Letting Go
Page 16
Chapter Sixteen
Joel
HE KEPT HIS days busy. There was always something to do, whether fiddling around with little problems in the house, or taking Karli to dance practice, or work four days a week. When he got time off, he visited Manny, and they played video games sometimes and checked out movies at other times. Eventually, Joel left his state of the doldrums, and began thinking of a girl he’d recently met at a party the weekend before. Her name was Eleanor, a very traditional name, and she had strawberry blonde hair and pearly green eyes. She was outgoing, outspoken, and adventurous, a combination of toxicity, but a combination that would definitely help Joel forget somebody else.
Joel made arrangements to take Eleanor on a date the next weekend at the crab shack on Spruceling Road, and he was downright excited. He needed to get out of the house (or Manny’s apartment), and enjoy what life had to offer.
Yet on a blistering hot Monday afternoon—the first week in June—Joel found himself preoccupied in thought as he passed his father’s shoe shop. He languidly allowed his mind to drift, imagining the dream of his parents’ murder at the place. Anxiously, Joel pulled over and entered the shop.
The familiar smell drifted into his nostrils. His father stood at the counter, placing an order for an old gentleman Joel recognized as Kip Rinsten, and Ethan Sealet didn’t even look up at the tower of his son behind Kip. Instead, Ethan engaged in a lively banter with old Kip, who happened to be Mrs. Elsie’s cousin, and the devilish Mrs. Trantridge’s younger brother.
Eventually, Kip moved to the side, and Ethan was forced to size up his one and only son. Ethan didn’t smile, but rather said, “Hiya. Looking for some cash?”
Kip took the hint and left.
“Dad,” Joel said, his voice shaky as the door closed, “I just wanted to talk.”
“What is there to talk about, Joel?”
“You haven’t seen Chlo or me in nearly two weeks, and then you text me angry, ravenous messages about the end of the world. I’m sorry, Dad, but needing my help to arrange a free birthday party at the aquarium is non-negotiable. What are you thinking?”
Ethan shrugged. “I thought you could help me.”
“Why do you need a free birthday party? There’s the ocean, anyway. Is it a customer?”
“Look, Joel, there are some things I’d rather you not know, and this is one of them.” For the first time since his parents’ divorce announcement, Ethan looked guilty.
“Chloe’s birthday isn’t until July 6th. I can bet you don’t know mine. So, who’s the birthday party for? All our family lives in Atlanta. Only mom’s mom lives in Savannah, and she has no kids who need birthday parties.”
“Joel, stop it,” complained his father. He looked over his shoulder, where, through a partition, his hired friend Thomas helped.
“Why did you and Mom decide to divorce, huh? Is there something you want to tell me?”
“Joel, you’re being extremely inappropriate. There are some things you just don’t need to know, and this is one of them.”
Joel ran a hand through his thick hair. He wanted to take the old man’s shoes, still sitting on the counter, and slap them across his father’s face. Instead, he found himself at a loss, and he breathed, “Okay. You know, okay. There are certain things I don’t understand in this life, and you’re one of them.”
Immediately, Joel knew this was a better response than the physical violence associated with attacking someone using the disgusting filth of the bottom of a shoe. Ethan winced in pain before abruptly turning and rushing to the space where Joel could not see him. Unfortunately, Joel was used to his father’s running away to a place unseen, and he turned around and walked out.
ALEX WAS WORKING at Jimmy J’s when Joel stepped inside, stuffed a wad of bills onto the counter, and anxiously said, “Get me anything that has meat.”
Tonight Alex had the cash register, and luckily, no one else was around, except two other attendants who usually were so into each other (the romances of a fast food diner in Breezewater) they could care less what Alex did in his spare time. He had seen Joel drive in like there were no speed limits, or rather, he heard obnoxious rap music blasting from the speakers. When Joel entered, tall and angry, Alex supposed he would have to be a shrink again, and that was okay. He was bored to death, as it was a slow hour, and talking to Joel did beat listening to the sweet nothings behind him.
Joel waited at the nearby counter as Alex prepped the food, sticking it on a tray while doling out a large Coke. Then, making sure no one was about to enter the restaurant, he jumped over the counter and seated himself by Joel at a Formica tabletop in the smack-dab center of the restaurant. The sky was laced with puffy, gray clouds, hinting a summer shower, yet Alex had seen nothing on the radar suggesting any rain. Typical weather forecasts, never accurate.
“I hate my freaking life,” Joel said, taking a large bite from a double patty cheeseburger. Through the gulps of smothered food, he began to recount what had happened with his dad. The strained relationship, now blown to bits; the lies, the questioning. Joel even brought up Eleanor.
As Alex listened, judging completely but saying nothing, steam seemed to seep from Joel’s brain. He felt much better with one person listening to his regaling of his daily life, the strife attached to the divorce, the bitterness following right after. Alex barely blinked, and his casual utterance of, “Yeah, yeah,” somehow propelled Joel to reveal even more about himself, more than he’d ever revealed to anyone, including Manny.
“Alex, can I ask you a question?”
“Yeah.” He looked around, making sure no customers were entering the restaurant. Aimee had promised she would take care of the drive-thru, but he hadn’t seen any cars enter the parking lot anyway. Some beeps sounded behind them.
Joel sighed. “Do you think my dad has a lovechild?”
“A lovechild? Come on, Joel.”
“I’m just sayin’. It wouldn’t surprise me if he was a cheater. In fact, I’m pretty sure I caught him once, but… I got over it. He and Mom got over some of their issues, and everything went back to normal. But, come on, he asked me if the aquarium would give him a free birthday party for someone he knows? Doesn’t that seem quite far-fetched and also a little desperate? Like, why would he need that?”
Alex shrugged. “Joel, you’ve got a lot going on.”
“Yup, I would agree. Now diagnose me.” He stuck a fry in his mouth.
Alex crossed his arms. “I’m definitely not a shrink, but I think I can spot a lot of ick when I see it. You know, maybe you should just move away. Get out of here, because this is just going to drag you down.”
“You can say that again. But where would I go?”
“I’m not sure. How about Portugal? Senegal? Madagascar?”
“I would prefer to stay in the United States of America.”
“Join the military.”
“No thanks.”
“Go to graduate school early?”
“Nah.”
“Well, the way I see it, your dad’s got a lot of issues, and that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be a carbon copy of him. You’ve been acting like him for a long time, but that doesn’t have to be you. Do you get what I’m trying to say?”
Joel shrugged. “Yes. But maybe…”
A customer entered, and Alex stood up. “You know, Joel, you’ve got a choice. Make something good of yourself in the middle of this fray. Or succumb to its disease.”
Realizing Alex was done, Joel stood, threw away his trash into the receptacle, and disappeared outside. When Eleanor called him minutes later, he told her he needed a break, and before he knew what he was doing, he was lighting another blunt.