by Amy Clipston
“Maybe you and Susie need a new beginning.” Timothy brightened. “You can come back here and start over. That would cheer you up a bit and help you move on.”
“It’s not that easy. I also feel guilty about moving on with my life. How is it fair that I can move on, but Barbara can’t?”
Timothy was silent for a moment. “What’s keeping you in Ohio? What do you have there?”
“Susie has a few of Barbara’s cousins that we see occasionally,” Caleb said. “That seems to be the right reason to stay. But to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure why we are stuck in the same old routine. I guess it’s easy because I don’t have to think about it. I just continue through the daily grind. The reminders of Barbara all over the house are painful, but I try to let go of my emotions and just remain distant. It’s the only way I know to cope with it all for Susie’s sake.”
“So you’re the shell of the man you once were?” Timothy shook his head. “That’s sad.”
Caleb paused, touching his beard while considering Timothy’s words. He knew his friend was right, but he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He needed to change the subject. “I’d rather hear about your life, Timothy. When do I get to meet your future fraa?”
Timothy jammed a thumb toward the door. “Miriam is here. She was talking with my sisters earlier.”
“How’d you meet her?”
Timothy shook his head. “It’s a long story. We met at a singing.”
“A singing?” Caleb sat up straight on the bench. “Your district has singings for folks our age? I definitely need to move back home.”
“Ha, ha,” Timothy muttered, his voice seeping sarcasm. “That’s not what I meant. We met when we were younger, and then we parted ways. Miriam moved to Indiana for a few years and then came back last year. We worked things out, and now we’re finally on the right path. I guess God needed us to grow up a bit before we were ready to get married.”
“That may be so.” Is that why God took Barbara from me? Is there a lesson I need to learn before I find happiness again? Caleb stared out at the small snowflakes beginning to fall from the sky while the thoughts floated through his mind. “We may have a white Christmas,” he finally said.
“Ya,” Timothy said. “It’s supposed to snow a few times before Christmas Eve.”
Caleb wanted to ask Timothy about Naomi. However, he didn’t want to make it sound like he was interested in her. He didn’t even know her, but he found her so intriguing. There was something about her, something subtle that he couldn’t put into words. She was nothing like the women back in Ohio that Barbara’s cousin had tried to push him to get to know.
“You should come by the furniture store,” Timothy said, rubbing his hands together. “We rebuilt it after the fire, and it looks a bit different. It’s a little bigger. We’ve been really busy this year. My daed hired a few more carpenters.”
“I’m glad business is gut. I’d heard about the fire,” Caleb said. “I’m sorry about Peter.”
“Ya, that was a tragedy.” Timothy frowned. “Much like what happened …” His words trailed off, but Caleb knew he was speaking of Barbara.
Caleb didn’t want to talk about the accident now and run the risk of getting emotional. “On the way in yesterday, Susie and I stopped at the farmers market, and she spoke to a woman at a quilt stand.” He gestured toward the door. “The woman was here today. Her name is Naomi, and Susie has really taken to her. Do you know her?”
Timothy smiled. “Ya, you could say I know her.”
Curious, Caleb raised an eyebrow. For some reason, he’d hoped the rumors Sadie had shared weren’t true.
“I feel bad because I sort of broke her heart.” Timothy shook his head. “You won’t be proud of me, bruder.”
“I’m certain it’s nothing that you should be ashamed of, Timothy,” Caleb said, hoping he wasn’t going to regret asking about her.
“I guess you could say I led her on.” Timothy stared off toward the falling snow. “We courted for a while, and I guess I sort of used her to get my mind off Miriam when Miriam came back into town. I feel terrible about it. I was going to keep my word and stay with Naomi, but she set me free, saying she knew I loved Miriam and not her. Naomi seems so sad now. I feel bad about it, but I couldn’t live a lie either. If I had married Naomi, we would’ve wound up resenting each other.”
Caleb nodded, letting the words sink in. As usual, Sadie had it wrong. From what Timothy had described, Naomi wasn’t a desperate woman; she’d simply had her heart broken.
“But Naomi is a real nice maedel. We’re still friends.” Timothy hugged his coat to his chest. “It’s cold, ya?”
“It is December,” Caleb said. “What did you expect — a heat wave?”
Timothy chuckled. “I’m glad to see you’re still a wise guy.”
The door opened and banged shut, and Robert stepped out. “It’s cold out here. How can you sit out here and talk?”
“We can hear our thoughts out here, unlike in there,” Timothy said with a smile.
Robert chuckled. “Ya, the women and kinner are loud.”
He looked toward the road. “I guess we better get going. The animals will be hungry.” He stepped back toward the door. “I’ll gather everyone up.”
Timothy stood. “We’ll get the buggies hitched.”
Caleb followed him to the barn. “It was gut visiting with you.”
“You should come by the shop and see me this week,” Timothy said as he opened the barn door.
“Ya, I will.” Caleb led Robert’s horse from the stall.
“You really should think about moving back here,” Timothy repeated, leading his horse out of the barn. “I know you could get a job building buggies here, or you could even start your own business. I’m certain you could get a loan and find some land.” Timothy snapped his fingers. “In fact, there’s some land with a big shop for sale by the furniture store. If you’d like, I could contact the owner and tell him —”
“Whoa!” Caleb held his hand up to silence his friend. “Slow down, Timothy. I just arrived yesterday, and I didn’t come with the intention of moving back.”
Timothy grinned. “I know you didn’t come with that intention, but you could leave with it.”
“Timothy!” a woman’s voice called. “Are we leaving? It’s getting late.”
“Caleb,” Timothy said with a sweeping gesture as the brunette approached. “This is Miriam Lapp. Miriam, this is Caleb Schmucker, my best friend from boyhood. He’s visiting from Ohio for Christmas.”
Caleb shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too,” she said with a smile. “I met your daughter, Susie. She’s a cutie.”
“Danki.” Caleb hitched Robert’s horse to the buggy while Timothy hitched his. “I guess I’ll see you again,” he said, climbing into the buggy seat.
“Ya,” Timothy said. “I expect to see you.”
“You will.” Caleb drove the buggy up to the porch, and Robert, Sadie, and the children piled in. As he steered onto the main road and headed toward their house, the children chattered about the upcoming school Christmas program.
He smiled as they talked, their voices filled with excitement, and he watched the snowflakes pelt the windshield. His thoughts turned to Naomi and Timothy’s story of how he broke her heart. He longed to talk to Naomi, to get to know her. But why? Why should he think of this woman when he was only going to be in town a short while?
Unless he took Timothy’s advice and stayed …
He pushed the thoughts away as the horse clip-clopped down the road. He would only concentrate on spending time with his family. That was all that mattered. His family would get him through the second anniversary of Barbara’s death. He needed them now.
CHAPTER 5
Why do I have to go?” Naomi asked as she placed more cookies into the five-gallon bucket at her feet. “You can take my sisters and then bring them back when it’s over.”
Lilly tapped her fi
nger on the counter with impatience. “Naomi, we discussed this. You’re expected to be at this cookie exchange.”
“No, I’m not.” Naomi continued to drop cookies into the bucket. “I don’t belong there. Sarah Rose and Miriam will both be there for sure. It’s going to be at the Kauffmans’ bakery, so it’s a Kauffman event.”
“So?” Lilly threw up her hands. “You’re a friend of the Kauffman family.”
“But you were invited, not me,” Naomi said, dropping the last of the sugar cookies into the bucket, filling it to the brim. “You’re Miriam’s sister. I’m just an ex-fiancée. You can’t get much more awkward than that.”
Lilly swiped an extra cookie from the counter. “You’re the only one who thinks it’s awkward. My sister happens to like you, and all the Kauffman sisters talk to you every time they see you. The only awkwardness is what you perceive in your head.” She bit the cookie and moaned. “These cookies are delicious. You really outdid yourself.”
“Danki,” Naomi muttered.
“You really need to get over this idea that the Kauffmans don’t like you. It’s simply not true,” Lilly said, lowering herself into a kitchen chair. “My sister is going to be a Kauffman, so that makes me a Kauffman by default. You’re my best friend, so you’re going to have to hang out with me and the Kauffmans.”
“You could never understand how I feel,” Naomi’s voice quavered as she swept the crumbs from the counter into the palm of her hand. “Every time I see them, I think of how I made a fool of myself. It’s hard to relive it over and over again.”
“You didn’t make a fool of yourself,” Lilly said. “You were just immature.”
Naomi nodded. “I know. I pursued Luke in a very unladylike way by running after him and bringing him lunch all the time. I never should’ve chased after him.”
Lilly gave a sad smile. “You didn’t realize you were doing that. You thought you were in love with Luke, but it was really a crush. On the other hand, you didn’t pursue Timothy. He courted you.” She pointed to Naomi for emphasis. “He proposed to you and then changed his mind, breaking your heart in the process.”
“That’s true,” Naomi began, “but I think I went about it all the wrong way with both of them. I was so eager, and I was trying to make my future happen instead of waiting for God’s plan.” She sniffed.
“Ach.” Lilly stood and touched Naomi’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It’s okay.” Naomi wiped away her threatening tears and shook her head.
“The Kauffmans are members of your church district,” Lilly said softly. “You can’t avoid them unless you stop going to church.”
Naomi leaned against the counter and swiped a cookie from the bucket. “Sometimes I dream of marrying someone from another district, so I don’t have to see them every other Sunday. Is that gegisch?”
Lilly snorted. “Ya, it’s gegisch. How can you marry someone from another district if you don’t visit other districts? Do you think an eligible bachelor will fall from heaven and transport you into another church district?”
Naomi glowered.
“I’m sorry.” Lilly smiled. “Naomi, I’m just trying to tell you that you have every right to go to this cookie exchange. The Kauffmans like you, and they want you there. How will it look if I show up with your sisters and you’re absent?”
“Tell them I’m ill.” Naomi bit into the cookie. “These cookies aren’t half bad.”
“It would be a lie if I told them you’re ill, and lying is a sin. I’m not going to knowingly sin this close to Christmas.” Lilly crossed the kitchen to the doorway heading into the family room. “Lizzie Anne! Levina! Sylvia!” She bellowed each of Naomi’s sisters’ names.
The girls raced into the kitchen, chattering all at once.
“Lilly!” Lizzie Anne, who was fifteen, hugged her. “Wie geht’s?”
“Is it time to go yet?” Sylvia, who was eight, whined. “I want cookies!”
“We’re going to be late!” Levina, who was ten, pulled on her wrap and bonnet and headed out the door, announcing she was ready to go.
Lilly shot Naomi a smile. “Are you ready?”
“No,” Naomi muttered. She snatched her wrap from the peg by the door and moved to the doorway, where she spotted her mother sitting in her favorite chair quilting. “We’re leaving,” she told her mother.
“Have fun,” her mother said with a smile.
“Ya.” Naomi crossed the kitchen and grabbed the bucket of cookies. She instructed Lizzie Anne and Sylvia to carry the two covered dishes to the buggy. “Elam should have the buggy waiting for us. Daed told him to hook it up earlier.”
“Your mamm’s not coming?” Lilly asked as she tied her bonnet under her chin.
“No,” Naomi said, heading for the door. “She has some last-minute quilts to finish. They’re Christmas orders that an English customer is going to pick up later in the week. We’re going to have a quilting bee at Sadie’s on Wednesday to finish them up.” She sighed as her sisters rushed out the door. “Let’s get this over and done with.”
“Naomi,” Lilly began with a condescending smile. “It’s Christmas. Get in the Christmas spirit.”
Naomi rolled her eyes. “I can’t wait until this Christmas season is over and we can get back to our normal lives.”
Lilly’s smile faded. “You don’t mean that.”
Frowning, Naomi placed the bucket on the counter. “No, I don’t mean it, really. The kinner are excited.” Her eyes filled with tears, and she suddenly felt like a heel. “I’m very blessed. I have a wunderbaar family and freinden like you. But sometimes I feel selfish and wish I had someone special to share the holidays with.” Clearing her throat, she lifted the bucket. “But that’s a selfish and gegisch thing to say. Let’s go.”
“No, it’s okay.” Lilly touched Naomi’s arm. “You’ll find your special someone.”
“Naomi!” Sylvia’s voice shrieked. “It’s cold out here!”
Shaking her head, Naomi headed for the door. She hoped the cookie exchange would be quick and painless.
With her sisters laughing and chattering in the back, Naomi guided the horse as the buggy bounced along the road leading to the Kauffman Amish Bakery. The terrain was hilly, and the roads were winding and rural. Soon she spotted the Kauffman farm with a cluster of large houses set back off the road and surrounded by four barns, along with a large pasture dotted with snow.
The property was owned by Elizabeth and Eli Kauffman, Timothy’s parents, and included their house, Timothy’s house, and Sarah and Luke Troyer’s house. The bakery was the fourth house, the one closest to the road. Timothy and his five siblings had grown up in the biggest house, where his parents still lived.
Naomi steered into the parking lot and brought it to a stop by a row of buggies. A tall sign with Kauffman Amish Bakery in old-fashioned letters hung above the door of the large, white clapboard farmhouse with the sweeping wraparound porch.
Out behind the building was a fenced-in play area, and beyond that was an enclosed field. The three other large farmhouses and four barns were set back beyond the pasture. The dirt road leading to the other homes was roped off with a sign declaring: Private Property — No Trespassing. A large paved parking lot sat adjacent to the bakery.
“Cookies!” Sylvia yelled, trotting toward the steps.
“Yay!” Levina chimed in.
“Wait!” Lizzie Anne called. “You can carry something.” She pulled the covered dishes from the back of the buggy. “Here. Take these.”
The girls took the serving platters and hurried toward the bakery.
“Slow down!” Lizzie Anne called. Shaking her head, she hefted the bucket up from the buggy floor.
“Danki,” Naomi said while she and Lilly unhitched the horse. “You take the empty buckets, and I’ll bring the cookies.”
Lizzie Anne started toward the door, carrying the empty buckets that they would fill with cookies. “I’m going to see if Lindsay is here.”
While Lilly led the horse to the pasture to join the other horses, Naomi grabbed the bucket of cookies and started toward the stairs. A sign on the door said: Bakery Closed at 4 p.m. for Private Party.
Lilly fell in step beside her. “Smile, Naomi,” she said as they approached the door. “It’s Christmas.”
Plastering a smile on her face, Naomi yanked the door open and stepped into the bakery. The room was rearranged with a long line of tables placed in the center of the room with piles of cookies lined up from one end to the other. The counter was filled with a variety of covered dishes, which Naomi assumed were desserts other than cookies. Women and girls of all ages were gathered around the table chatting. Naomi inhaled the delicious scents of cookies, cakes, breads, and casseroles.
“Naomi!” Susie yelled as she ran over and reached for the bucket. “Can I help you?”
Naomi couldn’t stop the smile forming on her lips. “Hello, Susie.” She handed the little girl the bucket. “Are you certain you can lift this? It’s sort of heavy.”
“I got it.” Susie huffed and puffed, but she couldn’t lift it.
Grinning, Naomi grabbed the handle. “Let me help you.”
“That’s a good idea. We’ll work together.” Susie put her little hand on the handle next to Naomi’s, and they lifted together. Walking slowly, they moved to the table.
“On three, we’ll lift the bucket onto the table,” Naomi said. “One, two, three!”
They hefted the bucket onto an empty spot on the table and began to carefully remove the cookies.
“Teamwork,” Susie said with a smile.
Elizabeth Kauffman stepped to the center of the room and clapped her hands. “Hello everyone!” she said. “I’m so glad you all could come to our cookie exchange. I’m sure you all remember the rules. We’ll file around the table and fill our buckets until all of the cookies are gone.” She motioned toward the counter behind her. “And then we’ll enjoy our delicious desserts. Frehlicher Grischtdaag!”
