Menopause to Matrimony (Fortytude Series Book 2)

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Menopause to Matrimony (Fortytude Series Book 2) Page 12

by Hickman, Shelly


  “You’re not going to join me?” Geena says before rolling her eyes. “Stupid me! You’re taking pain medication.”

  “Even if I weren’t, I had way too much the other night when Seth brought a date over and made us dinner. Don’t think I’ll be drinking again for a while.”

  Who am I kidding?

  “A date? Do tell! What was she like?” She accepts the glass of wine from me and we move to the living room.

  At least Geena appreciates my news about Seth’s interest in Gretchen and approves of my upcoming lunch with her. Then again, that’s not surprising given that Geena played a very important role in uniting me and Kiran. Whether or not it was intentional, I’ll never know. She was aware I was with David when Kiran and I met after all those years, but I always had the suspicion that she had a hand in gently nudging us together.

  In my defense, wanting to do the same for Seth and Gretchen isn’t the only reason I’d like to meet with her. I genuinely like Gretchen, and I kind of got the impression she could use a friend her own age who’s been through the whole divorce thing. She made a comment that her close friends are still married, and I imagine she’s going through a rough time after ending a twenty-five-year relationship.

  “Not to change the subject or anything, but I never got the chance to tell you how much it meant for you to be at the hospital today. I wasn’t expecting that—it was such a minor surgery.”

  Geena lifts her chin, straightening her posture. “It doesn’t matter. Things can still go wrong during the smallest of procedures. Not that I was expecting anything to go wrong. But, you know what I’m saying…” Her expression softens and she reaches out to touch my arm. “Besides, you’ve become like my own.”

  I press my lips together and swallow. “Thank you.”

  “And you make Kiran so happy, which naturally, makes me happy.”

  “I don’t know, Geena. He doesn’t seem very happy lately.” I set my iced water on the end table beside me.

  She tilts her head to the side.

  I don’t want to come right out and say he admitted being depressed. That will only create a concerned and hovering Geena that makes Kiran crazy. Besides, I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate me blabbing something he claims will pass.

  “Has he said something like that?”

  Promptly shaking my head, I attempt to wave off my remark. “I think we’re just both going through some middle-age blues. I’m probably making a big deal out of nothing.”

  Her shoulders relax and she responds with a sympathetic smile. “Sweetheart, we all go through it. I’ve told you what I was like. You two will get through it, too.”

  “…Yeah.”

  “Besides, if you’re starting to have the moodiness I experienced, a lot of this may just be in your head. Although, I’m not sure that’s much consolation.” She giggles and takes a sip from her glass.

  “Well, one thing I know that’s not in my head is what’s going on with Claire. I’m worried sick about all of them. Luke tells me Carly and Jason are fighting, and now whenever I talk to her, she’s constantly bringing up this guy she knows from school who grew up with a brother with Asperger’s, which apparently makes him the resident expert, in her eyes.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” Geena fingers the silver chain around her throat. “What are they fighting about?”

  The doorbell rings with our pizza and I rise to pay the delivery man. Geena then follows me to the kitchen where I set the box on the table.

  “Anyway, they fight about Claire,” I continue. “He thinks they should be doing one thing, and she thinks they should be doing the other. It just sounds like a huge mess. I’ve been slowly cutting back my hours at the clinic because after seeing a couple of Claire’s recent outbursts, they’re going to need some help.”

  “Uhh! The poor thing.” Geena goes to the pantry to get napkins and paper plates and brings them to the table. “And poor you. No wonder Kiran said you’re overburdened.”

  “I’m not, really. Just worried, that’s all. Wishing I could fix it.”

  We sit across from one another and each take a slice of cheese pizza. Not having eaten anything since last night, I take an eager bite and immediately burn my mouth. “Gah!” Gaping, I turn my head to spare Geena the view and wave a hand in front of my face.

  She sets her slice back down. “I believe I’ll let mine cool for another minute or so.”

  “Ohhhhh, wise decision. I’ll be saying goodbye to the first couple layers of the roof of my mouth.”

  As I take a sip of my water and let it sit to ease the pain, Geena gets up to pour herself a second glass of wine. “Anna, I don’t want to be pushy, but it sounds like you’re under a bit of stress. Unfortunately, I don’t know what I can do to help with Claire, but it would make me so happy to help you plan the wedding ceremony.”

  With a sense of relief, I swallow my water. I’ve been dying to ask for her help, but didn’t know how to bring it up. As of late, my mental capacity and motivation to plan this wedding are lacking. That sounds terrible, like I don’t want to get married. That’s not it at all. And it’s not like I’d rather opt for a no-nonsense city hall thing, because there’s nothing I’d like more than to have a lovely, memorable ceremony with family and friends. It’s just that my focus has been for shit.

  “I can do as much or as little as you like,” she adds, holding up a hand. “And I promise I’ll try not to take over.”

  “God, I love you!”

  She lets out a huge breath. Apparently, she was nervous about my reaction to her offer.

  “This is going to be so much fun.” Her eyes sparkle with excitement as she returns to the table. “What did you have in mind?”

  ***

  After discussing wedding plans for a bit, I’m feeling much more optimistic about things coming together, however I can’t resist the urge to turn the conversation back to Kiran.

  “So… can I ask you… I don’t know… kind of an irrelevant question about Kiran?”

  “Irrelevant?” She busies herself putting the leftover pizza into a ziplock bag.

  “Geena, I can get that. Have a seat.”

  “No, go ahead and finish eating.”

  I’m always the slowest eater out of everyone I know, and the last one at the table. “Well, I guess the question’s irrelevant because of mine and Kiran’s age,” I explain. “And other factors.”

  She puts the pizza in the refrigerator. Then with her nose wrinkled in curiosity, she returns to her chair across from me. “I don’t understand.”

  Leaning an elbow on the table, I chew on my nail for a moment. “Did Kiran ever want children? I mean, he’s told me that he did, but we’ve never had an in depth conversation about it… Was it something that was really, really central for him?”

  Geena laces her fingers on the table and leans forward. “Kiran and I have always been close, but as you probably know, he tends to keep things like that… protected.” She pauses to touch her lips, as if she too, has concerns about revealing parts of him that would make him feel exposed. “As you also know, he has a lot of lingering wounds from his past, being overweight… My impression?” She sits back in her chair. “He does have regrets and sadness about not having children, and it’s one more thing he beats himself up for. You know?”

  My stomach twists. “You mean, he thinks if he’d never been so overweight, he would have found someone early in his life and had a family,” I confirm.

  She smiles sadly and nods. “I probably shouldn’t be saying these things to you. Kiran would be hurt by it.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to get you to spill all his insecurities and regrets. It’s just, this morning when I mentioned something about when Hayden was born, there was this look on his face. He seemed sad. And even though I already had my tubes tied years ago, and honestly, we’re too old to be parents, I think me having yet another procedure that… I don’t know… solidifies the end of having babies…”

  There’s an ache in
my chest at the thought, because I can’t imagine reaching this stage of my life without ever having children. Even though, at my age, the last thing I’d want to do is start over again, if I was able, part of me would consider it—for him. If it’s what he wanted.

  “Is that what you meant when you said he doesn’t seem happy?” she asks gently.

  “Partly, I guess.”

  “Anna, I don’t know everything that’s going on.” She reaches a hand across the table for me to accept, which I do. “But all I can say is I couldn’t be more pleased that he has you. You’re such a sweet and funny lady, and I know he loves you dearly.” Her eyes begin to tear, and I yank my hand away.

  “Okay, stop. Just stop. You’re going to make me cry, and I’ve been doing enough of that lately.” I jump from my seat and walk to the other side of the table to give her a big hug. “Thank you for listening, though. And thank you for being a mom to me.”

  She smiles with a silent nod.

  “Let’s watch a movie.” I take her by the hand. “But nothing that has the remotest possibility of making me cry. What do you think about White Girls?”

  ***

  We’re about a quarter into the movie and I’m pleased to see that Geena is getting a few giggles from it when there’s a knock at the door.

  My heart plummets to my stomach when I open it to see Carly standing there, mascara smeared, with Claire in her arms.

  “Carly, what’s going on?” I guide her inside by the shoulder.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t call, and coming over like this when you just had your surgery today.” She spots Geena on the couch. “Ughh! And you have company.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Just come in!” I take Claire from her, who seems to be perfectly fine, and shower her head with kisses.

  “Hi, Geena,” Carly says quietly as she sits on the sofa across from her. “I’m so sorry I interrupted your evening.”

  “Nonsense!” Geena picks up the remote and turns off the TV. “We were just watching some silly movie.”

  “Nana, I’m hungry.” Claire looks past my shoulder, twirling my hair with her finger. “Do you have any frozen pizza?”

  “It just so happens we have some leftover pizza in the fridge.”

  “I’ll warm her up some.” Geena rises from the couch and holds her hand out to Claire as I place her on the floor. “Come with Grandma Geena!”

  Without apparent upset or concern over whatever is going on, Claire takes her hand and follows her to the kitchen, and I sit down beside Carly. “What’s happened? You’re scaring me.”

  “There’s nothing to be scared about. I just need a break from him tonight.” She drops her head back on the sofa and stares at the ceiling. “I am so pissed at him right now! How long is he going to keep his head in the sand?”

  I nervously lick my lips and wait for her to continue.

  “She is not a regular kid, and pretending like she is isn’t going to change that!”

  “Did you guys have a big fight over him spanking Claire?”

  “No.” She exhales and rubs her forehead. “I mean, yes we had a fight, but it wasn’t because he spanked her.”

  Geena emerges from the kitchen. “Should I stay in here with her so you two can talk uninterrupted?”

  “No, she’ll be fine.” The dark circles under Carly’s eyes reveal her stress load. “I’ll just set her up to watch some TV in Mom’s room when she’s done eating. Is Kiran here?”

  “No, he and Seth went out.”

  She nods listlessly as Geena takes a seat on the couch across from us.

  “I’m so tired of him reprimanding her for every single meltdown, like she’s trying to be a brat or something,” she continues. “All he seems to care about is what other people think. Michael said the same thing happened with his younger brother, only his mom was the one in denial.”

  I lean my chin on my hand and give Geena a look. She returns a sidelong glance and shifts in her seat. “Who’s Michael?” she asks.

  “Oh, he’s just this friend I have from school. His brother, who’s an adult now, has Asperger’s, so I’ve been talking to him about it a lot.”

  “But, the doctor hasn’t said for sure that’s what it is, right?”

  “No.” Carly lowers her voice so Claire won’t hear. “But there’s something wrong. Mom’s seen it, right?”

  “Yes. And from everything that we’ve read, I think the doctor is probably on the right track, but… do you think it’s such a good idea to be bringing up Michael’s input so often?”

  Carly crosses her arms and heaves an exaggerated sigh. “Great! You sound just like Jason.”

  “I’m not saying your friend doesn’t have anything valuable to contribute, but… maybe you could just share that stuff with me from time to time. Not Jason.”

  With exasperation, she shakes her head. “Why? He’s the one who needs to hear it.”

  “And I am in total agreement with you that he’s in denial and probably handling Claire in ways he shouldn’t be, but… let me ask you this? Does this Michael guy even have kids?”

  Carly’s eyebrows squish together. “Well, no. But I don’t see how that has anything to do with anything.”

  “I think all your mom is trying to say is that it’s easy for someone to give parenting advice when they’ve never been one,” Geena offers gently.

  I hold out my palm in Geena’s direction. “Exactly! And the fact that you bring up his advice to Jason, when Michael doesn’t even know what it’s like to be in your place, is probably a sore spot.”

  Ughh. I’m already regretting this conversation. She came here for support and understanding, and now it seems like I’m siding with Jason, and I’m totally not. I’m just trying to point out something she’s doing that’s probably making matters worse.

  “Well, that’s just great,” Carly mutters and lowers her head. “So I’m the one who’s being a bitch.”

  “Come on, Carly! That’s not what I said and you know it.”

  “And for the record, he’s not giving advice, necessarily. He’s just lending a sympathetic ear.”

  God, that’s even worse. I hope this guy truly is her friend and doesn’t have some ulterior motive. That’s the last thing she needs.

  “Okay,” I concede and take her hand. “Okay. Do you and Claire want to stay here tonight?”

  “Is that all right? Do you have the room?”

  “Psh! You know we do. You’re always welcome.”

  ***

  Later that evening, after Kiran’s return and Geena’s departure, Carly curls up against me as we sit at the end of the sofa watching Frozen, while Claire has fallen asleep in Kiran’s lap in the rocker recliner. Except for the fact that the girls are here because of an argument between Carly and Jason, this is sublime.

  Amidst the warm glow of the floor lamp behind them, Kiran and Claire could be the subject of a Rockwell painting. With her rosy cheeks and slightly parted lips, her body is perfectly relaxed as her pudgy arm drops loosely off his lap. While rocking the chair, he repositions her arm onto her stomach and buries his face in her hair, closing his eyes.

  My heart swells and breaks at once, and a lump forms in my throat. For a moment, I imagine that Claire belongs to the two of us.

  Kiran opens his eyes and catches me watching them. Then he smiles and mouths the word, “Heaven.”

  All right, Anna. Time to focus on something else.

  I return his smile before turning back to the movie to watch Elsa sing “Let It Go” for the bazillionth time.

  Shortly after nine o’clock, there’s another knock on the door. We all look at each other, puzzled that someone would be over this late, and I walk to the door to look through the peephole.

  “It’s Jason,” I tell Carly.

  “Lovely,” she says with annoyance as she comes my way.

  I allow her to answer and return to my spot on the couch.

  “Hey,” he says quietly when she opens the door.

  “Hey.”
>
  His hands are buried in his pockets, but he lifts one of them in a brief hello to Kiran and me. “I’m sorry to stop by so late.” When he notices Claire asleep in Kiran’s lap, with a pained stare, his arms drop to his sides.

  “You’re totally fine.” I probably show a little too much enthusiasm in an effort to ease his discomfort. “We don’t even go to bed till later.”

  Lowering his voice, he addresses Carly. “Can we talk?”

  “Jason, I think we should both just take some time to cool off for one night.” Thankfully, she’s much calmer than when she arrived.

  “I can’t sleep. I won’t be able to sleep with you and Claire someplace else. Look… I’m doing the best I can.”

  Trying not to look at them, from the corner of my eye I see Carly stare at the floor. “I know. And so am I.”

  “Hey…” I rise from my seat to approach them. “I don’t want to interfere, but why don’t you leave Claire with us for the night and I’ll keep her tomorrow? Give you guys a day to yourselves.”

  “But you have work tomorrow,” Carly argues.

  “So what? I make my own hours, and I can just bring her with me. All I pretty much do is paperwork anymore. I’m not seeing clients.”

  She folds her arms across her chest. “Bring her with you? You won’t get anything done. Besides, Jason has work tomorrow, too.”

  “I’ll take a sick day.” He meets her eyes. “I uh… could actually use a sick day.”

  Carly looks back and forth between us—debating.

  Motioning to the scene in the recliner, I say, “C’mon. You’re not going to take that away from the poor guy, are you?” Kiran responds with his most affected, pitiful expression, and Jason eyes Carly expectantly.

  Finally, she exhales. “I guess it would be nice to have a day.”

  ***

  Kiran carries Claire, who hasn’t stirred since she first fell asleep, as we climb the stairs for bed.

  “Should we put her in my parents’ old room?” he whispers once we reach our bedroom.

  “Actually, I thought she could just sleep with us. The bed’s plenty big.”

  I get an extra pillow from the armoire and put it in the center of the bed, and Kiran lies her down. While he’s in the bathroom, I change her into her pajamas, and she still doesn’t wake. God, to be able to sleep so soundly!

 

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