by T. Styles
I never looked at Camp like he was a nigger. I never focused on our color differences even though it was obvious. But here I was going for the lowest blow I could find.
He backed away from me and sat on the edge of the bed. He placed his forearms on his thighs and looked out ahead of him. Not at me or anything in particular, he was just staring. Whenever he did this it wasn’t good.
“In a month, when everything here blows over I’m going to leave,” he said. “And get a place of my own.”
I remained silent while he continued to destroy my world.
“And when I find a place I’m going to file for divorce.” He looked down at me.
I crawled to his feet and grabbed a hold of his ankles. “Camp, please don’t do this to me. I didn’t mean what I said. I didn’t mean to call you a nigger but you hurt my feelings. And you do it to me all the time. I was just saying shit to make you mad.”
He stood up and walked away from me. “I know, Scarlett. And I’m sorry I put my hands on you. Even though we have our problems I should’ve never stooped so low. You should know that I’m going to be a good father to my son, and he’ll never want for anything as long as I’m alive. But we’re through.”
“But why, Camp? Give me one good reason! I know it’s something else. I can tell by looking into your eyes.”
He focused on me with a lot of intensity. “Because I’m in love with another woman,” he responded.
I released his legs. Now I understood.
“I fell in love with her before we left for LA,” he continued. “I met her when you and I were fighting.”
My mouth hung because I didn’t see this coming.
“She helped me and my brothers get away because she knew some people in LA and our bond became tighter. She was the one who reported to us that it was cool to come back. When we got back home I tried to deny my feelings for her because you and I were still married. I wanted so badly to work on my family and just seeing you with Master and how you took care of him made me love you and want to work things out. But I realize that although I love you I’m not in love with you anymore. I’m sorry.”
As if he didn’t just ruin my heart he grabbed his wallet and his keys. “I’m coming back in the morning.” He walked out of the room.
My world would never be the same. It was one thing for us to be together and have problems, but it was a different story if another woman was involved. I felt like I couldn’t compete. Was she black? Was she white? Was she prettier? Was she younger or older?
Slowly I pulled myself up. I went to the bathroom and washed the tears off of my face along with the makeup I wore just for him. When I was done I slid out of the pink nightgown. I slipped into a baby blue velour sweat suit and my Ugg boots. When I dressed, I grabbed my purse and went into the other room to get Master who was fast asleep.
I walked outside, put him in his car seat and drove to the gas station. I filled up the tank and drove for miles and miles. I rode in the direction of Virginia until I couldn’t drive anymore. When the tank was almost empty I happened upon a set of row homes. I knew the address well.
I parked the car and walked around the back. I grabbed the car seat and closed the car door. I walked up the steps, knocked on the door and left Master on the porch.
I got back in my car and pulled off.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
RACE
I had a long night and all I wanted to do was rest. Earlier today I delivered the mask I had been creating for a movie production company and they loved it. They tried to give me a check for my services but I left. I told them it was a gift. That might not have been the best thing to do but it wasn’t about money for me. If I didn’t do my art I would be done. It was my passion.
I opened the door to the cottage, locked it and threw my purse down on the table. “Ramirez”, I yelled into the house. When he didn’t answer I flung my keys on the table. “Bambi, Melo, Noah!”
It’s funny. The rule was that nobody was to leave the house yet everybody stayed out. I’m sure security was following them though. I had one tailing me too. Denim had been gone for days and nobody knew where she went. It looked like Scarlett, Bambi and the fellas weren’t home either. I guess being up in this cottage for weeks on end was wearing on all of us. I know it did on me. I was starting to get sick of my family. I was starting to get sick of everybody.
It didn’t help that Carey told me she was pregnant by my husband. I was so embarrassed that I didn’t tell anybody, not even Bambi and the girls. Although Carey said she wanted the abortion I’d seen shit like this happen before. What was to stop her from keeping the baby and extorting us for money? This shit was all too confusing. I didn’t tell Ramirez about it because I wanted time to sort things out. Plus there was another reason. A much deeper one.
Six months after Ramirez and I were married we decided to ditch the condoms and stop using birth control. We made a decision to have a baby and to try real hard. There was nothing in the world I wanted more than to be a mother so there were a few things I decided to do right away.
The first thing I did was stop drinking. At that time Bambi wasn’t allowed to have alcohol so there wasn’t any in the house anyway. Next, I started fucking Ramirez every day. Outside of Bambi and Kevin nobody else was fucking more than Ramirez and me. We were loud and all over the house and I loved our lives during those times.
While we were trying to conceive I did my best to relax and to take it easy. But a year later after fucking him every day we still hadn’t conceived. I saw the look of frustration in his eyes when I failed him. He never said it out of his mouth but I knew he looked at me like less of a woman and it never sat well with me.
So, when we went to the strip club one day and saw Carey dancing on the pole I felt like she was the answer to my prayers. She was fun, attractive and interested in both of us. When we met Carey it was the first time we didn’t think about having a baby. So we traded our baby hopes for excitement by inviting Carey into our bed.
To this day I don’t think we would still be married if Carey hadn’t come into our lives.
When I made it to my bedroom I didn’t open the door right away because I heard two voices. I took the gun out of the back of my pants and placed my ear against the door. The cool wood pressed against my ear as I heard soft giggling.
Confused I opened the door and walked into my room. And there she was, Carey, sitting on the edge of my bed giggling with Ramirez.
“Hey,” she smiled as she reached her hand out to me. “Come over here. We were just talking about you.”
My eyes rolled from her to Ramirez. “What is she doing here?” I asked him sternly.
He grinned. “What’s wrong, Race?”
“What the fuck is she doing here?” I said more angrily as I stepped further into my room.
“She said she talked to you and—”
I raised my gun and shot her in the head. Her flesh splattered against the red comforter on the bed and the black lamp on the nightstand. The smoke from the barrel floated over my head and drifted away, leaving a smell of gunpowder in the air.
Ramirez’s eyes widened as he looked at me and then back at her. The bitch was dead.
I killed her for two reasons. First I couldn’t deal with this situation anymore. It was too confusing. Did I love her? Did I love him? Did I want her to myself? Did I want my marriage to work? Only God knew the answer so I sent her to him.
The second reason I killed her was to see where Ram’s heart lay. Did he love me or did he love both of us in the same way? I needed to know. And as he sat on the bed holding her limp body in his arms I had my answer. He cared about both of us equally and that would never do for me. I needed to always be first.
****
Ramirez and I sat on the naked mattress. The sheets and the comforter had all been burned in our backyard. Carey’s body rested under the dirt inside of the ground along with the baby she was carrying. And Ramirez would never know that she was pregnant with his love
child.
It’s a good thing nobody was home. Because they would’ve been involved in a problem that Ramirez and I caused. We needed to deal with her dead body alone. She was our property and our responsibility.
As we sat in the room, looking at the walls, we hadn’t said a word to one another. I think we both were holding out to see who would speak first and I knew it wouldn’t be me.
“Why did you do that?” he asked looking over at me. “Why, baby?”
“Do what?” I responded staring at the hardwood floor as if I had no idea of what he was talking about.
I couldn’t look directly into his eyes. But from my peripheral vision I could tell he was crying and that made me hate him even more. He looked pitiful and just the sight of him dried my pussy up.
“So you’re going to play games now?” he asked.
“She was an object but she didn’t know it,” I said calmly. “You shouldn’t be so upset, Ramirez. Another one can be purchased for much cheaper.”
“Fuck is that supposed to mean?”
I turned my head to look at him. I could tell he was distraught and I found him weak in that moment. Where was the husband who was supposed to care for me? Where was the man who, up to this moment, had always been so strong? Where was he?
“It means that we made a mistake. She was never supposed to be loved yet you fell hard for her.”
“And you didn’t?” he yelled.
“You don’t know me anymore do you? You came back into my life and you can’t see that I’ve changed. I don’t view love the way I used to, Ramirez. I’m about facts, guns and money and Carey compromised everything I believed. She had to go.”
“I don’t know what the fuck you talking about.”
“Then hear me clearly now. I want a divorce.”
His eyebrows rose. “You want a divorce?” He asked angrily. “After what we just went through together? You saying you don’t love me no more?”
“I just killed the one person in the world you loved and you never once asked me how I felt. So tell me this. Why would I want to stay your wife?”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
BAMBI
I’m sitting on a red plastic chair next to Race in the waiting area at a Maryland jail. When Race showed up, the bottoms of her butter colored Timberlands were covered in brown dirt. And I’d been around gunpowder enough to smell its slight scent even after it’s been hours since a trigger was pulled. She had just killed.
When I asked her what happened she said she did what she had to and since I was covered in secrets I respected her privacy for the moment.
“I’m here for you,” I told her. “If you got the saw I’ll bring the knife and we’ll get it done.”
“I know,” she winked at me.
As we sat down in the waiting area I kept looking at the entrance. I was hoping Scarlett would come because I left her a message on her voicemail. Race said she heard Scarlett and Camp fighting a few nights back so I figured they were having problems too. I didn’t know what the fuck was going on with my family. Everything was falling apart.
When the Kennedy name was finally called Race and I stood up. I had no idea why Bradley was in jail but I was going to find out. We followed the guard to the back of the jail and toward a glass window. We sat down and I picked up the phone and two minutes later Bradley appeared in an orange jumpsuit.
He picked up the phone and took a seat. Although he was still handsome, he looked bad. Small bags rested under his eyes and it seemed as if he hadn’t slept in days.
“Hey,” he said looking between Race and me. “Thanks for coming.”
I gripped the phone tightly. Since I hadn’t seen Denim I was hoping that this dude didn’t tell me he killed my sister. If he did he was better off right where he was.
“What’s going on, Bradley?” I asked him. “Why you in here?”
“Have you found my wife?”
“What the fuck are you doing in jail?” Race said even though she didn’t have a phone. She was probably nervous too.
I looked at Bradley and waited on his answer. I wanted to know the same thing. The last time I saw Bradley or Denim was when Denim walked into the family meeting wanting revenge on whoever killed Jasmine. The next thing I knew she fainted and was taken to her bedroom. In the middle of the night a few days later she left and none of us could figure out where she went.
Bradley was blowing up her phone but Denim wouldn’t answer. He told Kevin that he was going to find her and nobody had heard from him since. A few days later I got a call from the jail and he was there.
“I went to Sarah’s house to find out if my wife was there,” he started by gripping the phone tighter. “I hadn’t seen her and I needed to know where she was. It was driving me crazy!” His voice grew louder. “And you know we can’t get the cops involved so it was up to me.”
“But Sarah’s house?” Race asked.
“I know,” he responded looking down. “It was stupid but I had no other choice. Grainger invited me in, and the next thing I know the cops are at the house and she’s crying rape.”
“Hold up, something not adding up,” I said suspiciously. “How you go from sitting in the house to being arrested for rape?”
He looked down at the table again. It was as if he were trying to get his answers from there. “We were smoking weed.”
Race shook her head. Denim and Bradley were suckers for their smoke and it looked like he fell into the ultimate trap. Trading his problems for getting high. But who was I to talk? I was a drunk.
“And what else?” I said. He was leaving something out and I needed him to give it to me raw.
“And I fell asleep. She kept saying Denim was on her way back and I knew something was off. But every time I tried to leave she would pick up the phone and say she’s on her way. I was tired.”
“This shit is crazy,” Race said.
“You don’t know how I am when it comes to my wife. I’m not one of them type niggas who marries and don’t keep the vow. I promised to honor and protect her and since our baby girl died, I…I”— he took the phone from his ear and slammed it on the glass partition several times. “I can’t cope!”
“Kennedy,” the C.O. yelled behind him. “One more outburst like that and your visit is over.”
Bradley looked back at him but didn’t respond. He turned around toward us again.
“If you were smoking weed and went to sleep then nothing happened,” Race said. “A rape charge can’t possibly stick.”
Although Race was seeing the picture in one way, I knew something else was up.
“You not thinking straight, Race. She already had me on the assault charge. If she presses this rape shit they may believe her. It’ll look like I’m obsessed with this bitch or something.”
“Did you fuck her or not?” I asked straight up.
Silence.
“Bradley, did you fuck Grainger or not?” I asked him again when he didn’t answer my question quick enough. I was growing angrier.
He sat back in his seat. “I don’t know. I can’t remember.”
I looked over at Race and back at him. “Fuck you mean you don’t know? Either you stuck your dick inside of her or you didn’t. It ain’t a whole lot to it, Bradley.”
“I think she put something in the weed she gave me. It’s either that or the fact that I was exhausted and she took advantage of me.”
“She might have taken advantage but to say you raped her, they must have your semen,” Race said.
“Like I said I don’t know what happened. I never had a reaction to weed like that before. Add to that the fact that I hadn’t eaten or slept since Denim left and I don’t know, maybe I…”
“I never thought you would be involved in no shit like this,” I said to him. I wanted to hurt him so badly. “I knew Kevin was capable of some shit like this, but not you, Bradley. You were the good one.”
“Bambi, it’s not even—”
“I don’t want to hear that shit. All y
ou Kennedy niggas are the same. Think just ‘cause you got money and a dick you can buy and get whoever you want.”
“I don’t know what type shit my brothers be on but I have always loved my wife and I have always hated her sister. Always. And had I not been fucked up in the head I wouldn’t be in the position I am now. My only crime was falling victim to that snake’s games. But the last thing on my mind was fucking Grainger. Why would I want to fuck her? For what? She’s the nastiest bitch I know.”
“What do you want with us, Bradley?” Race asked.
He looked back at the C.O. and whispered. “You know what I want. You’re a Kennedy and it ain’t a whole lot that needs to be said after that. Just make it happen.” He slammed the phone down and walked away.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
GRAINGER
Grainger strolled into her house carrying two bags of groceries while humming. Life for her was sweet these days. How could it not be? She managed to stop using heroin in exchange for the methadone at the clinic down the street. Her sister was probably dead on the side of the road and Bradley was locked up. Christmas had come early to hear her tell it.
She walked the bags into the kitchen, unloaded all of them and then strolled out without a care in the world. When she bent the corner she almost fell out when she saw Bambi and Race standing there looking at her. They’d been there the entire time but she didn’t notice.
“Sit down, Grainger,” Bambi said calmly.
Race pulled out her weapon and pointed it at Grainger’s head.
“We come in peace,” Bambi continued. “For now anyway.”
Grainger sat in the recliner across from Bambi. The first thing both Bambi and Race noticed was the bruise on her upper lip. Bambi took a seat on the sofa.
“What the fuck do y’all want?” Grainger barked. “Why y’all all up in my house and shit looking spooky? My sister ain’t here.”
