by Noelle Adams
“What did he say?”
“He was angry. And territorial. I don’t blame him. I think it…got in the way of our relationship.”
Zoe released a long breath. “I wish it hadn’t.”
“I wish it hadn’t too. But things were starting to get better between us, at the end. He must have realized I was never going to act on my feelings, that I respected him and you and your marriage. It was…it was better near the end.”
She kissed his shoulder. “I’m glad.”
She wasn’t sure she should push for more information, since this was such a sensitive topic.
But after a few minutes, Adam said without prompting, “He asked me to take care of you and Logan.”
“I know,” she said, swallowing hard. “You told me.”
“He told me that, no matter what it took, I should make sure you and Logan were happy.”
Thinking about her husband, so sick and weak at the end of his life, saying such a thing, Zoe shook in a few silent sobs.
“I told him that would always be my first priority,” Adam said, his voice hoarser than it should have been. “I think he believed me.”
“He did,” Zoe choked. “I’m sure he did.”
They didn’t say anything else. They just held each other until they went to sleep.
And, when she woke up the next morning, Zoe got to tell Logan that Uncle Lala was moving in with them for good.
Epilogue
“Hi, Dada,” Logan said, his brown eyes wide and earnest and a dribble of juice dotting his tan t-shirt. “F’ows for you.”
When Zoe gave him an encouraging smile and nod, Logan leaned over and meticulously placed a little bunch of daisies on the grave, just near the stone marker. He’d picked the daisies out himself from the flower market earlier because he’d loved the bright yellow color.
After admiring the placement of his flowers, Logan turned back to look up at Zoe again. “Dada love Lo-gen,” he said. He was just repeating words she told him every time they visited Josh’s grave, but she thought maybe he understood them.
If he didn’t yet, she knew one day he would. And she hoped it would mean something to him that his father had loved him so much.
“Yes,” she said, stooping down beside the little boy so she was on his level. “Your daddy loved you. He can’t be with us anymore, but he loved you more than anything.”
Logan stared at her face, as if he were mulling over this piece of information. Then he gave a little nod and launched himself at her in a hug, almost knocking her over from her unsteady crouch. “Momma love!”
Zoe laughed and hugged the boy back. “Yes, Mommy loves you too.”
When she released him, Logan turned around, his face beaming with his smile. He bounced a few steps over and gave Adam’s legs an enthusiastic embrace. “Un-cla Lala love!”
Adam was smiling, with something soft in his eyes, something he rarely expressed outside the walls of their home. He reached down and lifted Logan up, hugging him so tightly Zoe was afraid it might hurt the boy. “Yes, I love you too.”
Logan giggled with good spirits. When he started to wriggle, Adam let him down and he began running circles around the grave.
Zoe didn’t mind. She didn’t want Logan to feel like the cemetery where his father was buried was a sober, intimidating, or unnatural place. It was very early on a Sunday morning, and no one else was around.
Logan could play if he wanted to.
“Pine-kines?” Logan asked, gesturing enthusiastically toward a copse of trees not far away.
Zoe chuckled. “Yes, you can go find some pinecones if you want.”
“See if you can find a really big one for me,” Adam added. He looked adorable and just slightly geeky in his wrinkled khakis and camp shirt.
Thrilled with this mission, Logan took off at a run toward the trees, falling once on his way but simply hefting himself up and continuing his spring, almost without pausing.
Zoe straightened up and stepped back so she was standing next to Adam. When he handed her the bunch of white tulips he’d been holding for her, she stepped over to lay them on the grave next to Logan’s yellow daisies. She looked at the two bunches of flowers, the colors bright against the dirt. Then she kissed the tips of her fingers and pressed them gently on the stone marker.
On the marker was engraved Josh's name and the years of his life. And beneath it was one word. “Loved.”
A tear had streamed down her cheek when she got up to stand next to Adam again. He watched her face closely and reached out to brush the tear away with his thumb.
“You don’t mind, do you?” she asked, leaning against him and warmed when he wrapped one arm around her. “That we come here with Logan?”
“Of course not. Of course I don’t mind.”
“And it doesn’t bother you that Logan doesn’t call you Daddy?” she asked, peering up at his face. After holding back for so long, Adam would always be slightly reserved, and she tried very hard to make sure he wasn’t troubled by things he didn’t want to tell her.
He shook his head and leaned down to brush a kiss against her hair. And, as he spoke, his eyes were on Logan who had collected a whole armful of pinecones. “No. It really doesn't.”
“You know he loves you and looks at you like a father. We’re a family for real.” She looked down at ring—a diamond solitaire on an engraved platinum band—that Adam had given her last week with a proposal of marriage. She couldn't help but smile at the sight of the ring on her hand.
But then she added, “I just don’t want Josh to be…to be forgotten.”
“Zoe, I understand. I’ve always understood. I’m happy as things are. I loved Josh too.”
She wrapped her arms around him, her heart almost too full to bear, but she was smiling when she pulled out of the hug. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”
Adam’s eyes warmed deliciously. “I’d have no objections to your telling me again. Or showing me, for that matter.”
She chuckled and stretched up to kiss him. “The showing will have to wait until later.”
Adam gave a huff of warm amusement as they walked together toward where Logan was running to them with so many pinecones they kept spilling over his arms.
“Are you ready to go get on Uncle Adam’s sailboat?” Zoe asked, pitching her voice to convey excitement. It was the first time Logan would be sailing with them, and she really hoped he’d enjoy it.
Logan stopped in his tracks, so abruptly it was almost comical. “Say-boat!” he exclaimed, throwing up his hands in anticipation and, in the process, tossing all of his collected pinecones so they fell in a prickly downfall around him.
The three of them started back toward the car, and Logan reached up for Adam’s hand. Zoe glanced back at the bright flowers on her first husband’s grave.
He’d died two years ago today.
Adam had paused when she’d glanced over her shoulder, waiting for her to turn back. And, when she did, he reached out without speaking and slid his arm around her waist as they walked.
Then, “Do you know which ancient culture first invented the sailboat?” Adam asked.
“Say-boat!” Logan’s happy voice burst in echo.
Zoe couldn’t help but laugh, knowing they were whole, healed—with no more holding back—at last.
About the Author
Noelle handwrote her first romance novel in a spiral-bound notebook when she was twelve, and she hasn’t stopped writing since. She has lived in eight different states and currently resides in Virginia, where she teaches English, reads any book she can get her hands on, and offers tribute to a very spoiled cocker spaniel.
She loves travel, art, history, and ice cream. After spending far too many years of her life in graduate school, she has decided to reorient her priorities and focus on writing contemporary romances. For more information, please check out her website: noelle-adams.com
Table of Contents
One
Two
&nbs
p; Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Epilogue
