by Blair Grey
It was one of those silly things, but I had picked my major because I was good at economics, not because I really knew what I wanted to do with my life. I didn’t really want to do something with economics. I didn’t want something better. I was happy enough with where I was now.
Although I could definitely do with making a bit more money, some months. Not that I was destitute by any means. Fortunately, life here in Las Cruces was pretty affordable, and Candice paid fairly. Plus, my tips were usually pretty good. Other than when those stupid Red Eyes guys came in here.
They were usually pretty good to us, but they acted like they owned the place, like we were lucky to have them drinking here and like they had priority over everyone else. And then they had the gall to tip like poor college students. It drove me crazy, but it wasn’t like you could say anything about it. We were lucky to have their protection, and that at least, I understood.
“Besides,” I said to Candice. “You know I’m one of the best employees that you have here. What would you do if I were to leave? You’d have a hell of a time replacing me.”
Candice laughed. “You’re right at that. But still. You’re my friend just as much as you’re my employee. I’d still rather that you were doing something better with your life.”
I gave her a quick hug. “Trust me, I’m perfectly happy here,” I told her. “More than happy, really. This is a great place to work.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear that,” Candice said, grinning over at me.
“So where do you need me to start?” I asked.
As the evening wore on, I did a little bit of everything: scrubbing glasses, cleaning tables, inventorying what we had left in our back room as we finished up the month. But things were just as dead as I expected them to be, and I couldn’t seem to stop wondering. What could I be if I weren’t so happy working here? What should I be?
I was wiping off the bar when the leader of the Red Eyes came in. I’d met Ray before, and it wasn’t a surprise to see him here. He was in here twice as much as the rest of his guys, at least, and he was never there to collect the money. Something that gave him automatic points, in my book, and not just because he tipped like a normal person rather than the rest of his cheap riffraff. No instead, it was like he had picked this place to be his neighborhood hangout.
It was good to know that even though they were mainly here for our protection, they were also just normal citizens of Las Cruces. It felt like we were doing business with people who really cared, which is something that I never would have expected to have with a gang.
I automatically poured him a beer and set it in front of him at the bar.
“Thanks, Mia,” Ray said gratefully.
I raised an eyebrow at him. “Long day?” I asked.
He shrugged one shoulder. “You know how it is,” he said, even though we both knew that I didn’t. I didn’t have any qualms about his guys coming in here, but that definitely wasn’t the crowd that I ran with.
My father should be proud of that at least.
“We’re a little shorthanded at the moment,” Ray continued as I dried some glasses at his end of the bar.
“Oh yeah?” I asked. “What happened to the rest of your guys?”
Ray sighed. “A couple of them got married, and now Landon has found a girlfriend and a place for himself in Florida.” He frowned at me. “You probably know Landon. He’s come in here a lot. One of the twins?”
“Yeah, I remember the name,” I said, nodding at him. “Did his twin stay in Florida with him?”
I tried to sound casual, but I hoped he bought it. In actual fact, I had made eyes at Braxton, the twin, more than once. He was sexy and muscular, with this devil-may-care attitude that really did something to me. I knew better than to get tangled up in biker shit, but at the same time, I had thought about dragging Braxton home with me more than a couple times.
“No, Braxton’s still around,” Ray said. He frowned. “Although I don’t know how much you’ll see of him in the coming weeks. He’s so used to his brother being next to him wherever he goes that I’m sure this is rough for him. I tried pairing him up with one of the other kids from the club, but I can tell he’s not particularly thrilled about it.”
I snorted and shook my head. “Probably not. You probably just made him feel worse about losing his brother. He’ll just figure out all the ways that this new guy doesn’t measure up.”
Ray gave me a measuring look, and I was sure he was going to ask me how I knew that. Fortunately, Candice came out before I had to explain. “Oh, Ray!” she said in surprise. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were coming in tonight or else I would have come said ‘hi’ sooner.”
“It’s fine, I’ve been chatting with Mia,” Ray said, smiling at her. The two of them had an interesting dynamic. I was sure that they must have slept together at some point, based on the way that they acted. But if so, Candice had never admitted to it.
“We’re all squared away for the month, aren’t we?” Candice asked, and I could tell from her frown that she was trying to remember for sure. She had a lot on her plate, and no matter how much I tried to help her out, she refused to let me in on the business side of things. Even though she had to realize she was driving herself into the ground.
“We’re squared up,” Ray assured her. “I just wanted to check in.” He paused. “Have the two of you had any problems lately? With visitors or unruly customers. Anything.”
Candice and I exchanged a glance. Was he trying to ask if any other gangs had swung by to visit us? I made a face and Candice shrugged.
“Nah, things have been quiet as normal,” she said. “Why, should we be worried?”
Ray laughed. “I hope not,” he said. “That’s the whole reason we’re here to protect you. Like I said, I just wanted to check in with you two.”
He downed the rest of his drink and got to his feet, and I couldn’t help thinking that there must be some sort of story behind it. That there was something he wasn’t telling us. I couldn’t help starting to feel a little nervous in spite of myself.
But at the same time, I was sure I was just overreacting. I trusted Ray. If there was any sort of problem, he would have told us. No, it was probably more that he was worried because they were feeling a little short of men, like he had said prior to telling me about Landon’s leaving.
I frowned, thinking about what he had said. Poor Braxton. I could only imagine how he must be feeling at the moment. I made a mental note to talk to him the next time he was in here. Not that I really knew what to say to him. It wasn’t like we were friends.
No, it was probably better that I didn’t say anything at all. I knew how obnoxious it was to have to listen to people, who didn’t even know your sibling, try to tell you how sorry they were for your loss.
Another thing I didn’t want to think about. I threw myself into work behind the bar, barely even hearing when Ray left. “Are you all right?” Candice asked, rubbing my shoulders once he was gone. She was the only person in the world who really knew what I had gone through. And she knew exactly which chord Ray had struck with me.
But I forced myself to smile. “I’m fine,” I told her. “It’s just a Monday. What else am I supposed to do other than inventory?”
3
Braxton
I didn’t hear anything from Ray until Friday. And to be honest, I was kind of going stir-crazy. I could do all the same things that I had done before. I had plenty to entertain me. But playing video games by myself just felt lame and drinking by myself felt desperate. I wanted to call Landon, but I was sure he was busy with Anne.
It felt like he had abandoned me, and I couldn’t help but feel angry with him.
Of course, it wasn’t like he was my only friend. There were the other guys in the club and some other guys who I knew from nights of drinking. But hanging out with them on my own, without Landon, just felt strange. When I went out for drinks with Cameron on Wednesday night, I was irrationally mad at the silences between us, silences t
hat would have been filled by another person being there.
Landon wasn’t always the most talkative dude, but he was at least good at coming up with topics of conversation that I could babble away about. It was part of why we made such a good team.
Ray called on Friday and asked me to come over to the clubhouse. I wondered immediately if there was some other big problem to deal with. But if so, he probably would have waited until Monday’s meeting so that he could share it with everyone at once. Right?
I wondered if it was another mission that he wanted me to do with Grant. Immediately, I had to grimace. I sure hoped that wasn’t the case.
I was kind of hoping it would be some big mission, though. I still wasn’t used to taking on projects without Landon by my side, but at least this would give me something to do, some way to occupy myself. I was anxious for a little bit of action. Anxious to turn all this restless energy toward a fight or something like that. I knew if Landon were there, he would just tell me to calm down, that we needed to have all the information before we even thought about swinging fists.
Landon always did take after Ray. I wondered why I had never really noticed that before.
When I got to the clubhouse, though, Ray was there on his own. That meant he probably didn’t have some task for Grant and me since he would have invited Grant to drop by as well. “Hey, have a seat,” he said, pouring me a drink.
I suddenly remembered what he had told Landon and me in Florida. That in actual fact, he was our biological father, unbeknownst to both of us. We had spent most of our years in the foster care system before Ray had finally taken us under his wing. But I couldn’t blame him, especially after he told us the reason. He just didn’t want us to be forced into a life with Red Eyes. He wanted us to be able to choose our own paths. I had to appreciate that.
But the way he was looking at me now, concern in his eyes, I was forced to remember that he was family just as much as Landon was. And if I was missing my twin, I had to remember that he was missing his son too.
“How are you doing with all of this?” Ray asked.
As much as I recognized that he was dealing with a loss as well, it didn’t mean that I really wanted to talk about it. I rolled my eyes. “What do you mean, putting up with Grant?” I asked. “The kid shouldn’t be here; you know that.”
Ray gave me a look. “Braxton,” he said disapprovingly, and I suddenly found that I couldn’t meet his gaze anymore.
“It’s rough,” I admitted, then shrugged. “You know that. Landon and I have been inseparable pretty much since we were born, and now…” I trailed off, shrugging again.
I felt like an asshole for even thinking of it, but even though Ray was dealing with the fact that his son had up and moved to Florida, he couldn’t possibly understand what this felt like for me. Sure, Ray had kept tabs on us while we were in the foster care system, and sure we’d pretty much been family even before Ray admitted that he was actually our biological father. But Landon was my twin. He was the only person I’d ever met who was totally in sync with me.
Or at least, he had been totally in sync with me, until he met Anne. Now, it seemed like he was more in sync with her. I didn’t want to feel jealous, but I did sort of feel like he’d somehow decided that she was better, that he’d rather live with her in Sarasota than live here in Las Cruces with me. Of course, I’d known it had to happen eventually, but I had kind of hoped it would still be a while before we split up.
And I’d never expected him to move across the country. Maybe just across Las Cruces.
“You know I’m always here to talk,” Ray said.
I laughed. “You’re really taking the father thing to heart, aren’t you?” I asked.
Ray gave me a wry look. Then, he paused. “You know that things are going to settle down,” he said. “And Grant isn’t such a bad guy.”
“Is he your son too?” I asked sarcastically, even though I knew that Landon’s disappearance wasn’t Ray’s fault. I shouldn’t make it sound like I was mad at Ray. I wasn’t. I knew that if he had ordered Landon to come back to Las Cruces with us, it would have only have made things even more strained.
But at the same time, I had to lash out at someone, and Ray was the only person who I could possibly be mad at other than myself or Landon.
“He’s not my son too,” Ray said, and I could detect the hint of a smile at the corners of his lips. “But he is family. You know that. The whole MC is like family. Even for the people who haven’t been here that long in the scheme of things.”
“I don’t think Grant is really part of the MC,” I said, unable to keep the disdain from my voice. “You should have heard him the other day. He’s a fucking pussy.”
“Then maybe it’s a good idea for you to spend some time with him,” Ray said.
I leveled him with an unimpressed look. “I don’t really feel like hanging out with the kid,” I said.
“I’m not asking you,” Ray countered evenly. “As president of this MC, I can tell you that it’s an order. I want you to spend more time with him.” He paused, as I stared incredulously at him. “Take him to the bar. Sunshine.” He winked at me. “You know, Mia seemed concerned when I told her about Landon.”
I rolled my eyes. “Why, because she thought he was attractive?” I asked. I remembered Mia only vaguely. She was attractive, sure, with long legs and piercing eyes. But she wasn’t my type. You couldn’t fuck barmaids, or else you might be banned from the whole bar. I liked Sunshine; they had cheap prices without feeling like too much of a dive bar, and I didn’t want to screw things up there.
“Actually, I think she was more interested in you,” Ray said, his eyes twinkling.
I rolled my own eyes. “I doubt that,” I said.
“Well, just take Grant out. If he got an idea of how things worked, if he felt more like you guys were his family, maybe he’d be more willing to fight for everything that Red Eyes stands for.”
“Maybe,” I said doubtfully, not believing it. But whatever. If that was what Ray wanted, there was no arguing against him. “But if he starts being too much of a pussy again, I’m going to have to set him straight,” I said.
“I would expect no less,” Ray said, sounding amused.
As I left the clubhouse, I dialed Grant’s number. Better to just get this over with rather than having to listen to Ray ask me again. “Hey, Grant,” I said. “I’m headed out to Sunshine tonight, you know it? Why don’t you meet me there?”
“Sure!” Grant said, sounding all too eager. Did he even have friends?
I shook my head in disgust. Hopefully he’d at least make a decent wingman. But I didn’t hold out much hope.
Why couldn’t Landon have convinced Anne to move out here with him? I hated this.
4
Mia
Friday night at Sunshine was busy enough to keep us moving without being too busy for Candice and me to handle. I liked nights like this; it was easy to fall into a rhythm. Check the tables, clear the bar, wash some dishes, pour some drinks. Then start it all over again. There were enough lulls toward the start of the evening that Candice and I could chat as well.
“So how have things been going outside work?” she asked. “You up to anything fun this weekend?”
I shrugged as I scrubbed the counter behind the bar. “You know me,” I said. “I’ll probably sleep in tomorrow morning, and then it’ll be time to come right back to work for tomorrow night. I was thinking that maybe we could get lunch sometime soon, though.”
“Because we don’t already see each other enough?” Candice asked, smirking at me.
I laughed. “Come on; there’s a difference between seeing each other at work and seeing each other for lunch.”
“You going to have better gossip if we get lunch together?” Candice teased. “Your life is pretty boring outside work.”
“Well excuse me, we can’t all have our lives totally put together,” I said, fondly rolling my eyes at her.
“How about this: if
we go to lunch together, you need to apply for five jobs in your field. Careers,” Candice said.
I groaned. “Are you seriously going to be on me about that again?” I asked. “You’re not supposed to drive away your best workers, you know.”
Candice chuckled. “I know. And I dread the day when I have to find a replacement for you. I’ll probably have to hire three people just to do your job.” Her eyes twinkled. “Although, it’ll be good not to have Darren in here ever again.”
I grimaced. Darren was my ex, and he was a problem. He still didn’t seem to grasp the fact that we were broken up, even though it had been plenty of time now for him to have moved on. In fact, I was sure that he had moved on. He had probably been cheating on me the whole time we were dating, the scumbag. But he seemed to have it in his head that I was his, and every once in a while, he would drop by the bar to make sure I wasn’t getting too friendly with anyone else.
He was a nuisance. But it wasn’t like I could really do anything about him.
“Has he been in here lately?” I asked, looking around to make sure he wasn’t there that night.
“Once or twice,” Candice said, shrugging. “But he somehow seems to time it when you’re not in here. Makes me wonder if he’s up to something else now.” She rolled her eyes.
“I doubt it,” I said, shaking my head. “The timing probably just fit into his work schedule or something. I don’t think you have anything to worry about with him.”
“Hey, if you have something to worry about from him, then I have something to worry about. Solidarity, sister.” She slung an arm around my shoulders, giving me a quick hug.
I laughed and shook my head. “I’m not scared of him,” I told her truthfully. “He’s obnoxious, but I don’t think he’d really do anything to hurt me.”
