The microwave dinged and she turned to pull out the last bowl. Pushing one in front of him and taking the other to her stool, she could feel his eyes on her. Nervous flutters started in her belly and she couldn’t sit next to him yet. Glancing around, she grabbed the kettle off the stove like it was a lifeline and went to the sink to fill it. “If you have some hot chocolate mix, I can make us both a cup.” She put it on to boil and took a breath before she came around the edge of the island to face him.
He was still watching her without saying anything and she couldn’t read his expression. Maybe I should have asked permission first. Maybe he hates hot chocolate now. “I don’t have to make anything, though, we could just eat,” she said, turning to take the kettle off. She didn’t know what to do anymore, and she was too tired to figure it out.
He reached across the island and held her arm. Even though his touch was light, tingles raced up her shoulder and down her spine. “Hot chocolate would be great, thanks.”
Her breath caught as she met his gaze and all her tiredness fled. After all these years he could still affect her like this. He definitely didn’t have the same outgoing personality he’d had in high school, though. There was a lot going on behind those blue eyes and he didn’t seem in the mood to share. Not that she would ask him to. She could hardly imagine what he’d been through in the last year and her heart ached.
Jonah took a step toward her and sat down. The truth was if she didn’t know he’d lost a foot, she wouldn’t have guessed it. His limp was hardly noticeable and he moved well. He must have had a fantastic physical therapist. But from his frosty reception when she’d first arrived, she didn’t want to bring up any uncomfortable topics.
He seemed to be on the same wavelength. “So, how did this doggie romance get started?” he asked before he took a bite. She smiled. The dogs were a pretty safe thing to talk about.
“I’m not sure. She’s been sneaking out the past few nights and making visits to dogs she’s met at the park.” Thankfully her neighbors had caught her since Cami had been watching over Ben in the hospital. She touched the bridge of her nose, pushing those thoughts away for the moment. “I can’t figure out how she’s getting out. I might start calling her Houdini. I can’t even tell you how relieved I was she was over here and safe with that storm outside.”
They both looked at the dogs, who were sitting at attention and staring at them. Or staring at the stew in their bowls. “Magnus, you know Mom would kill me if I gave you any of her stew,” Jonah admonished with a shake of his head. “You have plenty of food in your dish.” Magnus gave him a soulful stare. “All right.” He got up and moved to the cupboard, taking a box of dog treats out. “Here’s a little something for you and your lady friend.”
The dogs settled down with their treats and Jonah talked to them the entire time about being good dogs. Cami tore her eyes away from the scene. He was adorable with the animals, like he’d always been, and it made her heart melt. Even something as devastating as losing a limb hadn’t taken the sweetness out of him. She rubbed her eyes. Being so tired was making her sentimental. Thankfully the kettle whistled and gave her something to do besides stare at the man next to her.
“The box of hot chocolate packets is in the pantry, first shelf on the left.”
“Thanks.” She concentrated on getting the hot chocolate ready, worried that it would be lumpy. Somehow hers was always lumpy no matter what she did, but Ben never minded. She felt the sting of tears and quickly blinked them away. Bending over her task, she hoped Jonah hadn’t noticed. Stirring the lumps out of that hot chocolate became her new mission in life until she could get a handle on herself and her emotions. She finally handed him a cup of non-lumpy hot chocolate, a triumphant smile on her face. He gave her a funny look. Do I look teary? She made her smile bigger, but that just made him frown. For Pete’s sake, don’t scare the man.
“Thanks.”
He was watching her too closely and she backed away. Cami sat down and concentrated on finally taking a bite of her stew. It smelled divine and reminded her that she hadn’t had a chance to eat much today. “This is so good.” She took several more bites, the warmth of the food taking the edge off the cold.
Jonah raised his eyebrows at her nearly empty bowl. “You were really hungry.”
“I didn’t have time to eat and I really hate–” She stopped herself. She’d almost said hospital cafeteria food. That was a subject she didn’t want to broach with him, not if she didn’t want to dissolve into tears. Besides, he probably didn’t want to talk about hospitals anyway, with what he’d been through in the last year. And all she could think about was Ben being there when he should be home safe with her. She felt the prickle of tears again and forced her thoughts to Jonah and high school. It had been such a happy time for her, filled with so many hopes and big dreams with nothing but smiles for the future she’d planned. But she wasn’t that girl anymore and that wasn’t her life. Part of her wished it was, though. She couldn’t control the little sigh that escaped for what might have been.
“You really hate what?” He leaned forward on his elbows, giving her his full attention.
She pulled her thoughts back to the conversation. “I, uh, really hate it when that happens.” She wanted to slap her hand against her forehead. She sounded like an idiot, but she couldn’t talk about Ben. Or hospitals. Or anything that would make her cry. She wanted to be the girl he remembered, someone who could handle whatever life threw at her.
Jonah leaned back, giving her a little more space. “I know it’s been a while, but I still know you, and something’s wrong.” He reached for her hand, and she let him take it. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”
Tears filled her eyes, and she swallowed hard. It had been so long since she’d had someone to lean on and confide in. Six years to be exact. And he was still so perceptive when it came to her and her feelings. She looked down, blinking away her tears. She was not going to cry in front of him if she could help it, and that effort made her throat too tight to talk. Cami squeezed his fingers before she stood and took her bowl to the sink. Taking a second to gather herself, she rinsed it out slowly. Finally, she turned around and found her voice. “It’s a long story.”
He lifted a hand. “We’ve got time. And some hot chocolate. I’ll even make a fire if you like. Just like old times.”
No, it wouldn’t be like old times. Back then, they’d sit in front of his fireplace and talk about running strategies and if the team had a chance to go to state. If she sat there with him tonight, she’d have to tell him why she’d never achieved any of her goals. She’d tell him about Ben. Could she really lay her soul bare to Jonah? Could she look into his eyes and see the disappointment that was sure to be there?
As if the universe had heard her thoughts and wanted to help, the lights flickered out. But if anything, her anxiety only grew. How would Jonah feel about her if he knew the truth?
Chapter Three
As soon as the lights went out, Jonah grabbed the counter, feeling the dogs brush against his legs. Falling in front of Cami was all he needed. At least it was dark if he did. “Let me get a flashlight.” Hopefully his mother still kept them above the fridge. He moved slowly, pushing the dogs out of the way with his good foot. Opening the cupboard and feeling his way inside, he was grateful to touch the shape of a flashlight in the corner. He flipped it on, careful not to shine it in her face. “Good thing we ate before we lost the electricity.”
“Too bad about my pants in the dryer, though. I might have to wear yours home.” She bit her lip. “Do you think your parents are okay?”
“The staff Christmas party was at the hotel ballroom, so if the storm is too bad, I’m sure they’ll just book a room at the hotel for the night. Although knowing my mother, she’ll plow through the storm in her heels to make sure I’m not alone.”
Cami made a noise of commiseration. “It’s hard for her not to baby you, I imagine, but it’s only because she loves you.”
“I know. I haven’t exactly gone easy on her.” He thought back to his mom’s excited invitation to go with them to the Movie Festival and how her face fell when he said no. He didn’t want people gawking at him, but he could have let her down easy. He should have. “I’m lucky to have her.”
“Yes, you are,” Cami said quietly. “I can only imagine how she feels having you home safe and sound.”
He could hear the hitch in her voice. There was definitely something else going on with her, but he didn’t push. For now.
Jonah opened the drawer next to him and picked up some matches. “Should we go into the family room? You can get your pants and dry them in there. I really can start a fire.”
He offered her the flashlight and she took it. “That sounds great.” She got her jeans out of the silent dryer and dragged in a kitchen chair to drape them over next to the fireplace. She walked back and handed him the flashlight when she was done. “I’m definitely ready for that fire.”
A sense of satisfaction went through him that she didn’t question whether he could do it. The fact was, he hadn’t done much for himself since he’d come home and definitely hadn’t taken care of anyone for longer than he cared to remember. He grabbed his mug, feeling lucky. Sure, he was walking slowly, but he was balanced and hadn’t fallen on his face so far.
She followed behind with her mug and sat in his father’s recliner, which was closest to the fireplace. “I just can’t get warm.”
Jonah knelt down and pulled back the fireplace screen. “Just give me a minute.” Before long he had a roaring fire going and he sat back, pleased with himself– until he realized that getting back up on his feet was going to be awkward, especially in front of her. Those old feelings of frustration came rushing back and his fists clenched involuntarily. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself or have her see him struggle. So the obvious solution was he’d just sit here on the floor. Watching over the fire was a perfect excuse.
He looked up at her, but she hadn’t even noticed his moment of indecision. She was clutching her mug of hot chocolate like it was a lifeline, a little shiver running over her. In the old days, he would have pulled her close against him to warm her up, but that might be awkward now. Jonah reached back and grabbed the blanket off the arm of the couch. “Here. This should help.”
“Thanks,” she said, sliding to the floor beside him as she took it. “Maybe I’ll just get closer to the fire.”
He moved back a little to make room for her, and the two dogs joined them, snuggling at Cami’s feet as if they knew she needed their body heat. With only the firelight to illuminate the room, her face was shadowed now and the exhaustion lines were back. He really wanted to know what was going on with her, but knew he had to be patient. He’d worked hard in high school to get her to open up about her home life and why her parents never came to their track meets. She was so independent and didn’t trust easily back then. Surely she knew he would still keep her secrets. Maybe this is about her mom again. Was she in rehab finally? He shifted slightly. That wasn’t an easy topic to bring up so he stuck to the dogs, nodding toward their sleeping forms, practically draping themselves across her legs. “Well, if you can’t get warm with those two beside you, nothing will help.”
Magnus raised his head and gave Jonah a sleepy look. “Hey,” he said to Magnus. “You just going to leave me over here in the cold?” Magnus gave him a “sorry, buddy” look and lay back down with a yawn. “Wow,” Jonah said, shaking his head.
Cami laughed. “Those two are pretty inseparable. I hadn’t realized it was so serious already.”
He liked the sound of her laugh and was glad that hadn’t changed. “Magnus didn’t even mention he was seeing anyone and here I thought we told each other everything.” With the dogs, the fire, and the two of them so close together, it was like there was a little cocoon around them where the world and its pain couldn’t enter. He let out a deep breath and relaxed. Picking up his mug, he slowly drank a bit of his hot chocolate. So smooth. Whenever he made it from a powder he could never get the lumps out. She obviously had a hot chocolate talent. He watched her, that hollowness back in her eyes, and he had to ask her again. “So, I think you were just going to tell me a long story about what’s going on with you.”
She fingered the edge of the blanket. “Since we’re re-creating old times, let’s play our game.”
Our game. The words echoed in his head and his stomach tightened. Their game was truth or dare. He’d never turned down her dares before and she’d given him some crazy ones. What if he couldn’t do it now? And what if her “truth” questions were about his injury? Everyone had been dancing around it since he’d been hurt. How did it happen? How are you feeling? He hated talking about it. He didn’t want to relive the day and he didn’t know how he was feeling half the time. Jonah tamped down a sigh. The world just couldn’t let him have one moment of peace. But when he looked up at her to see her eyes watching him so intently over the rim of her mug, he knew he’d try. If that was the price of letting her know she could still trust him, he’d pay it. Besides, what else were they going to do until the lights came back on? “Okay.”
She laughed again. “You don’t sound very sure. I’ll go easy on you.”
“Promise?” Can she see that word for the plea it is? “I’ll take truth.”
“What did you get your parents for Christmas this year?” She tilted her head. “See? Easy.”
But Jonah inwardly jolted at the question. He hadn’t gotten his parents anything yet. But since Christmas was a week away, he should have. “I’m still thinking about what they’d like.” The excuse rang empty to his ears, but Cami didn’t seem to notice.
“At my last dental checkup your dad confessed to me how much he loves Doctor Who, so I made him a Doctor Who scarf.” She gave him a sly grin. “I got your mom the Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth in it so she has something fun to watch, too. Because, you know, Colin Firth.”
Jonah watched her, liking how happy she was. This was the girl he remembered, happy, giving, and a little mischievous. Obviously the woman she’d become had some secrets. But that could wait a little longer. The matter at hand was, how did he not know his dad was into Doctor Who? “So you’re a knitter? That surprises me. How can you sit still for that long?”
She lightly smacked his arm. “You’re one to talk.”
“Actually, I do a lot of sitting these days.” And just like that, the happy mood was gone.
“You don’t have to,” she said quietly. “Looks to me like you’re doing great.”
How could he explain what it was like to lose a limb, to learn to walk again, the pain? He couldn’t and didn’t want to. But with a year of recovery behind him, he knew she was right. He was doing great and he needed to acknowledge that more. “You’re still bossy.” But when he looked at her face, so familiar, yet different, he saw a strength around her now. Did she see that when she looked in the mirror?
“I prefer to think of it as helpful.”
“Well, maybe I should sit just a little longer so I can at least have a Doctor Who marathon and catch up with my dad.” He nudged her shoulder. “If that’s okay with you.”
She quirked up her lips into a half-smile and Jonah smiled with her. The happy mood was back. How long had it been since he’d been this relaxed with another human being? He honestly couldn’t remember.
“I don’t watch it myself, but almost everyone at work loves it.” She took another sip of hot chocolate. “Maybe you could invite me over to your marathon. I’d even bring Lola for Magnus.”
“Sounds great.” And he meant it. He wouldn’t mind spending more time with her. “So, my turn, right?”
“I pick truth.”
He let out a breath, glad she hadn’t said dare. He didn’t want to dare her to do anything because then she’d get him back on her next turn. “What’s the best part of your job?”
“The kids.” She ran a hand through her hair, making it stand up again. “I love pus
hing them and seeing them improve. It’s a rush.”
“So you relate to Coach Stubbs then?” He crossed his legs under him while he waited for her answer.
“Yes and no. I loved Coach, but he pushed too hard sometimes. I work to make sure I don’t cross that line.”
Jonah nodded. “I always felt like I’d let him down if I didn’t place.”
“Yeah. Me, too. Which is good and bad for a kid, you know?” She set down her mug and began petting Lola’s head. “I want them to do better than they did last time. To keep trying and never give up. That’s what I want them to remember when they think of me.” She looked over at him, and he could see a flush on her cheeks. “Sorry, I sound like a motivational speaker or something.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve heard them all.” He leaned closer. “And you’re a lot prettier than the ones I had.” Her flush deepened, and he grinned. “Do you still run?”
“I get in a few miles a day and there’s at least one kid who likes to challenge me at practice,” she admitted. “I can hold my own.”
Of that Jonah had no doubt. “You were pretty good in high school.”
“Pretty good? I seem to recall beating your times more than once.” She lifted her chin.
He held his hands up in mock surrender. “All right, you were awesome.”
Cami rolled her eyes. “Okay, my turn. With two truths out of the way, you know what it’s time for. Dares.”
She looked around the room for something to dare him with, and Jonah’s heart sank. “There’s not much we can do in the dark. What about another truth?” He hoped he didn’t sound as anxious as he thought he did.
Her gaze swung back to him, and she raised her eyebrows. “Are you chicken?”
Yes. But he didn’t want to admit how scared he really was that he wouldn’t be the guy she remembered. That he’d fall or embarrass himself. Or wouldn’t be able to do what she asked at all. But the alternative was to chicken out and that was unacceptable. He wasn’t scared. He was Jonah Harrison. “Okay, what’s your dare?”
Under the Mistletoe Collection Page 12
