“I know.” She leaned into hug him, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.
“We’ll get through this,” he repeated, tightening his hold.
Although she wanted to believe him, Taylin wasn’t so sure.
Chapter 26
Luke exited his last patient’s room and headed toward his office. Anxiety gripped him around the middle, his throat feeling as if he’d just swallowed a golf ball that didn’t quite go down all the way. Thankfully, no one stopped him to talk. All morning long he’d dodged questions from coworkers about his ex-wife and the baby and he was done discussing it.
Reaching his office, he stepped inside and closed the door. Tapping on the screen of his smart phone, he opened the email he’d received a few minutes earlier, alerting him the test results were back. He took a seat at his desk and clicked on the link provided, bringing him to the login page of the hospital’s website for patients.
As he typed in his username and password, he debated about whether or not to text Taylin to see if she could join him. A small part of him needed her to be with him, but the other part couldn’t do that to her. He didn’t want to burden her any more than he already had. Besides, the floor was crazy busy, and he knew she’d just attended back-to-back deliveries and would be buried with admitting the new babies for the next few hours.
He could FaceTime his sister or his mother. They knew the results were supposed to be in today and had already texted him a couple of times that they wanted to know the outcome as soon as possible. While he wanted their support, he wasn’t sure what his reaction would be if the test was positive or negative. Either way was a game changer.
Deciding it was better to be alone, he tapped the done button and waited for the page to load. His stomach churned so violently, he thought he might throw up as he scanned the transcript. The words “is not excluded as the biological father” jumped out at him. He continued to read until his eyes zeroed in on the undeniable percentage of 99.999% that he was the baby’s father.
Crew was his.
So many emotions bombarded him, making his head spin as if he were in a dark room with a strobe light pulsating to the beat of loud rock music. Happiness that he had a child. Anger that he’d been kept from that child for nearly the first year of his life. Fear he wouldn’t be a good father. That, and many more thoughts flooded his mind until he felt like he was going to explode.
His phone buzzed with an incoming text from labor and delivery. His patient’s blood pressure had dropped and hadn’t responded to the standard treatment. Luke was grateful for the distraction. As he walked toward the patient’s room, he switched his focus to the problem at hand. Forty-five minutes later, he helped wheel the laboring woman into the operating room for an emergency C-section.
By the time Luke finished with his last patient, Taylin’s shift had ended two hours earlier. She had only texted him once, asking him to call her when he had a chance. His news was not something he could give over the phone. It needed to be in person. And he’d decided that Taylin was the first person he would tell. He felt bad about keeping his family in the dark, but they would be next. Vivian had also texted him several times. While she needed to eventually know the outcome, he wasn’t looking forward to the conversation that would follow. She liked being in control, and the demands and stipulations would probably start immediately.
Stopping at the nurse’s station, he waited for one of the nurses to look up at him. “Hey, I’m heading home, but I can be back here within fifteen minutes if you need me.” He was on call until six in the morning and really hoped he wouldn’t be called back in.
“Sounds good, Luke,” she said with a wave. “Have a nice evening.”
He took the stairs a little too fast and felt a sharp pain in his knee. Not wanting to cause any inflammation, he forced himself to slow down. It didn’t stop his thoughts from racing, though. He had no idea where to talk privately with Taylin. He couldn’t go home or to the Bradford’s. Christopher and Jillian had some kind of stomach bug that had both kids throwing up and spiking a temp every time the ibuprofen wore off. The second he was in his car, he texted Taylin. Just leaving the hospital. Can I come pick you up? He’d decided that they could drive to Mullis Park, which was nearby Taylin’s house, and talk in his car. It would be better than having Taylin’s parents overhear the conversation, and if things went bad, it would be a short ride back to her home.
Her response was immediate. Sure.
As soon as the message came through, he saw the three little dots appear, like she was typing more. Then they disappeared, but without another message from her. Rolling his shoulders back, he started the engine and headed toward the Nichols’ residence.
Luke tried not to speculate about what Taylin’s reaction would be, but everything about their relationship would be affected. Although they’d never specifically talked about getting married, there had been many conversations that implied they would. But would she still want to marry him, knowing she would be an instant stepmother? Then there was the whole location thing. Taylin was a Southern girl and loved Georgia. No matter how much she loved him, moving to Montana might be the deal breaker. And lastly, his ex-wife—Luke would never be free from Vivian now that they shared a son. If he married Taylin, she would also have to deal with his ex.
When he pulled into the driveway, his headlights illuminated Taylin sitting on the front porch. She got to her feet and started walking toward him. He climbed out of the car and made it to the passenger side the same time she did.
“Hey,” she said with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
His mouth was dry from nerves, but he managed to return the greeting. They stood there for a few awkward seconds before he opened the door for her. When he climbed in behind the wheel, he glanced over at her. “I thought we could go talk at the park, if that’s okay.”
“Sure.” She licked her lips and put her hand on the door handle. “But it’s a little chilly, so maybe I’ll run inside to get a jacket.”
“We can stay in the car.”
“Okay,” she said, letting go of the handle.
Silence prevailed during the short distance to the park. Since it was dark, and on the cooler side, the park was almost deserted. There were only two other cars parked, so Luke drove around to the other side before pulling into a space.
Shifting the gear in park, Luke thought about how to start the conversation. Part of him wanted to postpone the inevitable and ask her how her day was. Knowing he couldn’t do that, he turned toward her and rubbed his moist palms across the top of his pants.
“Just tell me,” she said the minute their eyes met.
She already knew what he was going to say. It was written all over her face. “It’s 99.999% I’m Crew’s biological father.”
Without saying a word, she closed her eyes and nodded her head. Luke let her alone, not exactly sure how to comfort her. He noticed a silent tear roll down her cheek. It made him feel like somebody had reached inside his chest and squeezed his heart.
“I’m sorry, Taylin.” His fingers curled into his palms so he didn’t reach out to take her hand. She might not want him to touch her right now.
She sniffed before meeting his gaze again. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” She gave him a watery smile. “You have a son, Luke. I’m happy for you.”
While her words were meant to comfort, they only made the fist around his heart tighten. She sounded so detached, like they were no longer a couple.
“Does Vivian know?” she asked before he could formulate a response.
The mention of his ex-wife sent a surprising surge of anger through him. She’d purposely kept Crew away from him. He’d already missed so much time with the little boy. Time he could never get back. “No, you’re the first person I’ve told.” Plus, keeping the results from Vivian for as long as possible made him feel a tiny bit better.
“So,” Taylin said, “where do we go from here?”
It was such a l
oaded question. There was no right or wrong answer. “Honestly, I don’t know.”
“Then maybe you should’ve told Vivian first.”
Her tone didn’t indicate any hostility, but the statement irritated him. “I didn’t want to talk to her first, I wanted to talk to you. I thought we were in a relationship, which I hoped meant we’d figure things out as a couple.”
“I understand, and I appreciate it, but how can we discuss our future when you haven’t worked out any of the details with Vivian?”
She was right, but the thought of Vivian having that kind of control over him made him angry all over again. “I am not letting my ex-wife tell me I can’t see you anymore.”
“Luke,” she said softly. “I’m not tryin’ to make you angry.” She reached across and took a hold of his hand. “I’m just tryin’ to be realistic.”
Her touch felt like a lifeline, and he gripped her hand tightly. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.” He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers. “I don’t want to lose you.”
He waited for her to tell him he wouldn’t lose her, but she didn’t. He lowered her hand and met her blue eyes. “We can work this out, Taylin.”
“I hope so, but there are a lot of variables, Luke.”
He could feel her pulling away from him. Not literally, but emotionally, and it made him feel helpless. His mind raced with thoughts, most of them negative, like maybe she didn’t really love him.
“Taylin, my feelings for you haven’t changed.” He lightly squeezed her fingers. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” She held his gaze for a few more moments before she tugged her hand free and pushed back a lock of hair behind her ear. “Hey, it’s late, and we’ve both had a long day, especially you. How about we talk again tomorrow?”
Luke’s gut tightened with disappointment, but knew he couldn’t force her to talk. “Okay.” He shifted the car into gear and backed out of the parking space. “Do you work tomorrow?” he asked as he pulled onto the road.
“Yes, but hopefully it won’t be as crazy as today was.”
Luke nodded his head and wondered to himself if his life would ever be calm again. “Yeah, today was pretty crazy.”
Within a couple of minutes, they arrived at Taylin’s house. Luke started to get out to open her door, but Taylin placed a restraining hand on his arm. “You don’t have to get out,” she said softly.
He was about to argue, but stopped when she leaned across the seat and kissed him briefly on the lips. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” she said, barely holding his gaze before she climbed out of the car.
Luke watched her until she slipped inside the front door. Backing out of the driveway, he drew in a deep breath. He hated what he had to do next, but talking to Vivian was unavoidable. During the ten-minute drive to his house, he called his mom and gave her the news. She was thrilled to have another grandchild, and, like Luke, was sad for the time they’d already missed with Crew.
“So what now, sweetheart?” his mom asked.
“Taylin already asked me that, and my answer is still the same.” His fingers tightened around the steering wheel. “I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry, honey. Are you two going to be okay?”
The muscles in Luke’s neck tensed. “Not sure.” He told his mom about Taylin’s reaction, hoping he hadn’t already lost her.
“Give her time, Luke. If she loves you, then it will all work out.”
“I hope so.” But time was something Luke had missed with his son. He was desperate to make up for it.
They talked a little more about the possibility of him moving back to Montana. It really depended on whether or not the hospital would let him transfer again. He couldn’t even take into consideration what Taylin would do if he moved back home. Long distance relationships were hard enough without throwing in an ex-wife and a child into the mix.
“I’m home, Mom,” he said, as he waited for the garage door to lift. “Will you please let Diane know and tell her that I’ll talk to her later?”
“Sure. And Luke?”
“Yeah?”
“I can arrange for a substitute teacher if you need me to come down to help, okay?”
Although he was old enough to handle things on his own, it was still nice to have a mom he could rely on. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll let you know.”
He ended the call and slowly climbed out of his car. Rolling back his shoulders, he opened the door and stepped inside his house. Vivian stood at the kitchen sink, holding Crew in one arm while making him a bottle with her other hand.
“Could you hold him while I finish?” she asked, sounding a little impatient.
He hesitated for a moment as the realization he was really Crew’s father hit him. Knowing this little boy belonged to him scared him a little.
“Please, Luke?” she asked. “I’ve had him all day without a break, and I just barely got him to stop crying.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked, quickly crossing the floor.
“He’s either teething or he has an ear infection.”
Luke took the little boy from Vivian, noticing a few tears clinging to Crew’s long lashes. “Has he had a fever?” he asked as he touched the child’s forehead with the back of his hand.
“No, just very cranky and he keeps pulling at his left ear.”
Crew’s skin felt cool and dry, both good signs he wasn’t fevering. “I have an otoscope and can take a look at his ears.”
“That would be great.” Vivian turned off the water and added three scoops of formula to the bottle. “I don’t want to go to urgent care unless I need to.”
Crew spit out his pacifier when he saw his mother shaking the bottle. He held out his hands and started to cry. Vivian took the baby and he quieted the moment she gave him the bottle.
“I’ll be right back.” Luke went into his bedroom and opened the closet doors. He pulled the first aid backpack from the top shelf and placed it on the bed. After searching through a couple of pockets, he found the otoscope.
Crew hadn’t quite finished his bottle, and Luke hoped the little boy would stay still long enough for him to get a good look at his eardrum. Kneeling down, he turned on the light and lightly touched the baby’s ear. Crew paused for a minute and turned to look at Luke. “It’s okay buddy,” Luke said. “Daddy needs to look at your ear.”
“Daddy?” Vivian asked just as Luke realized what he’d said. “You got the test results back?”
Lifting his eyes, he met Vivian’s gaze. The look of surprise on her face made him wonder if she hadn’t been as sure about Crew’s paternity as she’d made Luke think. “Yes, but you seem shocked I’m the father.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not shocked.”
Not wanting to start a fight by asking about what other guy had been in the running for Crew’s father, Luke went back to his task and gently slipped the tip of the otoscope in the baby’s ear. Leaning in close, he peered through the lens and adjusted the angle until the eardrum came into view. “No ear infection,” he said, straightening up. “Can you turn him around so I can look at the other side?”
Without saying a word, she switched Crew to her other arm. Luke repeated the process, grateful the little boy was so cooperative. “This one looks good too.”
“Great.” She took the bottle away and gave Crew his pacifier before standing up. “I’m going to put him down for the night.” She smirked. “Do you want to help, Daddy?”
Now Luke was the shocked one. He’d expected her to be mad at him for his earlier comment about not being sure.
“Well?” she said, patting Crew on his back.
“Sure.” He followed her into the bedroom, baffled by her non-confrontational behavior.
He observed the process more than helped. Crew only whined a little when Vivian laid him down in the portable crib. He was such a good kid, even when he didn’t feel good.
“It’s not always that easy,” Vivian whispered as they left the room. “He just wore himself
out crying before you got home.”
“Will he sleep through the night?” He suddenly wanted to learn everything he could about Crew. After all, he would be on his own when it was his turn to have Crew.
“Probably, but once the medication wears off, he might wake up.” She glanced over at him and smiled. “If you stick around here tonight, you can get firsthand experience.”
Luke ignored the invitation, but truthfully, he didn’t want to go over to the Bradford’s and bring back whatever bug they had to Crew. “Does he take a bottle if he wakes up?”
“Usually, but it really depends on the time. He’ll want one if it’s closer to morning.” She sat down on the loveseat. “So,” she said with a smile, “you’re Crew’s daddy.”
She was irritatingly normal right now. It disarmed him, stealing some of his pent up anger. “Yeah, I’m still trying to wrap my mind around it.” Running a hand through his hair, he took a seat on the chair across from the loveseat. He knew they needed to discuss the future, but first he needed one question answered by Vivian. “Did you know all along I was the father?”
“No.” Her eyes narrowed. “We were only together that one time, so I was sure Neil was the father.”
Luke wasn’t sure he believed her, but didn’t see a point in pressing the issue to find out how many times she’d been with Neil, or if there had been another man. “So, when did you know he wasn’t?”
“Neil isn’t really cut out to be a father.” She moistened her lips. “He’d been questioning his paternity from the beginning. A month ago he decided to find out once and for all and was tested.”
“And it took you a month to decide to tell me?”
“Basically, yes.” She lifted one shoulder up in a shrug. “I planned on telling you, I just didn’t know how to do it. Seeing you on the news was the catalyst I needed.” She placed a hand over her heart. “I couldn’t live with myself if you’d died not knowing Crew was yours.”
It always came back to Vivian. “Glad you won’t have to live with that guilt,” he said sarcastically.
She rolled her eyes again. “I know you’re mad at me. Honestly, I don’t blame you, but don’t you think it’s time we worked things out between us? We could have so much more than sharing joint custody.”
Just a Kiss in the Moonlight: Georgia Moon Romance Book 2 Page 26
