by Monroe, Max
They looked right at home in the center of the dance floor, and I silently wondered if they were regulars at La Plancha.
“Drinking already?” an all-too-familiar voice called out over the music, and I glanced over my shoulder to find Ollie striding toward us, a sexy, amused little smirk cresting his full lips.
I could hardly register my shock at seeing his face.
But luckily, Jordy and his pals actually responded to his arrival.
“Ollie! My man!” Clive bellowed and hopped up from his barstool to wrap a friendly arm around Ollie’s shoulders.
The rest of the guys pretty much joined in after that, and before I knew it, Ollie’s presence turned our group of five into six.
Me, on the other hand… Well, I just sat there trying to figure out how the one man I’d been trying to avoid was standing directly in front of me being fangirled over by a bunch of big surfer dudes.
So much for avoiding the hotel bar, huh?
Apparently, Oliver Arsen had a knack for unexpectedly showing up every-fucking-where.
Eventually, I found my manners. And after a short hello was passed between us, he ordered a beer from the bar, and I moved my focus back to the dance floor as he chatted with the guys about what the waves were looking like at the competition’s next stop in South Africa.
“Leave your purses at home, mates,” he teased loudly. “Otherwise Eastern Cape will eat you alive.”
Jordy and the guys chuckled, and I tried like hell to tune him out.
It was like my brain was fixated on watching him, listening to him, taking him in.
With sanity being my priority, I moved my gaze back to the young couple gliding across the dance floor. They were spellbound by one another. Their gazes were centered on each other, and every time he pulled her close, I damn near got goose bumps from the sexual tension sizzling between them.
The girl was downright beautiful, and her floral skirt twisted about as her partner spun her in circles around the dance floor.
I felt a bit envious of how confident and secure and free she looked in that moment. Not a care in the world. She was solely focused on living in the moment with her man.
Deep down, I wanted that kind of companionship so badly I could taste it.
[sighs]
Isn’t that what we all want?
Someone to share your life with. Someone to experience life with.
Someone who makes you feel secure and loved and safe enough to let loose and live in the moment.
Someone who inspires you to live in the present and look toward the future and doesn’t inspire doubt or uncertainties.
For those of you who’ve found that with someone, hold on to it tightly. Appreciate it. Nurture it. Never take it for granted.
And for those of you who’ve yet to find it, why in the hell is it so hard to locate?
Why can it look so easy for some, yet for us, it feels like the most impossible task?
[audible pause]
As I watched the beautiful couple enjoy themselves, I couldn’t stop my brain from taking a trip down Memory Lane and straight to Tiago Boulevard.
Dancing had been kind of our thing.
Well, it had been his thing that eventually became my thing too.
We’d frequented a little salsa bar in Harlem, and his Brazilian roots had only made me a better dancer to that style of music. The way he’d move, the way he’d dance so seductively with me in his arms, it had been one of my favorite memories of our relationship.
[scoffs]
Well, if you could call what we had an actual relationship. It feels more like a relation-shit once I factor in the whole lying about moving to another country thing just to break up with me.
[laughs softly]
But I can’t deny that we did have good memories, guys.
So good, that night, while I sat at the bar and watched the crowd at La Plancha dance, I found myself making a mental note that if I had the opportunity to write a Dear Ex-Boyfriend letter to Tiago, I shouldn’t just write about the awful stuff, but the noteworthy, happy stuff too.
Deep down, I knew, and still know, that’s the only way to truly get closure.
You have to see the big picture, the good and the bad.
You have to step outside of yourself, outside of the things that you regret and the things that hurt the most, and see things objectively.
It definitely isn’t an easy task, but it’s needed.
[audible pause]
But that night at La Plancha, even though my mind wanted to linger on my past relationships and past hurts, an outside, larger-than-life force refused to let that happen.
“Want to dance?”
The question broke my trance, and I looked away from the dance floor and into Ollie’s mocha gaze.
[sighs dreamily]
His eyes…they are just…yeah, they’re my version of kryptonite.
Big, brown, and with gold flecks that went so deep I felt like I could actually swim inside of them.
Which said a lot, considering I couldn’t even fucking swim.
Clearly, they were dangerous, and it took me a long moment to realize he’d asked me a question in the first place.
He stared back at me, waiting for an answer, and once I gained enough brain function to form words, I blurted out, “Me?”
His smile stretched all the way to those damn eyes of his.
“No, I’m asking Jordy if he wants to dance,” he teased, and I sighed.
“Can you even dance?”
“What kind of question is that?” he retorted with a raised eyebrow. “Of course, I can dance.”
“Well, you seem to think you can sing, and I’m still harboring eardrum damage from the long drive to the hotel in Sydney.”
“I think you were just a bit jet-lagged,” he said, and amusement cradled his words. “Your ears probably weren’t working properly.”
I laughed at that. “Pretty sure my ears aren’t the problem.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“Your horrible, off-key singing.”
“Well, I guess it’s a good thing I’m not asking you to sing a duet, yeah?” He smirked, taking my teasing jab in good humor. “Now, how about that dance?”
Dancing required an up close and personal kind of interaction.
And up close and personal with Ollie sounded like the absolute worst idea.
Well, let me rephrase. My body thought it sounded like the best idea since Nutella, but my mind, well, it knew it was a horrible plan.
“I appreciate the gesture, but…” I paused and shook my head. “I think I’m good.”
But my polite decline fell on deaf ears.
Ollie leaned closer and whispered, “C’mon, Lucky. Show me what you’ve got.”
Show me what you’ve got.
It was a challenge.
And what did the Type 3 Achiever do? You guessed it.
Next thing I knew, my hand was in his, and Ollie led us toward the center of the dance floor.
The heels of my platform shoes crunched across the sand covering the concrete floor, and the music vibrated and pounded inside my ears as he maneuvered us through the crowd and stopped right in the center of the floor, right beside the twentysomething couple.
“You ready, little fire?” he asked and pulled me tight into his arms.
I looked up into his soft brown gaze and tilted my head to the side. “Ready for what?”
“For this.” He smirked and spun me away from his body before pulling me tight to his chest again.
I squealed a little in surprise when his skillful hands managed to keep me on my feet.
“You can actually dance?” I questioned, and he just responded by adjusting my hands on his body, my right hand on his shoulder, my left hand against his waist, before leading our bodies in a rhythm that matched the seductive beat of the music.
And as I stared up into the dark brown depths of his eyes, I felt equal parts high and terrified.
He
looked good.
He smelled good.
He felt good.
And the way his tongue snuck past his teeth to wet his lips only had me wondering how I was going to get out of this bar without making a huge mistake.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt this draw, this pull, this undeniable need to reach out and take a taste. My body vibrated with the desire to kiss him, taste him, brush my fingers across his bare skin.
The next song bled into another, and I could barely hear it over my heart pounding recklessly inside my chest.
Our bodies stayed pressed together.
Slowly, seductively, we danced to the rhythm Ollie created, and the more I felt the warmth of his skin against mine, the more I felt the way his muscles rippled and flexed beneath my fingertips, the harder it became to ignore the visceral way he made me feel.
He pulled me tighter, and goose bumps spread across my skin like a wildfire.
“I like the way you move,” he whispered into my ear, and the goose bumps turned to shivers. “Pretty sure I’m not the only bloke inside this joint thinking that either.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
Instead of answering my question, he adjusted our bodies so his thigh was between my legs and our hips were pressed against one another.
Up close and personal, people.
We were so close that I could feel the warmth of his breath as it brushed across my cheek.
I was done. Entranced. Undeniably lost in the feel of him.
I stared up at his lips and then his eyes and then back at his lips, and I could tell he was doing the same thing to me.
His tongue snuck out past his teeth again, and my brain started to go fuzzy.
Just take a taste. One little teeny tiny taste, my brain suggested.
But my stupid brain didn’t understand I wouldn’t be satisfied with just one little taste. If I pressed my lips to his, I would want to push my tongue past those perfect lips of his and kiss him. Really fucking kiss him.
[sighs]
It was bad.
I’d never felt so damn tempted in my whole life.
And I knew, with everything inside of me, one kiss with a man like Ollie would never be enough.
He might’ve annoyed the fuck out of me.
He might’ve made me feel crazy at times.
And he was probably the biggest jerk I’d ever met.
But my body was drawn to him like a magnet. And once magnets came together, they stayed together, unless one hell of a force stepped in and pulled them apart.
I knew I didn’t have that kind of strength when it came to men like Oliver Arsen.
I’d more than proven that with my love-life track record.
Thankfully, like a gift from the heavens above, the band finished up their current song and, instead of beginning another, they let the bar know they’d be taking a fifteen-minute break.
I used that short reprieve to step away from Ollie and mutter some bullshit excuse about needing to go to the bathroom.
I didn’t waste any time after that. I just up and left him on the dance floor, turning on my platforms and heading back toward the front of the bar.
By the time I made it inside the empty, one-stall restroom, I stood in front of the mirror and scrutinized my reflection.
My cheeks were flushed, and my heart pounded an erratic rhythm at my neck.
“What in the hell are you doing?” I asked the stupid girl staring back at me.
She had no answers, mind you, and I knew I had to get out of that bar and back inside my hotel room before I did something really stupid.
Apparently, one damn mojito was enough for me to lose all inhibitions and go against everything I was trying so hard to right.
I wet a paper towel and patted the coolness against the hot, flushed skin of my neck and my cheeks until I felt like I’d pulled it together enough to make a quick getaway for the exit.
Once I stepped out of the bathroom, I spotted the guys at the bar and mercifully noted that Ollie was busy talking to a group of young guys off to the side of where Jordy and his three buddies sat.
“I think I’m going to head out,” I said quietly to Jordy once I reached the bar.
But while I said it, my eyes were fixated on Ollie’s location.
Still chatting.
Still distracted.
Still unaware that I was back from the bathroom.
“You’re leaving?” Jordy asked and quirked a brow. “You okay?”
I nodded. “I’m good. Just a little tired.”
“Give me two minutes to close out my tab, and I’ll walk you back to the hotel.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
More like, I didn’t have time to sit around and wait for him to do that.
“Trust me, I do.” He flashed a serious look. “I’m not letting you walk back to the hotel in the middle of the night.”
He had a point. I mean, Bali wasn’t an unsafe place to be, but it wasn’t exactly home either.
“Okay,” I agreed. “I’ll be out front waiting for you.”
I probably should’ve waved goodbye to his friends.
I probably should’ve said goodbye to Ollie.
I probably should’ve done a lot of things in that moment, but the only thing I could do was walk outside the bar and wait for Jordy on the sidewalk.
I didn’t trust myself to do anything else.
* * *
By what felt like the skin of my teeth, I managed to make a clean getaway.
Jordy paid his tab, met me outside, and I ensured we didn’t dillydally around.
I was officially a woman on an avoidance mission.
[sighs]
Although, it’s still kind of up for questioning what exactly I was avoiding.
In my head, I’d told myself it was Ollie.
But in hindsight, I kind of wonder if I was more avoiding myself than anything else…
Even though night was upon us, the streets of Bali bustled with tourists and locals. And my platform heels tapped against the cobblestone pavement as Jordy and I headed back toward the hotel.
My body vibrated with a million different emotions, and my brain was solely focused on what happened back there on the dance floor with Ollie.
Had I made that dance out to be more than it was?
Had Ollie felt it too, or had I just imagined it all?
I had no idea what he’d felt or hadn’t felt.
When a visual of his tongue sneaking out past his teeth filled my head, my cheeks heated at the thought of it.
I’d been so entranced by him. So damn mesmerized by the way it had felt to be pressed so close to his big, strong body that I had to fight myself from doing something reckless.
I’d wanted to kiss him. Badly.
And I hated that he had the power to spur that kind of instinctive reaction from me.
I knew I was probably shit company, but Jordy didn’t say much as we walked.
And I sure as hell was too lost inside my own damn head to formulate any sort of small-talk type of conversation.
At one point, as we navigated through a busy crowd watching a street performer do tricks with a little brown monkey wearing a tiny yellow hat, Jordy reached out and took my hand in his.
But I hadn’t really registered that fact until we reached the lobby of the hotel and he had to let go of my hand so we could slide through the circular doors.
[sighs]
Yeah, I was a mess, you guys. A total fucking mess.
“Thank you for making sure I made it back okay,” I said as we stepped onto the elevator. I tapped my index finger on the number five button for my floor.
“Of course.” Jordy nodded and then added, “But we haven’t made it all the way back just yet.”
I tilted my head to the side in confusion.
“I’m a full-service kind of guy, Lucky,” he said by way of an explanation, which I didn’t quite understand until he stepped off on the fif
th floor with me.
“Are you walking me all the way to my room?”
“I said I’d make sure you made it back to the hotel safely, and I meant it.”
“Pretty sure I could’ve managed the short walk from the elevator,” I said, but he just grinned in response.
When I arrived at room 533, I stopped in front of it and reached inside the pocket of my jean shorts to pull out my room key. I waved it in the air a little and said, “Mission accomplished.”
“Did you have fun tonight?”
Probably a little too much fun, but I wasn’t going to pull him into my head full of crazy.
“Uh-huh,” I answered. “Thanks for inviting me.”
“Good.” He nodded and glanced down at his shoes, and I had the odd feeling that something was on his mind. Something he wanted to say, but for some reason, wasn’t saying.
“You okay?” I asked and reached out with my free hand to touch his shoulder gently.
Instantly, he looked up to meet my eyes, and the way his blue gaze sparkled and danced with uncertainty, I only felt more confused.
“Can I try something?” he asked quietly, and I searched his gaze a little harder in the hope that it would give me some insight.
“Try something?”
“Something that’s been on my mind lately.”
What was he talking about?
“O-okay,” I responded, still unsure of where this conversation was headed.
[sighs]
Full disclosure: I should’ve known what he was asking.
The look in his eyes. The way his tongue snuck out to wet his lips.
All the signs were there.
But I wasn’t on my A game that night.
A brain full of Ollie didn’t exactly provide a clear head…
Jordy stepped closer, and when he reached up and cupped my cheek with his hand, my breath caught in my throat from the surprise of it. “I just need to know,” he whispered, and before I knew it, Jordy’s lips were pressed to mine.
He started out hesitant, slow, more soft than anything else, and I was too shocked to understand if I was a full participant in the kiss or if it felt like he was basically kissing a mannequin.
