“How much longer till we get home?” she asked. All she wanted was to lie in her own bed, sleep, and wake up to find out it was all a bad dream.
If only.
The next couple of months were a write-off for riding; she wouldn’t be able to get back onto the bike until her ankle healed and she could use the foot brake easily. Two glorious summer months, and she’d be stuck at home, or in a car. Emotion welled in her chest and she pressed her lips together, looking out the window at the foothills.
“A few hours. I’ll need to stop at the next town and get out and stretch my legs.” Elly rubbed her eyes. “I could use a nap, but a walk will help me stay awake.”
“You work tomorrow?”
“Yeah. And I need to call Derek when we stop, too, and let him know what’s happened. He’ll have to schedule someone in the bar to cover your shifts.”
“He’ll manage,” Alex said. “There’s always someone. And I’d bet Eric will pick up the slack.”
“Good to hear. And when we get back, you’ll need to get in to see the doctor.”
Elly sounded like she had everything all planned out. It was mind-boggling. “And he’ll just tell me what the one in Nelson did—that I’ll have to take it easy for months.” Alex knew she sounded bitter.
“It’s only a couple of months,” Elly said.
“Only?” Alex repeated, her voice rising sharply. “Only? It’s an entire summer, wasted.”
“I’m glad it wasn’t worse. God, Alex, I thought I’d lost you.”
Heather wouldn’t have cared much if she’d gotten injured, Alex thought, and definitely wouldn’t have come to the hospital. It was more devotion than she could take. You only did that for someone you loved, maybe even someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Alex swallowed and picked up the water bottle again, taking a swig.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Elly shudder.
“I hate worrying over you.”
“I can take care of myself,” Alex said. Her eyelids drooped, and she blinked hard, trying to stay awake.
“You don’t need to always take care of yourself. That’s what a lover, a girlfriend, is for.” Elly swiped at her cheeks with one hand, her lips pressed tightly together. Alex pretended not to see them, pretended not to have heard Elly’s words.
Lover. Girlfriend.
It was too much.
Alex heard the growl of Will’s motorcycle as he passed them in the left lane, and her heart clenched. Lucky bastard, out there instead of stuck in this car.
Will pulled into the small parking lot of the gas station in Cranbrook. Elly pulled in alongside him, and as soon as she’d stopped, Alex undid her seat belt and pushed open the door, stepping out onto the cracked asphalt. Awkwardly, she reached back for her crutches and hobbled around the car to check on her bike. Or so she told herself. Getting out of the car was the main thing. Will was already there, checking the ropes one more time, though they’d held this far.
“The Ninja’s doing just fine, babe,” he said, patting the rear wheel of the bike. “She’ll get home in one piece.” He glanced at her and frowned. “What’s eating you?”
“Girls,” Alex bit out.
Will snorted. “All of them, or just one?”
“Just one.”
“What’s got you so panicky, babe?” Will looked puzzled. “The painkillers aren’t doing anything weird, are they?”
“It’s like Heather,” she said, her voice low. Will frowned.
“Heather? I don’t think so. That bitch wouldn’t have dropped everything to come out here, not ever. Jeez, those painkillers must be something special.”
“She’s not my girlfriend like Heather was.” Alex wasn’t even sure if she was making sense, but it was freaking her out. She didn’t want someone worrying about her, or needing her to be around, to be strong.
Will raised a brow. “Babe, you totally need to sit back down. If you don’t think Elly’s your girlfriend, then those drugs are wicked strong and you’re about to fall over.” He took her arm and led her back to the car, to the open passenger door.
“All good?” Elly asked.
“The bike’s secure,” Will said. Elly got out of the car, leaving Alex sitting there, Will standing by her door. She came around the hood.
“I’m getting a snack—anyone want anything?”
“I’m good,” Will said. “I need to take off, anyway. Gotta get home.”
“No, I’m fine,” Alex said, not looking at Elly. If she looked at her, she’d lose what little composure she had left.
“Right.” Elly turned and headed toward the gas station.
“Get some rest, babe,” Will said, leaning on the door. “It’ll be clearer when you’re not so stoned from the meds.”
“I’m not stoned,” she said, feeling irritable. He didn’t understand. “She’s not my girlfriend.”
“Just you and me, eh, Bellerose?” Will said. He gave her a gentle hug. “I don’t think that’s the way it is anymore. Think about that. But first, get some rest. Text me when you get home. I might be asleep, but if I’m not, I’ll text you back.”
“I promise.” Alex lifted her head and Will kissed her cheek, his gloved hand tilting her chin up.
“Later, babe.” She watched as he strolled back to his bike, pulling on his helmet as he went. Within a couple of minutes, he had burned out of the parking lot and was barely a black dot in the distance.
Alex leaned against the seat while she waited for Elly to return, breathing in the cool country air.
“Ready to go?”
Elly stood at the driver’s side door, holding a Slurpee. Her expression was concerned, and Alex didn’t like anyone looking at her like that.
Alex felt her cheeks heat, and to cover her awkwardness, she closed the passenger door. “Yeah, I’m ready. The sooner we get home, the better.”
Elly slipped into her seat and started the car, waiting as Alex shoved the crutches into the back. “You should call Derek before it gets too busy at Parry’s,” Elly reminded her. “I’ll keep driving. The sooner we get back, the better.”
“Good thinking.” Alex leaned between the seats and dragged her jacket from where it lay, fishing her phone from the pocket. It still had juice. Derek wasn’t going to like her news.
*
Elly pulled up outside Alex’s place, her eyes burning from lack of sleep. She’d had the sun hitting her rearview mirror for the last bit, and she wished she could crawl into bed. Beside her, Alex dozed, her foot stretched out before her, the scrubs riding up to show the plain gray brace. From what she’d heard of Alex’s conversation with Derek, he’d been pissed, and Alex had been snarky right back at him.
She worried about Alex. Did she have the savings to be out of work while she healed?
Elly turned off the car. Alex didn’t wake, so she squeezed her hand gently. That didn’t work, so she tweaked a lock of Alex’s hair. “We’re here,” she said.
Alex stirred, blinking. “What?”
“We’re home,” Elly said. “Well, you are.”
Alex rubbed her eyes. “Oh.”
Elly opened the door and stepped out. She grabbed Alex’s saddlebags from the backseat, one in each hand. Opposite, Alex rose wobbly to her feet, bracing herself on the crutches. She slung her leather jacket over one arm and took out her house keys. Slowly, they made their way up the front walk and up the concrete stairs to the door.
Elly set down the saddlebags. “Here, let me do it,” she said, holding out her hand. Alex passed over her keys and Elly unlocked the door, letting Alex go in ahead of her. Alex went into the living room and sagged down onto the leather sofa with a relieved sigh.
“Home sweet home.”
Elly left the saddlebags inside the door. She leaned on the doorframe separating the living room from the entryway. “I should get going,” she said, stifling a yawn.
Alex frowned. “What about my bike?”
Elly groaned. She’d almost forgotten. “I can’t
take it off the trailer tonight,” she said. “Will and I could barely get it up there. Between us, we couldn’t do it.”
“We can’t just leave it,” Alex argued.
“I can leave the trailer here,” Elly said, “but that’s it.”
“We need to get it down, and into the shed,” Alex insisted.
“With what magic?” Elly snapped, her exhaustion getting the best of her. “I can’t lift it, and neither can you. It’ll keep, Alex.”
“It needs to be in the shed,” Alex repeated. “I don’t want it getting nicked.”
“It’ll be fine overnight,” Elly replied, her patience at an end. “Besides, you need to rest. Let me get you some water, and then I’ll help you get into bed.”
Alex rose, standing shakily on one leg, her hand on the arm of the sofa. “It’s my bike, El. It needs to be in the shed. And I don’t need taking care of.”
Elly rubbed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Do you have a lock for it? Or a chain? I’ll take it round to your parking pad in the back and chain the trailer to the fence, and lock up the bike. But that’s the best I can do.”
Alex winced and sat back heavily, her face going pale. “In the second bedroom,” she managed, sounding as if she was holding back a cry of pain. “There’s a chain and padlock on the shelf, and my disc lock should be around there too.”
*
Alex watched Elly walk down the hallway, and she leaned back on the sofa, resting her head and closing her eyes. The painkillers were starting to wear off again, but she didn’t want to take any more. Not just yet. Her mind was finally starting to clear. Elly was here, and Will wasn’t. Will, her best friend and lover, had abandoned her. She pressed her lips together. Will would crack a joke, take her mind off the injury, and he’d understand about the bike. Elly was too worried, too clingy, and she just didn’t get it. That bike was worth the world to her.
The clink of a chain made her open her eyes.
“This one?” Elly asked, holding up a stainless-steel chain. “I couldn’t find a key, though.”
“On my keychain. Wherever I put it.” She couldn’t remember, and she fumbled with her jacket.
“Oh, I have it still.” Elly pulled the keychain from her pocket. “Got it.”
“And the disc lock?”
Elly turned her hand, showing the disc lock hanging from its neon orange reminder cable. “Got it. Where does it go, exactly?”
“On the disc brake, front or back wheel.” Alex shifted, determined to rise. “I’ll come with you.”
“Stay there,” Elly said, holding out the hand with the keys. “I’ll manage. I’m worried you’ll make your ankle worse if you don’t rest. Go lie down, and I’ll be back shortly, and then I’ll make you a cup of soup.”
Elly left and headed down the front steps. Alex grabbed her crutches and rose awkwardly to her feet. She could make her own food. And she hated soup. She hobbled into the kitchen and opened the fridge, digging out an apple and sticking it on the counter, then grabbing two eggs from their cardboard carton. They slid in her hand but she managed to set them down on the ring of one of the stove’s burners before they slipped farther and broke.
Alex took a couple of deep breaths and leaned against the counter, wiping her damp forehead with the back of her hand. She could do this. She wasn’t going to be a burden on anyone; she’d always been independent, and she still would be.
Her vision blurred, and she shuffled over to the kitchen table, sinking onto one of the chairs. Maybe she couldn’t do this. Alex put her head down on the table, the smooth wood cool on her cheek. She’d push through this, like she always did. She just needed to man up.
The painkillers must have confused her, or made her sleepy, because suddenly Elly was there in the kitchen with her, her hand on Alex’s shoulder.
“Alex? You all right?” Elly’s voice sounded thick, shaky, and Alex blinked, lifting her head. She blinked again, and focused on Elly.
Elly’s eyes were red rimmed, her cheeks blotchy. She swiped at her cheek with one hand.
“El?”
“Sorry,” Elly whispered, but the tears kept coming, and she kept swiping them away. “I just…” She took a deep breath and sat down in the chair across from Alex. “I just had this vision of what it’d be like if you weren’t here”—she wiped at more tears—“and if you’d been seriously hurt, or…” She swallowed. “Or worse, then I’d be devastated.”
Alex reached out and clasped Elly’s hand. “El, it’s all right.” Elly was usually so calm, so strong, and to see Elly like this was starting to worry her.
“It’s not all right,” she said, her voice thick with tears. “You’d never have known how much I love you, if you’d died. And I would have regretted it forever.” The words came out in a rush, and it took Alex a moment to process them.
Love?
Elly loved her?
She thought of how strong Elly was to say it, of how she’d not said it back. She never said it to anyone, not since Heather had thrown it back in her face.
Love? Who’d love you? No one, except me. But if you don’t want to be with me, then what?
Elly wasn’t Heather.
But reminding herself of that didn’t help. She wasn’t loveable, she knew it. That’s why she’d gone through a string of foster homes, why her partners were only friends. None of them had ever pushed for more, and sometimes she wasn’t even sure of Will. They were friends too, good ones, and he understood. Foster care hadn’t been kind to him either. He’d never had a Heather. Heather had loved her so much, or so she’d said, and then thrown it away. It didn’t matter that it was five years ago. It could have been yesterday.
“I didn’t die, El,” Alex said finally. Elly was hurting, and she’d hurt even more if Alex didn’t stop this. “We’re not good for each other, El. You worry about me too much, and you have too much on your plate to be spending time doing that.”
Elly sniffled. “What do you mean?”
“You have the farm, and your friends, and you won’t stick around Parry’s for long, not like me. You should find someone that’s like you, someone who deserves you.”
Elly looked stricken, but Alex willfully hardened her heart. It was for Elly’s own good. She deserved someone worthy of her love, someone who had a proper upbringing, who knew what a real family was like, who knew what love really was. She didn’t know.
“Alex, I don’t understand.” She squeezed Alex’s hand. “You don’t mean it.”
Alex extracted her hand. “Thanks, El, for coming to help me when Will asked. We’ve had a fun time together.” She rose from the chair, grappling with her crutches. “I’ll let you out. You should go home and rest.”
Elly rose too, hesitantly. “But—”
“You need to sleep,” Alex said, forestalling her protestations. “And we both sleep better alone.”
Elly didn’t have anything to say to that.
As Alex closed the door behind her, life seemed to settle back into place, the way it had been. Tomorrow she’d call Will, let him know how she was, and start planning her recovery. There were still a couple of months left in the riding season, after all.
Chapter Nineteen
When Alex came into the bar at Parry’s a couple of days later, drawing attention from the staff and regulars thanks to her crutches, Elly ignored her, running food orders to her tables. Charity came out of the bar just as Elly came back up to enter in another order, and caught her by the computer.
“What’s up with you? Aren’t you going to go say hello to your girl?” Charity asked. She grabbed a tray from the shelf underneath the computer, letting it hang from two fingers by her side.
“I’m busy,” Elly said. “I have a full section.”
“They can wait a minute,” Charity replied. “Go on.”
“No, that’s all right.” Elly shook her head. Charity frowned.
“What’s up with you?”
“Nothing.”
Nothing at all.
&n
bsp; She’d had no word from Alex; no phone call, no text, nothing. And when she’d tried to call, or text, there was no answer. After all that, nothing.
When she drove by Alex’s place the evening after they’d gotten back, the trailer had been sitting in front of the house, empty. She’d hooked it up, expecting Alex to come out of the house, but she hadn’t. It was like all they’d had hadn’t really existed after all. She’d driven away, her heart aching.
“I don’t think it’s nothing,” Charity replied. “What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Seems a whole lot of nothing,” Charity observed. Elly finished punching in her order.
“Excuse me, I need to grab drinks for my table,” she said. Charity let her go, but Elly doubted she’d escaped questioning forever. She filled the glasses with ice and pop and placed them on a tray, taking them out to the four-top Shay had seated in her section. Two couples, out for a date night, from the looks of them. The girls chattered to each other, but their hands clasped those of their boyfriends, who listened with half an ear to the conversation while they watched the sports on the TV nearby.
Must be nice to have someone.
She’d thought she’d had someone. For once in her life, she thought she’d found someone she could grow old with. Maybe she shouldn’t have left the farm, should have kept on at the diner, where she knew everyone and everyone knew her. There was a comfort in that, and it would surely have been better than this. The farm was for sale, and she’d have to make her way in the world without it. There was no going back.
When Elly finished her shift at ten, she peered into the bar before she left. Alex wasn’t there. Her spirits sank.
“Looking for your girlfriend?” Eric asked. He smiled at her, but she didn’t return it.
“No, just curious.” She swallowed against the lump in her throat at the word girlfriend. They had been, hadn’t they? “Good night, Eric.”
“See you.” He turned back to open up the dishwasher and pull out the clean pint glasses.
Betting on Love Page 21
