I bit my lip as she trailed off.
Finally, she sighed. “I guess I just wanted to say that he’s worth the risk. I mean, he’s a great guy and—”
“I know that,” I interrupted, my tone too brisk. Straightening, I met her gaze evenly. “You don’t have to convince me that Tieg Larson is a good guy. I know he has a huge heart, I know…I know him.” I swallowed past a lump in my throat as I realized the truth of that. I did know him. He might have become big and famous, but I still knew him.
I still loved him.
“So what’s the problem?” Jamie’s voice was gentle and that was when I realized the tears I’d been fighting were starting to well up and overflow.
“It’s not him,” I said. “It’s me.”
She arched her brows, and I rolled my eyes. “I realize that sounds like a cheesy breakup line, but it’s true. He’s moved on—”
“Not from you,” she said, her voice insisted.
“Maybe not, but he’s living in a different world now. And I—” I can’t follow. I can’t leave. I’m stuck. I shook off the bitter, self-pitying thoughts and squared my shoulders. “I have a life here.” I forced a shrug as though admitting I could never have a future with Tieg didn’t kill me.
Jamie looked confused. “Surely you guys could work things out…”
I sniffed. Not likely. Working things out would mean accepting charity money or help we couldn’t afford.
Jamie sighed. I had this horrible sinking feeling like I’d disappointed her. I didn’t know what it was about her that made me want to make her happy—probably the fact that she’d singlehandedly brought on a miracle by organizing this fundraising concert that would transform our school and our community.
“He’s leaving in the morning, you know,” she said. Once again her voice was so gentle it made me want to weep on her shoulder.
I nodded. “I know.”
“I don’t think he wants to go, but he has to.” She shifted from one foot to the other. “He’s in the middle of this tour and—”
“I know.”
She was quiet, and I was too. My head was telling me it was for the best that he was leaving soon. The sooner the better. Once he was gone, I could resume my normal life and Tieg’s return would just be a memory.
I bit my lip to keep back another wave of tears.
Jamie’s expression turned sad, almost pitying. “If you care about him, if you…have feelings for him…you’ll regret it if you don’t tell him.”
I stared at her for so long that she started to blush.
“That was totally out of line, wasn’t it?” she murmured. “Sorry, I just…I don’t want to see you hurting either.”
I nodded. “Thanks,” I managed.
She turned to leave. “I’d better get Alex so we can check into our hotel.”
I followed her to the front door, and when she got there, she stopped. I knew there was more she wanted to say, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it.
“From what Tieg told me, he pushed you away so that he could walk away.” Her voice was calm, steady…but her words had the exact opposite effect on me. “He thought he was doing what was best for you, but…he was wrong, wasn’t he?”
I nodded.
“Just…don’t repeat his mistakes, okay?” She arched her brows in a hopeful expression, and I found myself nodding again.
“I’ll try not to.”
After she walked out and I closed the door behind her, I sank back against the doorframe and let my head fall back with a thud. My brain was struggling to catch up with my heart which was catapulting against my ribcage like it was trying to get free.
Don’t repeat his mistakes.
I shut my eyes tight, but it didn’t make Jamie’s words sting any less.
Was that what I was doing? Cruelly pushing him away like he’d done to me?
Yes. Of course, it was. It felt necessary.
Why?
Because if there was any hope, I didn’t trust myself not to cave…not to be unforgivably selfish and drop everything to go off into the sunset with the guy who’d stolen my heart and never given it back.
But the thing was, Jamie thought I was pushing him away because I was still angry. I had no doubt that Tieg thought the same thing. But he was wrong, and it wasn’t fair to let him think that.
It wasn’t his fault that I had to stay and take care of my family. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It was just the way things were. Life wasn’t always fair, and not everyone got a lottery ticket out of this town like Tieg did with the boy band.
But still…
He was leaving tomorrow. Maybe even tonight after the concert if he decided he didn’t want to stick around. My body was in action before my brain figured out that I was going to see him. I had to.
We might not have a future, but I couldn’t let him leave thinking that I’d forgotten our past. I couldn’t let him go without him knowing that I’d forgiven him for leaving, and that I wished him all the best.
But this crazy urgency that had me scrambling to snag my wallet and the keys to my dad’s truck wasn’t entirely selfless. I was also desperate for one more moment with him, especially since it could very well be my last. I still had a little time left, and I intended to make the most of it.
I ran out the door and then froze as all eyes turned to me.
It seemed Jamie and Alex were still chatting with Brady and my siblings, but I’d grabbed all of their attention with the crazy way I’d flown out the front door.
“Uhhh,” I started. Eloquence was my middle name.
Jamie took one look at me, and I swore she knew exactly what I was doing because her lips curved up in a triumphant grin. “You’re going to go see him.”
I hesitated, heat creeping into my cheeks as everyone stared at me. “Yeah.”
“That’s great!” Her smile fell ever so slightly. “But he wasn’t at the hotel…I don’t know where he is.”
I grinned. “I do.”
Chapter Eleven
Tieg
The river that ran through town had always been my favorite place to hang out when things were bad at home.
It still looked the same, and that more than anything was what I needed to see. That some things didn’t change. I was sitting on the front end of the rental car watching the small rapids flow, trying not to think and failing. Not even the familiar sight of people floating by could distract me from the epic disaster that was my love life.
Seriously? Had I really thought that shouting out my love for her would make a difference? Had I thought that singing a song that reminded her of her childhood would suddenly make her love me again?
I shook my head and sighed as I watched a man running with his dog on the other side of the river.
I was an idiot. And now, thanks to that idiocy, Daisy would surely hate me forever. I’d had three years to get used to the limelight, and even I was having a hard time watching my heartache be made public for all the world to see. I could only imagine how much Daisy was hating it…how much she was hating me.
I took a sip of the terrible coffee I’d snagged from the market on Main Street. This too hadn’t changed—it still tasted like burnt tar. But after a night of almost no sleep and a live performance in a few hours’ time…it would have to do.
“Ten bucks says the next floating party goes in.”
Daisy’s voice behind me had me sitting up straight and whipping around to see her standing a little to my left, one hand up to block the glare of the sun as she met my gaze with an enigmatic look.
I couldn’t breathe. Hope and excitement had my heart thudding painfully in my chest. “You found me,” I said.
She grinned, and the sight of that familiar smile made my heart stop its beating altogether before resuming at a frantic pace. “You’re predictable,” she said as she slid onto the hood beside me, her jeans-shorts-clad hip bumping up against my thigh.
A breeze lifted her hair slightly and I was surrounded by the scent of her hair
, her skin. She was sunshine and kindness and everything good in my life.
“Predictable, huh?” I said, adopting the same laid-back sitting position that she had, leaning forward and staring straight ahead at the river as I sipped my coffee again. “So I guess you totally saw that coming last night.”
I flinched the second the words were out of my mouth. The girl probably hated me; I should definitely not be joking about it.
But after a second she let out a choked laugh. “No, I definitely did not see that coming.”
Something inside me eased in relief that she wasn’t raging at the humiliating position I’d put her in. “Well, I guess I can still pull off some surprises.”
“Mmm,” she agreed. “You’re so predictable most of the time but when you decide to shock people, you really shock them.”
I smiled down into my coffee cup. “The whole becoming a rock star thing?”
She laughed softly under her breath. “Yeah, the rock star thing.” She leaned over and nudged my shoulder with hers. “No one saw that coming.”
“Not even me.” I glanced over at her. “Especially not me.”
“I’m happy for you.” It came out stiffly and then she glanced over with a small smile. “I realized that I never got to tell you that. I’m…”
I watched her swallow.
“I’m proud of you.”
I had to face the river and take a deep breath to keep from getting choked up. “Thanks.”
“No, I mean it.” She shifted so she was half facing me. “I didn’t want you to leave here tomorrow thinking that I wasn’t happy for you, or that I was still mad about the way you left.”
My insides went in two different directions at once. On the one hand, I was relieved. That was what I’d been hoping for, right? Forgiveness. Resolution.
Closure.
I sipped my coffee to avoid having to speak. I might have wanted her forgiveness but as soon as I’d seen her again I’d known that closure wasn’t what I was looking for. When she’d shown up here today, I’d thought…I’d hoped…
I was an idiot. She might have forgiven me, but she still wasn’t willing to give me a second chance.
We sat there listening to the birds singing overhead for a long moment.
“Sorry about all the attention,” I finally said, because as much as we’d joked about all my apologizing, this was one apology that needed to be said. “I guess I got a little…” Desperate. Panicked. Terrified. “Carried away.”
When I glanced over, I saw her giving me that small smile again, the one that was soft and gentle and sweet. The one that reminded me of home and kindness and unconditional love. My heart ached at the sight of it.
The sound of my phone vibrating on the car hood behind us jarred us both out of the moment, and I reached for it, checked it, and then tucked it in my back pocket, out of sight.
“Bad news?” she asked.
“On the contrary,” I said. “That was my manager telling me how great my little display was for my image.”
She arched her brows in surprise. “He’s glad that America’s favorite bad boy made a fool of himself on stage?”
“Hey.” I pressed a hand to my heart as if I was truly offended. “I wouldn’t say I made a fool of myself.”
“No, you just created a spectacle that millions of people have now witnessed.”
I was relieved to hear that despite her teasing, she didn’t seem all that mad. More amused than anything.
“Yeah, well, my manager thinks this is just what my image needs.” I gave her a sidelong look. “Apparently nothing makes a bad boy more beloved than to see him be rejected by the girl of his dreams.”
She stiffened, her cheeks stained pink. I tried to take some of the edge off of the comment by nudging her like she’d nudged me. “He tells me all the girls are going to be more in love with me than ever.”
She flinched. She wasn’t…she couldn’t be...
I mean, she wasn’t jealous, right?
Still, my words sounded too cocky, and that wasn’t what I’d meant. I’d never once confused fan adoration for real feelings. Only a moron would do that. “I told him I’d rather not have their pity, but all he sees are dollar signs so…” I ended with a helpless shrug.
She just stared straight ahead, and I wiped my hands on my jeans. Crap. Here she’d come to see me to make things right, and I was making a mess of it. It seemed I was doomed to mishandle every interaction with this girl…well, every interaction that didn’t involve kissing.
Kissing we could do.
When she finally looked over at me, I had to wonder if she’d been having similar thoughts because her gaze seemed to catch on my lips before lifting to meet my gaze.
“What are you thinking?” I said.
She heaved a big sigh and gave me a weary smile. “I’m thinking…” She drew in another breath and gave her head a little shake. “I’m thinking how different our worlds are now. How much things have changed for you. I’m thinking…” Her tongue flicked out to wet her lips. “I’m thinking that’s the first time you’ve ever had to ask me what I’m thinking and that makes me realize all the more how much we’ve grown apart.”
I didn’t think, I just reached out for her, my hand covering hers where it rested on her knee. “That’s why I want us to get to know each other again.” A little voice was shouting at me to stop. To let it go. She’d said no, already…multiple times. But I still felt compelled to explain. “I’m not asking you to make any big commitments, Daisy. I don’t want to rush things.”
She turned her head to meet my gaze head-on, and I was pretty sure we were both remembering the way I’d told her I love her.
“Okay, fine. I get that I’ve already rushed things,” I said. “But I don’t mean to rush you. I can’t help how much I feel for you, but I don’t expect you to be on the same page with me…at least, not instantly.” I looked into those perfect green eyes and held her stare. “I just want the chance to get to know you again, and have you get to know me.”
She was silent for a long moment, and I found myself holding my breath.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
She shot me a funny little smile at my utter disbelief. Playing it cool, that was me.
“Does that mean—” I started.
“Can we just…not?” she interrupted.
I furrowed my brows in confusion. “Not what?”
Facing me, she bit her lip, her eyes flickering over my face as if trying to memorize what she saw. “Can we stop agonizing over the past and worrying about the future?” She drew in a deep breath. “For right now can we just enjoy the present?”
Her eyes held a world of emotion, but there was an earnest pleading there that I couldn’t ignore.
“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, of course.”
She turned back to the river where a group of obnoxious teenage boys were drifting toward the rapids in inner tubes. “Ten bucks says they go in.”
I fought a grin. It was the same way she’d started the conversation, and the kind of thing she would have said three years ago.
Watching tourists wipe out as they drifted through our town had been one of the highlights of summer.
I had no doubt these guys would go in—they were barely paying attention. But still I found myself sticking out my hand. “I’ll take that bet, but make it fifty.”
She gave a snort of amusement. “And you say you haven’t changed.”
I grinned. It was true. Once upon a time, fifty bucks might as well have been a thousand. I’d been as poor as dirt before the newfound success.
When the third boy in the group flipped over and was dumped into the water, Daisy let out a whoop of triumph. “You owe me fifty, sucker.”
I laughed as we watched the kid surface and sputter. Making a show of patting down the non-existent front pocket of my T-shirt, I grimaced. “I’m afraid I don’t carry much cash…”
“Are you seriously trying to renege, rich boy?”
I held my hands up in defense, utterly smitten by the easy way she was joking with me. This. This was what I’d missed. “I wouldn’t dream of it, Daisy Lou.”
She pursed her lips at my use of her old nickname. “Not funny.”
“I’ll have my guy write you a check,” I said with a condescending sniff.
She rolled her eyes. “Right. Like I’d just believe you’re good for it.”
I glanced over and saw her grinning. The sight made me feel lighter than I’d felt in years.
“So,” she said, shifting to face me. “Tell me about your life.”
“What do you want to know?”
Her lips curved up, slow and sweet. “Everything.”
I leaned forward slightly, resisting the overwhelming urge to kiss her again. Patience. “I’ll tell you my life story if you tell me yours.”
Her eyes danced with laughter. “Deal.”
The next two hours flew by as we caught each other up on the good times and the bad, the wins and the losses, the grief and the success. We made each other laugh, and we both teared up when she told me about the funeral and the days and months after her mom died.
It was the best conversation I’d had in years. Maybe my whole life.
And then it was over.
She looked down at her phone and let out a sigh. “I should get going. I’ve got to coordinate the volunteers for tonight, and you—”
“Should head to the final rehearsal,” I finished. We were both silent for a second, and I was pretty sure we were both disappointed to have to call an end to this moment.
But…
That hope came rearing back in full force. Sure, she’d told me we didn’t have a future before, but maybe that was because I’d tried to rush it. There was no way she couldn’t see what a great fit we still were after this afternoon.
“Will I see you at the concert?” I asked as she slid down the hood and landed on her feet.
“Of course.” Her voice was normal but she didn’t quite meet my eyes.
The Man, The Myth, The Nerd: High School Billionaires #3 Page 11
