His gaze drifted over to the couple on the settee again. Cody was obviously smitten, and Josh recalled how the boy had mentioned marriage only last night. Would Cody really have the nerve to propose to her? And if he did, would she accept? Cody was good-looking enough but awfully immature, although Felicity might not notice that, since they were probably about the same age. Cody didn't have anything to offer her, either. As a cowboy he only earned thirty dollars a month and didn't even have a room of his own. Josh had it all over Cody when it came to that. He was a successful rancher with a fine home-hadn't Felicity said that very thing with her own lips? He could give her things she'd never had, things much fancier than gingham or calico dresses.
He wouldn't make the mistake his father had made, though. He wouldn't fall in love with her. That was what tore a man's guts out, whether the woman stayed or not. Josh would never trust his heart to any female ever again, not after what his mother had done. A woman could make a man's life hell. He recalled only too clearly his father's trials with his mother and how she had finally deserted them both for her family back East.
But Felicity didn't have a family back East, or anywhere else, for that matter. She would have no place to run away to, no one to shelter her except him. And she wasn't a bit like his mother anyway. His mother had known another kind of life, an easier life, far from the frontier, but Felicity knew only hardship and poverty. What Josh could offer her would be the most luxury she had ever known. Why would she ever want to leave it? Or him?
The longer Josh considered the idea, the more appealing it became. A wife, just what he'd been needing-although he might not have realized it until now. A woman to share his bed. And children to keep his ranch alive. Felicity was a perfect candidate to provide him with both. She'd be so grateful to him, she couldn't possibly want to leave. And she was so pretty, he knew he'd never mind having her around.
In fact, just the thought of having her in his bed, to do with as he pleased, made his mouth go dry. Even her name, Felicity, had a soothing sound, suggesting quiet nights and peaceful days. Josh almost sighed aloud.
Putting her sewing aside, Candace got up from her chair in the corner. She came slowly across the room to the hearth, picked up the poker, and prodded encouragingly at the fire. Then she turned to Josh, whose chair was nearby. She gave him a long, considering look. When she had his full attention, she lifted her elegant eyebrows and inquired softly, "Are you gonna let him steal her right out from under your nose?"
Josh briefly considered telling Candace exactly where she could go to mind her own damn business, but he didn't bother. First of all, she probably believed that Josh was her business. Secondly, he had just asked himself that very same question.
"No, I'm not," he informed her, and turned his determined gaze back to the couple on the settee.
Felicity was gritting her teeth. Just who did he think he was to sit there staring at them like that, as if they were doing something indecent? Even poor Cody had finally noticed and was squirming under the intense scrutiny of those gray eyes. She had a notion to ask Mr. Logan if he saw her petticoat showing or something, but she was afraid such delicate sarcasm might be wasted on him. For a long moment she indulged herself by imagining what else she might have said if she hadn't been a lady.
"It's getting late, Cody," Josh said at last. "You better hit the hay."
Cody wanted to protest that it wasn't late at all,, but something in Mr. Logan's expression stopped him. Cody couldn't imagine what had gotten into the man. Earlier, Cody had suspected his boss of being attracted to the girl, but he certainly showed no sign of it now. In fact, he'd never seen Mr. Logan looking so disagreeable. "Yeah, I reckon I better," he said, only too glad to escape Mr.
Logan's scrutiny.
Felicity breathed a sigh of relief. Soon she would be alone, away from those condemning gray eyes. As Cody rose, she rose, too, and wished him a good night. Then she turned to Mr. Logan, prepared to see him leaving, too, but he wasn't. He was just sitting there. Staring. She gritted her teeth again. Now what was he up to?
Seeking support, she glanced over to the corner where Candace had been sitting but found her chair empty. How long had the woman been gone? Felicity could not remember anything past the time Candace got up to poke the fire. Had Mr. Logan told her to leave? Had he planned for them to be alone? He was certainly doing his best to get rid of Cody.
What was he going to do? Was he going to try to kiss her again? And if he did, what should she do? Felicity swallowed with effort as she realized the question really was what would she do? She knew instinctively he would not force himself on her. If she struggled, he'd let her go as he had before. If she screamed, Candace could hear her out in her little cabin behind the house or Cody would come running from the bunkhouse. The problem was, she didn't think she wanted to scream or struggle or resist at all. Panic welled up in her, stretching her nerves taut until they seemed to hum in her ears.
Josh studied her face, easily reading her anxiety. That would work in his favor. Of course, he didn't plan to propose or anything, not just yet. He'd feel her out on the subject a little first, see what her initial reaction was to the idea. If she was too eager, he'd back off, knowing she only had designs on the wealth and security marriage to him would bring.
He briefly considered the possibility that she might refuse him completely, but then dismissed it. What other choice did she have, after all? She needed wealth and security. He could give her what she had never had: a home. That seemed more than a reasonable exchange for what she would give him in return.
When Cody had gone, Felicity remained standing for a long moment, hoping against hope that Mr. Logan would take the hint and leave, too. But he didn't, so then she thought about simply going off to bed herself, except she felt uncomfortable at the idea of going to her bedroom with him watching her. He wasn't going to leave, that much was certain, she realized at last.
Resignedly, she seated herself on the settee once again, smoothing her skirts perhaps a little more than absolutely necessary. "I think you'll be very pleased with the photographs I took today," she said to break the uncomfortable silence.
Well, that was as good a subject as any, Josh decided, playing along. "I'm sure I will," he replied. "You seem to know quite a bit about photography."
"My father was a good teacher," she said, sadness clouding the blue of her eyes for a moment.
Josh hadn't intended to dredge up unpleasant memories, but on the other hand, it was a perfect opening. "Have you given any more thought to where you're going to go and what you're going to do?" he asked with what he hoped was appropriate concern.
Felicity eyed him warily, not quite trusting his concern. "There really isn't all that much to think about, is there? I mean, I don't know anyone except you…" Mortified, Felicity stared at him, feeling the heat burning her cheeks. She hadn't meant to say that. Now he would think… What would he think?
Josh watched the gingham tighten briefly over her breasts and then forced his gaze back to her reddening face. A little disturbed over her response, he narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Was it possible she was not as innocent as she appeared? Could she have set this whole thing up to trap him? "You know that you can't stay here," he said, testing her.
"Oh yes," she quickly agreed, eager to correct the impression she had given.
"Truth to tell, the fact that you've been here several days already, unchaperoned, looks pretty bad," he continued, leaning back in his chair to watch the effect of his words.
Felicity's eyes widened. She had not considered this possibility. Of course, no one around here knew her, so she really had no reputation to tarnish. But if she stayed in the area, this could ruin her. "I… I didn't realize…"
Josh relaxed. She seemed genuinely upset. If she had designs on him, she would now be demanding that he give her the protection of his name. Instead, she was shocked by the magnitude of her problem. All he had to do was solve it for her. "There is one way you could stay here and everyt
hing would be completely proper," he remarked.
"What?" she asked absently, preoccupied with her predicament.
"If you were a married woman, living here with your husband, then nobody would think twice about it," Josh pointed out reasonably, liking the way he had phrased it, making it sound as if he might have been marrying her off to anyone except himself.
Felicity stared at him in complete surprise. To whom was he planning to marry her off? He couldn't possibly think she was interested in any of the men. Or maybe he did. He might think she liked Cody more than a little from the way she had let the boy help her today. That would explain why Mr. Logan had been watching them so closely all evening. For some reason she did not fully understand, she did not want Mr. Logan to think she liked Cody. "But there's nobody on the ranch I want to marry," she explained quickly, knowing even as she spoke that it was a lie. There was one man she would consider, but of course, he would never…
"There isn't?" Josh asked. Either she was a very good actress or else she had really not considered the possibility of marrying him. The thought should have pleased him, but it did not. Perversely, he felt annoyed. "What about me?" he demanded.
Felicity stared at him in surprise. He was teasing her. He had to be. This was all some great, ugly joke. Unfortunately,
Felicity did not feel like laughing. "Don't be silly," she said faintly.
Josh stood up, slowly and deliberately. "Why is it silly?" he asked, placing his hands on his hips in silent challenge. This wasn't at all the reaction he had expected from her. She didn't even seem to consider him a viable candidate.
If he could see himself at this moment, Felicity thought, he wouldn't even need to ask why the idea was ridiculous. Standing there like a conquering general in the midst of his fine home, a bearskin rug (which he no doubt had bagged himself) stretched out at his feet, his silver hair gleaming in the firelight and his handsome face twisted into a frown, he was just about the last man on earth whom anyone would pair up with little Felicity Storm. She didn't want to say all that, though. Casting about in her mind, she came up with a more practical-sounding reason. "Well, you're a little old for me."
"Old?" he repeated, completely puzzled and not even certain he had understood her correctly. How could she possibly think he was too old for her? There couldn't be more than ten years difference in their ages, and on the frontier even a difference of twenty years or more wasn't considered excessive. For a moment he thought she must be grasping at straws, but one look at those guileless blue eyes convinced him otherwise. Her objection was perfectly sincere. Another, very unsettling, thought occurred to him. "Just how old do you think I am?" he inquired.
Felicity thought this an odd question and certainly one she was loath to answer. No one liked to have his age guessed incorrectly, as Felicity knew from bitter personal experience, and she had no definite concept of his age. But she also knew that he was going to insist on an answer. She studied his face. He wasn't as old as her father had been, because he didn't have nearly as many wrinkles, but she also knew he must be pretty close to her father's age because of his white hair. She swallowed and ventured, "Forty?"
"FORTY!" Josh shouted, making her jump. "I'm TWENTY-EIGHT," he informed her, taking what she interpreted as a threatening step toward her.
Felicity sprang to her feet in instinctive self-defense and said, "Oh." She couldn't think of anything else.
"What made you think I was forty?" he demanded, feeling more affronted than he knew he should.
She made a vague gesture toward his head. "Your hair…" she said feebly, trembling in an agony of embarrassment. She should have known better than to respond to such a question in the first place. Now she had made him angry.
"All the men in my family go gray at an early age," he explained, forcing himself to sound calm again. If he wasn't careful, she would soon be cowering, and who could blame her? He had no excuse for hollering at her. She had made an honest mistake, and from the look on her face, she honestly regretted it.
"I… I'm sorry," she murmured, "I didn't know…"
Of course she didn't, Josh reminded himself. She was awfully young. Anyone with white hair must seem quite old to her. Although he was still a little disgruntled, Josh managed to conceal it. In a perfectly reasonable voice, he asked, "Do you have any other objections to me, now that you know I'm not too old?"
This time Felicity couldn't prevent her mouth from falling open. He actually looked as if her answer mattered to him, and mattered a great deal. She was having a time of it, what with having to completely readjust her opinion of him in light of the fact that he was no longer old enough to be her father. On top of that, he wanted her to all of a sudden come up with any objections she might have to him as a possible husband. The whole situation was more than a little overwhelming. "Mr. Logan, you can't be serious!" she protested, certain that he wasn't.
"Why not?" he asked, taking another step toward her. At least she didn't flinch this time.
Felicity wanted to stamp her foot in frustration. This conversation couldn't really be happening. She must be having a nightmare. "Mr. Logan, you can't possibly want to marry me," she said, sure that in doing so, she would bring him to his senses and make him stop asking her such outlandish questions.
Josh watched her azure eyes cloud over and knew that she really believed that. "What makes you so sure I can't possibly want to marry you?" he asked, almost as concerned as he was curious. That lovely face hid nothing of her emotions. He knew she wasn't just being coy with him.
Felicity shook her head in wonder. Didn't he have any idea of the gulf that separated them? "I'm a penniless orphan, a nobody," she explained patiently, "and you, you're Josh Logan." She made a gesture with her hand to indicate the scope of her statement, that not only was he Josh Logan, the man, but he was Josh Logan, the rancher. If that didn't convince him of the differences between them, nothing would.
Josh frowned in disapproval. "I'm not exactly a prince, you know. I can still marry anyone I want to. She doesn't have to be royalty, for God's sake."
"You shouldn't use the Lord's name in vain, Mr. Logan," she murmured in an attempt to distract him while she busily considered something else entirely. At some point, the focus of this conversation had shifted. In the beginning, he had been suggesting that she marry someone else. Now he was insulted because she didn't want to marry him. In fact, he seemed determined to convince her that she should marry him. Why would he do that, unless… An incredible thought occurred to her. "Mr. Logan, are you… did you… I mean, you couldn't have…"
"What?" he urged impatiently.
Felicity swallowed hard and forced the question past her reluctant throat. "You aren't trying to say that you've fallen in love with me, are you?" Saying it aloud made her feel even more a fool than thinking it had, but it was the only explanation that might justify his strange behavior. That would certainly explain why he had kissed her. What she didn't want to admit, even to herself, was how very appealing the idea was.
Josh frowned. That was a woman for you. All they could think about was love. It would be easy to tell her that yes, he had fallen madly in love with her and couldn't live without her. Then she would get all mushy and touched and would probably agree to marry him just to put him out of his misery. Josh would never tell a lie like that, though. He had no intention of falling in love with her, now or at any time in the future. Neither did he want her to think she had that sort of hold on him. "Well, no," he admitted, "but I don't think that's so very important…"
"Well, I do!" Felicity cut in, unaccountably stung and unreasonably disappointed. "Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you don't love? I certainly don't!"
The fact that she didn't love him either should not have surprised him, but somehow it did anyway. It was a remarkably unpleasant surprise, too. Josh found himself fighting a bitter disappointment and struggled to regain control of the situation. How could his plans have gone so far awry? He had thought that her despera
te need for a home was more than strong enough to compel her to accept his proposal, but apparently he had been mistaken.
Her words echoed back to him in challenge, however, especially the words "the rest of your life." She considered marriage a lifetime commitment. He liked that, and he already knew she was everything he wanted in a wife. He'd be a fool to let her go. If reason could not convince her, if she demanded emotions, he could stir her emotions. Recalling the way she had surrendered, however briefly, to his kiss, he knew that with a few more kisses, he could make her think that she was in love with him. That love would be just one more link in the chain that bound her to him.
Felicity was regretting her hasty words. She had been so careful not to rile Mr. Logan up until now, and a good thing, too, judging from the strange look on his face. When he reached for her, she knew a moment of sheer panic. "Don't!" she protested in the instant before she realized his true intent. By the time she did realize it, she was unable to say anything.
His mouth came down on hers with determined force, not roughly but with a power she could not have denied, even if she had wanted to. For a moment she felt awkward, staring up at him with her eyes so close to his face. The feel of his mouth on hers was more alarming than exciting, but then he pulled her to him and her eyes closed of their own volition. Left in darkness, her body remembered their first kiss. She tuned in to other sensations, the hardness of his chest beneath the hands she had raised instinctively to ward him off, the strength of the arms embracing her, the gentleness of the hands caressing her back.
His lips shifted against hers, demanding a response. Without meaning to, she was suddenly kissing him back. Her hands slipped up and over his shoulders until she was clinging to him. Her breath came quickly, filling her senses with his musky, masculine scent and making her weak with some nameless longing. When he ended the kiss, she knew a deep regret.
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