by Edwina Fort
“Well, you can keep yo’ Martha Stewart house, ‘cause I don’t like her food anyway! And for the record, I don’t need you to buy me a house!” I pointed at Shantell’s a** lying on the ground, looking a hot mess.
“I ain’t like her. I didn’t wait around for no man to rescue me. I’m a success story! I have my own damn money and my own damn business! And guess what, Hard Hitta, I didn’t need you to help me get it either. So, take yo’ Martha Stewart house with her bland a**, unseasoned food and take your money and shove it up yo’ a**!!! It’s over!”
I turned to walk toward the door, but this time, Maddox didn’t try to stop me.
“Who the f*** you think you talkin’ to?” Hitta’s deadly voice came from behind me…And right there, y’all, I should have stopped. That was the point that I should have just let it go, but no…for the first time in my life I was speaking up for myself and if felt AMAZING!
I turned around and nailed him with my gaze… “I’m talking to the piece of crap that would condone animal behavior. I’m talking to my ex-lover!” And I don’t know what possessed me to say what came out of my mouth next, but it did…
“When she wakes up…tell her she can have you. I’m going to get me a real man!”
There was a collective gasp of breaths. Everybody now looked at me with their mouths hanging open, all except Hitta, whose knuckles were white from where he tightly grasped the ropes. His face distorted in rage before a growl came out of his throat and he leaped over the ropes displaying the power in his body.
But I never saw him land on the ground because that little bravery I’d found disappeared like twenty dollars in my mama’s hand and I turned around and hauled a**.
The stairs were the closest thing to me, there was no way I would make it all the way to the door. Quickly I took the stairs two at a time. I could hear him behind me, and my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest.
“Stop f***ing running from me!” he growled way too close.
“Stop chasing me!” I yelled back pumping my legs and arms as if my life depended on it.
I ran into the first door which was Hitta’s office shutting and locking it just in time.
His first blow to the metal door seemed to shake the whole office.
“You gon’ go get you a real man?” he yelled from the other side and followed with a pound on the door. “I wish you would, baby, I’d f***en’ snap his neck in two and stuff his head up his a**! You know why, Angel?! ‘Cause you mine! You f***en mine! And I’ll kill before I see you on the arms of another mutha f***a!”
Breathing heavily, I stood back against the far wall staring at the door in amazement. I couldn’t believe I’d just said that stuff. I couldn’t believe he was this angry. I looked at the phone and thought about calling the police, but even I knew better than that. These weren’t the kind of folks that handled stuff like that well… and if I was being honest with myself…
Although he was angry as a raging bull, deep down inside, I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. I can’t tell y’all how I knew it…I just did.
“Earl, don’t just stand there looking stupid! Bring me the goddamn keys up here!” I heard him call down to someone.
Oh crap! I forgot about the keys… Frantically I looked around the spacious office for somewhere to hide, there was nowhere to go but underneath the desk.
I didn’t care how I looked, I quickly crawled underneath and sat there hugging my legs, wishing I could take back my reckless words.
Oh y’all, you talking about a praying sista… When I heard those keys in that door before it opened and then closed, I started praying.
My Greatie wanted me to start reading my bible and I swear, if God helps me through this, I will read my bible. If he just helps me out of this ditch I've dug for myself, I swear to never steal again.
If he just—
I screamed when the leather chair that was in no way small was violently snatched away from the desk so hard that it crashed into the wall way across the office.
My eyes widened when those two Timberlands came into view connected to a pair of bowlegs encased in black jeans…
Closing my eyes, I started praying harder…
Oh God, help me!
“Angel…” Hitta growled and I jumped, putting my hand over my mouth so that I didn’t start crying. “Come from under there!” Each of his words was bitten out in a way that let me know that he was barely holding on to his rage.
I thought about just pretending I didn’t hear him…but then figured there was no need to put off the inevitable. I sucked in a deep breath and crawled from under the desk.
He didn’t move back for me, which gave me very little space to rise. The strap on my dress fell, but I was too nervous to make any extra movements. Biting my lip, I stared at his angry chest that moved in and out as he took deep breaths because I was not brave enough to look him in the eyes…
This was the same chest that I clung to every night in my sleep…the same chest I’d kissed. But now it may be the last thing I ever see.
The first tear touched my cheek and I didn’t bother to wipe it away…It was his hand that reached up and did it, and then he surprised the crap out of me. He went down to his knees in front of me and after wrapping his arms around my waist, pulled me to him, burying his face in my stomach.
I stood there staring down at the top of his head in complete shook.
“Don’t leave me, baby…I’m sorry!” His muffled plea came out of my stomach. “If you get another man that sh*t gon’ kill me…I swear! That sh*t will kill me! I can’t lose you, shawty! Please, baye…what do you want me to do? I’ll do it! I swear! I can’t lose you.”
What the world?
And I’ll be doggone if his pleas did not pull at my heartstrings…I wrapped my arms around his head holding him to me and his embrace tightened.
“It’s alright, Hitta.” My voice trembled with unshed tears… “It’s going to be alright…”
Still on his knees, he looked up at me and I could see the pain in his eyes. “I’ll fire Shantell if you want me to. I was still helping her with her bills and sh*t because I have this sense of loyalty to people that’s loyal to me. She a gold-digger and was a horrible girlfriend and a bit of a slut, she done f***ed a lot of the men that come to the gym…But she mans the sh*t out of that front desk…So I let her work it.” He shrugged. “But I will kick her a** out if it mean not losing you. Sh*t, I’ll shut down this whole f***ing gym if it mean not losing you, shawty.”
I smiled down at him through my tears…I’d never seen him this way. Big fierce Hitta…on his knees begging little old me to stay. I bet there was no one else on earth that has ever seen him like this. This was something that he’d only shown me. I knew that like I knew my name was Angel.
My Greatie didn’t say anything about this. How in the world was I supposed to walk away from him when he’s like this?
“I can’t believe you’re on your knees begging me to stay,” I told him.
“Sh*t, girl, for you, a nigga will beg all night if I have to.”
Smiling, I palmed his face staring down into his intense gaze.
Dang it! I think I loved him…
“Angel…on the real. I love you, shawty. I’ll do anything to keep you…anything.”
Wow! He’d just spoken my thoughts to me. He loved me… Dear God, this man had my heart. I was so gone I don’t think I’ll ever be able to find my way back.
“Anything?” I asked…
He nodded. “Anything, baby…just say the word.”
I bit my lip as I worked up the courage to say the word.
“Make love to me…”
“Sh*t…I thought you’d never ask,” he hissed before his big hand came up to the top of my dress pulling it down, causing my breasts that were still swollen from his kisses this morning to spill out.
My breath sucked in sharply when his hungry mouth closed over the tender peak and he began to feed on me.
And I don't kn
ow if it was the fact that we'd just fought or what, but damn!
The sex was hot!
He raked his hand over his desk clearing a way for my body and I could tell that it was taking everything within him not to rip my dress open… but rather than tackle the buttons while he still feasted on my breasts, he pulled it up to my waist.
And as his hungry mouth lowered and I gave in to this man that I loved, my last coherent thought before I got swept away in the storm that was Hard Hitta, was that I prayed with everything in me that I wasn’t being a fool.
Chapter 13
The Weaver’s Tapestry
When I was little girl, my mama told me that God is a Master Weaver and that life is His tapestry. She said no one knows what in the end the picture will unfold, but that we are all threads intertwined in His divine masterpiece. Some threads are dark, and some are bright, but one can’t exist without the other because then the picture wouldn’t be precise. She says balance is needed in order to bring God’s plan into sight, but that in the end, everything will be alright. For it is written that Yah spoke into the darkness and said, let there be Light.
--Edwina Fort
Angel
“That feels so good, Angel,” Hitta moaned as I used both of my hands to gently massage his head with the shampoo I made especially for him.
The relaxing fragrance of the herbal blend filled the bathroom, combining smoothly with the soothing melodic sound of Jill Scott that came from the speaker in the bedroom. Cupping my hands, I filled it with the warm water from the tea bath I made from the same blend as the shampoo and rinsed his hair.
Once done, he shamelessly rested his head against my breasts soaking the front of my tank top. I smiled down at the top of his head. Y’all, when my big strong man is in pain like this, he can be such a baby. But of course, I didn’t mind at all.
Lifting the towel, I began to bath him with soap that I’d made from the same blend.
Instead of turning on the overhead lights, I’d lit candles; the synthetic lights only made his head feel worse. However, in another thirty or so minutes, he will not be feeling anything because the blend I’d used for his tea bath, shampoo and soap was going to knock him out…He just didn’t know it yet.
“How do you do it, shawty? I swear you a real-life healer. I’ve gone to the best specialists in the world and they’d not been able to do what you did with just a bath.”
My smile grew as I continued to run the towel over him making sure to saturate his skin so that the healing brew seeped way down into his pores.
“We’ve been programmed to view modern medicine as the best thing since sliced bread, but there was a time when all man needed to heal was the herbs that grew from the very earth we came from… It’s kind of like milk from mama’s breast.”
I spoke softly, using the sound of my voice to give him comfort and to help relax his big body further, lulling him into the sleep that will heal him…
At least this time…
“When I was a little girl, my Greatie said that after the great flood, God sent an angel to teach Noah how to use the herbs of the earth to heal his children. She said that every sickness that plague man is an unclean spirit, and that the right combination of herbs can chase those spirits away.”
Once I'd finished washing as much of his big body as I could reach, I used a bowl and scooping more of the healing water up, gently poured it over his head as I continued to speak. He now looked at me through lids that were getting lower and lower.
“Why do you think I get these headaches?” he muttered…fingering one of my braids that fell into his tea bath.
I shook my head as I gently continued to pour the water over his thick neck and shoulders…
“I don’t know, but I believe it’s psychological as well as spiritual.”
He frowned a bit. “Spiritual?”
I nodded… “Yeah, have you ever heard the tale of King Saul?”
He shook his head his eyes growing heavier.
“Many years ago, there was a great king named Saul. You see, what made him great is that he had been appointed his seat directly from The Ancient of Days. But like many men who receive such power, it went straight to his head and he forgot all about The Ancient of Days and started believing that by his own might was he great. He even got a statue erected of himself in the Set-Apart Land, something the Heavenly Father hates with a vengeance. So, God sent his prophet to anoint a new king, Dawid… Or who you may know as King David.”
I stood and retrieved the big fluffy towel, holding it open for him as he stepped out. I didn’t want him falling asleep in the tub. Once his eyes closed, he needed to be able to get a few hours of undisturbed rest.
“Once Saul got wind of this, he became jealous of the young handsome Dawid and in his heart, decided to kill him.”
As he stood before me, so powerful and strong…I could imagine that King Dawid was very much like him. I had to go up on my toes to dry off his mighty shoulders. Biting my bottom lip as my hands lowered to his chest drying the water off of his well-defined pecks.
This man’s body is gorgeous…
Mmmm…
I quickly continued with my story before my mind went elsewhere.
“The Ancient of Days rejected Saul and an evil spirit began to plague him, causing all kinds of havoc in his life. His servants begged him to call Dawid to come play his musical instrument for him because it was a well-known fact that when he played it, it chased away sickness.”
Once I’d dried all the water from his beautiful body, I took his hand and led him to the bed. He was so relaxed he looked drugged. He didn’t put up any argument as I held the covers back and gestured for him to lie down. I’d already closed the curtains blocking out the midday sunlight.
Crawling into bed next to him I propped my back up on the pillow a bit, smiling when my big baby turned over wrapping his muscled arm around me, once again resting his head on my breasts.
As I continued my tale, I gently rubbed his head massaging his tense areas.
Hitta grunted. “I thought he wanted to kill Dawid.” His words were heavy, he didn’t have long.
“He did…” I told him as I continued to rub his head and neck. “That great king, who had begun to believe he’d gotten that way by his own might, had to humble himself because the very man he wanted to kill, was the only one that could cause his sickness to go away, but God had rejected Saul, so whenever Dawid stopped playing, the evil spirit would come right back.”
“Do you think that’s what’s happening to me? Do you think I get these headaches because God has rejected me?”
“No, I don’t think he’s rejected you, but I think he is trying to get your attention. My Greatie says he speaks to us through the unexplained. Nobody knows why you get these headaches. You’ve gone to the best specialist in the land and they can’t tell you anything.”
I gently kissed his head… “My Greatie would ask you at which point do it cross your mind to go to God?”
He grunted again… “Maybe yo’ Greatie is right. But I don’t think God want to have nothing to do with me. I’m not really the type of person he mess with, you know? I’m not like King Dawid…”
“How do you know that?”
“Because shawty…It’s a lot of blood on my hands.” I could barely understand his words at this point. I was positive he was half asleep.
“There was a lot of blood on King Dawid’s hands as well. He was feared in the land amongst all people, you know why?”
“Hmmm?”
“Because he was a goon.”
He chuckled. “What you know about goons, Teacup?”
“I know that I love one.”
He stiffened before he lifted his head and looked at me through lowered lids. “You love me?”
I bit my bottom lip to tame my grin. “How do you know you’re the goon I’m talking about?”
“Sh*t…I better be the goon you talking about.”
I gently kissed his lips… “Yea
h, you the goon I’m talking about.”
He studied my gaze for a moment before he spoke. “I love you too, shawty…”
This was his first time telling me that again since that day in his office a month ago and my first time telling him period.
I’ve been too afraid although I don’t know why…
You know what? Scratch that, I do know why…
Although Hitta and I have grown so much closer after what happened at the gym last month, there has still been something inside of me that has held me back from giving my heart completely to him. Maybe it was my Greatie’s warning that she feared he would break it, or maybe it was the fact that for a moment he had broken it…
Well… until I found out the truth, I’d gone off halfcocked and believed Shantell’s lies like a fool.
That night after we had wild, passionate makeup sex in his office…so passionate that I was extremely embarrassed when we finally walked out of the office two hours later. Everybody pretty much did their best to ignore us, pretending like they didn’t know what we’d just done…
Although one didn’t have to be a genius to figure it out, he’d chased me into the office shouting and cussing and we’d come out of the office holding hands with that satisfied look on our faces that one gets after good loving.
Yeah, everybody was pretty cool about it… helping me not to feel so embarrassed.
Well…all but two people. Carmen grinned from ear to ear and gave me two thumbs up and Shantell, who was back at her spot behind the cash register, gave me the evil eye, but because there was a huge bruise forming on her cheek, it kind of took away from the effect she was shooting for.
Anyway, Hitta had kept his word and took Jessie and me to the Bulls game and then out to dinner. That night after we put Jessie to bed, he and I stayed up late and talked about everything. You guys might have guessed that after the truth came out, I felt so very foolish for believing her crap.
“Yeah, I paid a few bills for her, but only because she came to me in tears, talking about how she was struggling to cover all her bills with what I’m paying her at the gym. And sh*t… I wasn’t giving her a** a raise so I gave her a loan…and took the sh*t back out of her check over the next couple of weeks.”
