by Emma Renshaw
“I can call the cops on you and tell them you’re trespassing.”
Adeline gasped. “Earl, please, we talked about this. I told you she was coming. Please allow her to help, I can’t do everything by myself. You’ve fired everyone else. No one wants to work here!”
Earl didn’t respond to her and neither did I; we continued our stare-off. I crossed my arms over my chest and tilted my head like I was thinking. “You could call the cops, but I know some of the guys on the force. I went to school with half of them. I have a feeling one of them is in love with my best friend, and I know he wouldn’t want to piss her off by having me arrested.”
“What good can you do for me?” He matched my position by crossing his arms over his chest, his frown turning into a full-on grimace. His glare was trying to cut me down, so I smiled at him, which made him angrier.
“I can find a nurse who is the right fit for you,” I said, ticking each item off on my fingers.
“I thought you were a nurse,” he said.
“I am, but I’m not hired by the company that administers your care.”
“See?” He flung out an arm, gesturing toward me, as he looked at Adeline. “I told you she was no good. Get her out of here.”
“Earl,” Adeline pleaded, taking a step forward.
I continued ticking things off on my fingers as if he hadn’t spoken. “I can help with baths, changing, exercising, stretching, vitals. If you happen to kick the bucket while I’m here, I can handle that too.”
He huffed. “No respect. None of you young people have any respect. It was never like that in my day.”
“I was taught by my residents that in your day respect was always earned and never given.”
He pursed his lips, deepening the wrinkles on his face. “That’s true,” he muttered.
“I can do all the things I listed, and I also know how to disable the switch that keeps your wheelchair at a slow pace. I can make it faster.”
His brow arched. “Can you really?”
I nodded. “My aunt had a similar model, same manufacturer. Someone taught me how to disable it, and she was able to cruise after that.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Adeline whispered.
“Do it and you can stay,” Earl told me.
“I’ll do it, but I would’ve stayed anyway.”
And, just like the sun breaking through the clouds on a stormy day, the first ray of light came over Earl’s face. It wasn’t a full grin, but a half smile was a start. Adeline looked from Earl to me and shook her head in disbelief.
I turned on my music and placed my earbuds in my ears before starting a slow, easy jog at the beginning of the trail. So far it was only me, some hawks and other birds flying overhead, and towering pine trees lining the dirt path.
I increased the volume on my music, trying to drown out the thoughts racing through my mind. My life was one big question mark at the moment. Going back to Denver felt impossible. I’d enjoyed living there with Georgia, but I couldn’t do it without her. I didn’t want to wake up in her house every day unable to escape those ghosts. Without her there, I would be completely alone.
I knew that was all my own doing; I’d shut people out for the past eleven years. I had friends, but none were close friends. I could leave Denver behind and never go back. But that left the rest of the world up for grabs.
I had nothing.
I had no one.
While I had savings, I didn’t have an infinite amount of money unless I touched the funds my parents had given me, which I refused to do. I couldn’t travel all over the world until I found a place where I had peace.
Being here in Hawk Valley was hard. I’d been ignoring the guilt, but I knew if I stayed too long, it would eat me up and spit me back out. It’d tear me apart and consume me until I couldn’t breathe.
My eyes welled with tears, and my throat closed as I swallowed past the lump of anger and sadness. I closed my eyes for the briefest moment as I ran, increasing my speed, trying to release the tension that had coiled in my stomach. I didn’t deserve to call this place home. I didn’t deserve to be here. My stupid, careless action had taken lives, destroyed families, and left an irreparable mark on this town.
Logically, there was no way to be sure if the bonfire would’ve collapsed if I hadn’t thrown in the framed portrait, but I knew my portrait had started the collapse. I started sprinting, panting in ragged breaths. My earbuds slipped from my ears and the wires bounced against my legs as I ran faster, but I couldn’t outrun the memory of that night. I never could. It was always right there, waiting to remind me.
I heard the phantom snapping of the branch, in my mind, followed by the eerie silence, then the screams of my classmates. I shook my head, clearing those thoughts.
I couldn’t stay here. I had to leave.
But where did that leave me and what did I want?
“What am I supposed to do, Georgia?” I whispered.
I stopped running, bringing my hands to my knees and breathing hard. My legs felt like jelly, like they would give out under me at a moment’s notice. I didn’t think I could move another step and needed to sit. I looked around and found a thick oak tree nestled against the pine trees. The grassy area surrounding the trunk was in the shade.
I strolled through the grass and collapsed on the ground on the other side of the tree, so if anyone passed by on the trail. they wouldn’t see me or the wreck I was. I leaned back against the trunk, placing my hand over my heart, and felt it slow down as I took a few easy breaths.
I wiped away the tears that coated my cheeks and took in my surroundings. With my ear buds still dangling from my phone, I could hear a creek, in the distance, babbling over rocks and squirrels twittering through the trees. The ground was warm beneath my hands, and I let the solidness of the earth ground me as I looked through the gaps between the trees and stopped when I saw something.
I slowly stood, gripping the trunk of the towering oak as it still felt like my legs would give out. I wandered through the trees looking for the little sliver of something that I’d seen. I wasn’t sure why it had caught my attention or why I wanted to know what it was so badly, but I kept searching until I stumbled into a clearing—and all my breath came out in whoosh.
A dilapidated three-story home stood in front of me. The windows were boarded with sheets of plywood. Shutters hung by a thread, or not at all, next to the windows. If I stepped on the porch, I was pretty sure I would fall straight through it. It was run down and unsightly, and I could only imagine what type of critters were living in the abandoned house.
But, even with all that, it was perfect.
A fresh wave of tears coated my eyes and I nodded. My aunt had come to my rescue yet again, and I saw what my future should be. I saw past the flaws and straight to the beauty underneath. I knew what I needed to search for and how to find my new home. I knew what a home like this should be turned into and what it needed to be. “Okay, Aunt Georgia. Okay.”
17
Zoe
Ridge cracked up laughing when I opened the door to my cabin with one fist on my hip. I had on old, tattered jeans I’d borrowed from Makenna. Paint splotches and grass and dirt stains decorated the light fabric. Around my waist was a flannel shirt I’d found at the secondhand shop in town, and a white tank top completed my demolition-day look.
He grabbed me by the waist, fisting one hand around my ponytail and kissing me while still laughing. I smiled against his lips, winding my arms around his neck. His scent washed over me and I deepened the kiss, shivering as he groaned.
I pulled away. “I still need to put on my shoes.”
I sat on the edge of the bed, bending over to lace up the work boots I’d found at a local shop. Ridge chuckled. I flipped my hair over my shoulder, looking up at him with a smile as I continued to lace up the shoes. “Did you have all this packed when you came? Knowing you would be doing some work?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I borrowed the jeans from Ma
k and bought the rest in town. This isn’t all I bought.”
Ridge stared at me. “You bought a sledgehammer and a hard hat, didn’t you?”
I scoffed and walked to the other side of the room, bending down to grab what I wanted. “If you think that’s all I bought, you’ve got a lot to learn.”
“Christ,” he muttered. I glanced at him and my smile grew as I watched him try to smother his grin. I turned my back to him and brought my new tool belt to my hips, buckling it, grabbed my new sledgehammer, and placed my new clover-green hard hat on top of my head before turning around.
“What do you think?” I asked.
He shook his head, scanning me head to toe as I approached. His hand went into the back pocket of my jeans, cupping my ass, and he brought me against his body. “I think I could have some fun with you in this outfit.”
“That does sound like fun,” I murmured against his lips, brushing mine across his before I pushed him back a step with my hands on his chest. “But I was promised demolition.”
Ridge grabbed the sledgehammer from my hands, turning to open the door, and ushered me out. “Let’s go.”
He followed me to the passenger-side door and turned me, pressing my back to his truck, and gazed into my eyes as he undid the buckle of the tool belt. He opened the door and tossed it into the back seat before helping me up. After I buckled my seatbelt, I placed my hardhat in the back with my toolbelt. Ridge put the sledgehammer back there before getting into the driver’s seat.
As we exited the inn’s property, I asked him, “Where is your house?”
“On the outskirts of town, kind of in the direction of Gunner and Delilah’s place. It’s by the lake. The property has lakefront, but you can’t see the lake from everywhere on the property. There is a view from the main house I’m renovating.”
“There are two houses?”
He nodded. “They’re not close to each other, but I chose the one I liked and am working on it.”
“Are you living there while fixing it up?”
“Not right now. The bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen aren’t done. When those are done then I can work on the rest of the house while living there.”
“Where do you live now?”
He chuckled and glanced at me while readjusting his hand on the steering wheel. His forearm distracted me from his gaze and I bit my lip. “Trying to get me to invite you over, Zoe?”
I shrugged. “I’m curious.”
“When we’re done for the day, I’ll cook you dinner at my place, and we can spend the night there.”
I wanted to protest that this was a fling and staying over for the night should only be a one-time thing. I should leave if I came over, and he should leave if he came over. Staying, sleeping in the same bed, and waking up next to him would complicate things. I already liked spending time with him too much. I should protest, I should set those boundaries, but for once, I wasn’t going to. I was sticking to the no-rules plan and rolling with it.
“Sounds good to me,” I said as he pulled onto a gravel drive. Oak trees lined the path we bumped along on, and tall grass blew in the breeze. Between the trees, I could spot little slivers of the lake glistening under the mid-morning sun. Ridge stopped the truck at an old ranch-style home. Soil patches lined the perimeter, just waiting for flowers to be planted. Tarps hung over the railing on the small extended porch.
I smiled. “I can see you here.” I turned to face Ridge. He was already looking at me with a small smile playing on his lips and an unreadable expression. “Do you like it?”
My breathing hitched. It was a simple question, but it felt weighted, like something depended on my answer. Like my answer truly mattered to him. He didn’t blink while he waited for my response, only stared at me with his wrist still resting on top of the steering wheel.
“It’s going to be gorgeous. I wish I could see it in person when it’s done. Will you send me a picture?”
“You could always come back and visit,” he said, his grip tightening around the wheel.
“I don’t know where I’ll be going after here, but I do know I won’t be coming back.”
“What about Makenna?”
“I will buy her a plane ticket any time she wants to come visit me.”
He released a long breath through his nose, before slowly nodding once, and exited the car without responding. He grabbed my things from the seat and slammed the truck door closed, walking around to help me down. I popped open the door, hopping down before he reached my side. “Come on, I’ll give you a tour,” he said.
Ridge unlocked the front door and set my things down in the entryway, against the wall. I followed him in, gazing around the space. The sun didn’t provide too much light through the windows. “I’m adding more windows to bring in more light. That’s where the picture window will go.”
He pointed at the far wall. He strode toward it, and he leaned against one of the windows. “This is the room with the best view, so I don’t know why they put only two damn windows in here.”
There was a clearing with only a few trees but a perfect view of the lake and the rocky bluffs. A lone fishing boat was out on the water in the distance. “This part of the lake is pretty quiet.”
I followed Ridge around the house, listening to his plans for each room, becoming more and more jealous of what he was building here. I wished that he could be the man to bring my newly found vision to life. And, just like he’d read my mind, he asked one of his questions.
“Do you know where you’ll go when you leave?”
I shook my head. “No, but I know what I’m looking for now.”
“We’re going to knock out this wall,” Ridge said, tapping his knuckles against the wall in front of us. He handed me my sledgehammer and hard hat.
“You’re not wearing a hard hat?”
He laughed. “No.”
“Then why do I have to?”
“Your head is too cute to get knocked in.”
“So is yours.”
He smirked and shook his head. “Watch my hands on the sledgehammer.” He brought it up, positioning his hands, one near the top and the other a few inches from the bottom. “The bottom hand doesn’t move, but your top hand needs to slide down on the swing before you make contact.” He swung, sliding his hand down at the same time, and knocked a huge hole in the wall.
I grinned. “I’m ready.” I picked up the sledgehammer and mimicked his movements. I’d seen the movement countless times on TV, but I wasn’t expecting the shock that jolted up my arms when I made contact with the wall. A bead of sweat broke out along my forehead after only one swing.
I pulled the hammer from the hole in the wall and stepped back to survey my work. I smiled and laughed, looking over at Ridge. He leaned in, kissing me quickly. “You did good,” he said. “If your arms get tired, take a break.”
I nodded, getting ready for another swing.
“What are you looking for?”
I paused, still gripping the hammer. “What?”
“You said you know what you’re looking for now. What are you looking for?”
I set the hammer on the ground and tucked a piece of fallen hair behind my ear. “I saw this old house the other day. It was falling apart, probably should be condemned, maybe even haunted. Honestly, it was a little scary looking, but when I saw it, I knew what a place like that should be.”
“What?”
“So many nursing homes feel so cold, too much like a hospital. It’s hard to find places for people like Aunt Georgia. She had ALS and, while I was her caretaker and wanted to be, she had many friends in her ALS support group who weren’t in the same position. Some families don’t want to take on the burden, and some families can’t do it. I want to build a place where those people will be welcomed, loved, and treated as family and friends. Somewhere that doesn’t feel sterile, like a hospital.”
I cut myself off before going on and on. Within the last few days, I had surprised myself with my passion for my idea, but on
ce it had taken root, it was like a weed. There was no stopping its growth.
“Dammit, Zoe,” Ridge muttered. “You make it really fucking hard to not want more with you.”
My mouth dropped open, and my gaze fell to the floor. I didn’t know how to respond to that except to remind him that this was temporary. It had to be temporary. I swallowed, reinforcing the walls I had put around myself. I couldn’t let lines like that get to me. I couldn’t fall for them. I couldn’t fall for him.
“Don’t even say it,” he said. “I know what this is. I know it’s a fling and I’m good with that. Your idea is amazing.”
“Thanks,” I said. “I’m looking at real estate all over the country to find the perfect place to renovate for it. Wherever that spot is, that’s where I’ll go.”
18
Zoe
Warmth filled my chest that morning as I took my first sip of coffee. Adeline added a little whipped cream and cinnamon to the top. I licked my lip where a little cream had left a mark. Shortly after I’d come in to Joe & Pages, the morning crowd had arrived. Adeline was whisking back and forth between the cash register and the coffee station, serving people their drinks.
I flipped through a coffee table book about Hawk Valley. It was time to choose where to spread Aunt Georgia’s ashes. There were so many places where we had memories together or that I knew were special to her, but I didn’t know how to choose among them. Or if I should select several and leave little pieces of her all over the town.
I smirked and flipped to the next page. I think she’d like that, leaving her mark all over the town. The bell over the door rang as new customers came in, and I looked up and froze. My heart stopped beating in my chest and the air stalled in my lungs. Seconds didn’t tick by on the clock. Everything around me ceased to exist except for the two women walking through Joe & Pages’ front door.
The worst part of myself wanted to duck into an aisle of books so they wouldn’t see me. It was the same fear and guilt that had made me leave town in the first place. The same fear and guilt that had kept me from coming back until now.
