by Len Webster
Alex unlocked her phone to see so many missed calls and texts from Landon. For a moment, she felt guilty.
But he lied to her.
He was the one who dismissed and hurt their relationship.
She hadn’t gone around doing interviews and claiming that Landon wasn’t her boyfriend.
“So what happened?” Savannah asked.
Sighing, Alex lifted her chin to see Savannah’s arched brow. She had spent the past hour straightening her long blond hair. Unlike Alex, Savannah Peters knew how to dress for a party. She was stunning without having to wear anything risqué. Savannah had a sex appeal she could pull off with ease whenever she needed—especially in the striking red halter dress she chose for tonight. As for Alex, she wore a tight emerald green dress that wasn’t as dazzling as her roommate’s. The frat party had been her roommate’s idea, and Alex wanted an excuse to go out and not have to worry about anything or anyone for a while.
She didn’t have the heart to confess to Savannah that Evan’s interview with ESPN yesterday had affected her.
The very interview where he told the world he still loved her.
In his way.
The only way she understood.
The only way that held meaning.
But Landon’s betrayal consumed her heart.
His ability to dismiss their relationship hurt her in ways no one else had.
After everything, she chose him.
She loved him.
But in an interview, he claimed they had no romance.
“Earth to Alex.”
She blinked at her roommate and then shook her head. “Sorry. Just blanked out for a second.”
“What’s going on with you and Landon? I’ve barely seen y’all together in weeks. Is everything okay?”
Alex sighed. “I don’t know, Sav. He’s kept things like NBA teams being interested in him a secret from me. He’s making decisions about his future that feel as if they don’t include me. That don’t include us.”
“Hey,” Savannah said in a soft voice. “He loves you, Alex.”
“Then why did he say in an interview that we’re just friends? That there’s no romance between us?”
Her roommate winced in shock. “What?”
“He did an interview while he was in LA and I was here planning his birthday surprises.”
“Alex, I can’t believe Landon would say that. I’ve never seen him be anything less than in love with you.”
Alex had to agree. That interview was poisoning her thoughts. “Honestly, I just want tonight to be about us having fun and not having to worry about the future. I just want to dance and not have to stress about anything.”
Savannah’s smile deepened. “That’s my girl. Okay, I’m going to finish up my makeup, and then we’ll leave.”
“Sure,” Alex said as Savannah rushed to their bathroom.
Once her roommate closed the bathroom door behind her, Alex unlocked her phone and opened Landon’s messages to read a few.
Landon: Alex, I can explain. I’m so sorry. Baby, that article means nothing. I love you. They twisted what I said.
Landon: I should have told you. I just didn’t want to hurt you. I was scared, Alex. I’m so sorry.
Landon: I love you. You’re not just my friend. You’re the girl I want to spend forever with. I’m sorry, Alex. Please, just answer my calls. I went to your dorm, and you weren’t there. Please, just let me explain.
She should call him back, but she knew he’d tear through her defenses if she heard his voice. It was safer if she texted him.
Alex: Landon, I can’t talk to you tonight. You completely disregarded our relationship. I fought for you. I chose you. I wanted an US. And then you lie to the world about your feelings for me? Do you understand how much that hurts me? When I chose you, I was all in. Forever. For the future. That article broke my heart. And right now, I don’t want to think about the future. I just want to have fun tonight with Sav.
Once she sent the message, she clenched her eyelids tightly together to stop herself from crying and ruining her makeup. When she felt her phone vibrate in her hands, she opened her eyes and read Landon’s reply.
Landon: I know I hurt you. It was clear in each word of your text. I read that article again, and I understand why you’re upset and hurt. I didn’t mean to do that to you. To us. I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. I love you. I don’t want to lose you. Can I see you?
Alex: We’re going to the Sigma Nu party. You can pick me up, and we’ll go back to yours to talk.
Landon: Okay. I’ll pick you up from the Sigma Nu frat house. Just please be careful tonight, Alex. I love you.
She stared at the I love you at the end of his message. It was the first time since before they started dating that she hadn’t reciprocated his words with her own.
But that had been before Landon doubted them.
Before he told the world they were just friends.
So Alex locked her phone and set it back on her desk, turning her attention back to finish her makeup so she could leave for the frat party.
The music blared as the strobe lights flashed in different directions.
The laughter, the dancing, and the amount of people who surrounded her and Savannah were intoxicating.
It had been so long since she felt this free.
“Here,” the frat guy who had been joined to her roommate’s hip said, handing Alex a red Solo cup.
“What is it?” Alex yelled above the loud music.
“Beer,” he replied.
Alex was already buzzed after two vodka Sprites, so adding beer would throw her off. Two was her happy medium because she didn’t want to get drunk tonight. Even though she was having a good time, she wanted to be aware. And being a lightweight meant she had to stick with two.
“Did you pour that?” Savannah asked.
The large, polo shirt wearing frat guy with the mole on his cheek glanced down at the beverage and then back at Alex and then Savannah. “No. One of my brothers did.”
Savannah took the red Solo cup from him and set it on the table to their left. “She’s not thirsty. Can you ask the DJ to play something more dance-able? This rock song is killing this party.”
“Sure, I’ll be back,” he said before he left them on the door floor.
“I don’t trust any drink that isn’t poured in front of me. Are you okay?” Savannah asked. “You wanna go?”
Alex brushed her brunette curls back behind her ear and shook her head. “I wanna stay for a bit. Plus, I have to wait for Landon.”
Savannah’s eyes widened. “Who is right on time.”
“Alex,” her boyfriend said behind her.
Her heart stretched at the sound of her name on his lips.
This whole not talking to him stance was stupid.
Being at a frat party without him was also stupid.
Her night of fun and freedom had her missing him.
And those two vodka Sprites had definitely been on the stronger side.
Alex spun around, almost tipping over in the process, but Landon caught her before she could fall flat on her face.
“You drunk, baby?” he asked with a hint of humor in his voice.
Giggling, Alex pulled her arms free from his hold and wrapped them around his neck. “Maybe a little? But you should know I did some thinking.”
Landon’s hands settled on her hips as she heard Savannah say, “I’m gonna go find out what happened to polo shirt guy. I’ll catch up with y’all later. Landon, keep her safe, all right?”
“You got it, Savannah.”
“Bye, Sav!” Alex said as she craned her neck to find the cautious expression on her roommate’s face. “Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” Savannah said before she disappeared into the crowd of people.
“Alex …” Landon’s voice had her turning her focus back on him.
He looked so sad.
It was as if he feared her right now.
“Landon,” she said in loud voice as the music lowered slightly.
His fingers pressed into her hips. “You said you did some thinking.”
“I did,” she confirmed.
His lips formed that smile she loved.
He was so beautiful.
On the dance floor in a frat house, she knew what she had to do.
What she had to say.
“I’m sorry, Landon.”
“You’re sorry?” He flinched in surprise.
Alex nodded. “Yes, I’m sorry. I overreacted. I just hated being the last to know that Phoenix was interested in you. And then I read that article and …”
“Hey,” her boyfriend said as his hands left her hips and cupped her jaw. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it, Alex. They twisted my words and wrote it out that way. If I had real interest in me, you’d be the first to know. I want you to be the first to know.”
Guilt swirled with the alcohol in her stomach, causing her to groan in sickness. She should have trusted her boyfriend. She shouldn’t have allowed her fear and insecurity to taint their relationship.
“I should have believed you and not that article. I’m so sorry, Landon.”
A soft smile spread across his lips, and for a moment, everything was okay and right. That future of them together was assured. And when Landon leaned down and pressed his lips against her forehead, that small act of intimacy was proof that there was romance between them. That lies had been written about them.
When he pulled away, he said, “I will never do that to us again. I will never allow another article to do that to you. To us. I was trying to protect you from the media, and I guess they just misinterpreted it.”
Horror consumed her.
Protect her from the media?
If anything, Alex should be the one protecting him from the media.
Pulling her arms from around his neck, she ended their contact as she shook her head in confusion. “What do you mean you were protecting me from the media? That doesn’t make sense, Landon.”
“I was protecting you from them,” he repeated.
“Protecting me from what? I’ve been in the media since I was a teenager. Since Kyle went pro with the Red Sox. I’ve had articles full of lies and vulgar written about me. Who are you really trying to protect?”
His face paled as his bright blue eyes shimmered in shame.
Then Landon Carmichael said the two words she had never expected to leave his lips. “My image.”
Bile rose up her throat.
His image. He only cared about protecting his image. Not hers. Not their relationship.
Because in the media’s eyes, there was no relationship between them.
There was no romance.
Just betrayal.
Alex took a startled step back. Those two words slapped her across the face, wounding her. It was as if he’d pulled the rug out from under her feet and left her to free fall into the abyss. “You were protecting your image?”
“Alex,” he whimpered, reaching out for her.
She increased the distance between them, bumping into someone else, not caring that they spilled their drink down her back.
“You were!” she yelled, seeing the truth in his guilt-ridden face. It was all she needed. Moments before, she felt awful for not trusting him, but now, she was foolish for not trusting herself. “Well, let me just leave you and this party. We don’t want your image to be affected by your crying girlfriend.”
Alex didn’t wait for him as she spun around and pushed past people to escape him and the party. She didn’t care that she saw him flinch because she hurt his feelings. She was in agony. He’d broken her into pieces. Pieces he had once repaired and now ruined into smaller fragments. With him, she thought the glue had set. That she was healed. Instead, he had used thin string to sew her up in all the wrong ways and in all the wrong places, leaving her worse than before.
“Alex!” Landon screamed.
She didn’t listen.
Not when she made it out of the frat house. And not when she began to walk toward her dorm.
“Alex, for God’s sake, just wait!”
She hated that she was in heels, causing her stride to wobble.
And hated that the throbbing in her head didn’t out pain the aches in her chest.
“AJ!” he shouted.
She stopped.
AJ.
He called her AJ.
The one name that never belonged on his lips.
The one name that never belonged to anyone but Evan Gilmore.
She spun around as hot tears ran down her face, and he quickened his steps toward her until he finally reached her.
“I knew that would stop—”
She slapped him hard across the face, ignoring the stinging sensation in her hand.
AJ.
He’d insulted her.
Insulted her heart and her love for him.
“What—?”
“I love you, Landon!” she cried.
He raised his palm to his cheek, soothing her assault. “Then why did you just slap me?”
She pointed at him. “Because you used the one name you have no right to use against me! How dare you call me that? That wasn’t yours to use. Not you! Especially not you. And not right now.”
“But you stopped. Stopped at his name for you.”
“This isn’t about him!”
His hand left his cheek as his shoulders tightened. “It’s always about him.”
Alex shook her head. “No,” she said, disappointed that he was using Evan as a scapegoat. “This time, it isn’t. This was about you. I don’t want to fight with you because I love you. And you hurt me. You talk about us as if there is no us.”
“There is an us, Alex.”
She blinked her tears away. “The Landon Carmichael who loves me, who fought for me, would never call me AJ. That right there, you calling me that, kills me because I know you meant it vindictively. To punish me. To hurt me for loving him first. Well, news flash, Landon, I’m in love with you. I chose you. And in that interview, you didn’t choose me.”
His head hung low in shame.
Alex spun back around, knowing that their fight would be put on pause.
Right now, she didn’t want to fight out in the open. She could already hear the whispers around them as people walked past them, and to her dismay, she still cared about his image.
And that meant she couldn’t expose the public to their fight.
Alex decided that her dorm was a better location for them.
To save them …
All Landon had to do was follow her back to her dorm …
And he did.
Nothing in her relationship with her boyfriend could have ever prepared her for this. Alex always believed she’d been a good girlfriend. She went to his games instead of returning home for the Red Sox. She made sacrifices for him. For them. She put up with his roommates and his family.
Alex gave him her heart.
Her love.
She trusted him.
Loved him.
The first time they ever slept together, she gave up a piece of her for their future. That night in Southport was a memory she’d never forget. That night, she had fallen even more in love with him.
With his touches.
With the way he looked at her.
And right now, the heartbreak and shame on his face wasn’t what she loved.
Right now, she didn’t love him.
Instead, she hated him and was disgusted in him for using Evan Gilmore against her.
For hurting her with her
past love when all she did was love him.
All she did was love Landon, and it wasn’t enough.
“Please say something,” he said from behind her.
Alex kept her eyes on the framed picture on her desk. It was of her and Landon after Duke won the NCAA Tournament last season. It had been amazing to be there and support him. To see his love for basketball.
It was all she had ever wanted.
For him to be happy.
She knew how good he was.
And Alex knew that once he graduated and went pro, they’d have to be apart for a while. But she had every intention to stay with him and believed they would work. She loved him. She had given up everything and turned her back on so many for him.
“Please, Alex,” he pleaded.
He had said those two words continuously on her walk back to her dorm room, remaining two steps behind.
She hadn’t said anything.
She let the heat in her chest enrage her.
She let her broken heart guide her.
She allowed herself to finally feel everything for the first time in months.
All the hurt.
All the pain.
All the tears.
All the memories.
She felt them all in a single moment.
Alex let out a sigh, ready to fight for him.
Ready to make Landon Carmichael see that she loved him—even if he doubted her.
She wanted him to see and feel her pain.
She wanted him to be sorry for calling her AJ.
He insulted her and her heart when he said the one nickname Evan had given her as a small girl. A nickname that only belonged to him.
It was his.
Only his.
When she finally faced Landon, she saw his tears. He was just as afraid as she was even though he was the one who led them here. They had never fought like this before.
It was too much.
The pain was horrifying.
They were at a standstill.
And she couldn’t predict the outcome.
