by SL Schiefer
“Club sluts?” he asks.
“Sure, if they’re up for it but don’t force it,” I say sternly, not needing any other shit in my life to go down.
“Thanks, when are we heading out?”
Glancing at my phone, I see it’s three PM. “Probably around nine. I want to give them time to get fucked up since it’s a Saturday. We’re still working on figuring out where they’ll be tonight since we torched their clubhouse.”
“Alright, sounds like a plan. We’ll be back down here and ready to go then.”
Everyone at that time gets up and files out. My club knows better than to ask me anything else pertaining to what we’re doing tonight. They know if I don’t offer information up then I’m either not ready to or I don’t know it yet.
Creep is the only one who stays behind. I’m sure he thinks I’m reacting purely off of emotion right now. Probably am. But what else am I going to do? I need to get my pops’ body so we can bury him.
“Are you going to call Raven and talk to her?” he finally asks, still sitting next to me.
“If we have a little bit of time probably, but I need to focus. She’ll distract the hell out of me. I want to remember exactly what I have to do all day.”
He raises his head to look at me. Giving me a sympathetic look, he says, “I know you love her, and she loves you, but you need to tell her you’re okay. She’s going to worry. She needs to know you’re going to come home. Even if it’s a lie and you don’t know, she needs to be told.”
Taking a deep breath, I nod my head. “I know, you’re right. I’ll go call her now.”
Getting up, I make my way to the garage. It’s the only place where no one is right now. I need privacy to be able to talk to her.
Finding her name on my phone, I press the call button and put my phone up to my ear. It only rings a couple times before she answers.
“Hey, Gunner. What’s going on?” She knows something is up. I can’t tell her everything, obviously, but I can tell her the main thing.
“Pops was killed.” That’s it. Three words. Three words which completely make me rethink this life I’m living. I have something that’s so much more than running a club.
“Oh, Gunner. I’m so sorry. What is going to happen now?”
“I can’t go into details about it, but we’re hoping there is something left of him for us to have a funeral. If not, then a memorial.”
She gasps on the other end of the phone, “God, this is awful.”
“You know the other night when I left and you woke up and I wasn’t there?”
“Yeah?”
“I went to the club and got into a fight with my dad. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since.” Telling her where I was, and what I was doing, hopefully erases any thoughts that I was doing other things from her mind.
“Why would you go fight with your dad?”
“Because he told you about your dad.”
Another intake of breath travels through the phone. “You went and beat the shit out of your dad because he hurt me?”
Her voice quivers through the phone. “Angel, you ask me that like I wouldn’t fuck up anyone who hurt you. Family or not. And are you crying?”
“Nope. Not crying. When can I expect you home?”
She’s lying, but I’ll deal with her later. “As soon as I’m done, I’m coming straight to you. Probably be really late. And I’m going to wake you up when I get in our bed.”
“Our bed?” The quiver is gone, hopefully replaced by a smile.
“Yeah, our bed. Our house. Our home. Get used to it, Angel. There are going to be a lot of changes coming soon.”
Creep opens the door to the garage and beckons me back inside with a jerk of his head.
“Listen, Angel, I need to go. I have a lot to do before we head out tonight.”
“Okay, stay safe. Come home to me, do you understand?”
“Angel, I’m not leaving you. Ever. I will always come home. I love you.”
This time I hear the smile in her voice when she says, “I love you, too, Gunner.”
I end the call and shove the phone back in my pocket. Heading back inside, I go to the main room.
When I get there, what I see completely stops me in my tracks. I have flashbacks of waiting up every night for her to come back home but my dad telling me she didn’t love us anymore. That’s why she left, because she didn’t love us. Didn’t love me enough to stay or take me with her.
“Gunner. How are you, son?”
“Patricia. What the fuck are you doing here?”
“News travels fast. I heard that Jim died, so I came to pay my respects. And to check on you.”
The fuck? “To check on me? How about any time after I turned five and you up and fucking left us? How about every night I cried for my mom? When I was sick? First girlfriend? No, you just left and didn’t look the fuck back. Not once.”
“Do you know why I left?”
We’ve drawn a crowd, but I couldn’t give two shits less. I have no need to hide this from anyone. But, fuck, she could’ve picked a better day to show up like this. Without answering, I just shake my head.
“Your dad couldn’t stay faithful. Not long after I found out I was pregnant with you, I found out he got another woman pregnant. That woman was a club slut, but she was with so many guys. She picked one of them besides your father and told them that they knocked her up.”
Narrowing my eyes at her, I ask, “What the fuck are you getting at?”
“The woman your dad got pregnant stayed in the club, but someone else took care of her and her son. And he’s still here.”
“I have a brother? I have a fucking brother! And no one could have fucking told me?” I’m screaming at her. She takes it well, too, and doesn’t flinch once.
“Yes. Your half-brother is standing in this room with you. Do you want to know who it is?”
Do I want to know? I look around at everyone standing there, seeing if I can pick out who it is, but no one looks like me or Pops. “I don’t know. I’ve lived this long without knowing, what good would it do now?”
“You all think of yourself as brothers, so what difference will it make if you know? You’ll already take a bullet for anyone in this club. Telling you who it is will only make that bond stronger.”
I chew on my lip, seriously trying to figure out if this is the right move. God, I want to be at home, lying in bed with Raven. I want to be wrapped up in her. Not here listening to this god damn shit.
“Tell me.”
“It’s Brad.”
Creep. It’s fucking Creep. I turn around and search him out. When my eyes land on his face, he’s gone pale. Fucker almost looks like he’s going to pass out. I don’t fucking blame him.
Of course, it would be the guy I consider my best friend. I wonder if we were raised to be best friends because of that and just never filled in on the why.
I’ll never get the answers I want from Pops, but I can always question his mom.
“Well, Creep, welcome to the fucked up family,” is what I finally say to him.
Everyone chuckles. Leave it to me to try to take the seriousness out of a conversation.
“Listen, Patricia…” I start to say, but she interrupts me.
“Can’t you call me mom?” she asks with a hurt look crossing her face.
“Why? You’ve never been a mom to me before. I need you to leave. Give me your phone number and I’ll get the funeral details to you. And then if I want to talk to you, I’ll let you know, but don’t try to contact me. I have other shit going on that I need to focus on.”
“Like Raven? How is she?”
“What the fuck do you know about Raven?” I growl.
“What? Just because I left the club doesn’t mean I still don’t talk to people here.”
“Fucking stop. You’ll have my phone number. Stop going around and finding shit out about me. You don’t have the right to know shit about me anymore.”
I stand up and walk bac
k to the room we started off in. Creep follows me silently. Once inside, he locks the door behind him. I go back to the chair at the head of the table and sit down. Propping my elbows on the table, I drop my head into my hands.
Creep makes his way over to the chair he sat in just a little bit ago. “I didn’t know, man.”
“I know. I know you would have told me if you knew.”
“This doesn’t change anything for us. We’re still the same. Just because we find out we’re actually brothers doesn’t change a damn thing.”
Nodding. “I know. But, fuck, I don’t really want to have to jump in front of a bullet for you,” I say and then we both start laughing.
“Alright, well, I’m going to try to go fucking relax before we have to leave. I can’t wait to get home and tell Raven this.”
“Jesus, there are going to be jokes about keeping it in the family,” he chuckles, then turns serious. “I’m not going to mourn your—our—dad the same way you will. I never thought of him as a father, so I’m mourning him as the old President of the club.”
“I understand. I wouldn’t expect anything else from you.”
He taps his closed fist on the table a couple times before standing up and walking out, closing the door quietly behind him.
I pull my phone out, bring up an empty text, and tap one out to Raven.
Me: My mom showed up at the club, says she heard that Pops died and came to pay her respects. Also told me that she left because my dad wasn’t faithful and got another woman pregnant. A woman in the club. So, I have a brother.
Her response comes almost immediately.
Angel: A brother? Did she tell you who it is?
Me: It’s Creep.
Angel: That makes complete sense to me. You two are more alike than you apparently ever realized.
Me: You think so?
Angel: I know. I’m always right, remember?
Me: Yes, your highness. Okay, I really do need to get shit done before we head out. I’ll see you later. I love you.
Angel: I love you, too.
Filing all this shit in a box in the back of mind, I get up to go get my guns ready.
Shit is about to get real.
Chapter Thirty-Nine – Raven
MY STOMACH HAS BEEN turning since I talked with Gunner. His dad was an asshole, there’s no doubt about that, but he was his dad nonetheless, and losing a parent is never easy. My heart is breaking for him. I can only hope he’ll talk to me about it all, rather than closing all the emotions off somewhere deep inside of him.
Knowing something is going down tonight doesn’t make this any easier. The idea that anything could go wrong at any given moment makes me feel like I’m being suffocated. If he doesn’t come home, I don’t know if I could make it through that type of heartbreak.
“Creep just called,” Jazz says quietly, sitting down in the patio chair next to me.
“What’d he have to say?” I don’t peel my eyes from the scenic view in front of us. The sun is starting to set, making the temperature dip a few degrees cooler. The sky is painted in reds, pinks, and oranges. The trees as far as I can see are full and luscious greens. Some are just starting to turn with tints of yellows and oranges.
Views like this in or even around the Detroit area are rare. It’s absolutely breathtaking. Calming. I’m not sure I’ll be moving from this spot until Gunner gets home. I’m afraid to leave the tranquility of it. Fear is edging in around me, and right now, this seems to be keeping it all at bay.
“Well, apparently Bug has a big fucking mouth. I just got grilled about who the father would be. If it was possible more happened than what I let on at Jake’s club. Yadi yadi yada,” she says, her voice dripping with annoyance as she rolls her eyes.
“What the hell did Bug do that for?” I’m actually surprised he told him, although I shouldn’t be since Gunner knew about the tampon run.
“Hell if I know! But now I know not to trust Bug with shit.”
“What’d Creep say? What’d you say? I need details, woman!”
“Well, first he sounded pissed. Then he was concerned something more happened at Jake’s, and when I told him I was honest about everything, he went back to being pissed. So then I started asking if he was jealous,” she laughs.
“Sounds like it to me,” I smile. “Did you tell him the truth?”
For the sake of not wanting Gunner to know until after whatever plan they’re following through with tonight is done, I don’t want him to know. The last thing he needs is a huge distraction like this. One distraction. That’s all it could take to make a colossal mistake to keep him from coming home alive.
“Ye have little faith,” she grins.
“I have full faith in you, Jazz, but I know you want him, and wouldn’t want something like this to prevent that from happening.”
“Well, if he wouldn’t give me a chance because I have a bun in the oven, then fuck him.”
I shake my head at her words. “You do know you’re not pregnant, right?”
“Yeah, but he doesn’t.”
I look over at her and grin. “So where’d you guys leave the subject?”
“Well, he’s jealous, even though he says he’s not. But until you tell me I can, I won’t be setting him straight on this matter.”
“I’m sorry, Jazz, but thank you for covering for me.” Just another reason why I love this girl so much. She’d do anything for me and she proves it over and over again.
“What are best bitches for? So where’s your head at with all of this?”
“Ugh,” I groan. “I don’t have a clue. My mind is all over the place right now. From what I’m going to do, to Gunner’s reaction, to what if something goes wrong tonight and he doesn’t come home. I don’t know what to do. Or what to even say to him. We were careful.”
I’m still shocked I’m pregnant. I chugged glass after glass of water to pee on the two remaining sticks from the box just to make sure the first wasn’t a fluke. Nope. I’m definitely pregnant. And of course, this couldn’t have happened at a worse time.
“You need to relax. This is their life, Rave. He’s smart, and he’s not alone in this. He’ll come home,” she promises softly. “Besides, you have a baby cooking in there.” She grins, pointing at my stomach. “The less stress the better, so find a way to quit internally freaking over this.”
“His dad was killed, Jazz. It could just as easily happen to any of them. At any time.”
“Okay, stop,” she orders, holding her hand up in the air. “Quit looking at everything that could go wrong and start finding something happy to fill your head with. You’re going to have a baby!”
“I wish I could be as enthused as you are about it right now. I just… what if he doesn’t want a baby? It’s only been, like, two months. What if he blames me for trapping him? What if—“
“Stop! What if? You want to play that game? Fine. What if this is just what he needs right now? What if this news is the best news of his life? What if he’s the best father in the world? What if this is his chance to finally have the family he never got to have?”
Hmm. So she has some valid points, but it doesn’t help ease the fear swirling inside of me over it all. I don’t know how Gunner is going to react.
“I don’t think I can do this, Jazz,” I whisper.
“Do what exactly?”
“Raise this baby in club life. This, tonight, it’s scary shit. And it’s very possible this may not be the last situation like this. If it’s not Jake and his club, it could be something else entirely. Gunner could leave us alone so easily, even if it’s involuntarily.” The thought makes my stomach muscles clench.
“Okay, Debbie Downer,” she mutters. “Time to start thinking about how awesome of a mom you’re going to be. And what an awesome aunt this kid is going to have.”
My stomach is starting to hurt from everything. I shoot her a small smile before I stand. “I don’t feel so well. I’m going to go lie down for a bit.”
“It�
�s all going to be okay, Rave.”
“Yeah,” I nod. Not because I believe her, but because I just don’t want to talk about it anymore.
***
When my eyes open, there’s no more light shining through the windows. Peeking at the clock, I see it’s almost midnight. When I turn to reach my phone on the bedside table, a sharp pain shoots through my lower stomach, stealing my breath, followed by consistent, mild cramping. I flinch as I curl back into the fetal position, trying to help the pain subside.
A few minutes later, I slide out of bed and head to the bathroom. When I pull my panties down to pee, I notice the crotch is red. What the hell?
My heart beats rapidly in my chest and tears sting my eyes. I’ve barely had a chance to let the idea that I was going to be a mother sink in. I haven’t even told Gunner yet, and now… now I think this may mean there won’t be anything to tell, and that idea has me wanting to shatter.
I quickly pee, rapidly swiping at the tears rolling down my face. After washing my hands and grabbing a fresh pair of panties and sticking a pad in them, I hunt down Jazz.
When I get to the room she’s been using, I don’t hesitate to wake her up.
“Jazz,” I nearly yell as I shake her body.
“Hm?” she moans.
“Get up.” I shake her again.
“What? What’s wrong?” she asks as she shoots into a sitting position.
“I’m bleeding.” As the words leave my mouth, I stop caring about erasing the tears that fall.
“What?” Her eyes are wide as what I’m saying starts to sink into her sleepy, fuzzy mind.
“Do you think the tests were wrong?” Could they have been? Is that possible to have three false positives? Maybe I did it wrong…
“All three? Not a chance,” she reassures me. “We’re going to the hospital.”
“Don’t you think that’s a little extreme? I mean we just found out. I’m probably not even that far along.”
“And what if something happens because you neglected to be seen? You’d regret it forever, Rave. Get your damn shoes on,” she orders as she jumps up and throws a pair of sweats and flip flops on. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”
