by Alisha Paige
Something caught his eye. A thin, black ribbon lay curled where his pillow lay. Bill picked it up, turning it over and over in his hand. An ivory cameo lay cold in his palm. He recognized it instantly. Bill’s heart froze over as anger began to seethe within him. Cliff was sharing time with both of his daughters? How could he? Bill wasn’t surprised by Lily’s part in it, though it pained him to admit it. He wasn’t completely blind, not yet anyway. He watched the way Lily interacted with young men her age and her flirtations with Clifford had not gone unnoticed, but Bill was sure that Cliff had snubbed her more than once. This didn’t make sense to Bill. Cliff hardly seemed the type to cheat and he had honestly believed that he was totally in love with Louise. And now there was a baby on the way.
Bill dangled the cameo before him, twirling the tiny face, wishing she’d fade away. Now he wished Cliff would have cleared everything out just like he wanted to from the beginning. Thank God he’d decided to cart his things away instead of Louise. She was planning on coming today to help Bill, but Bill made her stay in bed. She’d vomited again this morning and the doctor said she would probably continue to do so for two more months at least. No, Cliff would not have done this to Louise. Something in Bill’s gut told him so and as much as he hated to admit it, he smelled a rat and though it was a sweet smelling rat, it was a rat indeed. A rat that he loved and was very disappointed in.
Bill stuffed the necklace in his pocket and headed toward home. Lily had come home late again last night, but she would be rising extra early today, no matter how much gin she was sleeping off. Bill raced up the front porch steps and into the house, marching straight to Lily’s room. He threw open the door without knocking and shut it behind him. Viola was busy preparing breakfast and wondered what all the door slamming was about. That wasn’t like Bill, to come inside and walk straight past her, but she dared not ask. Both of them had suffered long nights lately, waiting up for Lily. Neither one of them wanted to throw her out, but she was twenty and they could hardly force her to stay inside. Bill wanted her to go to college, but she had wanted to stay at home. She no longer had a choice.
Bill yanked the covers off of his eldest daughter. She barely moved, looking half dead, still full of gin. He was sickened at the sight of smeared lipstick on her sleeping face.
He had had it.
No daughter of his was going to behave in such a fashion, hanging out in bars all night long, using men to boost her already inflated ego, playing with their poor little minds. If anyone knew Lily, it was Bill. Being a reporter had taught him to pay attention to everything and he had been watching all along, hoping she’d eventually grow up, but she hadn’t and it was nearly too late.
Bill kicked the side of the bed, shaking it violently. “Get up, Lily!”Lily didn’t move. He kicked the bed again. “I said, get up!”
Lily cracked one eye open and peered out at him like a drunken fool. It nearly ripped his heart out. Bill hated himself for allowing it to go on so long. He had put the newspaper before his very own daughter, thinking the problem would fix itself, but it hadn’t and now Lily was in serious danger.
“Get up, Lily! Now!”
Viola paced the kitchen, wringing her hands, wondering what she’d done now. This girl was going to embarrass them sooner and later and it seemed as if she’d finally succeeded. Viola hoped the damage wasn’t too terrible and was grateful that Bill had finally intervened. She had no idea what to do with the girl. Lily had always been a very stubborn and sullen child, but she had become a fabulous seamstress and that alone had formed a bond between Lily and her mother. When Louise would rather play outside or read under a tree, Lily always seemed to be the mature one, helping her mother with women’s work, but those days were long gone now. She had helped with Louise’s Valentine dress, but that had been their last task together. It seemed as if her life had spiraled out of control over the past three months, ever since Louise had married Cliff. Viola wondered if she was simply jealous of her sister.
Lily sat up in bed, staring at her father with an angry scowl. “What is it, Pa? Why are you yelling and kicking my bed?”
Bill tossed the cameo necklace he had bought for her last Christmas onto the bed. “Lose something?” he asked, anger boiling within him.
Lily looked stunned as she picked up the necklace, holding it close to her chest as if she had no idea where it’d been.
“I’ve been looking for this. Where did you find it?” Lily asked innocently, batting her eyes at her father.
“You know damn well where I found it. Why was it there?”
Lily stared back at her father incredulously. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Pa.”
“Yes, you do. Are you having an affair with Cliff? And don’t lie to me, Lily. I can have Cliff on the phone in a matter of minutes and you will be the one to pay for the call. I’ll work your tail off while your mother takes a much needed vacation from spoiling you.”
Bill was careful to keep his voice down. He didn’t want Louise to hear and he still wasn’t certain, but he had a hunch that Lily was only trying to sabotage her sister’s marriage.
Lily stood up, meeting her father’s gaze. She was only two inches shorter than him. She reeked of alcohol and Bill covered his mouth. “You smell like a brewery, Lily! As long as you live under this roof, you will no longer drink!”
Lily looked as if she’d been slapped. “What? You drink,” she retorted quickly.
“I occasionally have a drink after working long hours, Lily, not several. Furthermore, must I stress that I do indeed work and you do not?” Bill whispered through clenched teeth.
How dare she try to compare her deviant behavior to his! He was a grown man and she was still an insolent child.
“How did that necklace get in Cliff’s bed?”
Lily shrugged her shoulders. “I must have loaned it to Louise,” Lily lied.
Bill laughed sarcastically. “Don’t be ridiculous, darling. You and I both know that you share nothing with your sister. You’re simply too selfish and always have been since the day she was born. Now tell me you aren’t sharing the same man.”
Lily stared at him wide eyed; smelling of gin, lipstick still smeared across her face, giving Bill an indication of the wild evening she must have enjoyed at the expense of her reputation and unfortunately, his as well.
“Very well, I’ll get Cliff on the phone. Looks like both of you have a lot of explaining to do,” Bill replied calmly as he turned to go.
“Wait,” Lily said, sighing and slumping down on the bed, her head in her hands.
Bill turned and couldn’t help but see his little girl in trouble. He went to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Lily, please, you have to tell me. Your sister doesn’t deserve this. I’ll have to tell her, you do realize that don’t you?”
Lily shook her head no, but said nothing. “Wouldn’t you want to know?”
“That’s not what I meant,” Lily said into the floor.
“What did you mean?”
“I put the necklace there.”
“When?”
“After Cliff left.”
“You and Cliff are not having an affair?” Bill wanted to make sure he understood her clearly and his instincts were right on. She had planted it there, but he could only guess why.
Lily shook her head no.
“Why would you do something like this?”
“I don’t know,” Lily admitted.
“Yes you do.”
“I guess I was jealous. Cliff is a great guy and it’s not fair. I’ll never find someone like him. Why doesn’t he find me beautiful?” Lily whined, sounding more childish than ever.
“Cliff is Louise’s husband. They’ve been in love since they were kids. Besides, you know you’re beautiful. You’re too pretty for your own good.”
Lily sniffed as the tears began to fall. “I don’t feel pretty.”
“Well, I expect not. You aren’t living a very pretty life these days. I want this to stop. I
want you to go to college.”
Lily raised her head, looking at him in disbelief.
“Hold your tongue, Lily. You no longer have a choice. I want the drinking to stop, too. My daughter will no longer hang out in bars. I will not watch you pollute your body with gin and involve yourself with some of the riff raff I’ve seen you with.”
“But, Pa...”
Bill held up his hand. “I don’t want to hear it, Lily or I promise you, you will be out on the street and don’t think I won’t do it. Don’t test me, Miss Lily. By the way, what’s wrong with Tad? He’s a fine boy, with a promising future as a banker.”
“I guess so,” Lily replied softly.
“You better straighten up young lady and take your eyes off of your sister’s husband, do you understand?” Bill asked sternly, looking her straight in the eye.
Lily nodded.
“Don’t let me catch you batting one eye at him. Is that clear?”
“Yes, Pa.”
“You need to concentrate on your future. I want you to stay away from men and gin for a while. You are a beautiful, intelligent young lady and I won’t have you disrespecting yourself or your family.”
“Yes, Pa.”
“This will be your only warning, Lily. I promise, if you falter, even a tiny bit, I’ll shut you out.”
Lily doubted her father would send her to the streets, but she’d never seen him more serious in her life. She decided not to test him. At the very least, she’d be forced to get a job and a place of her own and she didn’t want that either.
“Let’s keep this to ourselves, okay?”
“Okay,” Lily agreed, thankful her father would spare her the embarrassment. If her mother found out what she’d done, she would simply die.
“Now go wash your face and get dressed. I want you to help your mother with breakfast and then I want to drive you to the University and see about getting you enrolled in some classes.”
Lily sighed. It was senseless to argue and in a way, she was relieved that her father had decided to take control of her life. She had lost control long ago and actually felt bad about what she’d done. She was thankful that Louise hadn’t been the one to find the necklace. Bill kissed her on the cheek while holding his breath.
“Now hurry up,” he said as he rose to leave.
“Pa?”
“Yes?” Bill asked as he turned around to face her, suddenly exhausted from the traumatic morning.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, darling. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
~ * ~
November 12, 1938
My Dearest Louise-
How are you, my beautiful bride? I hope you are not too terribly uncomfortable these days, sweetheart, but from your last letter, I gather you are completely miserable and ready to have our little baby. Just hold on for three more weeks and I’ll be on my way home. Don’t you have that baby without me by your side!. Wouldn’t that be something if our little one was born on Christmas or even Christmas Eve? Didn’t the doc say the due date is December 20? Do you think it’s a girl or a boy? I don’t have a strong feeling either way.
I know I agreed to let you name the baby whatever you wanted, but I heard the most beautiful name yesterday. I was in Germany and I interviewed a German Jewish woman and her two teenage daughters. One of the daughters spoke perfect English and I just fell in love with her name. Would you mind terribly if we name our baby girl the name I heard? Only if you like it darling and of course, only if we have a girl. Her name is Annalisa. Isn’t it a lyrical name and very unusual, though she said it is a common name for a girl in Germany. Maybe you can think about it and I know you wrote me saying that you hadn’t yet picked out a name for a girl. Are you sure you want to name a boy after me? Of course, I can’t object. Any father would love the honor.
I have seen some horrible things in Germany. The Nazi Regime has grown dramatically stronger and I witnessed something four nights ago that I will never forget. The townspeople around here are referring to it as Kristallnacht, which in German means, “Night of the Broken Glass”. Rumor has it that Hitler has incited the Germans to rise in vengeance against the Jews in retaliation against a 17 year old Jewish boy from Poland who shot and killed a member of the German embassy staff. The boy was exacting his revenge for the poor treatment his family received by the Nazis, along with thousands of other Polish Jews who were expelled from Germany. Hitler and his Nazi soldiers had the Jews transported by boxcar to the Polish border and then dumped.
In retaliation for the shooting, Nazi soldiers went from town to town, breaking windows and burning any and all Jewish synagogues and work places. The streets were littered with broken window panes and fires raged throughout the night. Firemen were instructed by the Nazis to put out any fire that accidentally caught onto other German homes or churches, but allowed the Jewish establishments to burn to the ground. The streets were filled with angry Jews and many were arrested by the Nazis. Terror fills the air here and people are afraid to venture outdoors. Rumors are circulating among Germans as well as Jews about prisoner camps set up by Hitler himself. Many wonder if the arrested Jews were taken there. Everyone fears Hitler and no one seems to want to even talk about him. Paranoia pervades the town and people walk about like zombies, afraid to comment on the strange events. It’s very odd to watch an entire society, including the young and the old, pretend to go about their daily lives as if everything is normal. But it is far from normal, I’m afraid and I feel a horrible dread around me. It is nearly suffocating and I too want to escape from here.
I am thankful that I am an American and I remind myself that in another month, I will be back home, on my own familiar homeland, with my beautiful wife and a new child to love. I can hardly wait and I dream about you nightly. I even dreamed about our baby and do you know what I dreamed? I dreamed that it is a girl and she is as pretty as you.
I will be traveling by train for the next two days, back to Vienna. I feel like it will be safer and I have grown accustomed to the city and its surroundings. You can write me at the same address, but don’t write more than one letter, because the others may not have time to arrive. On second thought, write as many as you wish, but save them at home for me.
I love and miss you, my sweetheart,
Cliff
~ * ~
November 25, 1938
My Dearest Cliff,
Your last letter worried me very much. I am anxious for you to return home. It sounds far too dangerous for you and I worry for your safety.
The radio here is filled with horrendous deeds that Hitler is taking out on the Jewish people, just like he promised he would do. I certainly wish people in Germany would have taken him seriously when he spoke of such things. It sounds like absolute madness and I can’t even imagine living there or worse, being a Jew in Germany. There is even talk of Britain going to war against Germany. Many fear that Hitler is planning an attack and we too have heard rumors about prison camps where prisoners are forced to work endless hours without proper food and water.
I grew angry at Pa yesterday. He will be sending that nice, new boy, Ralph Fines, in your place. For goodness sakes, he is only nineteen years old and there is crazy talk of war breaking out over there, but that wasn’t what made me so horribly angry. He told me that if we were not having a child, that you would have to stay over there, because you are still his best reporter and things are starting to heat up over there. I was so upset, I stayed in my room all evening and Mama brought dinner to my room. How could he suggest something so insane? He even said that you may have to return to relieve Ralph in six months and he said that he’s already told you. Is that true? I hope not, but I know Pa doesn’t lie. Why didn’t you tell me? I know. You didn’t want to worry me in my state, but I tell you, I am worried enough already.
Please hurry home, darling. I need you ever so much and I miss you horribly. I can’t imagine another month without you. It would be simply dreadful. I feel lik
e the baby could come at any day and I still have four weeks left. I even had some sharp pains last week, but they went away and the doctor said that they were false contractions. He said my body is just preparing itself to have the baby.
I guess you have seen by now the little surprise I enclosed with this letter. The wooden nickel brought us together once, so I’m hoping it will bring us together again. Keep it with you always. I kissed it for good luck.
I love you,
Louise
Seven
December 11, 1941
Dear Diary,
Today is a terrible day for our country. The most horrible, unthinkable event has shaken all of us and we have been plunged into war because of it. Pearl Harbor was bombed four days ago and thousands of American lives were lost. Today we declared war on Japan. President Roosevelt has wanted us to get involved in this war and finally, I guess he got his wish, now that Americans are dead. I think every country is involved now and most of them have been fighting for two long years.
My life is full of sadness these days, but my little Annalisa, who will be three on Christmas Eve has given me a reason to live. Life without Cliff is unbearable at times. I really believe that a hole has formed in my heart, it aches so badly. No one has heard a word from him and my letters continue to go unanswered. Pa has been working with the embassy for nearly three years now and it seems as if he disappeared. I heard my folks whispering in the kitchen one morning and my mother was crying. Pa thinks he is dead, but I don’t. I’ll never believe it. I can’t tell you why, either. It’s just a feeling I have and I tell Annalisa that her daddy will come home soon, but I think it worries Mama when I talk like that.
