Maddie… my daughter.”
Chapter 6 – Motherhood
The days to follow were unlike any that Trinity could have imagined. She thought she was coming out here to marry a widower with a farm. That was what she had been expecting, and that was what she had essentially done. Yet, the one little detail Emmett had left out of his ad, and the one little detail Thomas had left out of is description of Emmet, happened to be the biggest detail of all.
Trinity had never thought about what motherhood would be like, and now that she was taking on that role, she wasn’t at all sure she was ready. She had been good at helping Mrs. Graham, but Mrs. Graham had told her what to do, with a child, Trinity was the one that was supposed to have the answers.
“Why didn’t you tell me you have a child?”
She couldn’t hold back the question any longer. It had been nearly a month, and Emmet had acted since the first day as though marrying someone without telling them you had a child was the most natural thing in the world. Then again, moving all the way across the country to marry a man you have never met wasn’t entirely natural, either.
“What’s wrong? Aren’t you getting along?”
Emmet was drinking his morning coffee, getting ready to head out to the fields. Trinity was washing the breakfast dishes, but Maddie wasn’t out of bed yet. She was young, too young to be attending school, which meant Trinity spent a lot of time with her during the day.
“We get along just fine, but…”
Her voice trailed off, and Emmet stood up. He walked over to her, and pulled her away from the wash basin, wrapping his arms around her.
“What’s wrong, my Love?”
Trinity couldn’t help it. The tears formed in her eyes and brimmed over, running down her cheeks and leaving wet trails on Emmet’s shirt. He hushed her, and rocked her in his arms, trying to soothe her.
“What’s wrong with Mommy?”
A voice came from the edge of the kitchen, and Trinity pulled away from Emmet. She didn’t know how she felt about Maddie calling her that. She wasn’t Maddie’s mother, and she didn’t feel right about it. Trinity grew up without a mother or a father. She didn’t call anyone by those names. She didn’t have any.
Now, with this little girl, she didn’t feel that it was right, either. Trinity wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands, and dried them on her apron.
“Nothing’s wrong, Sweetie, your father and I were just talking. Come, here’s some eggs and bacon waiting for you.”
Trinity pulled the cast iron lid off of the plate on the table. She had left it there to keep warm for Maddie, and was pleased to see that it still had steam rising off of it.
“Yay!”
Maddie ran over in her bare feet and climbed up on the chair. She said a quick prayer of thanks as her father had taught her to do, and began to enjoy her breakfast. Emmett looked helplessly from Maddie to Trinity, then back at Maddie. It was clear he didn’t know whether to stay or leave…but the chores needed doing.
He kissed Trinity on the cheek and Maddie on the forehead, then told them both he hoped they had a good day. With that, he was gone. Trinity finished washing up the dishes, keeping an eye on Maddie, but not saying much. Maddie finished her breakfast, then took some of her dolls outside to play.
Trinity stood by the window in the kitchen, looking out at the little girl playing in the dirt with her dolls. There was so much about that little girl that reminded Trinity of herself. So much that she could relate to. But this little girl knew what it was like to belong. She knew what it was like to have a father, and a mother even, though her mother had passed away.
This little girl seemed to be so much happier than Trinity had ever been, or felt like she could be. There was something so innocent, and so accepting about Maddie that made Trinity feel confused inside. She didn’t know what to feel.
She knew she wanted to be happy, but she wasn’t sure if she was happy here. It was definitely better than back in Vermont in some ways, but there were things in Vermont that she missed.
I can’t go back there and be Mrs. Graham’s seamstress again. I just can’t. As a matter of fact, if I go back, I am going to have to live in a different town all together. I can’t go back to being that poor orphaned girl that grew up to help the old widow of the town…
But no matter what I do when I get back… I’ll be back. Olga will be there, though I am sure she is quite caught up with Peter now. At least I’ll be home.
Trinity hardly even realized she was considering going back to Vermont until that very moment, and at that moment she was startled with herself at how much she was willing to go back. In fact, she had very nearly made the decision to go back, she just didn’t know where she wanted to be in Vermont.
Maddie ran inside and headed to her room, calling out something about her dolls. Trinity said nothing. She felt nothing. She didn’t belong here, she belonged back in Vermont with the people that had known her for her whole life. Emmett was a very kind man, and Maddie was a sweet little girl, but they needed someone that belonged with them. Someone that knew how to be a family.
Trinity didn’t know how to do that. All she knew was how to sew clothes and help the needy at the church.
“I have to go back to where I belong… this family deserves a real mother.”
Trinity whispered the words to herself, but hearing them out loud was enough. Her mind was made up, she just had to plan out when she was going to head back.
And how she was going to break the news to Maddie and Emmett.
Chapter 7 – Turning Around
“If this rain keeps up, I am going to be out of a job.”
Emmett joked the next morning as he looked out at the rain pounding against the window. He had been spending much of the past few weeks plowing the upper fields, getting them ready for planting, but the rain made it impossible to keep footing on the slippery hillsides, so he had to call it quits until the rain stopped.
Trinity enjoyed having Emmett in the house with her, and so did Maddie. She still hadn’t said anything to either of them about her leaving… Trinity figured she would just slip out when she had the chance, and leave them a letter explaining what she had done. She had even gone so far as to make the letter last night. Now, she was going to hang onto it and wait for the right time to leave it out.
With Emmett in the house all day, Trinity didn’t know if she would find the right moment. Although he spent most of his time plying with Maddie, they were both still around, which made it difficult to know when to place it.
Maddie was close with her father, and spent every second she could following him around or sitting on his lap. She would bring all of her dolls out from her room and relentlessly pester Emmett until he gave in and played with her.
“Daddy! Daddy! If you don’t have to work outside, can we play dolls? Can we? Pretty please?”
Emmett laughed at his daughter as she tugged on his shirt, then he bent down and hoisted her up to look out the window with him. Maddie got bored with looking at the rain, and again pestered him to play with her. Finally, Emmett gave in and told her to go get her toys.
Trinit
y wasn’t ever openly invited to play along with them. Deep down inside, she knew she would have been welcome to join in, but she also didn’t want to intrude. Maddie didn’t get to see her father a lot with all of the work that needed to be done, and since Trinity was inside the house to watch her, he spent much of his time outdoors, working on various activities.
Trinity didn’t mind sitting back and watching the two of them play. She would often grab some mending that needed to be done, or occasionally a needlework, though it was rare for her to work on needlework projects. She felt she had spent enough of her life sewing, and she didn’t want to volunteer too much of her time working on projects that didn’t need doing.
There were times, however, when Trinity did wish Maddie would entertain herself. Trinity didn’t get a lot of time with Emmett, either, and she felt she got even less time with him than Maddie got. Of course she knew Maddie was his daughter first and foremost, but she wanted to get to know her husband, and it was difficult when he spent all of this time indoors playing games with Maddie.
I’m sure they spent a lot of time playing together when it was just the two of them, but I need to have him to myself sometimes, too. How am I supposed to get to know him if I can’t ever have a few minutes with him without Maddie interrupting?
Of course, I don’t know how to bring this up to him, either. He adores her, as well he should, but I wasn’t prepared for this when I moved out here, and I’m not sure I’m prepared for it now.
The more she thought about it, the less Trinity wanted to bring it up to him. It seemed to her like she would appear to be whining or complaining, and those were two things she certainly never did. She wasn’t about to start now… Trinity had gotten herself into this, she was going to get herself back out of it.
“Daddy, I’m hungry… when are we going to have dinner?”
[2016] A Bride's Journey Page 51
