by Taylor, N
I down the brandy and continue, “The prosecution said he was borderline psychopath suffering from schizoaffective disorder and the spells of depression became more frequent towards the end because he was delusional.”
Trey who is still hanging on my every word looks at me, “This sounds dark.”
“It gets worse. One night when I was singing a set at the club I saw Rick sitting at the back of the club. Now, as I said we didn’t socialise out of work. I thought it strange, so after the set I went to confront him but he’d disappeared and left a single rose on the table.” I shift uncomfortably because I relive every moment like it’s happening again, I go to grab my bangle but remember it’s sitting on the floor in his bathroom. Trey places his hand on my wrist and I wince but the feeling of safety he sends through me keeps me going.
I take a deep breath and steady my failing nerves, “Rick started to cancel his appointments and he looked a mess, but I was naïve. One day I overheard one of the other doctors telling someone about Rick’s past; his mother had killed herself when he was young and he was adopted by a couple but their marriage broke down and he moved here with his mother. Ricks real father moved abroad when he was young. Everything just felt awkward at work I was trying to help him but there wasn’t much I could do. A few weeks before it came to a head, I went into his office and he called me ‘Mama’. I laughed it off, of course, and thought maybe he was drunk. A couple of days later I was in the Staff room and he came out and just stared at me for ages, I tried to talk to him but he didn’t reply so I carried on as if he wasn’t there. I had started to look for another job at this point because without him, the clinic would need more partners and none of the Doctors had enough cash to invest, no money - no job.” I frown at Trey. “Anyway he started following me around in the last few weeks, he’d be waiting outside my house or in the shadows when I was at the shops or the club. I could never prove he was there but he was, I know I saw him.” I go to drink my glass but its empty and Trey hands me his to drink. I smile at him, “Are you sure you want to hear this?”
“Are you sure you want to tell me?”
I nod and close my eyes before telling the hardest part, I swallow the last part of his drink hoping it will give me the courage I need. “I had handed my notice in to Wendy, the other Doctor, and asked her to keep it quiet that I was going. She agreed that she wouldn’t tell Rick because he was going through enough with the divorce. You see none of them saw what he was like, they didn’t see the depression or the mood swings. I worked next to his office and I could hear him smashing things, I felt so awkward and scared but I was scared to leave without giving notice. He was clever, very clever, he acted as normal as can be when he saw the other Doctors, but he was dark and evil. If he could follow me to the shops or home what would stop him from following me to ask me to stay?” Tears start to prick up in my eyes and I try to swallow the lump in my throat, I look up to the stars and just let the tears flow. “On my last day, I was sorting all the paperwork for the temp to take over, I guess Rick overheard Wendy or something because he knew I was going. He was shuffling around his office talking to himself and if I went in he would just stare at me with evil eyes.” I cringe remembering the eyes that still haunt me. “At 4:30 I was packing up to leave when Rick came out and offered me a drink. I said no I should leave but his eyes turned a fiery red; he was normally so kind and patient but the man that was stood in the doorway was someone else. It was like, at the click of a button, he completely changed. So I gave in and accepted a cup of tea from him, he went to the staff room and made me a drink. The nice Rick returned and he was laughing and chatting with all the other Doctors, taking them by surprise. I didn’t know who he was from one second to the next, I had the drink and helped everyone pack up.” I take a giant gulp of air, “Then things started to go a bit hazy, I remember everyone leaving and switching the lights out, but then it’s like I was looking down on my body. I could see Rick’s office and I was slumped in his chair, he was combing my hair and saying things like – ‘I sounded like his mother when I sang’. He carried me onto the patient bed in the room and strapped me down.” I look at Trey, “I don’t know all the finer details, its things I think I remember.”
Trey nods at me understanding and acknowledging me.
“Rick said my eyes were his mothers and he’d longed for me for so long, I was his, as he’d never had anything to call his own after his birth mother killed herself. He muttered on about how he was a difficult child and hard for her to look after. How he was better now and I was his second chance. He wanted me to sing but I could see myself just limp on the bed, he kept whispering, “Sing for me my Angel.” The heat from his breath burnt my face,” I stroke my face feeling it there again, Trey leans forward and wipes the tears from my eyes.
“I couldn’t move but I was starting to see him through my own eyes now, I don’t know how long I’d been there but I knew I wasn’t dead, but I wished,” I sob, “I wished he would just kill me and get it over with.”
Trey sits up and wraps his legs around me, so he’s facing me, he wraps the blankets over my shoulders, “You don’t have to continue.”
“I do, I do.” I wipe my eyes with the sleeve of his jumper that I’m wearing.
“He went on about cutting children’s hair when he was at school in Italy, so they looked like his mother. Rick was in love with his mother all very Oedipal, with delusions that I was now her. He spoke about when she tried to kill herself by slicing her wrist, but she failed to do it.” I sniff, “Apparently she told him that it was his fault, he made her do it and she would always remember him for that.” I pull up the sleeve and turn my right palm skywards, “You will always remember you are mine Ellie, if she remembered, you will remember me!” I imitate Rick’s words tracing the scar he created.
“He carved his initials into my wrist, I couldn’t feel it - hell I couldn’t move, and there was nothing I could do. I wanted to scream I wanted to call for help.”
Trey takes my arm and looks carefully at the scar, “That’s so wrong,” He places his hands over it tightly, “I thought you said she did kill herself?”
“She did, she jumped off the balcony of their villa and landed on the railings below.” I start running my finger across the jumper, copying the scar. “She was impaled on three spikes killing her instantly, he took the scalpel and sliced me from here to here,” I point.”
“To look like her?” Trey asks.
“Yeah.” I look up to the stars, “Though I couldn’t move and I was screaming for help inside, I could see the sky from his office window. If the stars were there then my mum was protecting me.” New hot tears fall down my face, which is rapidly cooling.
“What happened?”
I feel like I am telling a child a bedtime story, “As he cut my wrist, he cut a tad too deep and nicked the artery, so I was bleeding out. He sat in the corner of the room and started rocking back and forth muttering to himself. I started to feel pain and I mean real pain like someone was performing surgery and I could feel everything they were doing. I had minimal movement back and I started to try and scream. Between blacking out and every time I came to, I screamed as much as I could. Luckily the offices were sited on a precinct, the building shared security with the other offices and a security guard came by to see why the lights were on. I remember seeing a flash light moving along the floor, then I saw an elderly man with a hat by my side shouting, everything went hazy and I blacked out due to blood loss. I would have had longer but it turned out he put Ketamine in my Tea, which paralyzed me and increased my heart rate, so I bled out quicker.”
“Fuck Ellie!” Trey throws his arms around me and pulls me onto his chest. “Where is the fucker now?”
“In prison.” I mutter feeling slightly lightened by the fact he is behind bars.
“How long did he get?”
“Well he pleaded guilty to all counts, it was dropped from attempted murder as that wasn’t his plan he wanted me alive, also with my lack of p
roof he was stalking me or any of the things he’d said the sentence was dropped lower and lower. Basically he had no priors, mitigating circumstances and a “psychotic breakdown” he got six years maximum security.”
“Six fucking years?” Treys body tenses with anger.
I nod, “Like I said, I had no proof of his prior behavior and he could appeal after two years.”
“How long ago did this all happen?”
“Two years ago, I spent two weeks in hospital and then I was put into therapy for a year. Ironic,” I laugh, “I kind of ended back where I started.”
“Is that why you moved over here?”
“Yes, I became a leper in my town. Friends didn’t know what to say to me so they stopped talking and neighbours avoided me. Somehow I became the bad guy, it was said in the papers that I was the one who broke up his marriage and I was the one who led him on causing his breakdown. I never gave him that impression once, well I don’t think I did. I started to blame myself for it all so I stopped singing, I never left the house it was awful. I had to create my own coping methods but my Grandad knew it was too much and he saw how depressed I was getting, so he spoke to my uncle and the rest they say is history.”
We lay there just staring up at the sky for a while, Trey’s body is still tense but his fingers draw tender circles on my shoulders as I lay close in his embrace. It’s a lot of information for a person to take in, I’ve been trying to digest the situation for years.
Oh please say something, the silence is starting to un-nerve me. I slowly lift my head so I can look at him, maybe his eyes will give me some clue as to how he’s feeling.
I look up at him as he just stares at the sky…Trey turns to look at me and his eyes are full of pity, his lips are thin and his face looks uneasy. I can hear the cogs turning in his head, his mouth opens and the earth shattering words escape in slow motion, “This is more than I can deal with,” his eyes look empty now. “The words train wreck spring to mind and that’s not good for my image, maybe you should leave.”
Everything stops. There’s an eerie silence, all I can hear is my heart thudding in my ears as Trey pushes me off the edge of the fragile precipice I’ve been balancing on for years. I’m falling fast and spiraling, uncontrollably, down into a never-ending abyss.
“Ellie? Ellie!”
I blink as I come to, I realise I’ve been daydreaming. My heart has crawled its way up to my throat and its pounding so loudly in my ears, it takes me a minute to register where I am.
“Ellie are you ok?” Trey asks sitting up pulling me with him.
“I was…you…I was daydreaming.” The words are little more than a whisper as they escape my mouth.
“Look at you, you’re white as a sheet and you’re shaking.” He pulls the blanket off himself and swaddles me again. “You were looking at me weird and you went so blank, you proper freaked me out!”
I feel the cold night air penetrating the blanket and the clothes I’m wearing, my body is shaking from shock and I feel like I hate him. I feel like he hissed those hurtful words at me and I want to smash his face in.
“Ellie talk to me, what’s wrong?”
“You haven’t said anything,” I hang my head down.
“I’m angry.”
“At me?”
“No,” He sighs getting off the hammock, “How someone could be so fucked up, it’s the sort of thing I deal with when acting, not real life.”
He helps me off the hammock, “It’s late and we should get some sleep.”
I crawl into the pine-sleigh bed wearing one of Treys T-shirts and his boxers, I pull the sheets up to my chin and stare at the ceiling. The room looks warmer now the blinds have been shut and the walls are softly up lit, the harsh spot lights made the room look so sterile.
“Well they’re all still having a great time.” Trey remarks as he climbs in to the bed next to me.
“They still up?”
“Well it sounds like they’ve found the karaoke machine.”
I look at Trey shocked, “You have a karaoke machine?”
His face reddens, “It was hidden.”
Trey climbs over to me filling the void between us, he lays ready for me to cuddle up to him.
“Can I ask you something without risking dragging too much up for you?”
I am laying facing him and he has both arms around me, “Sure.”
“I saw you cry when you were on stage, was that because of him, Rick?”
“Yeah.”
“I promise I will protect you, I will never let anyone hurt you again.”
The desperation in his voice worries me slightly, I smile at him and bury my head back into his chest. Mental note to self – find out if movie stars have stalker tendencies and find out why he’s so god damn needy.
I start to close my eyes as Trey holds onto me so dearly, his chin resting on the top of my head his hand gently moving up and down my back.
“I do like these on you.” I can hear his smile as his hands move over my behind and grasp the band of the boxer shorts.
Treys hands run along the rim of the boxer shorts, making me giggle as he tenderly brushes the skin. His length starts to grow between us as he becomes excited, I can hear his heart beat starting to race and his breathing deepens. I start to move closer into him as his tender strokes become more of a firm grasp on my behind.
Trey turns onto his back pulling me on top of him causing me to straddle him, looking down at his beautiful smiling face makes me excited too. His length throbs beneath me catching my tender spot, I wriggle and breathe deeply, his hands twist into my hair and pull me down meeting his kiss.
Our tongues collide making us both groan into each other’s mouths.
“You are so beautiful, do you know that?”
I look deeply into his eyes and I can see the sincerity there. I feel awful as I’ve been emotionally unbalanced all day and he’s been so caring and giving, when any other guy would’ve run a mile.
I go all coy and smile at him burying my face into his chest again, I slowly slide down his body, gently brushing against his growing excitement as I move.
I kiss his chest as I move down, then using my tongue I trail along his stomach encircling his belly button. I reach his glorious blonde trail of hair that leads to the hidden area. I sit back on my haunches and look at the glorious beast laying beneath me, then using my fingers I slowly caress the area around his trail of hair making him groan deep roar like noises. Using my fingertips I play with the hair moving further and further down until I am met by his boxers and his hard, long, pulsating sex. I lean in and kiss down his thigh till I reach the hem of his underwear, then teasing I move to the other side and repeat the action. I look up at him as I do it and I can see him trying to restrain his arms above his head, they move as if he wants to grab me and stop the teasing.
I smile and carry on, the feeling of having all the power is something I could get used to.
I run my tongue along the edge of his underwear knowing full well that my chin is brushing past him, making him moan and flinch every time my chin collides with his sex. His length grows more with every touch until the tip of it is starting to break past his boxer shorts band. I take both hands and start to stroke his sex through his boxers, He groans so loud, I’m not sure how much more he can take before he is spent, I grip the tip of his boxers and slowly shimmy them down off his well-defined hips, his sex springs out and I wrap my hand around it making his whole body jerk from my touch. I look at him as I start to move my hand back and forth with a fair grip around his length, he starts to bite his lip as he moves his hips in time with my hand movements. Trey’s breathing is deep and the groans get louder and deeper as I slowly wrap my lips around the tip of his sex, his hands can be restrained no more as they come down and fist my hair, holding me in place. I run the tip of my tongue over the head of his sex and feel his body stiffens with excitement. I move my mouth further down the shaft of his length, until the head hits the back of my throat and
I can go no further, I pull back keeping my lips tightly around him and moving jerking my hand back and forth.
Treys body is writhing around, “Fuck Ellie!”
I look up at him and our eyes meet as he looks down to watch me as I take him in my mouth.
His hands pull my head onto him faster and more of him slides in my mouth, my hand meets his pace, I take the other hand and cup his balls, knowing the desired effect would cause him to gyrate his hips more.
“Fuck,” Trey hisses through his teeth, looking at me with wild-eyes.
I look up at him, my mouth may be full but I know that my eyes are grinning wildly, his eyes close and his head falls back in unison with the moans relentlessly leaving his throat.
I close my eyes and concentrate on the task in hand, his hands fist and grasp at my hair pulling me as he thrusts his hips upwards.
