by Stella James
“Your timing sucks, you know that right? It’s been almost three months, I have a life now. I have people now. I can’t just up and leave.”
“Look, I get it. But this is our shot and we can’t do it without you,” he says. “We’ve worked too damn hard and for too damn long to let these bastards go on some technicality.” He runs a hand through his thick salt and pepper hair and exhales a harsh breath.
“I said I’d help and I will, but there’s someone in my life now. Someone that I need to talk to first so that we can figure out the details together,” I tell him. “I can’t make a decision without including him. It wouldn’t feel right.”
“I can accept that. But we’ve gotta move fast on this before we’re buried up to our eyeballs in fancy paperwork that delays the entire process. Which is exactly what those bastard lawyers are planning on. I’ve got a room at The Riverbend Bed & Breakfast, you can find me there,” he says. “But Grey, I need to hear from you by tomorrow morning. Or I’ll track you down.”
“Understood,” I say. “Thanks.”
He pushes off my car and heads towards a black SUV.
I get in my car and head to day camp to grab Jamie. Eric has been back to working normal hours but I’ve still been doing the pick up after my shift since I’m closer. I don’t mind at all and to be honest, I enjoy the alone time with Jamie.
I know I’m not her mother but I’ve grown to love her and if Eric asked me to be a part of their small family, I would be honoured. I’ve felt a shift in our relationship lately and I know that on my end, it’s because I’ve fallen hopelessly in love with him. But I’m unsure of how deep his feelings run and I hate to admit it but the uncertainty has me keeping my revelation of love to myself. For now. Maybe it would be best until my past is firmly laid to rest, knowing that I’m going to have to bring everything up again once we get home puts a bitter taste on the tip of my tongue. I’m not used to leaning on anyone and now that I’ve allowed myself to lean on Eric, I’m scared that he’ll realize this is all just too much trouble. That I’m too much trouble.
When I pull up to the community centre, Jamie spots me and races to the car, climbing into the backseat. She tells me all about her day and the crafts they made and who won the soccer game they played earlier. I listen intently as I drive and when I take the last turn into the long driveway I see Eric’s truck sitting in front of the house. My nerves begin to unravel but I quickly remind myself that things with him are solid. We’re in a good place and he vowed to stand by me and that we would sort through this whole thing together once the time came. The time is now, and I trust in us that we are strong enough to deal with this together and then move on. The thought of a future with Eric and Jamie brings tears to my eyes just as much as the thought of a future without them.
Jamie still chats away as I put the car in park and we head up the front steps. She opens the door and heads straight for the kitchen with me following close behind.
“Hi Daddy,” she says, wrapping her arms around Eric’s waist.
I smile at him as his eyes meet mine and I know instantly that something is wrong. A gut instinct that proves to be true when he asks Jamie to go to her room for a minute so that we can talk. She protests briefly before trekking down the hallway. Once her door closes, I look to Eric for an explanation. His eyes look weary, his jaw tight and if I didn’t know any better I’d say that he’s angry.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, setting my phone on the table and tossing my keys into my bag.
He glances down at the open laptop sitting on the kitchen table and turns it towards me. Bile rises in my throat as I see a familiar image fill the screen. A topless photo of me. A promotional ad that I did for Eddie several years ago to earn some extra money.
“What the fuck is this?” He asks, disgust evident in his tone.
“It’s an old promotional ad,” I sigh. “I actually forgot all about it, I did it a few years ago for the extra cash.”
He slams the laptop shut and shakes his head, turning towards the patio doors. The disdain in his posture is like a knife in my heart.
“This is the exact kind of shit that I don’t need,” he says. “Do you understand how this effects Jamie?” He turns and faces me, the warmth that his blue eyes once held for me replaced with something so cold I can feel it down to my bones.
“I understand that, but you knew what I did. Who I was,” I reply. “I’ve never once hidden that part of my past from you and the minute your lips were on mine, you accepted that.” I can feel my temper beginning to flare.
“Dammit Grey, taking your clothes off once upon a time is one thing, but this,” he gestures to the closed screen. “This is a permanent fucking reminder that countless men have seen what I’ve seen. Do you know how I found this? The guys at work had it open in the office, they sat there crowded around a fucking table gawking at you,” he sneers.
“And I’m sorry for that, but what do you want me to do? The only person who sees me like that now is you. The only person who touches me, is you. The only person I want to see me, is you,” I say quietly.
“We need to take a step back and think about this,” he says. “I need to think about this.”
“So that’s it? One reminder of who I used to be and you’re running scared? God, what is the matter with you?”
“This isn’t about me,” he grits through his teeth.
“Of course it is,” I say. “It’s about you and these expectations of yours. Yes, I used to take my clothes off for money. I did it to keep my mother comfortable while she wasted away to nothing, and I succeeded. She didn’t feel a damn thing when her body began to shut down,” I choke, my eyes brimming with tears. “I’m sorry if your buddies at work found a five year old picture of me with my top off, how fucking hard that must be for you. Poor Eric and his trashy girlfriend.”
“Grey,” he exhales. “That’s not what I sa-“
“You didn’t have to say it. It’s written all over your face,” I say sadly. “I’ll never be good enough,” I say, picking my bag up off the table. I turn, stopping in the doorway and looking back one last time.
“Your marriage must have been pretty damn perfect,” I say. “She must have been pretty damn perfect. I’m sorry I let you down.”
I head for the door, hating myself for wishing he would stop me. Which he doesn’t.
*
I wipe my eyes and blow my nose, trying my best to look presentable. I’ve been sitting in my parked car for over thirty minutes. I reach for the compact mirror and powder from my bag, using the fading light of the setting sun as I try in vain to hide the blotchy red spots that cover my face. When I left Eric’s I didn’t know what to do, so I just drove. I eventually pulled over into a rest stop along the highway and formed some semblance of a plan. I’m now parked just down the street from The Riverbend Bed & Breakfast. I might as well deal with this train wreck first.
I give up on my mission to look at least halfway human and toss the compact back into my bag. I pull the keys from the ignition and toss them in there too before opening the door and exiting my car, realizing just now how quiet the street is around me. I step up onto the curb of the sidewalk and rummage around for my phone when I suddenly feel the presence of someone behind me. I take a step to the side so I’m not in the way and that’s when I feel the blunt end of a hard object press into my lower back.
“Keep your fucking mouth shut and cross the street,” he says. “Walk to the black sedan and get in the backseat. If you try anything stupid, I’ll fucking shoot you and then I’ll shoot the cop.”
Somehow I remain calm enough to do as he says, stopping beside the car and waiting for him to direct me further. It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask him how he found me when a burst of pain hits the back of my head and everything goes black.
Chapter 14
Eric
After a restless night of tossing and turning, I give up on sleep and throw on a T-shirt and some gym shorts. My sheets smell like her. Everyt
hing in this room reminds me of Grey and how much she means to me. It’s nearly five a.m. when I glance at the clock before quietly heading down to the basement. I know she’s not here because I’ve spent the entire night listening for the crunching of tires on gravel only to be met with silence. I tried her cell a couple times before realizing she had forgotten it on the kitchen table.
I don’t even know where to start but I plan on begging from my knees if that’s what it takes. I hate myself for the way I reacted over that damn photo and for hurt that flashed in her beautiful eyes because of it. She’s right when she told me that I had accepted who she was, and I thought I had. But jealousy overcame me and worst of all I used my own kid against her. I know she loves Jamie and would never do anything to hurt her. And the thing is, I don’t give a fuck who knows what Grey used to do for a living. I love her, and I should have fucking told her.
By the time I’m done punching out my frustration I can hear Jamie upstairs digging through the cupboards. I’ve gotta track down Grey and bring her back home. I need to convince her that I can be who she deserves and that it isn’t her who disappointed me. I disappointed her. I need to fix this.
“Hi Daddy,” she says, pouring herself a bowl of cereal. “The phone on the table keeps buzzing.”
“Morning kiddo,” I say, picking the phone up from the table and checking the screen.
DM: I’m leaving by eight. I need to hear from you before then.
I swipe through to the contacts and see a handful of names I recognize until I get to DM. There’s no other information under the initials. It’s nearly eight now and just as I’m about to call the number listed there’s a knock at the front door.
“Stay here,” I tell Jamie.
I open the front door and find a man with greying hair looking closely into the nearest window. He’s dressed casually but there’s no mistaking the badge clipped to his belt.
“Good morning,” he says. “Sorry to disturb you but I’m looking for Grey.”
“And you are?”
“Detective Miles Monroe,” he says. “I assume you’re the person she needed to speak with?”
“Eric Doyle, have you seen Grey this morning?”
“Nope, that’s why I’m here,” he says, gesturing to the phone I’m still holding onto. “She was supposed to contact me after speaking to you but she never did. Told her I’d be coming by if that were the case.”
“Look, I haven’t seen Grey since yesterday afternoon. We, got into an argument and she left.”
“Ah, about the trial?”
Shit. He’s here to take Grey back and I was too busy being a fucking asshole before she could tell me. I told her we’d do this together. I can’t believe how badly I managed to fuck this up.
“It doesn’t matter what it was about,” I say. “I’ll try the other numbers in her phone. Maybe she stayed with a friend.”
Four calls later and still no sign of Grey. I’d invited the detective in and he’s currently sitting at my kitchen table drinking coffee while Jamie asks him every question imaginable about being a cop.
“No one’s heard from her. I don’t know where else she would be,” I say, pouring my own cup.
“If you argued she’s probably just cooling off. But I need to be on the road today and I need her with me,” he says. “I’m gonna head back into town and see if I can track her down. Maybe swing by the B&B and see if she made her way over there. I’ll have her call you.”
“Appreciate it.”
I see the detective out and head upstairs to grab a shower, I’ve called my mom and asked her to take Jamie today so I can sort this mess out with Grey and try to salvage what I so carelessly fucked up.
I drop Jamie off and when I’m just about back into town, my cell rings. I recognize the number from Grey’s phone this morning.
“Yeah?”
“We’ve got a problem.”
*
I pull up to the Sheriff’s office and nearly rip the door from the hinges. As soon as I hung up with Detective Monroe, my foot hit the gas pedal like a cement block. He found Grey’s car parked near the B&B he was staying at but with no sign of Grey. He talked to a couple neighbours and luckily Mrs. Henderson was doing her hourly window watch and she told him she saw a man approach a blonde woman from behind and then lead her to a black car. I don’t know who the fuck has Grey, but when I find him I’m going to rip him apart with my bare hands. I ignore Patty, the deputy running the front desk and head straight towards Trace who is hanging up the phone as I approach.
“Any sign of her yet?”
“Hey man, we’re doing everything we can. Detective Monroe is on the phone now with his precinct,” he says, glancing down at the notepad in front of him. “Did Grey ever mention an Eddie Montego?”
“He ran the club she used to work at,” I reply, my stomach twisting into knots. I need to be out there, looking for her. “Did he take her? Did he fucking take her?”
“Calm down Eric, you’re no good to Grey if you can’t think straight,” he says. “As it stands, we think he coerced her into his car. Monroe is trying to work out what his game plan is but right now we’ve got nothing.”
“Fuck. This is all my fucking fault. That bastard has her and I’m going to kill him if he so much as touches a hair on her head,” I growl.
“Hey, now’s not the time man,” he warns. “I get it. If that were Sophie I’d be seeing red right now. But if you want in on this, you need to keep it together or the Sheriff is gonna send you packing.”
Detective Monroe walks back into the squad room with Sheriff Connors at his heels. The room quiets as the Sheriff backs off and gives Monroe the floor.
“We’re dealing with an ongoing investigation outside this jurisdiction folks,” he says. “I can’t say much but what I can tell you is this, two days ago a man by the name of Eddie Montego made bail after being charged as an accomplice to drug trafficking. There are bigger players in this game but Eddie is the lapdog. My Sergeant believes that he came here to this nice town of yours with the intent to take one Grey Donovan back with him to those in charge of his fate as a gesture of goodwill.”
My urge to turn the entire town upside down until I find Grey and the piece of shit that took her is so potent that I can hardly see clearly.
“How did Montego know where to find Grey?” Trace asks.
“A leak in the department,” Monroe says, shaking his head with disgust. “Some asshole who figured he’d make a few bucks on the side. Internal affairs questioned him this morning after some evidence tampering took place on his watch. He confessed that he was the one who relayed my agenda to Montego.”
The Sheriff takes over and states that highway road blocks have already been put in place and that no one will be leaving the town limits without being stopped and questioned.
“The Blue Falls Sheriff’s office will do everything we can to help aide Detective Monroe until we find Ms. Donovan and the man who has taken her,” Sheriff Connors says. “Meyers, Scott and Heinz, assemble your teams and choose your quadrant. I want every inch of this town searched and all back roads checked thoroughly. Let’s move people.”
The room erupts and before Trace can utter a word about staying put and keeping me updated, I stand in his path and speak first.
“You’re not leaving without me, there’s no Goddamn way that I’m not in on this,” I say. “Grey is mine and I’m not sitting here twiddling my fucking thumbs when I could be helping.”
“Look, I can’t take you in my cruiser. You wanna follow me in your truck, I can’t stop you,” he says. “But be smart, or it’s both our asses.”
“I have to bring her home,” I say.
“We’ll find her.”
Chapter 15
Grey
When I come to, the throbbing in the back of my head makes me groan as nausea washes over me and I sit up slowly. What the hell. My hands are bound tightly together with a plastic zip tie.
“You shouldn’t be awake so soon
,” Eddie says from the driver’s seat, panic seeping into his voice. “I hit you plenty hard enough.”
“What the hell are you doing Eddie? How…” The pain radiating through my skull stops my inquiry mid-sentence. I look out the window and recognize the highway as it passes by. Where the hell is he taking me? I close my eyes and try to focus hard enough to pry them open and keep them that way. I need to figure out how to get out of this.
“I’m sorry, but it’s you or me,” he says.
“Ho-how did you find me?”
“How do you think?” He snorts. “These are powerful men doll, they have guys on the inside who report back. One such report was that of a certain detective leaving the city to fetch an important witness. It wasn’t fucking rocket science, but I gotta say, I wasn’t expecting it to be you.”
He followed detective Monroe.
“Yeah well, I’m just full of surprises. So what’s your plan? Take me back to them, and buy yourself some time? They’ll kill you too you know.”
“No,” he says adamantly. “The deal is me or the witness. I ain’t going down for this shit, wasn’t my fuck up.”
I look up to the rear view mirror and watch Eddie’s reflection as a bead of sweat rolls from his hairline all the way down the side of his pockmarked face. His usually slicked back hair is a greasy mess and I can tell from back here that his clothing is rumpled. I need to keep him talking or at least thinking until I can figure out how to get myself out of this damn car.
“I was keeping tabs on you for over a month Eddie,” I confess. “I gave everything to the cops, right under your nose the whole time. So actually, I’d say this is most definitely your fuck up.”
