by E J Frost
me another one later.”
Behind us, someone makes a gagging
noise and says, “Get a room.”
“Your brother, I presume,” I say to Kez.
She turns around on the bench to look at Ape.
“Where’ve you been?” she asks.
“Last minute run. Hemos to Nock. I got
double for it.”
“I got double for it,” Gig objects.
“I did the run,” Ape says.
“I negotiated the fee.” Gig gets the final
word and Ape cuffs him across the back of
the head in acknowledgement as he goes to
sit between Chiara and Duncan.
I don’t try to follow the conversation that
follows between Ape, Gig, Chiara and
Duncan. It seems to go back and forth
between the runs they’ve done that day and
the high score on the v-game Duncan was
playing. Gig takes a lot of ribbing off
Duncan, and not all of it is good-natured.
“How long’s Duncan been parta your
crew?” I ask Kez.
She pauses in the middle of tearing a bite
of meat off the chunk she’s holding in her
chopsticks. Her lips are red and glossy with
sauce. Her white teeth are sunk deep in the
meat. The sight makes me hotter than if she’d
ripped off all her clothes and spread eagle
on the table. Well, maybe not hotter than that,
but close. I’m glad we’re sitting down ‘cause
no one could fail to see the tent pole the little
monster’s just popped in my fatigues.
Kez drops the meat. Swallows nervously.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she
whispers.
“Later.” If Kincaid hasn’t ruined her for
oral sex, I’m going to see those white teeth
around other meat later.
She tilts her head warily. Then she
glances down at the piece of meat she’s
dropped onto her plate, and back up at me.
Her pupils dilate. “What were you—?”
“I said, later. Answer my question.”
“Um.” She wipes her mouth. Pokes at her
food with her chopsticks. “Six months or so.
Around the time Ape hooked up with Chiara.
Why?”
“I’m just wonderin’ how he fits in.”
“Oh, I hired him to help me handle the
volume. We started getting a lot of longer
runs and Ape and I couldn’t keep up. I didn’t
want to let my clients down. He was already
a pretty well-known runner, so it wasn’t hard
to sell him to clients. He’s done okay so far.”
Her tone suggests he’s still on probation. Six
months is a long time for him to still be
proving himself. Her trust issues emerging?
Or maybe she just doesn’t like the way he
treats Gig. I’m not sure I like it, myself.
“He live here?”
She shakes her head. “He has his own
place.”
There’s clearly some significance to that.
“Why?”
She glances down the table, then turns a
little towards me so the others can’t see her
face. Looks at me very steadily. “I don’t
want him here,” she mouths, barely making
any sound.
I raise an eyebrow. Wait to see if she
elaborates. When she doesn’t, I hazard a
guess. “He make a play for you?”
She nods. I slant him a glance. He’s too
clean-cut for her. She needs someone darker,
to give her that edge she craves.
“After he’d already been with Nevie,”
she whispers.
Guess they don’t share everything after
all.
I pick up a small piece of meat with my
chopsticks. Offer it to her. I want to see those
white teeth in action again.
She takes the meat delicately between her
teeth, reminding me of Alpha Bunny. Both
are queens of their hives. And they get to say
who and when.
I waggle a finger at Kez and she leans
into me. I put my mouth so close to her ear,
my lips brush her skin. “What’re the chances
of gettin’ to groom you later, Queen Bunny?”
She grins, that full, cockstand-inducing,
mischievous grin. “Pretty good. But the
dominant male doesn’t ask.”
“No?”
She shakes her head. “You haven’t met
Tigger yet. He’s probably sleeping on my
bed.”
“What’s King Bunny do when he wants
some groomin’?”
“Bites the scruff of her neck.”
“Mmm, bunny love sounds rough.”
Kez laughs. “And brief. But they do it a
lot.”
“Works for me.”
A wadded-up napkin hits Kez in the side
of the head. I glance up and meet Ape’s blue
glare. “You’re putting me off my food,” he
grouses.
Kez flushes all the way to the pierced
tips of her ears. She picks the napkin out of
her food. Puts it to one side. Rises. Walks
over to her brother and slaps him across the
face. Hard.
Chiara jumps off the bench in her haste to
get away. Duncan just leans to the side.
“You ass!” Kez shoves her face right into
her brother’s. “I’ve never said a word about
you. Not about the fucking parade you’ve
brought through here. Not when you moved
her in without even asking me first. Not when
you’ve been humping so hard you’ve
practically come through my damn wall. I
never said a thing. So you keep your fucking
opinions to yourself!”
She turns on her heel and storms away,
slamming foliage out of her way. Guess her
patience with little brother isn’t infinite after
all.
Ape has gone so red he looks ready to
explode. I give him a condescending smile as
I pick up our trays of food and chopsticks.
“Nice timing, Ace.”
I follow Kez into the jungle.
I let her lead the way to wherever she’s
going. Make no attempt to catch up with her
as she strides through the garden, up a short
flight of stairs, then down a hallway. She
kicks open a door, slams it shut behind her. I
balance both trays of food in one hand, open
the door quietly and step through.
Her bedroom. No doubt about it. Screens
patterned with cherry blossoms and birds
hide the permacrete walls. Long rack of girl
clothes against one wall. Big mirror and
dressing table. Oversized futon for a bed,
neatly made, with a startled black rabbit
sitting in the middle of it.
Kez spins and begins to snarl, then she
sees who has followed her and the fight goes
out of her. She sags onto the futon, rests her
elbows on her knees and hangs her head.
“I’m sorry.”
I set the trays of food down on the
polished wood floor. Join her on the futon.
The rabbit gives me a disgruntled glare, hops
off the bed and disappears through a
<
br /> membrane in the bottom of the door. That’s
why she’s got one of the old manual doors
instead of a slider: so the rabbits can come
and go. “What was that all about, kitten?”
“I get so angry at him sometimes,” she
whispers.
I put my arm around her shoulders. Wait
for her to lean into me. When she does, I
settle my hand in her hair and coax her head
onto my shoulder. “That been comin’ for a
while?” I ask.
She nods against my shoulder. “Sorry.
It’s not about you.”
I already figured that. It’s about her being
alone when her brother had someone, a string
of someones, and rubbed her nose in it. It’s
about having to take care of him, put his
needs first, when she was just a kid herself.
Maybe it would help if she spits all that out.
“What’s it about then?”
“Nothing.”
Maybe she’s not ready to spit it out. I
shrug the shoulder under her head. “You
don’t wanna talk, we don’t have to talk. I’m
just as happy finishin’ dinner before it goes
cold.”
She fiddles with one of her dreadlocks.
“I don’t want to bore you.”
“I’ll tell you when I’m bored.”
She sighs. “Do you have any brothers or
sisters?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Then it probably won’t make any sense
to you.”
“’Cause I don’t have any brothers or
sisters? You think that means I’ve never
resented anyone I cared about?” My
resentment towards Marin alone could fill
several galaxies.
“Sorry.” She hunches her shoulder
against my side, then leans more solidly into
me. “I’ve tried to make it up to Ape, you
know, that he doesn’t have anyone but me.
I’ve never said no. Whenever he wanted
something . . . I got it. No matter what the
cost. I’ve bled for him. Done things I swore
I’d never do.” She bites her lip. Takes a
deep breath. “He never even says thank you.”
She’s spoiled him, and now it’s biting
her in the ass. Ingrate. “Thank you’s not in
little brother vocabulary.”
“He’s not a baby anymore.” She looks up
at me. “It’s time for him to grow up. I
shouldn’t have to pull his ass out of the fire
again and again. I shouldn’t have to do this
. . .”
She shifts away from me. Just slightly.
But I feel it, and I know. This is it. This is
what she keeps shying away from. This is
what she’s hiding. From me. From her
brother. From everyone.
“What is this, Kez? No bullshit this
time.”
She curls into herself, puts her hands
over her face. “I can’t tell you.”
“Yes, you can.”
“I can’t.” She rocks back and forth, but
she’s not leaping up, not running away. “I
swore I wouldn’t tell anyone.”
“I’m no one. I don’t even have a name.”
She turns suddenly and puts her arms
around my neck. “You do. You have a name
and secrets and I wish to God I hadn’t
dragged you into this. It’s just . . . I didn’t
know how many chances I’d have after this. I
was afraid it might be my last chance with
you.”
I don’t like the sound of that. “S’okay,
kitten.” I close my arms around her carefully.
One hand in her dreadlocks. The other
cupping the curve of her back, away from the
bruise, away from the scar. Non-threatening,
to help her relax enough to tell me whatever
secret she’s been holding so tight. “Let it
go.”
She’s silent for a long moment, then turns
her face to rest her cheek on my collar. Rubs
her skin against mine. “You know how I
followed you into the Delta a couple nights
ago?”
“Yeah.”
“I was upset. I thought you were going to
be with a girl, and . . . I didn’t like it. I lost
track of where I was. I crossed over into Red
territory. I didn’t have any business there. I
didn’t have anything to trade. They caught me
and they wanted skin and I wouldn’t give it
to them without a fight. So they put me up on
the K-net. Sold me to the highest bidder.”
My gut tightens. “What happened?”
“Someone bid twenty thou hard for me.”
“Fuck.” That’s a lot of credits for one
little runner.
“I know . . . it’s too much. I knew it as
soon as they told me the bid. They were
gloating. I knew I was fucked.”
I draw her a little closer. “What’d they
do to you?” None of her scars look recent,
but they could have hurt her in other ways.
“Nothing, really. They took me to a
warehouse in Hemos City. Left me there. It
was empty. Just a threedy deck. A man spoke
to me through it. He was using a distorter. I
never saw him.”
She didn’t need to. She knows who he is,
and so do I.
“It was the way he spoke about Chiara,”
she continues. “He used her name and he
said it . . .”
“The way a father would,” I finish for
her. Since I found out her brother’s doing
Baby Tyng, I figured this was coming.
She nods against my neck.
“You had to know, sooner or later, that
this particular shit would hit the fan.”
She shrugs. “Chiara told us a lot of
things. She said she was estranged from her
family. That her father had disowned her.
Ape’s not the first street-rat she’s been with.
She was on the Liquid Circuit for a while
before they hooked up. But, I don’t know, I
guess he’s the first guy she’s been serious
about.”
“What’d Tyng have to say?” I ask.
“He was angry. He wanted to scare me.
He did a good job.” She makes a little
snuffling noise. “He wants blood. Flesh. To
pay for the loss of his family’s honor. He
said nothing I could do would make up for
how my family has dishonored his.”
It’s funny how seriously criminals take
honor, when most straight cits think they
don’t have any. But when you live outside
the law, all you have is your word. And
honor becomes everything.
“He said . . . horrible things. He said
he’d hurt Ape so bad that no woman would
ever look at him again. He knew about my
back. He said he’d burn Ape, make my back
look like a scratch in comparison. He said he
was having a virus geneered just for Ape, to
eat . . . to eat his dick off. I couldn’t . . .” Her
voice catches. “I couldn’t let him hurt my
brother.”
I close my eyes, knowing what must have
co
me next. “You offered yourself in his
place.”
She nods against my neck. “He’s my
brother. No matter how much of an ass he
can be . . . I’m all he has. If I don’t stand up
for him, who will?”
He doesn’t deserve her. “What’d you
offer?”
“That’s the worst thing. I don’t know. He
kept yelling at me. Saying he wanted flesh.
Something permanent. I swore I’d never give
flesh again . . . I argued with him for a long
time. But he wouldn’t listen.” Her voice
breaks. “Once I agreed to flesh, he stopped
arguing. He just said, ‘I accept.’ But he
didn’t tell me what. Didn’t set any terms. He
said I’d have to do two runs for him, but he’d
pay me for them. He didn’t say anything more
than that. Just that I’d understand after the
second run. He told me the first run was to
New Brunny and the second was to the
Cloudlands. Everything else . . . what I’ve
told you, I figured out for myself.” She
pauses for a long moment then whispers,
“I’m scared, Hale.”
She should be. It’s a test. He’s using the
two runs to figure out what matters to her and
then he’s going to destroy it. He’s going to
break her.
“What if . . . what if I can’t run after this
. . .” she whispers into my skin.
“You’ll still be you.” But I remember that
moment of seeing her run in Eddle. The
beauty and freedom of her movement. If he
cripples her, she won’t be herself. A little bit
of her beauty will be lost.
She snuffles, wipes her nose. “Do you
see why I lost it at him? He sits there and
acts like this isn’t his fault.” I feel wetness
on my neck. I cradle her close, rock her a
little. “He’s never been able to keep it in his
pants. The number of times I’ve bled because
of his dick . . . and then he brings that ticking
time bomb into my house. And he has the
nerve to criticize me?
She takes a deep, harsh breath. “I’ve
never asked him for anything. I’ve never had
anything for myself. And now, now in the
middle of this mess that he’s made . . . I
could lose the one thing I want . . .” Her
voice breaks again.
“What’s that, kitten?” I ask softly.
“You.”
I run my hand up and down her back,
carefully above the scar. “Easy, kitten.”
“He can’t just let it alone. Can’t just be
happy for me. And I’m fucking it up by
dragging you through this mess . . .”
