by Maisey Yates
“The fact that my parents were willing to spare the time to write a check to boost their likability, to gain more business, didn’t make them good, or giving, or caring,” he growled, rage coursing through him at the memory. “I don’t play that game.”
He didn’t know what it was about Lily that made him say those kinds of things. She made him want to explain. If it were any other woman, any other employee, he simply would have let them think what they wanted, no explanation offered. But she wasn’t just another woman, and she wasn’t just an employee, either. He wasn’t certain how he felt about her falling outside of those clear, distinct categories.
“I understand that. I understand how much parents can motivate what you do and don’t do.” She looked up, meeting his gaze for the first time since they’d kissed on the beach. “My mother … growing up with her was difficult. Her relationships and all the drama they came with were the most important things to her. They consumed her and I hated it. I hated seeing her so controlled by this twisted emotion that she called love that made her do and accept the most horrible things.”
“That’s why you don’t do relationships.”
She nodded in confirmation. “That’s why I don’t do relationships. Ever. I don’t want to turn into that. I don’t want anyone or anything controlling me like that.”
“I wouldn’t, Lily, you know that. I don’t do the toxic relationship thing. Women I date are free to be their own people. I’m not looking to force anyone to fit into my lifestyle, because I’m not looking to add anyone to my life permanently.”
Lily bit her bottom lip until it hurt. She was tempted, again, so very tempted, to take Gage up on his offer. She’d come out of the bedroom with the best of intentions, her protective shield in place, ready and willing to resist him and carry on like she always had. But that was impossible. She knew now. She knew about the power of desire.
Wanting sexual satisfaction was entirely different than wanting another person. It wasn’t simply about wanting to reach the peak of pleasure, it was about wanting to touch him, taste him, explore him. It wasn’t about just wanting a man. That would have been much easier to cope with. This was about wanting one man specifically. She wanted Gage. No one else.
But the fear wasn’t gone. Being with him was complicated, and not just because he was her boss. Sleeping with him would mean no barriers. There would be no way for her to stay in control the whole time. She knew that just from one kiss. Ironic since she’d always thought that when she did choose to have sex with a man her problem would be forcing herself to give up her control.
She’d imagined she would find it impossible to reach orgasm because she would be too concerned about being vulnerable, out of control. She hadn’t anticipated the man being able to rob her of it as neatly and quickly as Gage was able to.
When he was touching her, she wanted to surrender, wanted to simply allow him to sweep her off her feet and take her on the journey her body was begging to go on. And that was frightening.
She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. “Give me until after the dinner tonight,” she said. “I’ll decide by then.”
Gage’s expression didn’t change, his firm jaw set, his eyes unreadable. “Decide?”
“Whether or not I’m ready for a fling,” she said then added, “a fling with you.”
“I didn’t imagine you meant with one of our distinguished members of the board,” he said, his voice husky.
She laughed shakily. “I wanted to make sure. I know how people can spin things. I work with the media, remember?”
He leaned in, so close she could feel his breath fanning over her cheek. She closed her eyes as a shiver slithered through her body, starting in her shoulders and spreading everywhere, leaving her nipples tight and aching, her body wet with wanting him.
“This isn’t really your thing, is it? You’re not a fling kind of girl.”
Her eyes fluttered open, reality crowding all the lovely arousal that had been making her feel warm and languid and brave. “You don’t think so?”
Of course she wasn’t. She was a twenty-seven-year-old virgin, but that admission wasn’t about to escape her lips. She didn’t want him thinking he was special, or that there was something wrong with her, or that she was suddenly going to start salivating whenever she saw a diamond ring. This wasn’t emotional for her, not really, this was about physical need.
She trusted Gage, in a certain respect, but that was the only emotion involved. Still she’d had the opportunity to observe how Gage was in relationships. He wasn’t controlling, or manipulative. He was honest about what he wanted and both parties in the relationship ended up satisfied in more ways than one. That was what she wanted, all she wanted.
And she had to do this. She had to take control of her life, her body, her sexuality. Now that she realized how much of her life had been controlled by her mother’s actions, now that she saw just how much power she gave to the many men that had paraded through her mother’s life, to the drama and the fights and the tears, she knew she had to move beyond it. This was her chance. If she was brave enough to take it.
“I haven’t had time to have one since coming to work for you.” The honest truth, even if it was misleading.
“Just don’t forget that it’s only a fling. Women can be emotional about sex and if it’s been a while for you …”
She met his gaze, her heart pounding hard. “Gage, have I ever seemed like the kind of person who doesn’t know her own mind? Let me worry about it. I promise you, I don’t have one single repressed fantasy about love and happily ever after anywhere inside of me. I’m far too practical.” She stood from the couch, trying to keep her expression cool, trying to ignore her rapidly beating pulse. “And anyway, it’s only a fling. I’ll probably forget about it in a few years’ time.”
Gage crossed the room, his expression intense. He bent down and hooked his arm around her waist, bringing her into a standing position, hauling her up against him. “You won’t forget me, Lily,” he said, his voice rough.
He leaned down, his mouth urgent on hers. There was nothing slow about this kiss, nothing like the kiss they’d shared on the beach. This was fire and urgency. This wasn’t a slow tasting, this was a feast. She parted her lips for him, meeting his tongue thrust for thrust, lacing her fingers through his short dark hair, pulling him even harder against her.
His big hand cupped her bottom, bringing her tightly against his body, letting her feel the hard ridge of his erection pressing against her stomach.
He pulled away from her suddenly, his breathing harsh, his chest rising and falling. When he withdrew completely and stepped away from her she was afraid she might melt to the floor without his arms to support her.
She put a hand on her lips, feeling how hot and swollen they were.
“After the dinner, tell me what you want,” he said gruffly. “Be very sure.”
“I know what I want now,” she said with a boldness she didn’t feel. “Do you want me? I mean me, not just sex.” She didn’t know why, but that seemed important. She didn’t want him picturing one of his little blonde heiresses while he was in bed with her. That was a matter of pride.
He took hold of her wrist and pressed her hand against his chest, against his raging heartbeat. “Does that feel like I want you?”
“Yes,” she whispered. She looked down and saw, very clearly, the outline of his rigid erection pressing against his jeans. She swallowed. There was no room for her to be timid. He wouldn’t want a shy little virgin in his bed, that much was obvious from the type of women he chose to date. Which meant she’d have to be a confident virgin, a virgin who could fake more experience than she had. Well, experience she might not have, but she had desire.
She slid her hand down his chest, moved her palm to cover the hard ridge of his arousal. He let his head fall back, his breath hissing between his teeth. “So does this,” she said.
“Careful,” he groaned. “Or neither of us will be making it to dinner.”<
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A sliver of pleasure wound its way through her, along with a surge of adrenaline. This was a new kind of power, power she hadn’t anticipated. She’d assumed, because of the way her mother behaved, that when it came to sex, men held all the cards. But she knew now that wasn’t true. Right now, holding him in her hand, she was in control. She was the one driving him crazy with desire, pushing him beyond his control.
“Well, we can’t have that. I’m really looking forward to dinner.”
He leaned in, pressed a kiss to her neck, to where her pulse was fluttering rapidly. “I’m looking forward to dessert.”
The flickering light from the bonfire, the lingering heat from the day, combined with the slow, seductive music, made Lily feel like she was under a spell. Maybe she was, because she had no idea what sort of magic had bewitched her into thinking she could have a no-strings relationship with Gage. But even now she wasn’t afraid, not even after having time to reflect on what it would mean for her. What it might make her feel.
She wanted him. Why should her dysfunctional childhood keep her from having something she wanted? She’d never given it that sort of power in any other area of her life. In fact, she’d been determined to overcome it no matter what. But when it came to men, she’d let it hold her back.
It wasn’t as though there were any missed opportunities she regretted, no men she wished she’d been able to take the chance on. But if she didn’t find out what it was like with Gage, she knew she would regret that. It would be a holiday romance. Not even a romance, it would be nothing but holiday sex. She would find out what it was like, satisfy her curiosity, satisfy the flame that burned low in her body, and move on. And so would he.
They were adults, there was no reason they couldn’t be adult about it. No reason at all.
She looked at Gage, at the way the orange flames highlighted his sharp cheekbones and angular jaw. He was such a gorgeous man, and she’d kissed his perfect lips. Anticipation made her feel restless, edgy. Needy.
Soon she would know what he looked like without clothes covering his amazing body. Soon, every part of him would be hers. To explore, to touch, to taste.
“I think this is an amazing investment opportunity you have here, Mr. Forrester,” one of the board members, she wasn’t sure which one, said.
“It is,” she said, sitting up straighter. “And what Gage is doing here goes well beyond simple tourism. He’s offering a true, authentic experience, with as little or as much luxury as the guest would like to experience.”
The older man gave Gage a sly smile. “Not a bad idea, Forrester, getting your PR specialist so sweetened up.”
Gage scooted closer to Lily, looping his arm around her waist. “Lily has more professional integrity than anyone I’ve ever met. Myself included. Our relationship has nothing to do with the quality of her work. I’d recommend her business to anyone.”
Lily was shocked to hear Gage give her such an emphatic endorsement, and she said as much when the members of the board were either too intoxicated to pay attention, or had gone back to their rooms.
“It’s true,” Gage said, shrugging. “You’re great at what you do. My attraction to you has nothing to do with how well you do your job.”
“And when our relationship is over you’re planning on pawning me off? Professionally speaking, I mean.” She hated the insecurity in her voice, hated the slight quiver that made her sound weak. What did it matter if he was planning on letting her go? As long as her next job paid as well, it didn’t matter whether she stayed with Forrestation or not. She’d done a wonderful job for his company, and there was ample evidence of that.
“Not at all. I’ll have no problem working with you after things end, Lily. It’s never been an issue for me. I’m still on good terms with most of the women I’ve had relationships with, and if I’m not, it’s because of them, not me.”
“After we leave Thailand, it’s over,” she said, with much more finality than she felt. But it was vital, absolutely necessary that she put a limit on it. That this was madness brought on by a sensual setting. Madness that did not move into the office with them.
He raised his eyebrows, his mouth quirked in a sardonic half smile. “Shall we sign a contract?”
She sniffed. “I don’t think that’s necessary, but I don’t see the point of bringing it back into the office, either.”
“You drive a hard bargain, Ms. Ford.”
“I learned from the best, Mr. Forrester.”
He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead, his lips warm, the feeling of comfort it brought her making a flutter of panic spring to life in her belly. He wasn’t supposed to make her feel things. He pulled back and ran his hand over her smooth, neatly tied hair. “You need to wear your hair down for me. It’s sexy.”
She searched for some witty, off-the-cuff reply, but she lost the ability to think when he leaned in again and kissed her, the pressure of his lips tender at first, then more urgent. She put her hand on her cheek, slid her tongue over his bottom lip. Yes, she was making the right choice. She wanted this. She wanted something beyond business, something just for herself. No one had to know. Actually, everyone would believe it had happened now, with their fake engagement making headline news, whether it happened or not. Which made it all the more tempting to indulge.
Just now the only thing she could feel was a throbbing urgency that started at the apex of her thighs and radiated out. Made her feel empty and excited all at the same time.
“I think we should go back to the room,” she whispered, kissing his neck, tasting the salt of his skin.
“I think that’s a very good idea.”
Now that Lily was standing in Gage’s room, looking at the big bed in the corner, she didn’t feel as confident as she had on the beach. As she had when he was kissing her. She still wanted him, but all of her insecurities were back. She wished she had something to help boost her confidence.
Sexy lingerie would have helped. Clothes always helped her slip into her role, helped her create the image she was striving to project. She used it for work to great effect and she needed it desperately now. Needed something to help her be that confident woman that she always tried to portray in the office.
But she didn’t have any lingerie. She hadn’t really been expecting to have wild island sex with her boss … or anyone, for that matter.
Gage came up behind her, put his arms around her, kissed her neck gently, letting her feel the evidence of his arousal against her back. It was very compelling evidence.
She let out a slow breath. “Turn the lights off,” she said.
He spun her around so that she was facing him. “I want to be able to see you. I’ve fantasized about how you might look. What color your nipples are. I want to see your face when I make you come.”
Heat flooded her cheeks and she knew she was blushing like the virgin she was.
“Does that bother you?” he asked, his dark brows drawn together, his expression tight.
She shook her head. “It’s … it’s okay. I liked hearing you talk like that.” She was surprised to discover that bit of information about herself.
Yes, hearing him say things like that was embarrassing in a way, and she knew she wasn’t going to be able to give him anything like it in return, but hearing him talk like that … it was enough to help her get lost, to forget who she was, who he was, and just embrace the desire that was rolling through her in waves.
“But I would feel better with the light off,” she said.
He cupped her chin with his hand, ran his thumb lightly over her bottom lip. “Do you always make love with the light off?”
Make love. It was the first time he’d called it that. Maybe he thought it was too crude to call it what it was now that they were in the bedroom. Maybe that was his version of gentlemanly conduct. She wished he’d just stick to the basics and not muddle things. Not make her feel like they might be about to make love when she knew they were just going to have sex.
“I
…” She tried to come up with something that wasn’t a lie. “I prefer the lights off.” There. She was being economical with the truth, but she wasn’t out-and-out lying.
He came back to her kissed her gently on the lips before walking over to the other side of the room and turning the main light off. The windows were still open, casting silver moonlight over the bed, but it was better than the full glare of a sixty-watt bulb.
Her heart thundered hard when Gage walked to the bed and started to unbutton his shirt, his movements quick. Now she understood why he’d wanted the light on. She wished she could see him. But then she would lose her covering, and she wasn’t prepared to deal with that.
He shrugged the shirt off and it fell to the floor. She could see the outline of his muscles, the moonlight highlighting the ridges and valleys on his body. She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry.
“Come here, Lily,” he said softly.
She moved toward him, heart thundering. She was shaking, with nerves, with need, with the enormity of everything. It shouldn’t be such a big deal. It was only sex. People had it every day, and then afterward, they walked away. She would do the same.
“Kiss me,” she said. “Now.” Because when he kissed her, everything made sense, everything seemed right.
He didn’t move, he only offered her a half smile that she could see in the pale moonlight, the rest of his handsome face hidden in the shadows. “I told you, Lily, you have to come to me.”
She sucked in a breath and walked toward him, putting her hands flat against his chest, his body hard and hot, so masculine. She slid her hands up to his shoulders, his coarse chest hair rough against her palms. She leaned in and kissed him on the corner of his mouth, a move she hoped would tease him, because it was teasing her.
He turned his head and captured her mouth with his, the kiss turning hungry in an instant. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her breasts tightly against that hard, broad chest, the action helping to soothe the sting of her aroused nipples.
