Letting Go

by Katie George

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Joel

  HE COULDN’T FEEL anything for a few good minutes before the pain roared to life. It hit him like a jet crashing into the glassy sea, and shrapnel pierced him everywhere. His bones felt shredded into thin slices of white marrow while his blood was sucked dry. He couldn’t think of anything except Manny’s rambunctious smile on their drive home from the beach, how he’d promised Joel something big would happen once he got better.

  “I promise, Joel. You’re going to love me for life,” Manny had proclaimed, his accent coming out as he uttered the words. Through the memory, Joel saw Manny’s hazel eyes and tan skin, and the way his lips curved into a mischievous grin when he played any sort of game. Manny had been crucial in Joel’s first days at their high school, and their friendship had only grown since. Of course, like any friendship, they’d suffered their round of hardships.

  But Manny… Dead?

  Impossible.

  Manny was young. He couldn’t die. Joel didn’t believe in invincibility, but a person like Manny Dominguez did not die, at twenty-years-old, in a town like Breezewater, Georgia. And since his friend was headed into Breezewater, it broke him even more. There was no doubt Manny, who lived in Savannah, was coming to visit Joel. This broke Joel down even more, and he started weeping into his arms, water collecting at the valleys between his knuckles.

  Sarah drove him across town to the local Catholic parish where Manny’s family members attended mass regularly even though most of them lived in Savannah. Cars streamed through the lot. If it was this crowded now, she knew it would be filled-to-the-brim in an hour or so.

  He weaved between countless individuals weeping and holding each other in the courtyard. The last place he wanted to be was a church, but instead of going inside, he rocked back and forth, surprised at how many people had shown up within an hour’s time. Manny had been popular. A group of their mutual friends congealed at the edge of the main family, but Joel spotted Manny’s sister Graciela and rushed to her, pulling the woman into a broad hug.

  She wept into his arms. “Joel, Joel,” she whispered. “Joel.”

  “I’m so sorry,” he breathed, the tears mixing with her hair that had swept into his face. For once, he wasn’t worried about what other people thought of him. He was broken, and this congregation outside proved that Manny had—de facto—died.

  “Why is this happening?” Joel asked, though he felt suffocated.

  Graciela pulled back so he could see the fullness of her eyes. “I don’t know. A drunk driver hit him. That’s all we know.”

  “Isn’t it too early for that?”

  “Yes. Dad went to the crime scene, but Mom and I refused. We can’t handle it. My uncle Rony went with Dad. I don’t think it’s set in. This can’t be real, can it?”

  “No, it can’t.”

  Joel gave his condolences to Manny’s mother and aunts, one of whom owned Zach Towson’s favorite Mexican restaurant in Breezewater, before heading to his group of friends, who huddled together. Alex McFarland was there, but his downcast eyes were focused on something else. Something else, Joel knew, because he looked like he’d seen a ghost. Alex had never been that close to Manny, but he’d come and shown his support. That was something in itself.

  “Joel,” said a few of his friends, who pulled him in for a hug. “There’s nothing that can dull the pain, but we’re sorry.”

  “Thanks,” he mumbled in response.

  The group prayed for a few minutes, led by the priest, who—sensing his flock was too weary to head inside the sanctuary—remained outside. The sky had turned bright again, the thunderstorm diminishing within the confines of wide, open sky. Around six o’clock, with the sun showing no intent of fully lowering, Juliet Sealet appeared, a crying mess, with young Chloe, who was also weeping. They pulled themselves into a familial hug, unable to cease the tears that openly flowed from their eyelids.

  A few steps away, a form watched them. He wanted to go over and touch them, and once again join the intimacy of their relationship, but he waited. His son was in pain, and he looked weak. Ethan Sealet threw the bottle in a nearby trash receptacle and left.

  SOME KIND SOUL brought a plethora of food choices, including casseroles of all flavors, fruits, and breads. The encampment moved to the parish gymnasium, where the somberness of the night began to really set in. Not many ventured to talk, and when they did, they began crying. Of course a few stragglers who “knew” Manny sat mixed in with his friends and family, but mostly everyone there was genuinely Manny’s comrade in life.

  Joel’s friends reminisced about Manny’s failed attempt at asking a girl out on their last day of high school. Thinking of high school drove Joel’s thoughts to Sarah, and he recognized her absence. When he tried to call her, she did not answer until twenty minutes later.

  “Joel, I parked your car in the lot, on the very edge of the sycamore trees. I’m sorry I had to leave.”

  “Where are you?” he asked, his voice sad. He had walked away from his friends and went outside to the freshness of the late summer night. It was past the middle of July. July 18th, the day Manny Dominguez died.

  Sarah was crying then. “Joel, I need time.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I left your keys at your Jeep, on the windshield. My parents came to pick me up.”

  “Not them again,” he said, his voice forced.

  “No, no, nothing like that. My grandpa’s in the hospital, that’s all.”

  “Do you want me to visit?”

  “No!” she exclaimed.

  Joel was taken aback by her tone. “Okay, okay.”

  “You need to be with them right now, okay? I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

  “Sure, sure.”

  “I’ll call you tonight, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  Juliet Sealet appeared from the shadows. She crossed her arms and watched her son, wondering what was flowing through his mind. He was still sick, his parents were going through a bitter divorce, and his best friend just died. What a wonderful summer. A calendar like this one would inspire anyone to move the heck out of dodge.

  “Mom?” he asked as he slipped his phone into his pocket.

  “Hey, Joel. How are you doing?”

  “Terrible.”

  “Do you want to go home? A lot of people are leaving.” Juliet placed an arm around his shoulder.

  “Yes, actually. That would be nice.”

  “Okay. Let’s go home.”

  “Mom…” Joel reached out, grabbing her shirt as she stepped away.

  “What, honey?”

  “Did you know?”

  “Know what?”

  “About Sofia Temprend?”

  Juliet gritted her teeth. Her eyes watered over and she balled her fists. “Yes. Yes, Joel, I knew.”

  “Why did he keep it a secret from us?”

  “At first, lying is always easier than the truth. Then, as time starts to erode your conscience, it’s the opposite.”

  “Will you forgive him?”

  “I have. I have. Just like someday, you’re going to forgive the person who killed your best friend. Your father is a good man, Joel. He’s going through some rough times, but I was hoping this divorce would knock some sense into his thick-headed skull.”

  “So you still love him?”

  “More than you know. I’m happier when I’m with him. He still causes my heart to skip a beat.” At this, Juliet sniffled and her body began to quiver. “But he’s hurt me, and when the person you love most hurts you, it’s like a giant ball of TNT explodes in your chest.”

  “Mom.”

  “Joel, I love your father, and I would be willing to work things out with him. We can accept Sofia into our life, because she’s his daughter. But he has to be willing to fix what happened, and at this point, he’s in a downward spiral.”

  Joel and his mother embraced, and even when they thought they had no tears left, there were always more.