With that confession, his hands are in my hair and his lips are on mine. "After this, I won't let you go, Jaz, you'll be mine."
His hands run down my sides and goose bumps break out across my skin, his fingertips gripping the hem of my shirt, lifting it slowly over my head like he’s unveiling a prize. When the cool air hits my heated skin, I fight the instinct to cover my body and shield myself from his eyes. As his hands slip my bra straps down my arms a shiver runs through me and as it falls to the ground between us, his eyes go liquid, his fingers tracing circles over my collarbone, up my neck and back down. The touch is reverent; gentle yet with the promise of so much more. When he hooks the belt loops of my jeans and hesitates, silent questions flood the room.
“I’m okay.”
My breath leaves me in short bursts, as he slides the pants down my legs, taking my panties with them, allowing his fingers to casually brush the skin, like every touch doesn’t make my body beat in anticipation. I have never been this eager before. Never wanted the touch of another person so badly that I found myself leaning toward them, begging them with my eyes to carry on. I’m not a virgin, but it feels like this is the first time. This is how it should have been. The want, the need, the desire—everything I grew up reading in magazines. It’s all here, in this moment with him.
And when I’m naked in front of him, scars on view, I don’t feel shame. I feel beautiful. I feel loved.
His gaze runs up and down my body. “You’re perfect.” His strong voice rumbles sending chills through me.
He makes quick work of removing his clothes. My eyes widen at the sight of him, every inch sculpted in a way I wouldn't think you'd see in real life. The tattoos on his chest are almost mesmerizing as I stare at them.
Cutter’s hands grip my hips, his mouth pressing against mine as he maneuvers me backward.
My legs hit the bed and I sit down.
“Move back.”
I do as he says and the bed dips as his legs frame mine, his body casting a shadow over me. Kisses rain down on my neck and I arch from the pull it causes throughout the rest of my body. His hand cups my breast rolling the nipple between his fingers as I groan from his touch. Another hand slides down my stomach, slowly making its way to the place that’s screaming for him, and when he’s finally there, stroking me lightly before his fingers dip into me, my hands fist the sheets beneath me.
“Don’t hold anything in. I want to hear what I do to you.”
His fingers start to speed up, his thumb slowly circling my clit.
It’s not enough.
I need more.
I push myself into his hands, bucking my hips, my muscles tightening as his mouth closes over my nipple, and when he starts to run fast circles at my most sensitive point, I fall over the edge, screaming his name.
Over.
And over.
My breath is fast as I try to recover from the intense sensations still pulsating through me. Every part of my body is alive. Every nerve dances, every muscle twitches. When I open my eyes, I see only the top of Cutter’s head, his face between my legs.
“You smell so damn good. I’m gonna bet you taste even better.”
His tongue runs over me and my hips arch off the mattress. A rumble echoes through his chest, the vibration shooting through my core. With gentle pressure on the inside of my knees my hips fall open, exposing me completely to him, allowing his tongue to lave around the little bud of nerves again and again until I’m breathless. Strung out. Strong hands grip my hips, holding me down so I’m completely at his mercy, but the fear I expect doesn’t arrive.
I’m safe with him.
He dips his tongue inside of me, the alternating blissful torture between that and my clit causing my muscles to contract as my body tightens. With each quickening, I feel myself building and as I tip over the edge, I yell out once more and feel him licking me through my orgasm.
When he sits up, his face is glistening. “Jesus, I could do that to you all goddamn day.” He inches closer, his hands slowly rubbing my thighs. “As much as I want this to last, you gotta know I’ve wanted you since the day you walked into the club. I’ve been dreaming of taking you in my bed. Just know that you’re mine and I’m never letting you go.”
He leans down, kissing me, and I feel him at my opening. When he pushes into me I gasp, my hands gripping his shoulders. A bead of sweat runs down his bicep, his arms shaking either side of me, his face contorted in a mixture of pleasure and pain as he asks, “You okay?”
“I want this. I’m not scared. I know you wouldn’t hurt me. I trust you.”
He starts to move and at first it burns, then the burn turns into jolts of ecstasy as he moves inside of me. My nails dig into his skin.
“Fuck, you feel so good, babe.” His voice warms my neck and I turn my head wanting to kiss him. I decide to try and be the girl that I want to be. I lift my hands placing them on the side of his face and bringing his lips to mine.
The build starts once more and as much as I want it, I don’t know if I’ll survive another. His slow movements, caressing me in a place that I haven’t felt good in so long. I relax, letting him take me and enjoying the way he feels as he does it.
Cutter moves, lifting my legs higher, changing the angle so he slides deeper into me. A keening moan leaves my lips. How can this feel so good? His hand glides down my body, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. He stops at my clit, his thumb slowly stroking it back and forth until I arch my back, accepting him deeper into me.
I feel myself start to tighten around him and scream as I come.
Within a few second he lets out a guttural sound and I feel him tense. He lies down beside me, brushing a stray hair out of my face, tucking it away, his finger stroking the curve of my ear. “Better than I thought it could be.”
Words fail me. I am spent. Exhausted. I have nothing left to give. All I can do is hum in agreement as my body tries to recuperate.
With Cutter curled into my side, his voice whispering in my ear, his arm draped protectively across my stomach, I drift off, feeling complete and totally content.
***
I place my order with the waiter and laugh at the little joke he makes.
That’s when the fingers resting on my thigh start to dig their nails into my flesh.
I keep from crying out but my eyes are welling with tears from the pain.
The waiter gives me a small smile before walking away.
“You little slut,” he whispers in my ear. “Fucking flirting with that asshole right in front of me. Don’t you know that he has no interest in a pathetic weak woman like you? No one would. I’m the only person who would tolerate your constant fuck-ups.”
He grabs my hand and shoves it down his pants. "Get me off right here, right now. Show me why I should keep you around. I can guarantee you if you don't perform well, you'll be out on your ass. Homeless and living on the streets where you belong. No one would ever take you in, men can sense weakness and failure. Sweetheart, you fucking reek of it.”
I do as he says knowing that he’s right. I have never been able to please Dylan. I always mess something up and one day I am sure that he will get sick of me. I need to keep trying to be better, be perfect.
I jolt awake.
I reach out but find nothing but cold sheets. I look around the dark room, feeling alone and wondering why he left. Before I jump to conclusions like I normally would, I grab some pants out of the dresser and then in a move that is much more Jaz than Jasmine, take one of his shirts. It smells like him as I slip it over my head, I breathe deep, loving the fact that his scent is so familiar to me.
It’s quiet when I creep out of his room and I head downstairs to find him. The room is mostly empty, but a few people are hanging around the bar, drinking and talking. The jukebox is playing a mellow, slower tune. I tread on something soft, and lift my foot slowly to see what it is.
A bra.
I’m not even going to think about how that makes me feel. I step off th
e last stair, my eyes searching the room for Cutter.
I freeze.
He’s pulled on a T-shirt and jeans, but wears only socks on his feet. The shirt he has on is wrinkled. It’s clear it’s been snatched up off the floor. He’s sitting at the bar with one of the other guys, but that’s not what sets me on edge.
One of the club girls is standing on his other side, her hand resting on his arm, her long manicured nails dragging up and down his skin, her overly made-up eyes firmly on him. Someone must say something funny because she throws her head back and laughs like a three-year-old, her eyes coming to land on me. She smiles, and I’m about to return it when she leans down, bringing her bright red lips to Cutter’s ear, whispering something to him.
Jealousy and anger fill my body. My chest feels like someone has just taken a whip to my heart.
They give you any shit, you give it back. If you don’t, they’ll walk all over you, and they’ll be assholes about it.
This is going to take every ounce of confidence I have, but Cutter is worth it. What we’re building is worth it. Taking a deep breath, I walk up to the bar. Her eyes haven’t left me since the stairs so I know she sees me. There’s about four feet between Cutter and me when she leans in and licks her lips.
Oh hell no.
All thoughts of remaining calm go out the window as I bolt the last few steps, reach out, grab a handful of the slut’s hair, and drag her away from Cutter.
She yelps, her talons clawing at me, trying to get in a swipe, but I use momentum to swing her in the direction of the pool tables. The commotion draws attention to us, and the men turn in their seats. By the time she gets to her feet, I’m standing in between her and Cutter.
“You little bitch, I just got my fucking hair done!” She adopts a screechy tone that I swear only dogs could hear.
“You should get your money back ’cause it looks like crap.” I cross my arms over my chest, trying to hide how quick I’m breathing.
“Oh, you’re gonna pay for that.”
She kicks off her heels and charges toward me. I step back with one foot, bracing, but before she can get close, Cutter intervenes.
"Venus, back the fuck off. You got what was comin' to you. In fact, you're lucky Jaz stepped in because a second later and I was gonna throw your ass out of here. I already told you to stay the fuck away from me.” He turns to me and smiles. “Hey, gorgeous.”
I breathe a sigh of relief knowing that he had already told her to back off. Seeing her hands on him hurt. In only a short time I’ve had to learn a lot, and it scared me that he’d be one of the guys who still messes around, even after he claims someone.
Venus looks like she’s going to say something, but then turns, snatches up her heels and stomps off. Another one of the club girls looks back and forth between us before racing after her.
Looks like I’ve made two new friends tonight.
Cutter turns toward me. “I think I’m gonna like this new you.” He kisses me. “She’s feisty.”
I laugh at his expression. “I woke up and you were gone.”
“Yeah, I got a text and had to come down and go over a few things. I was actually gonna head back up once I finished with Wrench.” He nods back toward the bar and I see the guy he was sitting with. He lifts a chin at me and I smile back.
“Should I not have come down?” I don’t know the rules of being an old lady. I know the girls said you don’t get to know club business. Maybe I should have stayed where he left me?
His hands rest on my hips and pull me close to him. “You’re mine now. That means that this is your second home. Feel free to go where you want. The only place that’s off-limits is the back room. That’s where we have church. No women allowed. I want you to be comfortable here.” His head dips and rests against mine. “The club has some shit going on right now. With that, and Dylan still being out there, we’re gonna have to stay here until everything calms down. Okay?”
“Um, sure. Do any of the other girls live here?” I look around but see no familiar faces.
“Izzy usually mans our bar when she isn’t at Ambrosia. Whip and Lucy are staying here like we are. They’ve got the kids, Anna and Jimmy, with them. They’re hell on wheels, but you’ll love them. Torch and Tracie and their girl. Add in Nikki and Twisted with their boy, and this place is about to get crazy.” His eyes widen as he shakes his head.
I can’t help but laugh.
“Let’s get back upstairs and get some sleep. Everyone’s arriving tomorrow so we’ll need our rest.”
He calls good-night to the stragglers then steers me back upstairs, his hand on the small of my back. I wrap an arm around his waist enjoying the fact that this could be my new life.
My new start.
Chapter Twenty
Cutter
Her eyes are closed, and her head is resting on my chest. A part of me can’t believe that she let me in the way she did. Having her was more than I thought it could be. It ignited a need for her I never thought possible.
The club has been my life for the longest time. If ever they need me, I’m there. No questions. No delay. Last night, watching her sleep off the orgasms I gave her, I’m almost ashamed to admit I almost didn’t go back downstairs. Even now, with her lying on me, it isn't enough. I want to be buried in her, taking her in a way that no one else ever will. Claiming her and reveling in the fact that she’s mine. It's an overwhelming, all-consuming, intense craving. You hear people talk about it and you can’t help but think they’re making shit up. Nothing can change you that much.
It can.
I’m living proof.
Wrench still can’t get a lock on Dylan. It’s like he fucking vanished, which would be perfect if it could stay like that, but I grew up knowing that shit doesn’t stay perfect until you make it that way. Don’t leave loose ends. That’s the shit that will fuck you up.
My arms tighten instinctively. I need to keep her safe.
My phone vibrates and I roll away from her, grabbing it off the end table.
Lucy: That package you’ve been waiting on just came :-)
It’s about damn time.
Jaz’s eyes open slowly. “Hi.”
“Hey.” I place a kiss on her lips, knowing I’ll never tire of the way it feels.
"Everything okay?"
“Everyone’s starting to arrive. I need to head down, but if you wanna hang for a while you can.”
“I’ll come down.” She smiles at me.
When she got into it with Venus last night, I was shocked as hell. With as tame and held back as she's been, I didn't for one second think she would go after her like that. It felt good, though, having her stand up to a chick who was stepping out of line. I’d already told her to beat it once, but if there’s one thing to know about club girls, it’s that they’re persistent.
“I think we might have to bring over more of my things from the apartment.”
“I’ll stop by today and grab stuff for you. I don’t want you back there until shit is figured out.” I run my hand through her hair. “For right now, you can’t leave here unless someone is with you. Before your wheels start turning, it’s nothing like your past. Shit’s brewing and all the girls have the same instructions.”
I get out of bed and tug on my clothes from last night, wanting to get downstairs and check out my package before she comes down. “I’ll meet you down there, babe.”
“Okay, I’m going to get a shower then I’ll be down.” She smiles at me and I fight the urge to jump back into bed with her. She must spot something in my eye because she crawls over the bed, drawing me to her with this look in her eye I can’t ignore. As soon as I’m close enough she grabs the hem of my T-shirt and pulls me the rest of the way, her lips taking mine. It’s one of the first times she’s taken my lips, and my dick twitches.
I pull back, shooting her an amused glare. “I need to get out of here before I spend all day under the sheets with you.”
She laughs as I shake my head and walk out the
door.
The clubhouse is chaos. With the brothers moving their girls and families in, I’m tripping over bodies left, right, and center. Pres didn't call for a mandatory lockdown but we all took him seriously when he said we needed to be careful. Through the crowd of people by the bar, I catch sight of Lucy, holding a box, a huge smile plastered on her face. When I walk over, she’s almost bouncing with excitement.
“What can I say, I love this part!” She laughs. “You giving it to her now? I heard some of the brothers from the Dark Knights will be staying here tonight because they’re on a long run. T asked me to make extra food so they can eat when they get in. Now, I guess there will be a party, too.” She winks at me, opening the box for me to remove Jaz’s patch.
"I'm giving it to her now. If we have another club coming here, she'll need it." All girls in the house are up for grabs unless they have a property patch. The club girls know that being here means that they agree to service all brothers so they really don't have the option to deny one, but an old lady is off-limits. There are certain things that are held sacred in an MC. Leaving another man’s old lady alone is a hard and fast rule, and one that’s rarely broken. I say a silent thank you that this got here in time for Jaz to wear it.
I can tell when she walks into the room. It’s almost like my body is so connected to her that I don’t even need to see her to know that she’s close. I hold the jacket behind my back and turn toward the stairs. Even with as many people here as there are, as she walks down the steps, I see my brothers’ eyes following her. It pisses me off, but I get a sense of pride at the same time.
They want what you have, I think to myself, and they’ll never fucking get it.
“Hey, you weren’t kidding when you said it’d be busy down here.” She smiles and then looks behind me at Lucy. “Hey.” Lucy is wearing one of the biggest smiles I’ve ever seen. It’s a good job I wasn’t hoping to keep this a secret because Lucy would have given the fucking game away. Jaz looks between us. “What’s going on?”
Mayhem (Deathstalkers MC Book 5) Page 14
