by Yessi Smith
Incapable of slowing down and exploring, I slam into her, grunting until we both find our release. I roll over, taking Erin with me so that she is lying on my stomach.
“Chewbacca sex,” she says kissing my chest. “It never gets old.”
I grin and let out a roar just so I can hear her laugh in response. Erin rests her head on my chest and falls asleep while I caress her bare back.
Chapter 13
Trent
Erin wakes up slowly and I watch her eyes flutter open until they rest on me and she smiles.
“I’ve missed you,” I tell her and by the intensity on her face, I know she feels the same way.
She leans her face towards me until our lips meet, a passionate entanglement of lips and tongue. I touch her bare back which she arches, practically purring at the contact, and I switch our positions so that she is lying flat on her back. Still driven by desire, I touch her, skin on skin, as we begin our dance once again.
“I love you, Erin,” I tell her, my eyes gripping hers so that she doesn’t shut them.
“I love you too, Trent,” she says.
I lower my lips to hers and she closes her eyes. “Keep them open,” I tell her. “I want you to see just how much I love you. How much I need you.”
She clings to my back, her eyes steadily on me, as I take her slowly. I want her to feel me, every part of me that I am draining into her. I need her to know that without her I am nothing. With every movement, I am not only proclaiming my love, but my regrets.
With her arms around my neck, she lifts her face so that she can kiss me. Already I am losing control and when she whispers my name, silent as a prayer, I shudder and collapse on top of her.
I get up so that I don’t squish Erin any longer, but she wraps her arms around me, pulling me closer to her.
“Stay,” she says so I do.
Her fingers run circles on my back, slow, rhythmic and, because she’s Erin, purposeful. She has a pattern she follows when she runs her fingers on my back, never deterring from the directions her mind guides her.
“What was that?” she asks quietly.
I prop myself up so I can look at her. “What was what?” I ask, genuinely curious where her mind has taken her.
“That,” she says and I feel her arms gesture behind me. “This. It was different.”
The sex was different. A bit more intimate and intense.
“It was me showing you, I love you.”
Her eyes fill, which breaks me because she rarely ever cries. I sit up and pull her on my lap, wrapping my hands around her. She laughs as she tries to brush away the tears, but her laugh is shaky and unconvincing so she rests her head on my shoulder.
“Every day you show me, Trent,” she says, barely a whisper, but I hear her words clearly as if she were speaking directly into my heart. “Every day you give me more than I deserve. Every day you give me your heart.”
“I’m yours, Erin. Always,” I tell her, kissing her on her forehead.
“And what does your wife do in return?” she shakes her head. “I’m sorry, Trent. You deserve so much more than I can give you.”
“You give me more than I ever hoped for.”
“Hope for more,” she says, kissing me with the same passion I showed her earlier. “Because I’m gonna give you a shitload more.”
I smile at the determination in her voice. There’s one good thing about Erin being so hell-bent. She doesn’t know how to lose, not even against herself. So I already know I’ll be getting more as promised. And more of Erin is always a good thing.
***
I proclaim the following morning to be a clothes-free day. Our motto for the day is “Nude and Proud.” Erin doesn’t understand my reference, but I laugh at my own wit, wishing my brother were around to appreciate my humor. Dave is as much of a movie-dork as I am.
After lounging in bed, on the sofa, on the deck of our back patio, we’re exhausted. Because, by lounging, I actually mean sex. Wild jungle Chewbacca sex, which included hanging from the chandeliers of the living room and on top of the countertop in the kitchen. Okay, so the chandeliers isn’t believable, but it would have been cool.
Erin’s hair is a matted mess and her cheeks flush a healthy and very content pink. Who needs the sun when sex is so obviously good for you? Her body responded to mine, a taking and receiving that was not quite on equal ground, making it that much more enjoyable. Each time, we outdid the other and Erin remained wet for me until I thought I’d drown in her. Wet and slick. Her thighs weren’t just willing, but demanding in the way they grasped me by the waist, forcing me to plunge even further into her. After a while, I became nothing more than her servant, eager to please. And please her I did, with my fingers pressed firmly inside of her, massaging her as she screamed and writhed beneath my grasp. She’d pull my hair so I held her arms by her wrist, unwilling to let her move while I nipped at her nipples, until she’d go limp, her eyes heavy but still not full.
Yep, more of Erin is definitely a good thing.
After an hour nap, I peel Erin off our bed and carry her into the bathroom. It’s our last night in Islamorado and I wanna take her to a bar I used to play at with my brother. While my brother’s band won’t be there tonight, the band that will has agreed to let me play a few songs with them. Just one of the perks of having a brother who is famous in the Keys.
Because she is still determined to have me as her servant, I pick out an outfit for her. A pretty beach dress that shows off her long legs. It has the strappy thing that ties at the base of her neck that I will enjoy untying later tonight.
After we are both dressed, I take Erin by the hand and kiss her on her forehead before I open up the car door for her. She murmurs and with her eyes closed, she inches her body closer to mine.
“Wanna go back inside?” I whisper into her ear.
“Hmm,” she responds but shakes her head. “I need food if I’m going to keep up with you,” she tells me with a broad smile on her face that clearly says she has been thoroughly sexed.
I open her door and help her slip in and feel my heart hammer in my ears when she spreads her legs and I see she’s not wearing anything underneath her dress.
“You’re gonna kill me,” I growl into her ear as I fasten her seat belt for her.
Already I feel the tension in my body building and I’ll be damned if I know how she does it. Or rather how she continues to do it, because that’s all we’ve done today. How is it possible I still want her? I walk to my side of the car, adjusting my pants and catch a glimpse of Erin laughing in the car. I stare back at her, enjoying the laughter in her eyes and the lightness in her smile.
At the bar I order us soda and crab cakes as an appetizer. Erin doesn’t like to drink when we go out since her best friend died while driving drunk. We talk about nothing in particular and simply enjoy each other’s company. Just the two of us.
After the band finishes playing Jimmy Buffett’s Cheeseburger in Paradise, I take my cue and leave Erin abruptly at our table and go on stage with my harmonica. With a quick smile, I join the band in another Buffett song, this one about getting drunk and screwing. I watch Erin intensely and watch the blush rise up her neck and onto her cheeks. Damnit, she still gets me weak at the knees.
After the second song, I’m gearing up to play our wedding song, the song she chose to walk down the aisle to. I continue to watch Erin, the rest of the bar no longer existing, as she gives me an apologetic smile before answering the phone. From her smile, I know Shayna is calling, but her smile and the color on her cheeks quickly disappear as her eyes widen, terror gripping her. Not knowing what’s going on, I leave the stage and run to Erin whose color has drained completely from her face.
Chapter 14
Shayna
I don’t want him to die. That’s all I can think about. Haven’t I loved him enough? Haven’t I been good enough for him to stay? He can’t die. He can’t leave me. I can’t lose him.
I call Mommy, because I don’t know w
hat else to do, but she doesn’t say anything.
“Mommy?” I ask, my voice barely a whisper.
I can hear her breathing and finally she talks and I know everything will be okay. It has to be.
“Shay, baby,” she says softly to me, the way she does when I get scared. “Is Tonya with you?”
I nod my head but she can’t see me.
“She’s with Uncle Nate,” I say out loud. “She called the police.”
“And Uncle Nate?” she asks. “Is he still lying on the ground?”
I feel my bottom lip start to quiver when I nod my head again.
“Shayna?” she asks again.
“He’s still on the ground, Mommy.”
I hear a lot of noise on the other line but not Mommy and I start to think maybe I was wrong. Maybe it won’t be okay. I start to cry quietly. The way I used to when I lived with Momma because I don’t want Uncle Nate to hear me. I don’t want him to get angry that I’m crying because then he might not come back to me.
“Listen, baby girl,” I hear Daddy say into the phone and he sounds so serious I put all my attention in listening to what he tells me. “I want you to go to Tonya and do not leave her side. Even after the ambulance comes and takes Uncle Nate, stay by Tonya’s side, okay?” he asks and I nod my head, not able to make a noise.
I walk silently to Tonya and watch as she puts a white kitchen towel on the front of Uncle Nate’s head while she holds his head on her lap. She looks up at me and I can tell she’s trying not to cry.
“He’s gonna be okay,” she tells me and I nod.
I want to believe her but I know sometimes grown-ups lie.
Chapter 15
Trent
I drum my fingers on the steering wheel as we drive quickly back to Miami. We left all of our belongings in the villa, our only desire to get back home to be with Shayna and Nate. And Tonya, she’s a part of this, too. Whatever this is.
I speed through Homestead until we are on the Turnpike. Feeling better that we’re closer to home, I take Erin’s hand in my own. Her hand is so cold I’m actually afraid for her. Her thoughts and feelings are completely hidden from me.
“It’s going to be okay,” I try to reassure her but she shakes her head at me. “Nate’s going to be fine,” I say again, squeezing her hands gently.
“How can you know that?” she asks and stares at me, the anger and fear obvious in her cold eyes.
I don’t know that Nate will be fine, but I know I’d give up my own life to never see her in any kind of pain.
“You know Nate,” I insist. “He’s healthy, he’s strong,” I tell her, remembering how he fainted in Alabama and how weak he was after. I think about how much weight he’s lost and his persistent cough that keeps me up at night.
Suddenly I feel like an asshole for not discussing any of that with her. What if there is something wrong with him and me keeping my mouth shut made it worse? Erin would have made him go see a doctor, which is why I didn’t say anything. Nate’s a grown man. If he wanted to see a doctor he would have.
I put my foot down on the gas pedal harder, wanting to get to the hospital sooner but scared of what we’ll find there.
When we finally reach the Emergency Room, we are told that Nate has been admitted into the hospital. I hold onto Erin’s shaky hand as we walk towards his room, already knowing this is bad.
Rather than being met with the worried faces I expected, we walk into the room to find Shayna listening to Nate’s breathing through the nurse’s stethoscope.
“Big breath, Uncle Nate,” she states and Nate obliges. “Again,” she says and closes her eyes in concentration.
Tonya immediately wraps Erin in a tight hug and I nod my head at Nate. While he continues to smile for Shayna, his eyes burrow into mine letting me know we have to talk. I nod again and pick Shayna up from behind her and she squeals.
“I’m Uncle Nate’s doctor,” she tells me seriously and I nod.
“Shay’s a real good doctor, too. She’s fixed me all up,” Nate tells us, earning him a big smile from Shayna.
“So what’s the hold up?” Shayna wants to know making us all laugh.
Thank God for Shayna. That girl doesn’t just light up my life, but has helped every one of us in that room at one point or another.
“They just wanna watch me for the night,” Nate tells her. “Maybe they’ll run some sorta experiment on me,” he says winking at her.
“Then you’ll be like Spiderman,” she says happily.
“Something like that, mi niña,” Sofia tell her. “Why don’t we go look for some snack in the vending machine?” she asks Shayna who eagerly goes with her.
Erin sits on Nate’s bed and waits for Shayna to be out of ear shot. It’s obvious from the tension building in the room that everyone but Erin and me knows what’s going on. I stand behind Erin, putting my hand on her shoulder, which she squeezes before looking at me. The looks she gives me breaks me. She knows it’s bad and there isn’t a damn thing I can do to make it better.
“Talk, Nate,” she tells him, leaving little room for debate.
I watch him sigh before he opens his mouth.
Chapter 16
Nate
“I have cancer.”
There I’ve told everyone. Erin stares at me, betrayal and anger evident in her eyes.
“Cancer?” she spits out at me. “How long have you known?” she asks and I shrug, because she knows me so well she probably already knows I’ve been keepin’ it from her.
Does it really matter, anyway? From the look in her eyes, apparently it does.
“A couple months,” I mumble, feelin’ like a child bein’ chastised by his irate mother.
“Fine,” she says with hatred spilling out of her eyes.
“I got cancer, Erin. Not you,” I tell her flatly, knowin’ this whole fucked up situation is hurtin’ her. But Erin does better with anger than hurt so I gear myself up for a fight.
“You’ve had cancer for months. Months, Nate,” she says. “You could have gone to the doctor, had surgery, started chemo. Whatever. But you kept quiet. Why?” she asks, her eyes swimmin’ with tears she won’t allow to trickle down her face.
“I didn’t wanna hurt nobody,” I tell her, lookin’ at anything but her.
“Bull shit,” she says and Tonya chuckles.
Angry, I glare at her. Bull shit? All my life I’ve done what I can to protect her and she calls bull shit?
I watch as Erin lifts herself from my hospital bed and begins to stalk the room, only to be stopped by Trent who holds onto her as if she might break. But she won’t. She’s not built to break. She’s stronger than anyone else in this room. Brave, persistent, compassionate, and loyal.
And that’s why I didn’t want to tell her. I didn’t want the strongest person I know to see me break. The realization makes me hiss in a breath that hurts me so bad it brings tears to my eyes.
Erin spins around at the sound and I’ll be damned how she knows, but she does. The hatred in her eyes is replaced with the same fear I’ve lived with for months. With our roles changed, Erin becomes my protector and sits back on my bed and holds me as sobs escape and rake my whole body.
I feel her tears fall on my shoulder, but she remains strong, speakin’ quietly to me as she runs her hand comfortingly over my short hair. I cry my fears and anger away until I’m so exhausted I’m sure the tears will cease, but they continue to roll down my face.
In my sister and best friend’s arms, I cry and only calm down when I hear her singin’ softly to me. Her soft tone eases the knot that has lived in my stomach for months. Music won’t heal me, but my family will.
I look over to find Tonya, who is sittin’ on the other side of my bed, rubbin’ my shoulder, her eyes intent on me. I let go of Erin so that I can bring Tonya’s hands to my lips, makin’ her blush as Erin watches us with her eyes so wide I’m scared they might pop out.
“You two?” she stutters out, standin’ up so she can get a better look
of us.
Tonya nods her head at us, smilin’ a smile that speaks more than any words we have shared. Trent holds Erin from behind and kisses her cheek, making me happy she found someone to take care of her and love her through all of her stubbornness asinine ways.
“Good,” Erin nods in our direction and I smile.
If she thinks I’d stop dating Tonya because she didn’t agree, she’d have a good fight on her hands.
Chapter 17
Trent
Watching Erin is humbling. She’s a tyrant that resembles a baby Hitler when she's angry. But her heart has no comparison. Once she’s let you in, her love takes over and encompasses you.
That’s what she did for Nate and what I’ll do for her when she cracks. Cracks, not breaks. I’ll hold her in my arms and let her cry the same way she let Nate cry. I already know she’ll need more than a strong shoulder – ahem, me – she’ll need permission. She won’t cry unless I tell her it’s okay to.
For now, I hold her in my arms, her back resting against my chest as we talk to Nate while his dad, Sofia and Shayna rummage the vending machines to allow us the privacy.
“I called Dr. Thompson after I called the ambulance,” Tonya tells us referring to a family friend who is also an oncologist. “He saw Nate and after seeing his scans, wants to do surgery and remove as much of the mass as possible.”
“He’ll send off for a biopsy,” Nate filled in. “An’ then I start chemo.”
“Okay,” Erin nods. “When?”
“We haven’t scheduled surgery yet,” Tonya says as Nate watches her.
The poor bastard’s in love with her and I’d bet my left nut she’s in love with him, too.
“He said he’d make sure I got it done in a week. Two at the most.”
