Just then, the front doorbell rang, signaling an arrival. “I’ll get that,” she told Mrs. Lester. “It’s probably Frederic back from his walk.” At least she hoped so. His odd goodbye continued to plague her. “Would you mind writing down your recipe so I can take it back with me?”
“Of course I can,” Mrs. Lester replied. “Soon as I finish breakfast, I’ll do it. Oh, and if that is a guest, let them know the rooms don’t turn over until after twelve. They can leave their luggage in the tea room.”
“Will do.” Piper had to laugh. Apparently, over the weekend she’d become an employee, only no one told her.
It was Frederic, all right. He stood at the base of the stairs, staring down at his shoes. As lost and distant as she had ever seen him.
Don’t overreact. There could be lots of reasons why he didn’t go to the kitchen himself.
“Did you get what you needed from the store?” she asked him.
“No. I didn’t go.”
He didn’t? Where had he been, then? As she stepped closer, Piper saw his hand had the banister in a vise grip. His was squeezing the wood so hard his knuckles were white.
“I’ve got a headache,” he said. “I’m going to lie down.”
“I’ll go with you.” She hurried to catch up with him, her fingers brushing his elbow as she reached the bottom step.
Frederic stiffened at her touch. “No,” he told her. “I don’t need anyone keeping me company.” With one hand on the wall and one hand on the rail, he walked slowly upstairs.
Her stomach felt as if it had been kicked.
Pushing her fear aside, she headed upstairs to find out what happened.
She found Frederic sitting on the edge of the unmade bed, staring into space. His head didn’t so much as turn when she closed the door. “I thought you were going to lie down.”
“I changed my mind.”
“Would you like me to see if Mrs. Lester has any aspirin?”
“No, thank you. I will be fine.”
The change in his voice frightened her. Last night’s warmth had disappeared in favor of a tone so polite and distant it hurt her ears. She hadn’t heard him use that voice since the days when she first started work. Back when they’d been strangers.
Where was the man who was whispering sweet nothings in the dark a few hours ago? She raced through everything they said and did yesterday, wondering what could have happened to make him disappear so abruptly.
Oh, no... Not that. It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours...
“It’s your eyes, isn’t it?”
Frederic stood up, only to stand stock-still, as if he wasn’t sure where to go. “Yes.”
“Oh, Frederic.” It wasn’t fair. She hugged him from behind, holding him as tightly as possible. Letting him know best she could that he wasn’t alone, and that he could lean on her in any way he needed to. Frederic’s body was rigid. Even with their bodies pressed together, it felt as if he were a million miles away. He was in shock. Who could blame him? Even the most prepared man would need time to adjust.
“Everything will be all right,” she told him. Ignoring the hairs rising on the back of her neck, she kissed his shoulder blade. “I’m here, and I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”
For a moment, she felt Frederic’s body relax as he leaned against her. Before the moment could take hold, however, he stepped away, leaving her standing alone at the foot of the bed.
“I have to pack,” he said. “Can you let Mrs. Lester know we’re checking out?”
It couldn’t have sounded more like she was being dismissed if he had tried.
CHAPTER NINE
IT WAS LATE when they returned to Paris. Frederic called ahead to his doctor, and the man met them at the hospital. To run tests, he said. Personally Frederic thought it a waste of time. What would a battery of tests show that his eyes couldn’t tell him already?
Now that the shock had time to wear off, he was coming to terms with his new reality: his vision had deteriorated again, and while he wasn’t completely blind, he was much, much closer. The translucent film draping his view wasn’t going away. He would never see sharply again. Only a matter of time before he woke up and his sight was gone forever.
He always knew this day would come—the day he moved another step closer to blindness. His eyes getting worse had always been a matter of when, not if. He only hoped to have more time. With Piper, that is.
Frederic closed his eyes. After the catastrophe in the village, he had managed to rally fairly well. Until Saint Pancras station with its crowds and low lighting. The confusion made his head pound. If not for Piper playing guide dog... Watch your step. Turn left. Wait here. Her voice echoed in his ear, steady and soft. Like the woman herself. A calm in his storm.
It was so easy to hand over control. Terrifyingly so. More terrifying was the security he felt when she linked her arm with his. He followed her lead with complete trust, knowing that if something went wrong, she would be by his side.
Finally, after all these years, he understood how his father had become so needy. Surrendering control—the peace that came from surrendering control, that is—was addictive. Why not let someone else carry the burden, especially when they offered things like goodness and light in return?
He couldn’t do that to Piper. Life had dragged her down enough.
At least he would always have yesterday at the abbey.
The sound of sandals flapping caused his pulse to speed up. He already knew the sound of her walk, he thought dejectedly. So much for his goal of a quick, unencumbered affair.
The curtain drew back. “You’ve got to love Paris. The hospital cafeteria has better pastries than most American bakeries. I brought you a croissant. Do you want it in front of you or...?”
“Leave it on the side table.”
“Are you sure? You haven’t eaten all day.”
“I think I would know if I was hungry.” The words came out far sharper than he meant. She had no idea her kindness made things worse. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean...”
“You’ve had a long day.”
“So have you.”
“I’ll live.”
“It’s late. You should go back to the house.”
“Not so late,” she said, pulling one of the plastic chairs closer to the bed. The metal legs scraped against the floor with a loud squeak. “At some point, Dr. Doucette will release you, and we’ll go home together.”
The idea of the two of them as a team left Frederic warm all over. Another warning bell. “I’d rather you left now. I’ll have Michel drive me home later.”
“Don’t be silly. I’m sure Dr. Doucette will be here very soon.”
“Piper, I want you to go.” This time, he didn’t mince words.
There was no mistaking Piper’s confusion. “You don’t want me here?”
Exactly the opposite. Frederic wanted her by his side so badly it hurt. “I think it would be a good idea if you left,” he told her.
“I see.”
For several minutes, she stared at the floor. Frederic assumed she was angry, and after she’d taken a couple long, clearing breaths, she would leave. Thus, when her hand settled over his, he started. “You’re not alone,” she said. “You know that, right?”
That was the whole point. He wasn’t, but if he was any kind of decent human being, he would be. He should have never pursued her in the first place. But no, he’d been selfish, thinking with his desire, not with his head. Warmth spread up Frederic’s arm, mocking his already-aching heart. If he let her stay, he would lean on her. And lean, and lean and lean.
He would never let her go.
“Please go, Piper. You are not obligated to stay here.” Painful as it was, he tried to pull his fingers free of her grip. She surprised him by holding on
with ferocity, as though she was the person leaning on him.
“Yes, I am,” she said. “I know we haven’t been together very long, but I...”
“Don’t.” He didn’t want her to say something that couldn’t be forgotten. A sentiment that would make the inevitable that much harder.
Forcing his voice to stay as even as possible, he said the words that really needed to be said. “We had a good time together, but we both knew from the start that this was a short-term relationship. No promises.”
“No strings. Thanks for reminding me.” At last, she yanked her hand free, the loss of contact traveling straight to his chest. “Funny how you decided tonight is the perfect night to cut me loose. Here I thought that after last night... What happened to having an unforgettable couple of months?”
Frederic dropped his gaze to the sheet. Ironic that even with his deteriorated vision, he couldn’t look her in the eye. He knew that even the gauzy haze couldn’t obliterate the hurt he would see there. “Last night we were both carried away. Now that I have had a chance to think clearly, I’ve come to realize that the longer we continue this affair, the harder goodbye will be. We should make things easy by ending it while we both have happy memories.”
“Easy on who? Me or you?”
“Both of us.”
She let out a derisive snort. “Right.”
The chair legs scraped across the linoleum as she stood up. Her sandals made angry slaps as she paced the floor. “Tell me something, Frederic. Would you have come to this decision if you hadn’t woken up this morning with your eye problem?”
Denying the truth would only insult her. “No.”
“I didn’t think so. Honestly, do you think I care that your eyes got worse?”
“I care.” And while she might not now, she would come to resent it, and by extension, him. “I would rather you remember me fondly.”
“No problem. Dumping me is the perfect way to do that.”
“Better I dump you than drag you down.”
“Drag me...? Is that what you think would happen?”
It was what he knew would happen. Last night he had promised her romance. “It’s not very romantic if your lover can’t see.”
“Except as you’ve pointed out many times, you can.”
“But at some point I won’t. Today was a reminder of that fact. That is why we would be smart to end things now. Before either of us gets too attached.” He refused to listen to the voice telling him it was too late.
“What if I don’t want to? End it, that is.”
Frederic sighed. Stubborn woman. He accepted that this was the way it was supposed to be; why couldn’t she?
His eyes searched the room until he found her standing near the foot of his bed. Staring straight at her, he spoke with great deliberation, to make sure she understood. “You don’t have a choice. This is for the best.”
“Says you.”
She didn’t move. She stood at the foot of the bed, with her eyes bearing down on him. Frederic could feel their wounded glare. “You’re wrong, you know. You wouldn’t drag me down.”
You say that now... “I have no doubt my mother said the same thing to my father.” And look how well that turned out. A woman so broken from taking care of the man, she wasn’t able to live a life for herself. A son who grew up never respecting the man who fathered him. “I’m not going to be selfish enough to make the same mistake.” Not with Piper or anyone else.
“Even though you can see, and I’m scheduled to go back to Boston in a couple months.”
They both knew if their affair continued, he wouldn’t be able to let her return to Boston. The feelings between them were already deeper than a mere affair. “Even though,” he replied.
Through his haze, he saw that Piper was trembling; she was fighting to keep herself from crying. Keeping her pride. Admiration swelled in his chest, along with deeper, unmentionable emotions. Someday she would thank him.
“You deserve nothing but the best, Piper.” He meant every blessed word.
“Go to hell.”
Frederic listened to the slap of her sandals until he couldn’t hear them anymore before giving in to the frustration gnawing at his insides and punching at the bed as hard as he could. As moments went, this was not his finest.
I did the right thing. What would prolonging the affair do other than make the pain of saying goodbye worse? At least this way, her heart wasn’t so damaged it wouldn’t heal. She would meet someone else, a man who wouldn’t grow to need her quite so much.
Dammit! His chest felt as if someone had torn it open. Who knew you could fall so hard so fast?
He should have. He should have realized it the other night in his kitchen when his body was on fire and his head was warning him that Piper wasn’t like other women. All he could do was dream of making love to her. This... He punched the bed again, this time hitting the side rail so hard it rattled. This was his punishment for being selfish.
At least he would have a lifetime of solitude to get over his mistake.
“Is everything all right?” A nurse suddenly appeared in the doorway from which Piper just left. “Monsieur, do you need anything?”
Frederic stared blankly at the space across the room. “No,” he replied. “I don’t need anything.”
* * *
Better to break things off before either of us becomes too attached, Frederic had said.
Too late. Piper made it as far as the taxi before giving in to her tears. The driver stared at her through his rearview mirror as tears streamed down her face.
“Mademoiselle?” he asked in a soft voice. “Are you all right?”
“Fine,” she replied, sniffling.
A moment later, the safety glass slid back and he handed her a tissue through the opening. Seeing it reminded her of how Frederic offered her a paper towel, and she burst into a fresh batch. “Thank you,” she managed to choke out between sniffs.
Damn Frederic Lafontaine. Why couldn’t he have left her alone and miserable? Why did he have to decide to get involved in her art search and make her fall for him? Now instead of lonely and miserable, she was brokenhearted and miserable.
Here she thought living in Paris couldn’t feel worse.
She blew her nose. Frederic was wrong, too. Two days, eight weeks—the length of their affair didn’t matter because she had already fallen in deep. What she felt for him went way beyond lust or romantic fantasy. She loved him. With all her soul. Blind, sighted, purple, green, two-headed...none of that mattered. The part she loved was inside. The tender, intelligent man who loved art and history, and who made her feel as though she could do anything.
Stupid her, she thought Frederic felt the same. Really stupid her, she still thought it.
Surely she didn’t imagine the feelings between them last night. Frederic said himself that they would still be together had his eyes not gotten worse this morning.
All because of his parents. Why was it that parents always screwed things up for their kids? Her mom’s leaving Patience and her to survive on their own. Frederic’s parents’ making him think his disease was better suffered alone. If Frederic’s parents were alive, she’d kill them for turning their son into a self-sacrificing idiot. Why couldn’t he see that he wasn’t like his father? The Frederic she knew was far too strong to let blindness beat him, if and when he finally lost his sight.
So what now? Suck it up and soldier on as she always did? How was she supposed to go back to being Frederic’s housekeeper after the last two days? Simply being in the same room as him made her pulse race. No way could she live in the same house.
She’d have to move out, she realized, letting out a sigh. Move out and find some place cheap to finish out the term. Great. Twenty-four hours ago she was wrapped in Frederic’s arms, listening to him sleep and d
reaming of the days ahead. Now she was on the brink of homelessness with nothing to look forward to but days filled with being lectured by Chef Despelteau.
She wished she’d never come to Paris.
Who was she kidding? If she hadn’t come to Paris, she wouldn’t have met Frederic, and lousy as she felt, she wouldn’t have traded the past five days for anything.
Then fight for them. Patience’s voice was loud in her head. Figure out a way to fix the situation.
Her sister was right. Wasn’t the whole point of coming to Paris so that she could achieve her dreams? Frederic was part of those dreams now.
She wasn’t walking away without a fight.
CHAPTER TEN
SHE WAS IN the kitchen waiting on a pan of brownies when Frederic finally returned home. “What are you doing?” he asked.
The day had been hard on him. His face was pale and drawn, with dark circles under his eyes. She moved to take him in her arms, then stopped. Any compassion she offered would only get rejected.
She returned to the sink and the bowl she was washing out. “Making brownies. They’ll be ready in a few minutes if you want to wait.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”
“Where else would I be? This is my job. Unless I’m fired, too,” she added, turning the bowl upside down.
From behind her, she heard him let out a long sigh. “Why would you want to stay?”
For you. “Because I’ve already done homeless once in my life. I don’t feel like doing it again.”
“I wouldn’t let that happen. I’ll pay for you to stay at a hotel or find a new apartment.”
“Would you find me a new job, too?”
“We would find some kind of arrangement.”
“Wonderful. In other words, you’ll pay me to stay away.” The oven timer rang. “If it’s all the same to you, I’ll finish out my contract here,” she said, reaching for the oven mitt.
“I know what you’re doing,” he said. “Staying won’t make me change my mind.”
“Then it shouldn’t be a problem for you.” Dropping the pan of brownies on the cooling rack, she waited for him to mount a new argument. Dared him to.
Beauty & Her Billionaire Boss Page 13
