by Sable Hunter
Sliding a hungry hand between them, Brodie pinched her clit. The sudden overwhelming sensation set off the fireworks of her orgasm, and she clamped down so hard on him that he almost lost consciousness. Still, his hips pumped, his body striving to prolong the perfect ecstasy. He shut his eyes and fucked her hard until his world exploded, his body lighting up with an unquenchable fire. For in that moment, Brodie realized that he would never get enough of this woman, never truly be satisfied.
And that thought scared him more than anything.
When Brodie started to help her down, Shane tightened her grip around his shoulders. “Hold me. Just a minute more. Please.”
Warning bells began to sound in Brodie’s mind. They’d crossed some invisible line here. Despite being drained of coherent thought, he realized that he was in way over his head. He needed to get a grip on himself and the situation. Regardless, he gave her what she needed, supporting her until she regained her breath and her heartrate slowed to near normal. “All right. Here you go.” He helped her down and handed Shane her clothes before reaching for his own. When he’d come storming over, he hadn’t considered whether he would stay over. Now, he wasn’t sure if it was the best idea. “I guess I should be going.”
Going? “No.” If he left now, she might never regain the courage to tell him the truth. “Wait. I need to tell you something. Something important.”
A chill of foreboding crept up Brodie’s back. “Important? What do you mean?”
Shane felt the words she needed to say getting stuck in her throat. “Let’s go sit down.”
Brodie followed her. “You aren’t sick. You told me you weren’t sick.”
Finding a seat on the couch, she patted the adjacent cushion. “Give me just a minute. I need to tell you this.”
The foreboding he’d felt was now turning into a genuine panic attack. “What else important could we possibly have to discuss? Is this about work?”
Shane exhaled slowly. “No, it isn’t about work.” Gathering her courage, she just said the words. “I’m pregnant.”
Brodie stared at her blankly. His brain was refusing to process the words. “You’re what?”
Shane could see his devastation. It was written all over his face. “I’m pregnant.”
Brodie staggered to his feet, a big hand raking through his hair, his shoulders bowing as he twisted away from her, groaned, then whirled back around. When he did, his countenance was a livid mask of fury. “Am I the father?”
Shane drew up into herself. She was icy cold. Of all the reactions she’d anticipated and dreaded – this wasn’t one of them. “How can you say that to me? Don’t you know me at all?”
“Know you?” Brody raged. “No, I don’t know you. I don’t want to know you. I never wanted to know you!”
Shane inched back on the couch, her soul withering in her breast. “I’m not asking anything of you, Brodie.”
“Fuck, no! You won’t ask anything of me! I didn’t want this. I don’t want a child.” He glared at her, his chest heaving. He owed no one an explanation. He owed no one a glimpse into dreams that he’d once had, dreams that had died with Mary. “Was this your plan all along?”
All right. She’d had enough. Rising, she risked walking past him to the door. “I think you should leave.”
Oh, Brodie wanted to leave. But not before he’d said what needed to be said. “You didn’t answer me. Did you do this to trap me?”
“Trap you!” Shane felt limp as a dishrag. Her emotions were crazy. Hurt. Shame. Anger. Even those were morphing into more. Fury. Disdain. “You think I’m trying to trap you?”
Brodie threw his hands up. “You chased after me, you know you did. Now, I have to assume you’re after marriage in the only way you think you can get it.”
“I won’t deny that I felt something for you, Brodie Walton. I’m human. I could have loved you if you’d have let me. I could’ve made you happy. But I need to inform you, that I have no desire to trap you.” She stood as straight as she could, even as she wanted to double over in abject pain. “You are no prize in anybody’s book. I can’t deny that you’re good-looking, you’re smart, you’re compassionate to those who need you. What you aren’t – is capable of comprehending a truth even if it hits you between the eyes.” She was brave enough to take a step toward him. “Mary is dead and you are alive. Mary isn’t coming back. She would’ve wanted you to have a life. To have a family. I hope someday you find those things, I hope you’re able to pull your head out of your ass and see what you’re doing to yourself and those who care about you. But you won’t have those things with me,” she covered her abdomen protectively with her hands, “or with this baby.”
“I don’t want those things with you. I don’t want those things at all!” He started for the door, then stopped. “I’m not sure how we’ll work this out, but I don’t want to see you again. If you don’t want to leave your job, I’ll leave mine. If you want to do what’s right,” he pointed at her middle, “you’ll fix this.”
“Fix this?” Shane felt like he’d just plunged a knife in her heart. “Fix this? You want me to get rid of our baby?”
When he raised his eyes, she was shocked anew at the venom she saw there. How could she ever have thought she knew this man? “That isn’t my baby. Just stay out of my way. Out of my sight. Whatever you choose to do, just don’t include me. I don’t want to have anything to do with either one of you.”
“Out! Get out of my house! Out of my life! You’re a heartless, vile man. I don’t see how I could have ever thought I cared for you!” Shane screamed at him, her voice breaking in hard sobs. Running at him, she shoved him with all of her might. “I hate you! I hate you!”
Brodie rocked backwards with the force of her blow. “Shane…” He didn’t know what he was about to say. What was there to say? Even in the midst of this horrid storm of emotional tragedy, he felt…regret.
“Don’t say my name, I don’t ever want you to say my name again.” She held open the door for him to walk through. When their eyes met one final time, Shane was confused at what she saw. Pain. His eyes were filled with raw pain. Well, good, they should be. “Goodbye, Brodie Walton. I hope you’re happy now.”
With a loud final bang, Shane shut Brodie Walton out of her life.
As soon as the door was closed, as soon as the door to that portion of her life was shut tight – Shane crumpled to the floor and wept.
* * *
Brodie broke all the rules as he drove home. His mind wasn’t on the road. His focus wasn’t on the oncoming traffic. He sped. He steered his truck automatically, blindly. It was a miracle that he managed to get from point A to point B without wrecking or causing a wreck.
Shane Wilder was having his child.
Yes, he knew it was his child. He hadn’t really doubted it. He’d only said the words to hurt her. He’d wanted to hurt her. Why?
Because…of everything.
The news of him giving her a child tore his soul from its moorings.
There was a yellowed piece of paper in a box in his closet. A piece of paper where Mary had written down names for their future child. A child they’d planned together. A beloved proof of their endless devotion. Mary Margaret Walton if the baby was a girl. Meg for short. Broderick David Walton. They were to call him David, after her brother. God, he could still see her handwriting, the ink faded by the tears he’d shed every time he looked at the paper.
As his truck ate up the miles, he missed his turnoff. Aimlessly he drove, his heart and mind so full of pain that he could scarcely breathe. Never in a million years could he have conceived of a situation where another woman took Mary’s place. How could he let that happen?
He passed through Johnson City, turning south toward Blanco. Where was he going? Hell – did it matter? Brodie tried to conjure Mary’s face, he tried to recall her voice. “Fuck! Dammit!” He slammed his palm against the steering wheel. All he could hear was Shane’s voice. Her face was all he could see and the worst part was
the hurt he could see reflected there. He had crushed the heart and spirit of the only women he’d ever cared anything about other than Mary. He’d broken her. Brodie’s chest felt so tight, he wondered if he was about to have a heart attack. Wouldn’t that be fitting? Many times he thought he might die of a broken heart. And if he did now, it wouldn’t be because of Mary’s death, it would be because he’d been so cruel to Shane. How he’d talked to her. The knowledge of how he’d ruined her decimated him.
Brodie groaned, his voice rising to a bellow.
His own words rang in his ears.
Am I the father?
Did you plan this?
I don’t want to know you!
I don’t want you!
I don’t want this child!
Stay out of my sight!
Fix this!
Tears began to roll down his cheeks. “God, what have I done?” Even as he’d said the words, he knew he didn’t mean them. He’d been hurting and he’d wanted to hurt her back.
What was he going to do?
He needed to talk to her.
He’d turn around. Slowing down, he put on his blinker. He’d make a U-turn, go back and…
CRASH!
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Shane cried until she couldn’t cry anymore. “I was stupid, so stupid.” Hadn’t she learned her lesson with her ex-husband? How many times did she have to be knocked down before she quit trying to get back up? Rodney had hurt her, true. But what he’d done to her, the pain she’d felt at his betrayal, didn’t even register on the Richter scale next to the earthquake Brodie had caused in her life.
“I loved him.” She buried her face in her hands. “How could I love him? He never felt anything for me at all.”
Nausea roiled in her stomach. Her head was killing her. A spike of sickness hit and she ran to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before she began to throw up.
Long minutes of agony kept her on her knees. She tried to keep from worrying, but Shane couldn’t keep the thoughts from plaguing her mind. How would she manage? Where would she go? There was no way she could work with Brodie. Being a single mother would be so hard. But what choice did she have? Bess…she needed to talk to Aunt Bess.
Rising from the floor, she washed her face, catching a glimpse of her ragged countenance in the mirror. God, she was ugly. No wonder Brodie didn’t want her. As Rodney had said, she just didn’t have what it took to entice a man and like she’d feared, Brodie had used her. She’d allowed herself to be a convenient doormat who’d been available anytime he’d developed an itch.
Wiping her face on a hand towel, she headed to the couch to find her phone.
BAM! BAM!
An unbidden ray of hope came to her heart that maybe Brodie was back. What if he’d changed his mind? As she started for the door, her hope turned to dust as she realized it wouldn’t be him. Shane stiffened her spine. She didn’t want it to be him.
Still, she held her breath as she opened the door.
Orion!
“Why didn’t you answer your phone?”
The look on his face was strange. He was upset. “I’ve been sick.” She pointed to the couch, about to tell him she might not have heard it while she was in the bathroom. Yes, she’d stuffed it down in the cushions when Brodie had been calling incessantly. “What’s wrong? Do I need to come in?”
“It’s Brodie.”
Shane felt her heart come into her throat. “What?”
“He had a wreck. We just picked him up.”
“Is he…”
“He’s critical. We took him to the hospital.”
“Oh, God.” She put a hand to her throat. “What are his injuries?”
“You need to come. He’s got multiple lacerations, but that’s not the crucial thing. He has a head injury.”
“Oh, no.” She was torn. “Orion…he wouldn’t want…” The words wouldn’t come out, but she knew the truth. He wouldn’t want her to come.
“You need to come. He only said one word and it was your name.”
The next little while was a blur. She let Orion drive her to the hospital. He had the good grace not to ask any questions and she was glad. Shane didn’t have any answers. One thing was crystal clear. This was her fault. He’d practically been in shock when he left. Yes, they were angry at one another, bitterly angry. No going back angry. But she’d thrown him out. This was as bad as letting someone you knew get behind the wheel drunk. “Was anyone else hurt?” She finally had the sense to ask.
“No.” He turned in front of a big rock truck. The driver of the truck walked away without a scratch.
A sob rose in her throat. “I’m so, so sorry.” Understatement. She was scared to death. Despite everything – she loved him. She loved the bastard.
“We’re here.” Orion announced. He let her off at the double doors, while he went to park.
Shane rushed in. Sawyer saw her and came to greet her. “Shane, you came.”
“Yes.” She nodded. “How is he?” She was shaking, literally shaking. If he was badly hurt, she was going to kill the jerk. How dare he allow himself to be hurt?
He shook his head. “I don’t know. I haven’t been able to find anything out. Chief Gray just went to find a doctor to see if he could learn anything. Jenna is on another floor, she’s in labor.”
Shane managed a smile. A baby. “I’ll have to get up to see her and the baby.” She put a hand over her middle, a gesture that was fast becoming common place. “Can you tell me anything?” She swayed on her feet. “I want to see him.” Tears were running down her cheeks.
“Let’s get you to a chair.” Sawyer led her to the waiting room. “Look, I know you’ve been seeing one another.”
Somehow, this news made her cry harder. “Not anymore. He ended it today.”
“I don’t know about that, all I know is how he’s been acting and the fact that you’re here.” Seeing how pale and shaky she was, Sawyer went to get her a glass of water. “I’ll be right back.”
Once she was alone, Shane quit trying to be brave. When Brodie’s friend returned, it was to find her doubled over and sobbing. “What if he dies? He can’t die.” He might not want the baby now… Stop! Stop it! “I don’t know what I’m going to do,” she wailed.
Sawyer tried to comfort her. “He’s not going to die. I promise you. Brodie Walton is too stubborn of a son-of-a-bitch to die.”
“You can’t know,” she whispered, but his description made her smile. “He is stubborn.”
The sound of footfalls coming down the hall caused them to both look up. “Chief!”
Logan Gray came and put his arm around Shane. “He’s alive, but he’s critical. He had a punctured lung, some broken ribs, and a concussion.”
“Is he awake?” Shane asked, praying to God he was, yet unsure if she could ever face him again.
“No, he’s not. The doctor has high hopes he will be soon.”
About that time, they saw Dr. Niels coming toward them. Shane couldn’t be still; she ran to meet her. “Doctor, how is Brodie?”
There was a moment of recognition in Dr. Niels eyes. “Hey, how are you feeling? Did you see your OBGYN about the bab…”
“Doctor, how is Brodie?” she spoke over her, cutting her eyes to the right as she saw Logan and Sawyer approaching.
“Ah…well…he’s not out of the woods. We’ve stabilized him, but until he wakes up, we can’t really know the extent of his head injury.” The doctor looked like she was about to say more, but her pager sounded.
“Can I see him?” she asked as the doctor walked away.
Holding up two fingers, she gave her order. “No more than two at a time and keep the visits brief. I’ll be back to check on him soon.”
“You two go ahead,” Sawyer urged. “I’m going to be here for the duration.”
“Come on, Shane.” Logan put his arm around his employee. “How are you feeling?”
“Not too good,” she admitted. “But how’s Jenna, shouldn’t you be
up there with her?”
He held up his phone. “I’m in constant contact. The baby’s being stubborn, I bet it’s a girl, takes after her mama.” When Shane managed a smile, he continued. “She was in labor, but the contractions stopped. If they don’t start back up soon, they’re going to induce.”
“Thank you for coming down here for Brodie.” As soon as she said the words, she realized she didn’t have the right to say them.
“Of course, you two are my people and my friends.” When they arrived at Brodie’s door, he pushed it open. “Let’s check on that hardheaded rascal. Ready?”
She wasn’t.
Shane held onto Logan’s arm as they stepped into the too still room. The only sounds were the buzz of the monitors. She gasped and covered her mouth. “Oh, Brodie.” He was so still. His face was abraded with small cuts and scrapes. There was a bandage across the left side of his head. “Oh, Brodie. What did you do?”
“I don’t know, Shane. He turned right in front of a big rock truck that was speeding behind him.” They estimated the truck was going over eighty.” Logan’s voice dropped. “He’s lucky to be alive.”
Shane grasped onto a chair. She wanted to go up to him, she needed to hold him…but the last words he’d said to her kept her feet frozen to the floor. “It’s all my fault, Chief.” She tried to muster her hate, her anger – but she’d known before she told him her news what his response would be. Brodie never promised her anything. All of the false hopes and unrealistic expectations had been her doing.
“What do you mean?” Logan frowned at her. “There’s no way in hell this was your fault. Sometimes accidents just happen.”
“We fought.” She sank into a chair near Brodie’s bedside. His hand lay there – so still, so dear. She couldn’t resist covering it with her own. “We weren’t really together,” her voice trembled, “but what we did have ended.”
Logan knelt beside her. “I know Brodie Walton. I know what he’s been through and I could see how much you meant to him. Whatever happened between the two of you, this wasn’t your fault.” He looked at their joined hands. “Don’t give up on him, Shane.”
