by L. B. Dunbar
My thoughts were interrupted as his lips crashed with mine. It was powerful and tender, all at once, as he sucked my lips into his. He rolled my bottom one between his and I felt the familiar scratch of his scruff against my chin. He held onto me with a nip and I opened at the spark. His tongue hesitantly reached out for mine and I responded in turn. Our tongues connected and the dance began. Torturous and tempting, every lick, every suck, every pull was familiar. This was what I needed. I needed to connect with him. I needed him to surround me and defeat the memories as he had before.
Her, just her…
[Perkins]
She was kissing me, or rather; she was letting me kiss her. Our mouths melted together and our lips recognized the comfort of one another. We kissed and kissed and kissed. My body wanted more, but my heart was content with the connection of her attached to my mouth. She moved into me, and I tugged her across my lap. She wasn’t straddling me, which was fine. I cradled her. I only wanted my lips on hers. My hands caressed her back and came to rest at the base of it. Hers travelled up my chest, then wrapped around my neck. We stayed like this for a long time. Making out like two teenagers, who knew tonight it would go no further than this kiss.
I was the one to pull back as I led a path of kisses down her jaw, to her neck.
“Hollister,” I breathed and she shivered. “I don’t think we should go farther, right now, but I want to. I want you to know that I want to, when you’re ready. If you’re ever ready to be with me again.”
Her hands cupped my scruff-covered face, and she pulled it up to stare into my eyes. That cold gray I’d seen was melting to a brilliant silver. She stared at me for several seconds before she spoke.
“Perkins, you’re the only man I ever want to be with.”
The thrill of her words went from my toes to my heart and back down. It was the ride of a lifetime to hear her admit so much. I kissed her again. I wanted to capture her mouth and every other part of her body. Just like her singing, I wanted to drink in her words and swallow them whole. Catch them on her lips and take them into me before they could escape. I kept my kisses tender, though. Overtaking her tonight would not be the way to capture her heart.
We slowed to small pecks before she wrapped her arms around me tighter, and we sat in a simple embrace. I held her for a long time. When she finally pulled back, we talked. I didn’t want to make her replay the whole night, but I did want to know if there was more she needed to explain. She asked me how I found her. It suddenly occurred to me that I’d lost Michael McMann. When I told her he was the one to lead me to her, she didn’t seem surprised. I didn’t want her to be concerned about another man and told her such. We would find Michael next and put an end to him before he met the fate of Jordan Waters.
Hollister remained quiet as I explained it all. She was curled into my chest as she sat on my lap, and she nodded once.
“I don’t want to talk about that night anymore,” she said.
“I have one more thing,” I began. “I’m worried about you.” I reached for the edge of her sweatshirt, but her hand covered mine to hold it down.
“Let me look, Hollister.”
She released her hand and I tugged the material upward. A nasty bruise covered her lower abdomen and vomit rolled in my stomach at the thought of him hurting her. She had a black eye, but her broken nose had been reset. It wasn’t pretty, but she was still beautiful to me. I scooted to the center of the couch then slid her off of me, keeping her legs draped over mine. Leaning forward, my eyes on hers, I kissed the bruise. I kissed down the center and around it in a circle. I wanted to draw the damage out of her if I could.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I’m so sorry he got this close. I should have been there. I should have protected you better.”
“Perkins,” she said, as she took my face again in her delicate hands and drew me upward to look at her. “There was no way to know that Jordan would take me again. There was no way to know when, or how, or where. I refused to live in fear, even when I was scared.”
I nodded once then returned to kissing over the purple space one more time.
“He shouldn’t have hurt you like this. I don’t understand why he hurt you like this. But it could have been so much worse and I’m thankful it wasn’t.”
I looked up at her again and a tear escaped her eye.
“What did I say?” I reached up to take the pain away from her and drink in that tear from my thumb.
“It could be worse,” she said, her voice shaky again.
“He can never hurt you again,” I said strongly. “Never. He is gone forever and never coming back.”
“But it could still be worse. The damage might be done.”
I stared at her, completely unaware what she meant. The blood in my body was beginning to run cold again, as I feared there was something she hadn’t mentioned actually happened to her.
“What did he do?” my voice cracked as I asked.
“I told him I was pregnant and he punched me.”
“Why?” I paused, as I didn’t dare break eye contact with her. I didn’t understand why she would lie.
“Jordan Waters believed that I could give him the one thing he was destined to have. A child. You know he called me his promised one, and he believed that I was promised to him to fulfill a destiny. To carry on a line that I don’t believe exists. He thought I came from some royal family, of sorts. If we had a child, it would be his blood mixed with mine that would pass on the line.”
I couldn’t comprehend the craziness of that thought.
“So you told him you were pregnant, but why?”
“I thought if he knew I was already pregnant, he would give up the hunt. I couldn’t fulfill the prophecy for him. I wouldn’t be able to give him what he wanted.”
“Did he punch you to kill a nonexistent child? He hit you where he thought a baby would be?” My voice cracked again and I stared at her swollen purple stomach.
“How did he think you got pregnant?” I asked innocently.
“He believed it was you.”
I snorted a false laugh. My mind could not comprehend such a sick bastard. I kissed her stomach again before I looked up at her. More tears slid down her face.
I’m not quick to understand things, but in an instant I knew.
She hadn’t lied. She really was pregnant. It really was mine.
His, all his…
[Hollister]
Perkins Vale was a big man. He surrounded me in body and heart, but I never would have expected his reaction to what he just learned. His face buried into my bruised stomach and light moisture covered my injury, as the tears of the man washed over me. His lips kissed me again, delicately. He was tender and sweet as salty tears dripped from his eyes onto my lower abdomen. When he was finished washing me and caressing me with softened lips, he laid his head on me.
My hands had already taken the task to soothe him by stroking over his head. It pleased him to have his short hair rubbed. For once I was comforting him, instead of him trying to protect me. His arms slipped around me and he held me tight. When I whimpered at the pressure on the bruise, I was immediately lifted into the air. He carried me upstairs like I weighed nothing, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Laying me down in the small bed, he curled into me. While he had always been the one to trap me in, it was my turn to fold over him. His face never left my waist area, and I curled my arms around his head, holding him pressed to me. My leg went over his hip and his knee came between my thighs. We were wrapped into each other as best we could be, our thoughts rabid, our hearts rapid.
I continued to stroke his head, and over time, he fell asleep in this position. He hadn’t spoken a word. I couldn’t decipher his emotions. His tears led me to believe he was sorrowful at what might be potentially lost to us. The doctor had assured me that I was relatively safe. The baby was relatively safe. The size of a lima bean, and cushioned from the impact by me, the baby should be protected. But doubt filled my mind and pinched my he
art. I never imagined having a child, but I wanted this one. I wanted his. Perkins’.
He rested for a while and I explained what the doctor had said. He listened but remained quiet. Finally, I asked him a question: one that had been nagging at me for some time. It would force him to actually talk.
“Once you found me, what was your plan?”
He stared at me, then blinked, clearly confused.
“You say that you have been searching for me, but what did you plan to do, once you found me?”
He looked at me, glanced away, opened his mouth then snapped it shut.
“Did you have a plan? I mean, after that. Once I was found was that the end?”
“I guess,” he paused, “I guess I had no plan other than to never let you go again.”
I smiled slowly.
“And now?” I questioned, hesitation in my tone. What if a baby was too much? What if it was more than he desired?
“My quest would never be complete, unless you were mine forever.”
I didn’t know how to respond. We would be connected forever. If all went well with the baby, we were bonded for life in a sense.
“Mine. Forever,” he whispered. “My story was unfinished, but now I’d like to complete it.” He spoke to my stomach. Kissed it once. Then pulled himself up to kiss above my heart, over the sweatshirt I wore.
I stared at him. I had no tears of sorrow left in me, but liquid filled my eyes again. This time it was relief.
He asked me if I’d take a drive with him. He knew that a snowstorm was predicted, but he said he had some place he needed to go. He didn’t want to leave me alone. Just like when we first made love, Perkins could not keep his hands from me. He followed me to change. He helped me remove my clothes. He made no attempt to seduce me. He made no move to touch me, other than the light brushes and soft kisses, but I would take every piece I could get from him.
We spoke in the truck about Arturo and how he had seen him hours before he found me. Pointing out the house on the hill, we continued into familiar territory around Lake Avalon and pulled into the circular drive of the Corbin family estate. I wasn’t sure why we were here. I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to do, but I followed him inside to find my cousin Elaine waiting for us.
She dragged me off to the small library in the home.
“Tell me everything,” she breathed as she clasped my hands between hers. I began at the beginning. I was drained of all emotion when I was finally done. I had one piece of the story I wasn’t ready to share when she surprised me with her news.
“Lansing Lotte?” I questioned. It seemed like a prophecy fulfilled for Elaine, and yet her heartbreak seemed evident, as well. This was no dream come true for my cousin, but her excitement for her future was apparent. She would do her best to continue to complete her father’s crazy predictions. We weren’t there long, and Perkins sat in silence as Elaine and I spoke. As her story was finished, my uncle rolled into the cozy room.
“You’ve finally returned, have you, my child? Bring another suitor with you?”
My bitterness returned immediately to this elder.
“We were just leaving, old man,” I scoffed. “And you remember Perkins Vale.”
The older man’s eyes were runny as he squinted at Perkins. He seemed to be sizing him up in his plaid shirt and faded jeans. Despite the loose fit, it was obvious that Perkins Vale was a strong man underneath his clothing. Uncle Roy’s eyes slowly widened in recognition.
“Finally got something to ask me?” Roy inquired.
“As a matter of fact, I do have a question to ask you,” Perkins said, rising from where he sat in a window seat behind me.
“Finally,” the old man muttered, as he led the way for Perkins to follow him out of the library.
A moonlit night…
[Perkins]
It was a few nights later. The evening grew dark early, but a full moon lit the black sky. I stood in the kitchen, looking out at the lightly falling snow as I prepared dinner for us. It was New Year’s Eve. I tried to make it special with a multitude of candles and the blazing fireplace. It was more intimate than our Thanksgiving night picnic, but I liked them both the same. After things were cleared up, the cast of the moon shone blue in the sky. It was a soothing color, and I stared as I stacked dishes by the sink. Hollister came up behind me.
“Beautiful,” she whispered and I felt the brush of her breath at my shoulder.
“Want to go outside for a minute?” I asked. We bundled up in snow boots and layers of clothes before exiting through the back door. Walking a few feet away from the cottage, I inhaled the mixed fragrance of a burning fireplace and freshly fallen snow. Hollister tilted her head and took in the numerous stars, some of which were faded out by the yellow glow of the moon.
“It’s so peaceful,” she sighed.
I swallowed hard.
“Hollister,” I began, my voice croaked and I coughed to clear it.
“You asked me the other day what was my plan? Once I found you, what did I hope to do? I replied my story was unwritten, but I’m ready to complete it. I think in my heart I always knew that once I found you, you would just be mine, as I have always been yours. But I want to make it official.”
I turned to face her and slowly got down on one knee. The ring was in my hand, not a box, as that’s how it was given to me. I held up both hands like a prayer then spread them open like a book. Inside my palm rested the oval pearl. Mother of pearl, which seemed only appropriate for she would be the mother of my child. It was surrounded with a swirl of silver and crushed looking diamonds that gave it the appearance of a budding flower. Mon blanche fleur.
“Perkins?” she questioned.
“I want to make it forever.”
“Is this because of the baby?” she whispered, her voice expressed the uncertainty of my intentions.
“No. Indirectly yes, but no. This is because I love you. I have always loved only you.”
She smiled slowly. I needed to know she felt the same.
“Is this what you went to see my uncle about?” she asked.
I couldn’t lie. It was. I had one question to ask him. One I didn’t know I was supposed to ask all those years ago. It was too simple. While the first question should have been, who is she?, which the old man answered when I stood on his waterfront back in November, my real question should have been: May I have her? Not steal her. Not take her. Can I have her to love her, protect her, and keep her safe from harm?
When I finally asked him that question, he didn’t ask what took me so long. He didn’t question my motives, or her condition. He willingly gave something else that had been in his charge. The ring. He claimed it was her mother’s ring, passed down from her mother, and her mother before that. It was precious and rare, just like Hollister, and it should be treasured, but only she could possess it. As I planned on placing it on her finger and never having it removed, I believed Hollister would be fulfilling that destiny. She would wear the ring as worn by the women before her, but it would symbolize her connection to me.
“It is,” I said, feeling the dampness of snow creep through the knees of my jeans. She wasn’t answering me.
“Do you have a specific question to ask me?” her voice teased.
“I do,” I said, and realized, once again, I hadn’t asked the important question. Yet.
“In these woods I found you. And in these woods I lost you. But I plan to never let you go again. Let me love you, as I already have for most of my life? Will you marry me?”
She smiled broadly and nodded as the softest “Yes,” slipped from her lips. Her breath blew out in the cool night and I wanted to capture her words with my own lips. Standing instantly, I took her mouth with mine, momentarily forgetting to complete the action of placing the ring on her finger. Her breath mingled with mine as I pulled on her lips and warmed them with my own. I wanted to savor her commitment to me, but I wasn’t done yet.
“I don’t want to wait,” I rushed.
; She stared at me.
“I want to marry tonight. Here. Just us.”
She blinked once. Then opened her oversized jacket, extending one side.
“What are you doing?” I asked, reaching for her to wrap her back up.
“I have something for you,” she muttered softly. “Something I’ve treasured for a long time, and it’s time to return it to you.”
She produced a small pocketknife from an interior side pocket. It was delicate and the space it came from was inconspicuous. She was working her finger at something in the lining of her jacket, using the small open blade to aid her. It seemed like a short eternity. I was beginning to feel like my plan to wed her in the falling snow was about to be ruined. She pulled something out that she immediately covered in her hand and turned to face me. Twisting her fingers, she held her present up to me.
“My father’s ring,” I gasped.
“I’ve held onto it all this time,” she said, softly, almost as if she were embarrassed. “I hid it in my jacket, and made sure to never lose this outerwear. I felt comfort knowing it was inside the lining.” She was silent a heartbeat before she added. “I always hoped you come back for me one day.”
My lips were on hers again, breathing in her words and swallowing them whole. I was not only the past returned for her, but I was the future hoping to complete her.
Pulling back abruptly, I tugged her glove from her left hand and slowly placed her mother’s ring on her finger. With the snow and moon as my witness, I spoke unwritten vows to her like the lyrics of a song.
“With this ring, I wed you, Hollister SanGrael, in the desire to spend the rest of my life discovering and loving you. Love is patient, which I’ve displayed as I searched for you. I believed you were meant for me, and I would have waited until the end of time for you. Love is kind, which I find in your spirit. Love is not jealous, and this I know will be hard for me. You are a beautiful woman, and I want to own you in the best of ways. I want to keep you safe from harm. I want to love you hard. I want to be with you always. You will complete me, for I believe you’ve been missing from me. I love you, Hollister SanGrael, and with this ring I plan to show the world that we are one.” I kissed over the ring on her finger and stared down at it. I held my breath.
