by Dena Nicotra
I shut the curtain, stomped into my bedroom, and began to weave. I needed to look good. Better than good. I needed to turn heads. I imagined a white skirt, boots and a pink shirt with a plunge that displayed more than my usual attire ever would. It wasn’t enough. My loose ponytail made me look more like a wannabe than anything. I tugged my ponytail with a concentrated focus, and pushed time, letting my hair grow beyond my existing shoulder length. I stopped when it reached the middle of my back. Leering at my own reflection, I realized it still wasn’t quite right. I needed to look like I belonged in L.A. I shut my eyes, and shook my head. When I opened them, my reflection made me smile. My naturally dark blond hair was now streaked with platinum and my skin was just a little more tan. Better. I grabbed my purse and sat on the edge of my bed.
Since Kess was the only connection I had, I focused on him. The next thing I knew I was sitting in the guest chair in his office. He shuffled some papers but he didn’t look up when he said, “Couldn’t wait until our lesson tomorrow because you missed me too much?”
“You could say that.” I mumbled, feeling unsure of my idea.
“Well, I knew that you would, but I honestly thought it would happen sooner.”
Lela pushed back in her chair by pressing her bare feet against the desk and laughed. Until that moment, I had not even realized she was in the room. “It’s a good thing she didn’t do it sooner, she might have been embarrassed,” she said as she slipped on her strappy red heels. I watched as she stood up and sauntered to the door. Before she opened it, she turned and added, “Railey said to tell you she wants to see you immediately.”
“I know.” he waived his hand at her in a dismissive way and she slammed the door as she left without so much as a glance in my direction. I looked down at my tan legs and tried not to squirm. It was clear that I had nearly interrupted a private moment. Here I was unannounced, dressed like I was on the prowl and clearly stepping on the toes of another girl.
“Don’t be ridiculous, you look amazing and she doesn’t hold a candle to your flame.” I stood up and tried to tug my skirt down. “I shouldn’t have come here.” I said in a low voice.
“Of course you should have. Besides, you didn’t interrupt anything. Lela was just trying to make you nervous.” He walked over to a small refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of beer.
“She doesn’t like me does she?”
“Who cares what she likes. Wanna beer?”
“No thanks. I-I uhm…”
“Ah yes, sweet tea right?” A glass appeared before me.
“Thanks.” My throat felt dry and hot so I eagerly gulped the tea as he took a long swig of beer and watched me.
“So since you are here, follow me while I do a sound check. Then we’ll get something to eat.” He guided me down to meet his assistant, a guy named Mike who had dreadlocks longer than my hair and an accent that I couldn’t quite make out. I listened while they discussed their business. None of it sounded very interesting so I wandered over to the edge of the stairs where I could look down at the tables below. The club was quiet except for a few servers talking and the bartender who clanked a large box of bottles on to the counter and shouted at a couple of the girls to quit chatting and finish their prep work. Then from the left side of the room I watched as a black haired girl walked in, red heels clicking across the dance floor. Something about her seemed familiar. She stopped, turned, and every so slowly looked directly up at me. I swear her green eyes seemed to shimmer as she smiled at me. Something frighteningly familiar tugged at my gut.
Kessler came up from behind me and put his arms around my mid section, just as I was backing up. “I’ll be down in a minute.” He called to the girl below. She pushed her hip out sideways and crossed her arms over her chest.
“You’ll be down here now.” She said in an icy tone. Kess laughed and turned me around to face him.
C’mon, let me introduce you to my lovely sister.” He tugged my hand as he guided me down the stairs and across the floor toward her. The closer we got the more familiar she seemed.
“Joey, this is my big sister Railey,” he said.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I said and extended my hand.
She didn’t take it. Instead, she looked down at it, crinkling her nose with disgust before she turned her full attention back to Kess.
“I need to speak with you.” Green eyes briefly glared at me. “Privately.” I wondered if this situation could get any more awkward. At this point, I lowered my hand, (which I still had extended like an idiot) and tried to excuse myself. There was no place to go but to sit at an empty table.
“I’ll just wait over there,” I mumbled and pointed to the nearest booth. Kessler’s sister was not at all interested in meeting me -- and after her icy display, well let’s just say that I was fine with that. Besides, she gave me a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something about her eyes seemed so familiar. I couldn’t read anything, which bothered me even further. I decided I didn’t like her. Being completely honest, she was extremely pretty, despite her sour temperament. Her blunt bangs made her look far more innocent than I gathered she actually was, and her black and white striped stockings were extremely cute. She sort of reminded me of a Japanese cartoon character. I sat in the booth and took a few deep breaths to regain my composure. Since the room was dimly lit, I closed my eyes and tried to call out to Kalan. “Can you hear me? Where are you? Please talk to me Kalan. I just need to know that you are alright!” My mental text message went unanswered. I tried again, this time shouting out mentally. Still nothing.
“Do you want a drink or something?” I jumped in my seat. The little red-headed waitress smiled at me and I shook my head.
“No thanks. I’m just waiting for Kess.” I said trying not to appear as out of place as I felt.
“I know. He might be a while. Let me get you a drink.” She was gone before I could say anything else but when she reappeared with a glass of red wine, I tried to refuse.
“I don’t…uhm, really drink. I’m not even twenty-one,” I said in a whisper, but she wasn’t taking no for an answer.
“Don’t worry about it, it’s on the house. Kess said to keep you company.” She sat her tray on the table and slid in across from me. Her broad smile was genuine and I smiled back at her. “So I hear you are from Arkansas. What’s it like there?” She leaned in as if she was waiting for something extraordinary to come out of my mouth.
“It’s so different from here.” I said and laughed. That was an understatement. My life was so far from this type of environment that I couldn’t begin to explain the disparity.
“I’ll bet. I’m from Atlanta originally. My family moved here when I was eight so I don’t really remember it. My name’s Paula, but you can call me Pepper. Everybody does.”
“Thanks.” I said and took a tiny sip of the wine. It was actually really good, and by the time I finished the glass I was feeling far less self-conscious. Pepper wasn’t being completely honest in our conversation, but I didn’t mind. She told me that she was a singer and that she almost had a record deal, but there was more to the story that I could not read. It had something to do with her twin brother. Pepper hadn’t talked to him in a long time. There had been an accident of some sort. I was fairly sure it was serious. I tried to gather more insight, but my head was buzzing too much. I vowed to myself that I would take a closer look at her thoughts later.
She left to slice lemon for the bartender, but returned with another glass of wine for me fifteen minutes later. “He’s actually not as bad as his bark,” she said and I realized that I was completely distracted and hadn’t been listening. I quickly retraced her thoughts and realized that she was madly in love with Martin the bartender. “He actually hired me on the spot even though I had no experience. I think that he likes me as much as I like him but he has this stubborn streak…”
A part of me was listening but the other part was trying to tune into Kessler. Where was he? It has been at least an hour and we were s
upposed to go get something to eat. Though, I was almost done with my second glass of wine and not really feeling like eating anymore. A little while later people started coming in and the music was blasting. Pepper had to get back to the bar but promised to check in on me. I watched her walk away and then sat there sipping my wine wondering what the hell I was doing. My head was definitely fuzzy. Lord knows I was not the drinker. I’d had beer a few times back home, but usually just a few sips made me feel stupid.
There was that one time I’d danced in the bed of Tyler Benson’s truck to a stupid country song about dancing in the moonlight. God I missed going out to the lake at night with my friends. There wasn’t a whole lot to do in my little hometown, but tailgate parties were always fun. Accept of course for that time. Jeez, was I embarrassed the next day at school. Even if Tyler and his buddies thought I’d looked hot. That was the only reason I didn’t undo it. It was kind of nice to feel desirable.
Some drunk guy bumped into my table and snapped me out of my memories. “Wanna dance?” he said, which sounded more like “wannadansh?” “No, she definitely doesn’t want to dance with you.” Kess said as he slid in across from me.
“Hey, sorry man, I didn’t know she was with you.” The guy made a half-hearted attempt at a smile and then wobbled to a nearby table to ask someone else to be his victim.
“Wow, I am so sorry Joey. I didn’t mean to leave you sitting here by yourself for so long. My sister can be a pain in the royal ass sometimes, but we own this place together so unfortunately sometimes business needs take priority.” I swallowed the last of my wine and smiled at him.
“It’s okay.” I had a vague sense of how that came out sounding a little like “s’kay” but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. My tongue was feeling way too fat for my mouth and then I just started giggling like an idiot.
“I think we better get you some food.” Kessler stood and waited as I scooched out of the booth. He extended his hand and guided me through the crowd and out the side door. Pepper waived at me and I smiled over my shoulder at her as Kess led the way out. The cool night air made me feel more alert but I was a little bummed that the wine was in there and I wasn’t.
“So, what sounds good, Chinese? Italian? Maybe a burger? I bit my lip and looked up at him. “Italian sounds good.” I was also pretty sure that I could get another glass of wine at an Italian restaurant. Jeez, it’s a good thing I don’t really like drinking...Kess interrupted my thought
“Looks like you kinda like it if you ask me.”
“Shup Kess” I slurred as we made our way to the parking lot. Just as I slid my way into the passenger seat, I could have sworn I heard Kalan but his voice was distant and faint. I felt my heart speed up. “Talk to me, please talk to me” I scrunched my eyes shut and tried to focus, but it was Kessler that responded and not Kalan.
“Okay, what do you want to talk about? I can think of better things to do than talk. Talking is overrated actually.” It wasn’t until he spoke that I realized I had just tried talking to Kalan aloud. There was two of him staring back at me. “I-I was just wondering…” Kess leaned in closer and finished my sentence “if I’d be as good as you think?” He was looking at me with those steamy eyes again and despite the alarm bells that were going off some place in the back of my mind I found myself unable to speak. Jo-Jo girl was gone-gone. I leaned into him, closed my eyes, and puckered up. I was waiting for a kiss, but it didn’t come. He started the engine and pulled out on to the crowded boulevard. “We’ll have to save that for a time when you are more aware of your thoughts,” he said.
I tried to think of something to say back to him, but my grasp on a fluid vocabulary was a little limited. I knew if I opened my mouth it would come out all slushy. “Pepper took good care of you.” He was chuckling and glancing over at me. If I were in my right mind, I would have been embarrassed by my behavior. Instead, I managed a grin, but no words.
The restaurant Kess selected was quiet and very nice. The tables were covered in starchy white tablecloths and it seemed like the whole place was bathed in candlelight. There was a huge stone fireplace in the back and Kess guided me by the elbow behind the gentleman who greeted us at the door. Kess apparently knew him because they exchanged a few words about “the usual table” and we were seated right in front of that cozy fireplace. There were several couples in the front area but no one where we were. “This is really nice.” I said and tried to get my eyes to focus on the menu in front of me. It was no use. The fancy black writing was doubling and seemed to be lifting off of the page like one of those 3D movies.
“Can I recommend something for the lady?” Kess said in a gentle tone, that in my mind teetered on sexy. I found myself fantasizing about that kiss which made me warm in low places. I tried not to think about that.
“That would be great.” I said with a giggle and closed the menu. The truth was, I really just wanted another glass of wine, and maybe some of that warm bread that perched in a pretty basket, just out of my reach. Kessler snickered and said something under his breath.
“What?” I asked raising my head to look at him.
“You just weaved a basket of bread.” He said, and smiled at me with twinkling eyes.
“Oh, I did that?”
“Yup.”
“Well, then where’s my glass of wine?” I propped my elbows on the table and rested my too heavy head in my hands.
“Are you pouting?”
“Kess, I’m just super seriously needing a glass of wine.” Why I tried to put two s’s together was beyond me because it sounded like “shupersherish-ly” and definitely contradicted my attempt at sounding casual and together.
“I’m not one to deny a lady her wishes, in fact I’m more for indulging them. Besides I think you are getting more adorable by the damn second.” At that moment a waiter came to the table with a bottle of red wine and two glasses. He uncorked the bottle and then handed the cork to Kess. I watched as he smelled it and then nodded at the waiter. The plum colored liquid filled the glass and I licked my lips. I took it with both hands and sipped (okay, gulped) happily as Kessler ordered for us. My focus literally stopped at that glass and I didn’t really care what he was ordering. Who needed food when you had wine? I tried to ignore that little voice of reason that kept trying to tell me to stop. (Shupshtupid voice.)
“Maybe you should eat a piece of bread first” Kess cautioned, and handed me a buttered piece of sourdough. I took it from him, but swallowed the last of my glass before I bit into it. He watched me eat and didn’t say anything. His eyes were sparkling and I wondered absently what he was thinking as I tried to swallow.
“I’m thinking that you are a long way from home, and that you have a lot to learn little weaver” he said softly and then he reached out and wiped my lips with his napkin. I stared into his handsome face and wondered again what it would be like to kiss him. His lips were gorgeous. Would that lip ring bug me? I couldn’t’ speak. Kess poured more wine into my glass and then lifted his own. “Cheers to learning new things,” he whispered and I raised my glass to his.
“Cheers!” I said and hiccupped. Oh great. Why now? “Please excuse (hiccup) me.” I covered my mouth and tried to take a big deep breath to make it stop. Kess tilted his head back and laughed softly. “You really are adorable, you know that?” I tucked my hair behind my ear and grinned at him.
I was thinking really naughty things, and the more I gazed into his eyes, the more I thought those naughty things. Whoa Jo-Jo, slow down. I tried to reason with myself a little bit because this was dangerous. I was grateful when the food came. Kess had ordered a dish of chicken and mushroom ravioli for me that was covered in a cream sauce, pungent with buttery garlic and topped with freshly grated parmesan cheese. I took a little bite and closed my eyes. “This is really good. I’ve never tasted anything like this.”
“I can’t imagine that they would have good Italian food in your little town.”
“Nu-uh, but they do have some killer catfish.�
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“Catfish huh?”
“Yep. Catfish Junction has the best catfish in town, and hush puppies too” I added, nodding my head as if this later piece of information confirmed the goodness. Kess swirled his spaghetti against a spoon and listened to me intently.
“What else do you have out there in your little town?”
“Welp, we have two stop lights, a chicken place…and a Circle K. There’s no movie theatre, but the next town isn’t that far so we all go there if we want to shee a sow.” I scrunched my eyebrows and tried to get my eyes to focus more clearly. Kess nodded and poured more wine in my glass. My hiccups had stopped so I figured I was good to drink some more. Somehow talking about home made me feel more relaxed and besides, I had eaten a little so it would just soak up that wine and I’d be fine. Perfect rationality. I downed the glass before I knew it and didn’t stop Kess when he poured me another. How many had that been? Oh well, what did it matter? I wasn’t driving.
“You know what, I am really having fun with you Kess” I blurted, and didn’t care. Kess reached out across the table and took my hand in his.
“I’m glad you are enjoying yourself.” His hand on mine felt warm, and intimate. My heart began thudding wildly in my chest. I wanted more than anything to kiss him. I looked into his eyes and then like a smooth scene shift…we were standing on the beach.
“Oops!” I managed and stumbled forward. He caught me and helped me to sit in the cool sand. I’d had a fleeting thought about the beach, but hadn’t meant to actually pull myself to it.
“It’s no problem love. I can follow your lead,” his voice was low and breathy.
“I-I guess I should have mentioned why I don’t drink.” I was slightly embarrassed, but more than a little impressed that for once, someone could not only relate to me, but match my stride.
“Did you get enough to eat?” His voice was soft and brushed against my ear. I hadn’t realized that we had a blanket under us until he scooted closer to me. The wind was blowing cool and my extra long hair flew into my face. I pushed it back and looked up at him.
