by Jaye Diane
She looked up at him from her seat, guilt warring with the need to protect herself. He put a hand on each side of her face and her heart immediately began to pound in her chest.
“I know I screwed up,” Devin said solemnly. “But you can't hold that against me forever.”
“I just want to be friends now,” She choked out.
“No, you don't,” Devin said seriously. “It was too good between us. I know you want that back as much as I do.”
She was too stunned to speak.
He bent down and placed a chaste kiss on her lips, causing a chill to run down her spine. He straightened and smiled.
“I'll see you tomorrow.”
Robyn sat still as a statue as he walked out of the kitchen. A few moments later, she heard her apartment door shut with a small bang. She put her head down on her arms on the table, fighting the feelings of hope and despair. It was hard enough fighting all the feelings that she had for Devin. But it was going to be even harder fighting the so-called feelings that he had for her. And even worse, how was she going to fight when deep inside she didn't even want to anymore?
Devin hung up the phone, the sound of Casey's sobs still ringing in his ears. He'd called her earlier to curse her out for what she'd done and she'd practically begged to see him, which he'd reluctantly agreed to. But Robyn had been right. There was no reason to see Casey. They were no longer friends. The past couldn't be undone, couldn't be repaired. Which he'd told Casey just now on the phone. She'd begged him to see her, wailing uncharacteristically, before turning cold and telling him that he was stupid to be with Robyn in the first place, and then wailing again, asking for his forgiveness. That's when he'd hung up the phone. There was nothing else to say.
He knew it would be awkward at work but he'd cross that bridge when he came to it. And hopefully Casey valued her job enough not to cross any lines at work.
The woman he was really worried about was Robyn. She was afraid of him. He'd seen it in her eyes. He knew she wasn't physically afraid of him. But she was scared of a relationship with him. And that hurt him to the core. He'd have to work very hard to win her back and he was determined to do it. He had to remember his plan to gently and slowly become close to her again. He wouldn't force it. He knew he had a lot to make up for. It wouldn't be easy but he knew in his heart that he'd do it eventually, because he knew he and Robyn were meant to be together.
He called one of his favorite restaurants, ordering dinner to be delivered later, before going to his gym to work out. He spent two hours boxing and weight training, pressing weights until his body was completely devoid of energy. After taking a quick shower, he settled on his couch and put a movie on, waiting for his food to arrive. He felt lonely but also full of hope. He knew he just had to be patient and sooner or later, he'd really have her back.
Robyn had just twisted the lid off of the peanut butter jar when her bell rang. Frowning, she looked at the clock. It was after seven and she didn't want any company. She wanted to eat in peace. She was so hungry, she was starting to feel queasy.
“Who is it?” She said into the intercom.
“Delivery from La Cocina Familiar,” Came a deep voice.
“I didn't order any food,” Robyn said suspiciously, knowing very well that the restaurant didn't even deliver. It was an elegant eat-in only establishment. She'd been there with Devin on a couple of dates. The food had been a little pricey but delicious.
“I know you didn't, ma'am,” the reply was swift yet polite. “The order was placed by a...Devin Jamison. It's already been paid for.”
She was instantly touched and relieved that it wasn't some crazy stranger trying to get into her building. She buzzed the delivery guy in, wondering how much Devin had had to pay to get them to deliver. She only hoped whatever he'd chosen wouldn't make her sick.
She opened the door to her apartment as the delivery guy approached, carrying two plastic bags full of takeout containers. He was a middle aged man and he wore a warm smile. She thanked him, taking the bags, and tried to tip him, which he refused, insisting that he'd already been tipped.
After Robyn bid him goodnight, she closed the door, her stomach growling. From the looks of the two bags, Devin had sent her enough food for at least half a dozen people. She went to the kitchen and took out the containers, cautiously opening them, afraid to upset her stomach.
There were three kinds of chicken, broiled, grilled and stewed. There were roasted potatoes, baked potatoes, white rice, yellow rice, corn on the cob, steamed broccoli, and mixed vegetables. There was also a huge container of sorbet, which she hurriedly put into the freezer. Looking at all the food, she could tell that they were lightly seasoned and marveled at Devin's thoughtfulness.
She almost called him to say thank you but didn't want to risk talking to him. She was much too emotional, knowing that he'd thought about her and had gone to such measures to make sure she had a good dinner.
She sniffled, settling on a short but simple text message before tucking into her dinner. She felt calm as she ate, enjoying some of the grilled chicken and white rice with veggies. She felt calm as she and Devin exchanged a few messages. She even felt calm when she took her shower. But once she lay in her bed in her dark bedroom, the tears instantly flowed. And she didn't bother trying to fight them.
Chapter Eleven
Robyn nervously looked through her closets and drawers for something to wear, wanting to look sexy but not overdoing it. She didn't want to look desperate. Devin was already in her kitchen with breakfast and although she would never admit it to anyone, she wanted to look good for him.
She'd been in the midst of her morning sickness when he'd rang the bell. She'd had no choice but to make him wait as she finished emptying her stomach and rinsed her mouth. The worry that had been in his eyes when she'd opened the door had caused her heart to ache. Once she'd assured him that she was fine, she'd rushed to brush her teeth and take a shower. She was starving now and she wondered what Devin had in the enormous takeout bag that he'd brought.
She finally settled on a pink three-quarter-sleeve chiffon top and a white A-line jersey skirt, which fell right below her knees. She completed her ensemble with her favorite moc flats, which were white with a small, sparkling silver bow on top. She decided to leave her hair out, realizing that it had grown significantly in the past few weeks. She almost put lip gloss on but thought that was a little too much for a breakfast date in her kitchen.
A date? Her heart jumped as she walked out of her bedroom. Is that what this was? She didn't have any answers and she forced herself to think of something else. Her growling stomach was an immediate distraction as she walked into the small kitchen.
Devin threw the fresh cinnamon rolls into the garbage once he realized that the scent was bothering her. They then proceeded to eat breakfast. He'd brought a variety of eggs and rolls, and she'd chosen to eat egg whites on a wheat roll. She passed on any meat. The scents of the bacon and sausage were unappealing but she didn't want to ruin his breakfast by having him throw them away so she didn't mention it.
“So what would you like to do today?” He asked after they'd been eating for a few minutes.
She shrugged, keeping her eyes down on her food so she wouldn't have to see how good he looked in his long-sleeved, gray polo shirt. The fabric was molded to his body and she could make out each and every muscle. Every time she looked at him, she wanted to touch him that much more.
“I don't really want to do anything,” She heard herself say.
“And I don't want to do anything but spend the day with you.” His voice was warm and inviting.
Her head snapped up and he winked at her.
“It doesn't matter to me, we can just stay here all day and watch movies or try one of my new games.”
She'd gotten a sneak peak of one of his company's games before the game had shipped and it had been fun, even though she'd never really been into video games.
“Movies it is,” She said, a thrill coursing
through her entire body. She knew she shouldn't be so happy that she'd be spending the whole day with Devin. And yet she was. She was downright joyous.
After they finished breakfast, she washed the few dishes that they'd used while he cleared away the breakfast debris. It was so bittersweet to be in her kitchen with him. They'd been like this so many times before, working together in quiet domestic comfort. She bit her lip and hurriedly washed her hands.
Devin sat down at the table to finish drinking his coffee while she put the kettle on to make herself some tea.
“What is that?” Devin asked when she took the pink box of tea bags from the cabinet.
“It's a special tea for pregnant women.” Robyn took one of the tea bags and placed it in her mug, adding a teaspoon of sugar.
Devin held out his hand for the box and she gave it to him, grinning as he examined and read everything on the box.
“Damn, I didn't even know this existed. I have to get up on my research.”
She giggled, touched and amused.
“What else do you have in here that's just for pregnant women?”
“Not much.”
He raised his eyebrows, still waiting for an answer.
“Just the tea and prenatal vitamins. Everything else I use is normal.”
“Well I'm going to stock up on this tea for you.”
“You don't have to do that,” She rushed to say.
“I know I don't have to. I want to.” His smile was so sexy that it sent more chills through her body.
After she'd poured her tea, they went to the living room. Devin turned on the television and looked for a movie to stream. She kicked off her shoes and tucked her legs under her, carefully arranging her skirt around her legs.
“The Proposal?” She grinned at his movie choice and shook her head. “You know you don't want to watch some romance.”
“True but I know this is one of your favorite movies.” He shrugged his broad shoulders.
“You can pick the first movie,” Robyn said, a happy smile on her face. “I'll pick the second one.”
“Deal,” He said, shutting off the opening sequence and scrolling through the movie list again.
Her cell phone rang and she looked at the Caller ID. Mom.
“Hi, Mom,” She said, infusing false cheer into her tone when in reality, her mother's call was an unwanted reality check.
“How are you feeling this morning?” Marjorie asked. “I wish you'd just stayed here until New Year's.”
“I'm good, Mom,” Robyn replied. “And I told you, I'll be back before New Year's Eve so we can spend more time together.”
“Still...I don't like it that you're dealing with that awful morning sickness alone.”
“I've been okay all this time,” Robyn said, rolling her eyes and looking at Devin. He was looking at the TV. He'd just chosen the Avengers.
“But if you could have a few days with some help, why not take it?”
“I'm fine,” Robyn said, gritting her teeth. “I'd rather not have anyone hovering over me while I'm puking. It's embarrassing.”
“You shouldn't be embarrassed. It's a natural part of pregnancy.”
“See how we feel completely different about it? It's a good thing I came home.”
“What do you mean by that?” Her mother demanded.
“Nothing,” Robyn replied quickly. “So what are you doing today?”
“I've been cleaning since six. Now that everyone has gone, I've been going over all the guest rooms.”
“Sounds exhausting.”
“Well you know we gave Carol two weeks off for the holidays, so most of the cleaning is up to me. Your father's going to help later.”
She felt Devin's eyes on her but this time she was the one looking at the TV.
“I want to go shopping for some baby stuff,” Marjorie went on, “They have so many great sales going on.”
“I think it's a little too early for that.”
“I'm going to be a grandma again. I can't wait any longer to start shopping for my grandchild.”
“Fine, Mom,” Robyn giggled. “Just don't overdo it.”
“Of course I won't,” Marjorie said with a little laugh of her own. “So how is everything with you and Devin?”
“We're...okay.”
“Have you seen him since you left my house?”
“Yes,” Robyn said simply, not wanting to say too much and get her mother's hopes up. But of course, Devin chose that moment to tell her that her tea was getting cold.
“Is that him?” The excitement in her mother's tone was almost laughable. “Is he there now?”
“Yes, Mom, that's him.”
He grinned mischievously. Robyn shook her head at him, silently warning him not to say anything else.
“Oh!” Marjorie exclaimed. “That's wonderful. Does that mean-”
“He brought breakfast over this morning,” Robyn said, cutting her mother off. “We just finished eating.”
“Well I would have rather heard that he'd spent the night but breakfast is a good start. I hope you don't mind, but I've already booked The Scope, just in case.”
“What?” It was Robyn's turn to exclaim. “Just in case what?”
Her mother wasn't saying what she thought she was saying. Was she?
“It's no big deal,” Marjorie said, dismissively. “You know how booked up they are. I had to do it, the sooner the better.”
“It is a big deal.” Robyn frowned. “You booked an expensive hall for no reason. You can't force us to get married.”
“No one's forcing you to do anything,” Her mother said with a huff. “I booked it just in case. December 12th.”
“I can't believe you,” Robyn said, scowling at Devin, who was still grinning.
“The down payment wasn't much. Don't worry about it. If you and Devin get engaged, that's great. If not, that's okay too.”
Sure, it would be okay. Yeah, right. Her mother would be on her even more than ever to marry Devin.
“What did Daddy say?” Robyn asked, refusing to believe that her father would be so nonchalant about her mother spending an insane amount of money reserving an upscale hall for a wedding that wasn't going to take place.
“I haven't told him yet. But it doesn't matter, I used my money to make the down payment, not our money so there's nothing he can say.”
I can't believe you,” Robyn said again. “You let me know you want to buy baby clothes ahead of time but you don't let me know you're planning to book a wedding venue?”
“I knew you'd try to talk me out of it,” Marjorie said simply. “I didn't want to debate this. It's already done.”
“Well, it's a waste of money,” Robyn said.
“It's already well worth it,” Marjorie said nonchalantly, “Just knowing that we have it reserved, just in case, eases my mind immensely.”
Devin was leaning back on the couch, quietly laughing. He was enjoying this way too much.
“And I don't have to make another payment on the balance until six months before the ceremony,” Marjorie went on to say. “Who knows what will happen between you and Devin by then.”
“You're going to be seriously disappointed,” Robyn managed, feeling infuriated.
“If that happens, I'll deal with it,” Marjorie said simply. “Well, I have to go. I'm going to get back to cleaning.”
“Bye, Mom.” Robyn was eager to get off of the phone.
“I love you, sweetie.”
“I love you, too.” Robyn hung up the phone and shook her head. “I can't believe her!”
“She's planning our wedding, huh?” Devin laughed.
“It's not funny!” Robyn said crossly. It was harmless for everyone else to get their hopes up but not her. She had to protect her heart as best she could. “She booked The Scope for December 12th. She's nuts.”
Devin whistled under his breath. “That place is pricey.”
“I know.”
“Oh well, we might need it. You never know.”
>
“Don't start with me, Devin,” Robyn warned him, crossing her arms and leaning back on the couch.
Devin laughed again. “Anything could happen.”
“No, I'm not even going to discuss this with you. Not now. Not ever.”
“Well, then I guess it's a bad time to tell you that my mother booked The Sergio Cruz band for the reception.”
“What the...!” Robyn's mouth fell open. “So you knew they were planning our wedding and you didn't feel the need to tell me?”
“I didn't know your mom had booked a hall,” Devin said in a rush, “My mom called me last night and told me that she'd gotten the band for December 12th. I didn't bother asking her why she chose that date. But I should have known they'd do something like this.”
“They're both certifiable,” Robyn muttered. “Well, it's their money to waste. I'm not going to say anything else to them about it.”
Devin looked at her quietly, not saying anything, and she wondered what he was thinking. But she refused to ask. The situation was already out of control and she'd had enough aggravation. It was barely ten in the morning and too much had already happened.
Robyn tried to get comfortable on the couch, tried to force herself to focus on the movie, but all she kept thinking was what life could have been. Her mother and Devin's mother planning their wedding. She'd briefly dreamed about planning her wedding with them. But that was all it would ever be: a dream. And the sooner everyone realized it, the better. She couldn't afford anything more or anything less.
Devin cleaned up the remnants of their lunch while Robyn lay sleepily on the couch. She would be asleep at any moment. The protectiveness and possessiveness he felt was staggering. The baby was his but so was she, even though she couldn't yet admit it. They'd already taken a huge step. They'd spent half the day together already, which was more than he could have hoped for and much more than he'd expected so soon.
He'd protested a little when his mother had told him she'd booked a band. He'd warned his mother that he and Robyn were far from getting married. But he'd secretly been happy and was even happier to learn that Marjorie had booked a hall. By the time he proposed to Robyn, most of their wedding would already be planned. He didn't mind that at all. He wanted to get married then and now.
