by Len Webster
Remembering their night in Rhode Island together, AJ hands left his hips, and she wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him to her. “No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Please kiss me already,” she demanded.
Evan chuckled and whispered, “So polite,” before his lips finally found hers.
It felt as if he hadn’t kissed her in forever even though it had only been hours. Slow, agonizing hours since his perfectly soft lips glided over hers. What started innocent quickly turned frantic as something snapped between them.
Maybe it was time.
Or circumstances.
But their kisses turned passionate and intense as his tongue slipped past her lips and found hers. Their tongues danced, causing her knees to weaken and her heart to stretch.
“Evan,” she moaned. He nibbled on her lip and then pulled back. AJ’s chest heaved as she opened her eyes to discover him staring at her. “I want you.”
His hands left her face, and he reached behind him, grasping her hands to pull them away from him. “Let’s go upstairs,” he said and then led her up the staircase.
Moments later, Evan pushed his bedroom door open with his free hand and led her inside. AJ took in his bedroom, and it was the same as she remembered it. When she scanned the room, she found one anomaly that made her chest tighten. Letting go of Evan’s hand, AJ walked over to his desk to find the vacant spot.
He’d gotten rid of it.
The framed picture of them together.
Had Evan come home while she was at Duke and gotten rid of it?
Hands settled gently on her shoulders. “It’s on my desk in my dorm.” He answered the question that ran through her head. “I brought it to Vegas and then to Stanford with me.”
AJ went rigid for a moment and let the doubt slowly fade and a smile returned. He took the picture of them together with him to Stanford. When she had said goodbye to him before he left for his trip to Vegas, he had the frame with him.
He’d always had her with him.
And that realization caused AJ to spin around and wrap her arms around his neck. “And you know mine was on my desk back at Duke before I brought it with us?”
His eyes glimmered. “I do,” he confirmed. “Why did you take that picture with you to college if you wanted to be away from me?”
A pang of guilt invaded her chest, and she felt her shoulders lose their strength. Evan clutched her hips as if he sensed her weakening at his question. “Because I love you, and you were still my everything. I couldn’t not take you to college with me. I know it sounds stupid, but I’d look at that picture of us at Fenway and think I was doing the right thing. That I did it for love. That choosing Duke meant I’d grow and you would, too. That there was a chance someone would possibly love me, and to find that, I had to be away from you.”
Evan shook his head as he moved his arms to clutch the hem of her sweater. “No one could ever love you the way I could, Alexandra. Yes, I realized it too late, but what I do know is that no one understands you, loves you, and wants more for you than I do. I’m your soul mate just as you’re mine.” When he tugged at her sweater, AJ pulled away from him and held up her arms so he could remove it. When the sweater was off, exposing her lilac lace bra, AJ lowered her arms. Evan dropped her sweater on the floor and stepped toward her.
AJ kicked off her flats, then reached for the button of her jeans and watched as his eyes flashed with need as she popped the button. He seemed to be struggling to breathe as his chest heaved. She dipped her thumbs into her jeans, and ever so slowly, she pushed them down her hips and legs until they pooled at her ankles. She kicked off her pants, leaving herself in her matching underwear set. Evan’s eyes ran down her body, and she felt her core clench when his eyes met hers and she saw the devotion and need in them. AJ pressed her palms on the back of his neck and pulled his lips to hers.
His hands skimmed her bare skin, leaving small bursts of pleasure as he kissed her deeply. Her mind blanked as all she thought of was the pleasure.
Of his lips.
Of how he’d managed to rid her of her bra.
Of how she managed to remove his T-shirt from him with barely a break in their kiss.
Her panties joined their clothes on the floor as her breathing became labored.
Before she knew it, Evan had her on his bed, and he had discarded his jeans and boxer briefs. He was naked. And he was glorious with his defined muscles and broad shoulders. In a matter of seconds, Evan was on top of her, his erection pressing against her as her hands found his jaw. Just when she thought he’d kiss her, his eyes darted to her naked chest.
“You’re so beautiful, Alexandra,” he breathed as he lowered his mouth down to her breasts. When his tongue swiped at her nipple, a small sigh escaped her as her back bowed in desperation.
“Evan,” she managed to say between shaky breaths.
His lips wrapped around her taut nipple, sucking as his other hand skimmed down her stomach to her core. Evan’s fingers brushed against her clit, and she moaned.
He was touching her.
His fingers traced circles, causing her hips to buck, wanting, desperately needing more pressure to make those earthshattering sensations take her away. Evan alternated between sucking her nipple and spinning circles.
“Evan,” she pleaded. “Oh, my God … right there.”
Suddenly, his fingers stopped their blissful task between her thighs, and his mouth released her breast. She was just about to complain when she felt his breath on her core, and she shut her eyes, feeling the anticipation wrap around him. He parted her legs farther, exposing her to him. Then, in sheer relief, Evan licked her from entrance to top, swirling her clit with the tip of his tongue.
“Oh, God!” She gasped as her hands threaded through his hair and kept him trapped to her. She felt him smile as he continued to lick, and nip, and suck, and devour.
Her moans were loud.
His name left her lips as he brought her to the brink of euphoria.
And to her utter disappointment, he eased off her, and AJ opened her eyes to find him on his knees and his fingers wrapped around his erection. Evan pumped his hard length twice before he crawled back on top of her.
“I want to feel you as I make love to you,” he explained, and AJ swallowed back the lump in her throat.
Her breathing was rapid as her chest rose and fell heavily. She reached between them and brushed his hands away and took over, clutching his velvety smooth hardness in her palm. AJ guided him to her core and felt his tip slowly enter her.
They both let out sighs as her hands fell away, and Evan took over.
She let her legs spread farther apart, feeling him even deeper than before.
Inch after inch, he entered her until she was full.
The mild pain slowly ebbed away.
Evan Gilmore was inside her, and he let his weight fall onto her chest. And God, did she love the feel of his defined chest on her breasts. The feel of his strong, erratic heartbeats made her dizzy.
“Evan,” she begged, wanting him to move as the ache in her became unbearable. She knew he was allowing her to adjust, but she was desperate for him to pull out and enter her. For his hips to flex and to feel him jerk inside her when she made him come.
She needed so much more.
And his bright, glassy eyes meeting hers was the more she needed.
“I’ve never …” he began to say as AJ reached up and brushed his hair back.
Evan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he opened his eyes and pulled out a fraction before sliding back into her.
“Never wh—oooh,” she moaned.
His rhythm picked up as though he couldn’t bear to go slow anymore. Her pulse quickened as he entered her again and again; their skin covered in sweat as she raised her hips to meet his thrusts.
“Evan … o
h, my God, Evan,” she moaned as she dug her fingers into his ass cheeks, encouraging him to go faster and harder.
And he did.
He groaned.
He cursed.
His pubic bone hit her clit.
It was all too much.
Her orgasm snuck up and consumed her as her core clenched around him, and her gasps and moans echoed in his bedroom.
Nothing.
Nothing had ever felt so amazing.
Gave her such pleasure and escape.
Evan gripped her hips and thrust into her several more times before he moaned her name and how perfect she was before he came inside her.
His face dropped to her neck, and he mumbled, “Eight protons … eight neutrons.”
After they caught their breaths, they cleaned themselves up before they returned to bed. With AJ’s head on Evan’s naked chest, a sense of peace surrounded them. She loved it but was also skeptical of it. As if a storm was brewing somewhere in the glorious day they had found.
AJ blinked as she thought back to their lovemaking. He had said he’d never, but he didn’t finish explaining what he’d never done before. Curiosity had her tilting her head back to find him staring down at her, his fingers halting their soft brushes against her arm.
“Evan?”
“Yeah?”
She blinked at him and pressed her lips in a tight line to fight against her insecurity. “When you were making love to me …?”
His eyes flashed with interest. “Yes, Alexandra?”
AJ sat up, ignoring the fact she was still naked. It was too late. Evan Gilmore had seen her naked. He’d also made her orgasm and made love to her. They were long past the confines of their best friendship.
They were more even if they hadn’t confirmed it.
“What have you never? Because I know you had sex when you were sixteen. You never told me with who, but I know I’m not your first.”
Evan sat up and pressed his palm gently on her cheek. He appeared nervous. “She was just a girl at a party. I didn’t know her very well. She was visiting Boston for the summer. You weren’t my first. I’m sorry, Alexandra.”
The disappointment was felt in her chest.
It saddened her that she wasn’t.
That he was her first, and she wasn’t his.
But that was before you.
Before you fell in love.
When you were just his best friend.
“I understand.”
He shook his head. “Had I known what I would feel for you, I would have waited for you. For whenever you were ready. If I could go back, I would want you to be my first.”
Her heart clenched. Could have beens would continue to be never beens. She would never be Evan’s first, but she’d be his last if he’d let her.
If he loved her enough.
Trusted her enough.
Wanted her enough.
And more importantly, if he waited for her long enough.
“I know.”
His thumb stroked her cheek, his eyes never leaving hers. “I mean it, Alexandra. What I have with you means more than what I had with her or anyone else. It’s you. I just want you.”
“I believe you,” she said with a small smile. “So back to before … what have you never?”
A smile returned to his lips as if he couldn’t wait to answer her. “I’ve never had another girl in my bed before.”
Her eyes widened. “What?”
“You’re the only girl I’ve ever been with in this room … in this house.”
Her heart soared.
AJ had been the only one.
She was a first to him.
“Why?”
His thumb stroked her cheek as he leaned closer, his lips a whisper away from hers. “Because you slept in this bed when you were too exhausted from studying. Because you sat on this mattress when we studied together. Because no other girl has business being on my bed when you’ve been on it. No other girl has ever needed to step foot in the house you made a home when you were here. It’s always been you, Alexandra.”
“Evan,” she breathed. “That was—”
The sound of his phone ringing cut her off. AJ shut her mouth, but he shook his head at her. “Continue,” he insisted.
“It could be important. They’re calling really early, Evan.”
“You’re right,” he said as he kissed her cheek and then got off the bed. He walked over to his boxer briefs and slipped them on before returning to his nightstand. He unplugged his phone from the charger and answered the call. “Hello,” Evan greeted once he set the phone to his ear. “Oh, Coach, hello.”
AJ watched him nod his head and then he turned and offered her an apologetic smile. Her lips strained into a smile as she got out of bed. As Evan continued to talk to his Stanford baseball coach, AJ walked around his large bedroom. She picked up her clothes and began to put them on. When she was dressed, she returned to the bed and sat down on it, noticing the concerned expression on his face.
Something was wrong.
Not only could she see it on his face and the way his carefree posture stiffened, but she sensed it.
That peace and bliss they found together was about to be tested.
“I understand, Coach,” Evan said. He hung up, staring at his phone.
She gave him a minute.
A minute with his thoughts.
A minute to process.
It was as if he couldn’t look at her, and AJ knew it wasn’t good news.
She had to be the one to speak.
Whatever happened, she knew how true and right his love for her was.
There was no stopping her and Evan.
She was determined to make it work.
So she would be the brave one after having been the coward for so long.
“Evan,” she said in a low voice, knowing if she spoke any louder, he might hear a crack in her voice or, worse, the forming sob she was fighting back.
Finally, he turned and faced her. He gulped loudly, and she noticed his Adam’s apple bob. “Alexandra …”
“It’s okay,” she insisted as she reached out, and he took her hand. AJ pulled him down to sit on the bed with her. “I already know what you’re going to say. Just tell me.”
He nodded. “You know I love you.”
“I do,” she said with a smile on her lips. “I know you do, Evan.”
“And you love me, right?”
AJ released his hand, got on her knees, and pressed her fingertips to his jaw, ensuring that his brown eyes focused on her. “I love you, Evan Gilmore. So much. For so long. I love you.”
Hope flared in his eyes and relaxed his strained posture. “I have to take the first flight to San Francisco and go back to Stanford.”
She knew what he was going to say, but it didn’t weaken the blow or the shock.
“You have to go back to California already?”
For her to believe their time was up, she needed him to confirm it.
To accept that this was their lives, and that their bubble had burst.
Evan wrapped his fingers around her wrists. “A scandal just broke out and a senior on the team was arrested for rape. He’s been suspended due to the ongoing investigation, but Coach needs me back.”
“But you don’t want to go back?” she asked.
“Of course, I don’t want to go back. I thought I’d have a few more days where we could sort us out before you went back to Duke. I can tell Coach—”
“No,” she begged. “Don’t risk your scholarship for me, Evan. Go take a shower and I’ll book your flight to San Francisco, then drive you to Logan. We’ll figure it out.”
His forehead pressed against hers. “This isn’t fair.”
“I know,” she agreed as her thumbs brushed his
jaw. Then she pulled away and smiled at him. “You promised we’d meet back here for Thanksgiving. That’s less than a month away. We’ll call and text each other. We’ll still be together.”
“Promise?”
AJ exhaled a deep breath. “I promise. You found me, Evan. You showed me who I am. You did one thing I thought was impossible. You repaired me with your love, and I believe it’s true. Now, go shower.”
Evan leaned forward and kissed her. “I love you, Alexandra Louise Parker. I love you here. I love you there. I love you with over two thousand miles between us. I love you with all the oxygen in me. Eight protons …”
And for the first time ever, AJ finished by whispering, “Eight neutrons.”
“His flight leaves at eleven. It was the first direct one he could take out of Massachusetts. Even with the traffic into the city, we’ll get to Logan in time,” AJ said, reassuring her mother.
Her mother nodded. “But he was barely home.”
AJ spun around to find Evan and her father packing her Volkswagen. He’d packed an extra suitcase of clothes to take back with him to California after he’d given her his credit card to pay for his ticket and taken a shower. With his direct flight, Evan would make it in time for the baseball team’s talk with the dean and the board. The media had picked up on the case and released the names of those arrested. It wasn’t just one of his teammates; several others had also been arrested shortly after the call with his coach.
In a matter of hours, Stanford and Evan’s coach would make a public statement promising to expel the students if they were found guilty and confirm that an internal investigation with the ethics committee and the athletics board was underway.
“I know, Mum,” AJ said when she focused back on her.
The concern on her mother’s face was not the least bit reassuring, but AJ knew it was warranted given the situation. “And are you going to be okay?”
AJ bit the inside of her cheek, hoping to keep the truth to herself. The truth was, she feared what would happen once he landed. While Evan packed, she sat on his bed and watched him. When he felt her staring, he’d stopped shoving clothes into his suitcase, walked over to her, and kissed her stupid. All that fear melted away when he kissed her, giving her hope that everything between them would work out.
