by Lori Foster
“The squeaky wheel gets oiled.” Tonya winced over that blatant complaint, but then went ahead and expounded on the truth. “Cissy didn’t just squeak, she screamed. Trouble. All the time. Over everything.” As if a dam had burst, her words came rushing out, her hurt and resentment mixing together. “My parents had to work, and they had to always help Cissy. Financially, emotionally, in every way you can imagine.”
“I guess that didn’t leave much time for you?”
“It left no time. I was expected to be the easier child, and so I was.”
“That’s pretty impressive, you know. You could have gone the opposite way and followed Cissy’s example.”
“Ha! Not likely.” She covered her face with her hands, embarrassed over her pettiness, hating her own resentment of the past, but it felt so good to say it aloud, to get it out of her head. “I got in trouble at school once. You’d have thought the world ended. Dad lectured me, telling me how unfair it was to my mother to burden her that way because, after all, I already knew she had her hands full with Cissy. He was so disappointed in me. And Mom cried. I think the idea that two kids would cause problems just overwhelmed her. She was in bed sick for two days‒until Cissy had another meltdown and needed her.”
Appalled, Jesse took her hands and stared into her eyes. “What did you do to get in trouble?”
“I skipped a class, went out with a friend and tried smoking.” Remembering her own ridiculous attempt at rebelling, she wrinkled her nose. “It was so dumb. The cigarette was awful, the repercussions worse. Believe me, I never tried anything like that again.”
“So you never got to sow your wild oats?”
She shrugged. “Did you?”
“Sure.”
She would love to hear all about Jesse and his misspent youth. “Admittedly, I’m starting late. But here I am, sitting at the table with a bona fide gorgeous hunk who, starting tomorrow, will let me wallow in lust. Better late than never, huh?”
Her joke fell flat, leaving Jesse frowning instead of smiling.
“When did you lose your parents?”
She rolled a shoulder, wishing they could move on from her tale of woe. “I was twenty. Cissy wasn’t around. I knew how badly my folks would have wanted her there, but she didn’t answer my calls or even show up for the funeral.” Anger swelled. Anger and hurt. “She accepted her half of their estate, though. For a while there, I hoped it would make a difference for Kevin. He was only five then. I’m not sure he even remembers Mom and Dad since their last year, Cissy got really bad. She lived with this one creep that my parents hated. So many nights they’d miss sleep worrying.”
“And what about you? Did you worry?”
She averted her gaze. “About Kevin. But I got so angry at Cissy, especially after she blew the nice sum of money she got after I settled their affairs. Sometimes I wished...” Swallowing down that awful thought, she shook her head. “Mom had always said that Cissy couldn’t help it, that she needed our help, but she made everyone miserable. Even her son.”
Slowly, Jesse reclaimed her hand. His thumb moved over her knuckles. “Kevin still loved her.”
“Because he’s supposed to! I know because it’s the same way I feel.” She pressed a fist to her heart. “If she’d been a stranger, a neighbor or a friend, I’d have cut her out of my life and moved on. But we were related, and right or wrong, I couldn’t help but love her. Not because of any closeness, or fond memories‒there was none of that. I just...”
“Loved her because she was your sister.”
Breathing harder, she nodded. It made no sense, not then and not now. “It’s a burden that Kevin shouldn’t have to bear.”
“I agree it’s unfair. But that’s life, honey. We play the hand we’re dealt.”
She wanted to throw away that hand and get new cards. Except...that would mean throwing away Kevin, too. And Jesse. And she didn’t want that. Ever.
“I hate what you went through, what you didn’t have, and what you had to put up with. But however your life used to be, you’re exactly what Kevin needs now.” His fingers laced in hers. “And you’re who I want.”
Sexually. But he’d also mentioned her head and heart...
Lifting her hand, Jesse kissed her knuckles. “I’m glad you’re you,” he whispered. “And Tonya?”
Very uncertain, she said, “Yes?”
“I promise to help you sow plenty of wild oats.”
CHAPTER FOUR
TONYA WANTED EVERYTHING to be perfect, and so far, so good.
Kevin looked relaxed enough wearing jeans and a pullover shirt, with lime green sneakers he’d chosen himself. She’d surprised him with a new backpack, and he still looked boggled by it.
“Do you want to pack your lunch or buy?”
His brows came together and he busied himself putting pencils, notebooks and such in the backpack.
“Kevin?”
“I think the school gives me lunch, right?”
Well, of course he’d gotten that supplemented. Why hadn’t she realized? Smiling, she came to sit beside him on the couch. “Not this year. We can either pack you something, or I can give you the money‒”
“Packing is fine.”
Keeping her smile in place, Tonya silently vowed to look into a meal plan at the school, perhaps a prepay of some sort so he’d always have the option. “Okay. What’s it to be? I can do a sandwich with that lunch meat you like, or there’s P&J, or‒”
He pushed to his feet. “I can do it.”
She started to follow along when a knock sounded on the door, and a second later, Jesse stuck his head in. “Hey.”
Good Lord, he was early! Heat rushed into her face, making him grin widely.
“I wanted to catch Kevin before he took off.”
“Oh.” So he hadn’t been impatient?
Kevin stuck his head out of the kitchen. “Hey, Jesse.”
“Hey.” As he went past Tonya, he chastised her, whispering, “Mind in the gutter again? Naughty, Tonya.” He stole a quick kiss. “I like it.” Then he went into the kitchen.
She stood there in the middle of the room, listening to their low conversation until she felt steady enough to walk.
“I would have packed that for you,” she told Kevin.
“Why?” Jesse leaned back on the counters. “He’s a big boy. He can do it.”
Kevin grinned.
Ridiculously proud, Tonya got out a paper bag for him, along with an apple and a drink and a bag of chips.
Jesse eyed it all and, now as familiar with her kitchen as she was, went to a different cabinet to get out some cookies to add to the pile.
Kevin laughed. “Okay, that ought to do it.” He began stuffing it all in the bag. “I’ve never gotten this much for lunch before.” He caught himself and clarified, “School lunch, I mean.”
“We should go shopping,” Tonya said, making both guys groan in unison.
“For food,” she stressed, amused by their identical forlorn expressions. “So you always have your preferences here for packing.”
Kevin stuffed the lunch bag into his backpack, hefted it over his shoulder, surveyed her a moment while shifting restlessly‒and in one big step he reached her, hugging her right off her feet.
“Thanks, Aunt Tonya.”
Her heart almost exploded from her chest. Clasped hands at her mouth, tears welling up, she nodded and gulped, “You’re welcome.”
He shared a man-to-man look with Jesse. “I better go so I don’t miss my bus.”
She nodded hard again.
Jesse laughed. “I’ll walk you out.”
They were no sooner out the door than Tonya rushed behind them to peek out the window. Together, they stood on the porch chatting, occasionally laughing. A few times Jesse put his hand o
n Kevin’s shoulder, and at one point Kevin gave him a laughing push. When the bus started down the street, Jesse faded back, then came in.
He found her there at the window, but he didn’t say anything. He just nudged her over a little so he could join her, and together they watched Kevin get on the bus.
“He’ll be okay,” Jesse told her, his arm now around her waist.
Words still stuck in her throat, so she only smiled and nodded, staying there until the bus was out of sight.
Jesse smoothed his hand down her long braid, let his gaze trail over her body from her loose T-shirt and casual shorts, all the way down to her bare feet.
She waited for him to kiss her, but instead he stepped back.
Pulsing with expectation, she stood there as he went to the door and turned the lock. That near silent “click” ramped up her heat and made her knees tremble.
Until he headed down the hall.
What in the world? She rushed to catch up. “Jesse?”
Into her bedroom he went and she stalled, stopping just outside the door. She wanted this. She wanted him. So much.
But she didn’t know how she felt about being rushed.
He sat on the side of the mattress and smiled at her. “Come here, Tonya.”
Hesitation warred with excitement.
Excitement won. Steps tentative, she approached, and when she got close enough, he reached out and caught her hand, drawing her in...and onto his lap.
“You okay?”
Oh, no, no, no. If he got sympathetic over her emotional overload, she’d turn weepy in a heartbeat, and seriously, that’d add nothing to the awesomely sexual moment. “Of course.”
His big, warm hand moved up and down her back. “You’re really good for him. You know that, right?”
“I’m trying.” Was she good for Jesse, too? That thought led to more uncertainty. To change the subject, she leaned into him and kissed his jaw. “You didn’t shave?”
“I was in a hurry to get here.”
“I like it.” His whiskers rasped her fingertips, and she had to cup his face, hold him still for a deeper kiss that turned hot and wet and left her breathless.
Turning her, he lowered her to the mattress, then lifted away. His attention on her mouth, he slipped a hand up under her shirt to touch bare skin. “You want to talk a little?”
“That’s your thing.” She moved one leg up and over his, hooking her heel over his muscled thigh. “This is my thing.”
“Yeah?” He pressed more firmly against her. “What exactly?”
“Wanting you. Needing you.” She nipped his chin. “I swear it feels like forever.”
“Because it has been.” He bent to nuzzle her throat, making her toes curls. “A lifetime.” His open mouth ate gently over her neck, down to the special spot where her neck blended into her shoulder muscle.
More than her toes curled. Her stomach did a flip-flop, her heartbeat breaking into a race. “Jesse.”
Under her shirt, his hand slid up to her breast, cuddled carefully before his thumb finally played over her nipple.
She started to whisper his name again, but his mouth took hers, his tongue stroking deep, and she forgot everything except holding on to him.
For the longest time, that’s all he did, touch her, kiss her. But they were both still dressed, and she moved restlessly against him, trying to get him to hurry it up.
Finally, finally, he levered to the side of her, reached back with one fist and peeled away his shirt.
“More,” she whispered.
He treated her to a crooked smile. “You first.” And with that, he peeled away her shirt. Breathing harder, he stared at her, her breasts and her belly, her legs. “What do you say we lose these shorts, too?”
“Sure.” She wanted to be naked with him. “Soon as you take off your jeans.”
He bent to kiss her belly, took a soft bite and sat up. Still looking at her body, he kicked off his shoes and opened his jeans.
When he stood, Tonya fisted her hands in the bedding to brace herself. Jesse still didn’t look at her face. No, his attention remained on her body, totally absorbed as he pushed down his jeans and boxers, taking off his socks at the same time.
Casual as you please, he stood there naked at the side of the bed, one hand blindly digging into the pocket of his jeans until he found a few condoms that he put on the nightstand. Tossing the jeans aside, he parted her legs and stepped between them, trailing his hands up and down her thighs.
Neither of them said anything as he opened the snap on her shorts, eased down the zipper and curled his fingers into the waistband.
At last his gaze lifted to hers. “You’re okay?”
She nodded and helped him by lifting her hips while he slowly tugged down the shorts. He’d left her in her panties, which didn’t mean he’d left her much. The lacy, barely there underwear didn’t conceal as much as they...decorated.
“Damn.”
Tonya licked her lips. “You like them?”
“Yeah.” But he eased them down, too, all the while looking at her. Releasing a big breath, he murmured, “Like you naked even more.”
Yes, she knew she wasn’t a troll. But Cissy hadn’t been a troll either and yet men had always‒
“Shh.” Jesse came down beside her, turned her into him and whispered, “You, me and a bed. That’s all that’s here, Tonya.”
How had he known the direction of her thoughts? “Finally.”
“Finally.” He put his mouth to her forehead, the bridge of her nose, her cheekbone. “It’s been a long time coming, but I won’t rush you.”
“You haven’t.” She nestled closer. “And I don’t want to wait.”
“Okay then, kiss me.”
She tried to make it a scorcher, hot enough to get him rushing just a little.
Instead, with one arm under her head, he kept her close, and with the other he explored, his hand cuddling her breast, fingers tugging on her nipple, before petting over her waist, down her spine and to her bottom. He lifted her leg over his hip, leaving her open for him.
Making a small, rough, hot sound of appreciation, Jesse teased between her legs, over her sex, briefly pressed his two fingers into her, and then used her own wetness to stroke higher‒over her clitoris.
Shocked by the intensity, she tried to free her mouth to gasp, but he didn’t let her. He took her groan, returning it with a satisfied, “Mmm,” rumble of pleasure.
When he was damn good and ready, he freed her lips to kiss his way down to her breast. “I owe Brick big-time.”
That made no sense to her. Arching against him, she breathed, “Why’s that?”
He licked her nipple, suckled for a heart-stopping second, then blew against her. “He gave you to me as a gift.”
As he sucked her in again, she sank under sensation...until his words registered.
Wait, what?
Grabbing his shoulders, Tonya pressed him back. She could still feel his breath on her now-wet nipple, and he again had two fingers buried into her, stretching her, filling her, making clear thought more than difficult.
When she said nothing, he licked her again. “You’re wondering about the whole Brick/gift thing, right?”
Eyes closed, breath suspended, she nodded, and given that his fingers were now slowly stroking in and out, she considered that a major accomplishment.
As if making love to her didn’t affect him at all, Jesse spoke calmly. “Brick was after Merrily, making moves, and then he met you. Most guys would do an about-face for you. You know that right?”
No, she refused to answer that.
“They would,” he assured her. “But Brick was already in it for Merrily. Hook, line and sinker. So he asked me out here with a trumped-up excuse of needing help with a do
or and promised me a really awesome ‘gift’ if I played along.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you.” He kissed her hotly. “I wanted you the second I saw you.”
Threading her fingers into his sun-streaked hair, Tonya admitted, “I wanted you, too.”
“Took me a while to figure that out, though. You were friendly enough in a group, or as long as we were talking weather or improvements on your house. Anything personal, you turned cool as a cucumber.”
He meant cold. And withdrawn and distant...a total drag.
Apologetic, she hugged his head to her breasts. “I’m sorry. You scared me, Jesse. This scared me.”
“You didn’t think you should risk getting involved.”
It was love she hadn’t wanted to risk. “It didn’t seem fair when my life remained up in the air, the future so uncertain.”
“I know.” Another kiss, and then he half sat up and reached for a condom.
Tonya watched as he opened the packet, rolled on the condom and came down over her.
Kneeing her thighs apart, he whispered, “It’s not uncertain anymore.”
“How can you say‒”
With one thrust, he entered her, burying himself deep. She sank her fingertips into his solid shoulders; he closed his eyes and groaned.
They stayed like that, holding the moment, until Tonya couldn’t take it anymore and shifted under him.
He locked an arm around her hips. “The future,” he murmured, and three deep breaths later, he continued with, “It is set, you know. There’ll be ups and downs, good times and bad. But Kevin isn’t going anywhere.”
“Never.”
He smiled, kissed her softly. “I see you,” he told her gently. “You and your responsibilities. The challenges you’ll face. The fun.”
Fun? Yes, with Jesse, everything was fun. But with or without him, she planned to make it so for Kevin. He deserved it. “Okay.”
“You need to understand, honey. None of it scares me.”
Nothing scared Jesse. From the moment she’d met him, he’d been rock-steady. “Maybe I’m afraid enough for both of us.”
