“I would rather not say. I really just want to forget it all. Can you just forget about the spray paint and help me with the other problem.”
“OK, let’s break this down. You can have an orgasm, but not from a man. How many men are we talking about here?”
“Uh… four,” I tell her.
“You have slept with four men and none of them were able to bring you to orgasm?” she asks again.
“Right,” I answer. I wish she wouldn’t keep repeating it.
“Alright, we are about to get real personal here. Did any of those men go down on you?”
“Umm… No. The first time I was 19, and I think it was his first time too. It was so quick I didn’t really know what I was supposed to expect. The other two were casual, and I never slept with them again. By that time I figured there was something wrong with me and I faked it. Then I started dating Roger. He was my first real steady boyfriend. I was still faking it, but he figured it out. He said he didn’t go down on a girl, he had some bad experience, and he just couldn’t bring himself to do that ever again,” I tell her honestly.
“You know, I was just reading an article in a magazine that said there are two different kinds of orgasms. A vaginal orgasm that comes from actual penetration and a clitoral orgasm that comes from oral sex or self-stimulation. Maybe that’s why you can give yourself one, but a man’s penis has never given you one. Maybe he really didn’t know what to do with his penis. I don’t know how much of the article I believe, but it sounds like it makes sense.”
Thinking about what Willow is saying, maybe there is hope for me. Then again, maybe not, I am almost 30 and no man has ever given me an orgasm either vaginal or clitoral. It’s always been me and my battery operated friend. That just doesn’t sound normal to me.
“I can see you spinning some wheels in there. It’s obvious you have just never found the right guy. Have you ever talked to a doctor about this? I can give you some pointers on ways to achieve an orgasm.”
“Oh my God, no. I don’t want to know about your sex life with my brother. That’s just gross. No, I have never talked to my doctor. I am too embarrassed. Roger made me feel like I wasn’t a real woman. I thought for sure I would never get involved with another man, ever again. But spending time with Kyle these past few days has changed my mind. I’m so scared of hurting him though. I don’t want to make him feel like a failure when he can’t make me come either. Don’t men take that type of thing personally?”
“You’re scared of hurting him. Honey, you haven’t even given him a chance. You’re only hurting yourself here in the end. I really want to help you though. Are you sure I can’t tell you a little. I won’t say his name and just don’t think about it being your brother, just think about it being a man I’m married to.”
“Oh, this is embarrassing. Alright, I’ll try.”
Willow starts laughing, and I immediately think she’s laughing at my situation, and I’m ready to high tail it out of there. Her face changes when she realizes what I’m thinking.
“Oh, no, I wasn’t laughing at you. I was just thinking about what Ash…. I mean what my husband said to me just before Abbey was born. He called me a butt whore.”
“A butt whore? Oh God, I don’t think I can do this,” I tell her.
“Trust me, you can do this. Have you ever had a man’s finger up your ass?” she asks me seriously.
“Oh hell no, and please don’t ever use finger and ass in the same sentence ever again,” I beg her.
“Don’t be so quick to dismiss it. Let me just say that I am not into the whole anal sex thing, but a man’s finger up your ass is absolutely phenomenal.”
“You are kidding right?”
“No, I’m not. Look they have to know what they are doing, but if I were to give you one tip to start with, it would be that maybe you just can’t have an orgasm through actual sex. Don’t be so hard on yourself. The article said that about sixty five percent of women can only achieve an orgasm through some sort of clitoral stimulation. That’s either from toys or from oral sex. Most likely you’re just part of the majority and can only have an orgasm through oral stimulation. That’s a big percentage of women in the same category. There’s nothing wrong with you. And if you can get a little finger action up the ass, let me tell you, it will rock your world.
“I think you should talk to your doctor though, just to make sure everything’s alright down there. You shouldn’t be embarrassed to talk to your own doctor.
“Roger is just a straight up asshole. He better hope I never meet him. Don’t be so hard on yourself. The right man will come along and he will want to love you the way you need to be loved. He will go out of his way to make sure your needs are taken care of, whatever they may be. Roger is a selfish prick and deserves to have is dick lopped off.”
“Willow, you crack me up. I’m so glad I had this conversation with you. I thought for sure there was something wrong with me. I’ll admit I am beyond scared to get involved sexually with a man, but I’m willing to give it another try.”
“Do you think Dr. Peters is the man to give it a try with?” she asks, wiggling her eye brows.
“Willow, I just met the man. We had a wonderful time last night, and I’m seeing him later this afternoon. Actually I should probably get going and get ready, we’re going on a hike.”
“Alright, Amelia, I’m always here for you, I hope you know that. I am an open book with you, and I will help you any way I can. Also just a side note here. Once you get to know Kyle just before you think your relationship is ready to go there, talk to him about it. If he is any decent guy worthy of you, he’ll listen. I saw the way he looked at you. Give him a chance.”
“Alright, Willow. Thanks for lunch and the talk. I need to go home and scrub my brain and get the vision of my brother sticking his finger up your ass out of my mind.”
“Go on, get out of here, have fun on your date.”
Kyle
I slip into Amelia’s apartment building as another couple is walking out. I take the elevator to Amelia’s floor and knocked on her door at exactly two thirty. She opens the door wearing jeans and a t-shirt and a pair of hiking boots. Damn, a woman in hiking boots is hot.
“Kyle, it’s good to see you. I’m all ready. Let me just grab my backpack, and we can head on out.”
She grabs her backpack, and I can tell there is just something different about her today. She seems more, I don’t know, relaxed. I take her backpack from her, and we walk to the elevator holding hands. I can see the grin on her lips as we walk to my car. I know what she’s feeling, because I’m wearing that exact same grin. I put her backpack in the trunk with mine then open her door for her.
“You seem happy. Did you have a good lunch with Willow?” I ask.
“Yes, I did. I should have had that talk with her a long time ago.”
“Is it something I can help you with?” I ask, hoping she would open up with me.
She looks at me with horror, while her cheeks turn a deep shade of red.
“No, uh it was just a girl talk. You know, about girl things,” she says and looks out the passenger window.
“Well, whatever it was, I’m glad. I like to see you happy. Is your hand doing OK? I totally forgot about it, maybe we should cancel the hike.”
“No, really it’s fine. I’ve been looking forward to the hike all day.”
“Alright, but I’ll keep an extra special eye on you all day.” And I don’t just mean her hand, I say to myself.
We meet Spence and Amanda at Twin Falls Trail just thirty miles outside of Seattle. The hike is beautiful and one we have done several times. This will be Amelia’s first time on this trail, and I know she is just going to love it.
“Is everyone ready to go?” Spence says as he grabs his backpack and puts it on.
“I think Amelia and I are ready,” I say. I help Amelia put her backpack on then I put on my own.
Amelia and Amanda hit it off right away like I knew they would. They walk beh
ind Spence and I chatting away, getting to know one another. After a little ways, Spence grabs Amanda’s hand and they walk ahead huddled together talking and laughing with each other. I walk next to Amelia and grab her good hand in mine, and we walk in silence as we take in the beautiful scenery.
“I’ve been thinking. If I tell you about why I almost gave up being a doctor, will you tell me what was bothering you at dinner about your ex-boyfriend?” I ask as I look into her eyes hoping we can both open up to each other just a little.
I can see her thinking hard about that one. My guess is that she wants to know so bad why I almost gave up being a doctor that she is willing to tell me just about anything.
“That’s a tough decision. Let me think about it for awhile. If I do tell you, it has to be alone, I wouldn’t want Amanda and Spence to be a part of the conversation.”
“Absolutely, they usually break off by themselves on the way back so they can have some alone time. Think about it, no pressure,” I assure her.
We walk hand in hand until we reach the half way point. Spence and Amanda rest for a few minutes drinking water then invite us out to dinner later this evening at a burger joint. We accept and tell them we will see them there at eight.
“So, did you think about it?” I ask her, hopeful she will let me in just a little if I give her a little piece of me.
“I did. I will tell you, but I will warn you if you laugh at me I will never forgive you. It’s extremely personal, and I think I will need my head examined after I tell you.”
“Alright, I’ll tell you my story first. Full disclosure here, I’m only telling you about why I almost gave up being a doctor. My sister and my family is a whole other story for some other time. And Amelia, I would never laugh at you.”
“Alright, agreed then.”
“I was just out of medical school and I was doing my internship at a different hospital. There is a little bit of my sister in this story, but only because it’s relevant. My sister and I are twins. We went all through college and medical school together. We were even doing our internship at the same hospital together. It was only our second birth we did together. The doctor on duty couldn’t be located so Chloe and I had to do the delivery by ourselves.
“Something went horribly wrong. The mother and baby went into distress. Everything started happening all at once. Their condition deteriorated so quickly. In the end the mother and baby died. It was the first time I had experienced death. I thought all through medical school that it was all about new life and beginnings for families.
“Of course, I knew there were risks and babies died, but I never prepared myself for a mother and baby to die together. It almost destroyed both my sister and I. I really questioned whether or not I could continue. A few weeks later, I learned it was not our fault, that the mother had an underlying condition that put her and her baby at severe risk. I was told even the best of doctors couldn’t have changed the outcome.”
I finish talking and glance at Amelia and she has tears streaming down her cheeks. I quickly wipe them away.
“Kyle, that is so awful and sad. I don’t know what I would have done if anything had happened to either Willow or Abbey.”
“It took me a long time to accept what happened and move on. Alright, it’s your turn to share,” I tell her, hoping I shared enough of me to let me into a little of her.
“Ugh, alright. I can’t believe I’m going to say this to you, I only met you a few days ago.”
She tells me all about her ex-boyfriend, Roger, and the things that he said to her. Every word she says I’m having a hard time not losing my shit. I don’t want to interrupt her. I want her to get it all out. But this fuck wad obviously doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing, and I can’t believe a man would ever say those things to a woman. He obviously is no kind of man at all if he can’t see to the needs of his girlfriend. What a selfish prick.
“Amelia, I’m glad you talked to Willow about this, and I’m glad she told you the things she told you. I’m sure there is nothing wrong with you. It was probably a combination of several things, but it probably has nothing to do with your ability to have a…”
“Please don’t say it. I’m already mortified to have even told you the whole story,” she says, while holding up her hands to stop me from talking.
“Well, I’m glad you told me and I would never have laughed at you. No real man would say those things to a woman. A real man sees to the needs of his woman. First.”
I lean slightly into her and kiss her on the lips. She is warm and soft and being out in nature kissing a woman like Amelia lessens the pain of my family drama. Just a little bit.
“We should head back if we want to make it back in time to still meet Spence and Amanda for dinner,” I tell her and grab her hand then lead her back to the car.
Chapter 5
Amelia
I never intended on telling a single soul about my problem or about Roger, but today I have told two people in the matter of hours. I did leave out the spray paint this time with Kyle, because he already looked so angry. I can’t imagine what he would do if he found out about the spray paint. I have to say it feels pretty damn good though. I was relieved Kyle didn’t laugh at me or think I was deformed. We drove back to my apartment and Kyle said he would pick me back up at seven thirty. I jump in the shower and quickly get ready. Soon my door is buzzing, and I buzz Kyle up to my apartment.
“Are you ready to go?” he asks.
“I am.”
“Let me wrap your hand a little better for you. I think tomorrow you can leave the wrap off and just wear a bandage. I’ll check it again in a few days, and we might be able to remove the stitches,” he tells me.
I don’t think I can wait that long. My hand feels so much better, and it will be nice not to have to wear this big gauze wrap.
We walk to the burger place a few blocks from my apartment. Spence and Amanda are waiting at a table already drinking a beer. There is a pitcher and two empty glasses waiting for us. All four of us order an enormous burger and garlic fries and wash it down with plenty of beer. The four of us get along so great and spending time with Kyle has been so incredibly nice. Tomorrow is Monday, and I can just imagine how crazy it is going to be. I really should call it a night.
“I hate to break up this party, but I really should be going. I have a busy day tomorrow at work,” I tell everyone.
“Yes, I need to get going as well. I have rounds at seven in the morning,” Kyle says.
Kyle pays for our meal, takes my hand and we walk back to my apartment. We stand just outside the building, and he pulls me in for a hug.
“I had a really nice time today. When can I see you again?” he asks.
“I do have a busy day tomorrow, and then I have a dinner at Asher and Willow’s with my family. Let me give you my cell phone number, and we can figure it out tomorrow.”
“Alright, thank you for listening to me today, and I want you to know I really appreciate you sharing with me today too. I also want you to know I’m pretty sure your ex-boyfriend is an asshole.”
“Willow said the exact same thing,” I say laughing.
He gives me a tight squeeze and kisses me. It starts off slow and warm then the next thing I know his hand is fisted in my hair, and I have my hand up his shirt. I quickly remember we are standing outside my apartment building and break off the kiss.
“We’ll talk tomorrow?” I ask him.
“Absolutely. Have a good night, Amelia.”
“You too, Kyle, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I don’t know what comes over me, but I grab the sides of his face and plant another hot kiss on his lips and then I turn around and let myself into the building. I push the up button on the elevator and glance out the window. Kyle is still standing there just staring at the door with a goofy grin on his face. The elevator opens, and I step in giving him a little wave goodbye. The elevator door closes, and I realize I didn’t even give him my number.
Monday morning is as cra
zy as I thought it would be. Asher is taking two weeks off to be with Willow and Abbey. So not only am I an assistant short, I am taking on some of Asher’s work too. I haven’t even had time for my usual espresso and I think I’m about ready to go postal on the next person to walk into my office. Just then there is a knock on the door and I seriously have had it.
“WHAT?” I yell.
“I have a delivery for a Ms. Wellington,” a soft voice replies from behind the door. Ugh. I get up and open the door to an arrangement of flowers and a card being held by a delivery man.
“I’m so sorry I yelled, it’s been one of those days.” I take the card and the delivery boy places the flowers on my desk. He doesn’t even wait for a tip and high tails it out of my office. I’m not going to survive this. Maybe I need a temporary assistant until Willow comes back. I inhale the beautiful smell of the flowers and try to calm myself down.
I plop in my chair and open the card. It’s from Kyle. He tells me to call him when I have a free moment, and he hopes I am having a good day. Well I’m having a bad day, but it just got a little bit better. I dial his number and listen to it ring. On the third ring I hear his soothing voice answer.
“Hello.”
“Hi, Kyle, it’s me, Amelia. I just got your flowers. Thank you. They’re beautiful.”
“You’re welcome. How is your day going?” he asks.
“A lot better now. Sorry, I totally forgot that I never gave you my cell phone number last night.”
“That’s alright. I still knew where to find you. Has your day really been that bad?” he asks with concern.
“It’s even worse than bad. I just bit the flower delivery guys head off, and I think I’m going to have to contact a temp agency and get a temporary assistant in here until Willow can return. How about you? How is your day?”
“Busy, but no more than usual. I can’t talk long. I just wanted you to call me so I can have your number. I hope your day gets easier. I’ll try to text you later, OK?”
“Sure, thanks again for the flowers, and I hope you have a good rest of your day too,” I tell him with a smile.
I'll Take A Chance (Running Into Love Book 2) Page 4
