I’ve finally found someone to make me feel alive and there’s no way I’m letting him go.
8
Keller
Sweat drips off of me as I lean over Britt. For a moment, I think I’ve fucked her unconscious, but even though her eyes are closed, her pink lips curve up into a smile.
Happiness like I haven’t felt in almost a decade has me grinning like an idiot. How is it possible that this tiny, timid-looking girl, can make me feel about ten feet tall? She makes me feel… human. Fuck, just the fact that she makes me feel anything is a goddamn miracle.
I pull out and tuck my dick back into my shorts. Working fast, I unwrap her wrists, gently massaging the circulation back into them. Britt is so blissed out, she lets me manipulate her like a rag doll, her head lolling from one side to the other as I turn her over and pull her pants back up from her ankles, sliding them over her gorgeous red ass.
Britt finally comes back from wherever she’s been, blinking those big blue eyes up at me. I help her sit up, and she reaches one hand out to touch the side of my face. “Keller.”
Like the flip of a switch, the sound of my name on her lips turns my good mood dark, sending frigid blood pumping to my black, shriveled heart. I can’t stop the sneer that spreads across my face. “My name is Killer.”
Britt’s eyes narrow and her pert nose wrinkles up. Before she can argue, someone bangs loudly on the door. Neither of us can look away, sapphire versus gray, trapped in a bizarre silent standoff. I watch as a deep blush stains her cheeks and she finally drops her gaze, those long lashes brushing her skin.
“Oh god. Someone probably heard us,” she whispers. Britt pushes off the table, searching for her shirt. Finding it hanging off of a nearby bench press, she shrugs it on. The loud banging begins again. Shoulders back and head high, Britt marches over to open the door.
“Wait!” I grab her arm, not sure what just happened to change the energy between us from blazing hot to ice cold. I only know that something feels wrong. If I let the moment end like this, everything will change, and not in a way I find acceptable.
Britt stares at the spot where my hand grips her arm and flicks her gaze up to my face. An odd look flashes in her eyes, gone before I can analyze what it means.
“What do you want, Killer?” Her pretty mouth twists into a sneer as she spits out my name.
What do I want?
It’s obvious Britt wants me to let her in, to drop the mask and let her see the real me. What Britt doesn’t know is that Keller is dead and gone. Killer is the real me, he’s all that’s left in this shell of a body. I lower my hand, unable or unwilling to explain my past. It’s better Britt thinks I’m an asshole than for her to know what I truly am, what I did.
The pounding gets louder, more determined. Frustrated with myself—for hiding, for letting Britt down, for being a coward—I march over to the door and fling it open. “What the fuck do you want?”
An irate Jackson Wolfe shoves his way in, kicking the door shut behind him. His eyes are wild and his chest is heaving.
“Jack?” Britt moves closer. “Aren’t you supposed to be fighting soon?”
Wolfe’s crazy eyes flick from me to Britt and back. “What the hell were you doing to her in here, you sick fuck?” he snarls, shoving his way into my personal space.
Already agitated from the thought of losing Britt, and thrown off by her calling me by my real name, I step forward, bumping chests with Wolfe. “None of your fucking business, douchebag.”
Wolfe’s eyes widen, shocked to actually hear my voice since I almost never speak to him. He sneers, putting up his fists as if to fight me.
“Jack,” Britt jumps between us. “Are you crazy? You’ll be kicked out of the league.”
“Britt, this guy is a sick piece of shit. Can’t you see it? The thought of him touching you—”
“Is none of your business,” Britt interrupts, her voice firm.
My blood pressure is sky high, my pulse throbbing in my temples, and my carefully composed façade cracks. “Who the fuck do you think you are, Wolfe?” I step forward, forcing him to step back. “Get the fuck out of here before I hurt you.” My still-wrapped hands curl into fists. Adrenaline courses through my body, starting in my core and quickly radiating outward until my limbs buzz with energy.
Only two things make me feel alive, Britt and fighting. If Wolfe doesn’t get out of my face, he’s going to meet the real me he claims to see. The unleashed version, not the tame, restrained one he’s encountered at the gym.
“You motherfucker,” Wolfe growls.
He leaps, arms swinging. I see it happening a split second before it becomes reality. There’s not enough time for me to pull Britt out of the way, and goddamn it, she’s always in the way! The pussy that he is, Jack shoves me instead of throwing a punch. As I stagger to maintain my footing, my elbow makes contact with the side of Britt’s head and she falls to the floor. The sound of her skull smacking on the solid concrete will haunt my memory forever.
“Oh fuck!” Wolfe shouts, panicking. He attempts to kneel down next to her, but I push him back, so furious I’m bordering on homicidal.
“Go get Gabriel, you fucking idiot!”
I cradle Britt’s head in my lap, pushing her long blonde hair off her face. Feeling around her skull with my fingers, my hands come up clean. No blood. Right as Gabriel bursts through the door, Britt’s eyes roll back in her head and she begins convulsing.
My heart leaps into my throat as her small body begins to thrash on the floor. “Protect her head, Killer!” Gabriel turns to shout at Wolfe. “Get the paramedics in here! They should be in the medical room.”
Wolfe takes off to get the medics as Britt continues convulsing. I hold her head as still as possible without accidentally injuring her neck. The tremors continue, and with each passing second a long buried part of me struggles to surface. The human part, the part with emotions and messy, complicated feelings. I failed Kinsey. I wasn’t there to protect her. I’ll be damned if I’m not going to be here for Britt.
Uniformed medics rush into the room, working together, lifting Britt onto a stretcher. I watch, helpless, tugging at my hair as they strap her down.
“I’m riding with her,” I insist, finding my hoodie and pulling it over my head.
Gabriel gives me a withering look, which I challenge with one of my own. “Fine, meu filho. Stay with her. I’ll meet you at the hospital after the press conference. I’ll make your excuses.”
The paramedics wheel her out as I stuff my feet into my unlaced shoes. I hurry to keep up, shoving gawkers out of the way in the crowded hall. They load her up and I swing up into the back of the ambulance, sitting next to the stretcher. Outside, I catch a glimpse of Wolfe, his face drawn and pale, and decide then and there that he will suffer for what he did to Britt.
And I’ll be the one to make it happen, enjoying every minute of it.
Britt
Familiar, pale silver eyes fill with tears that overflow down ruddy, freckled cheeks. I’m cramped, my body curled up tight, shaking like a leaf while pressed against the person with the haunted eyes. My nostrils sting from the smell of industrial cleaner and the acrid burn of sulfur. Heavy boots thud into view.
Pop! Pop! Pop!
I jolt awake, the sudden movement sending a streak of pain through my skull.
“Ow.” I try to reach up to touch my scar, but someone is holding my hand.
“Thank god, you’re awake! Jesus, Britt. I was so fucking scared.”
“Keller?” My voice is hoarse and my throat is dry. His warm hand squeezes mine.
“Let me get the nurse.” He tries to untangle his fingers from mine and I panic, clinging to his arm.
“No! Don’t leave me!” Memories of being in the hospital after waking up from brain surgery and a weeklong coma have me freaking out. The beeping of the heart monitor gets faster and faster, a loud alarm drawing unwanted attention to my distress.
“Okay. It’s okay, baby. I’m here.
” Keller squeezes my hand before reaching over and pressing a button to summon the nurse.
“What happened?” I croak, licking my cracked lips. Keller lifts a cup and puts a straw between them. The cool water soothes my raw throat.
Keller’s hand tightens on mine. “Don’t worry about that right now.”
I want to push for more information, but a harried nurse enters the room. She gives Keller a scathing look that lets me know he’s most likely been a nuisance.
“Hello, Miss Reeves. Welcome back. I’m Mona. I need to check your vitals and then Dr. Wetzel will be in to see you.” Mona fusses with various buttons and my IV line, throwing a scowl or two Keller’s way. At some point, Keller threw his hood up over his brow, hiding most of his face, which probably aggravates Mona even more.
Her work done, Mona stalks out of the room in a huff with a promise to find the doctor.
“Why am I here?” I ask Keller again. He winces and his face turns red. Even under that hood I can see he doesn’t want to tell me. “Tell me, Keller!”
Sighing, he pushes back the hood, letting it fall against his back. Troubled gray eyes meet mine and I gasp. Flashes of tears, of screams, of the metallic scent of gunpowder assail my fragile mind. Frightened, I twist, yanking free from Keller’s grip and press the heels of my hands to either side of my head.
“Britt? Britt? What the fuck? Hey! Help! What’s happening?”
I curl up, screaming while pushing on my temples to try and purge the horrific visions. The machines attached to my body go crazy, beeping in a loud cacophony that only adds to my agitation.
“Move back, please.” A commanding voice enters the room.
“Fuck you, I’m not leaving her!” Even while I’m falling to pieces, the panic edging into Keller’s voice is obvious. Keller is on the verge of losing it.
“Sir, if you don’t step aside, I’ll have security remove you from the premises. You are not family and we can keep you out.”
“Fuck!”
Keller must do what they ask because several sets of hands touch me at once, causing me to flinch and let out a strangled cry. A stranger speaks. “Britton? Can you calm down?”
Blood, gunpowder, silver eyes, burnt rubber, more blood, so much blood… memory after memory pummels my mind as it splinters into fragments—ignorant bliss on one side, reality demanding to be set free on the other.
“Mona, push one milligram of Versed, IV.”
A soothing chill enters my vein and before I can piece together the images, my world goes dark.
* * *
When I wake up, it’s nighttime. The bright lights of the Vegas strip shine through the huge windows on one side of the room. Disoriented, I push myself to a sitting position.
The furniture is familiar. This is definitely my hotel, but not my room. A quiet snuffle next to me answers the question as to whose room it is. Keller is lying on his stomach, arms under his pillow, his face slack with sleep. My eyes trace over the intricate, traditional Thai sak yant tattoos on his back.
How did I get here?
My bladder cries for relief, so I slide out of bed and quietly take care of business. When I return, I sit on the edge of the mattress to watch Keller for a few minutes. He’s handsome all of the time, but without all of his hard edges and angry scowls, he is positively stunning. Sleep wipes away the constant fury, the hostility, the walls he puts up. I see Keller as he’s meant to be, young, relaxed, gorgeous—it breaks my heart that he’s filled with such anger and self-hatred.
We all have our demons.
Keller rolls to his side, slinging an arm out across the bed. His hand finds my waist and as strong as he is, I don’t stand a chance. Keller pulls me to his body, tucking me into his side and dropping a soft kiss on the back of my neck.
I melt into his touch, letting the safety of being in his arms quiet the noise in my head. There are so many questions, but do I really want to know the answers if it could jeopardize what I have with Keller? For the first time in a decade, I feel calm. The constant anxiety I carry around has been shed like dropping a heavy, dead outer husk, leaving me light and free to live without fear.
“Hey.” Keller’s muffled voice breaks me from my thoughts.
“Hey.”
I twist to see over my shoulder and Keller presses a chaste kiss to my forehead. Such a tender gesture from such a violent man. “You feeling better?”
I shift to sit up and Keller joins me, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. His dark hair is matted in the back, sticking up in every direction. Beneath his gray eyes are heavy, dark circles. Keller looks tired. And adorable.
“I’m fine. I just… what happened? Please, tell me.”
Keller throws off the sheet and stands up, his perfect body on full display. Wearing only a pair of tight black briefs, he stalks over to the window, bracing one arm on the glass over his head, pressing his forehead to the smooth surface as he stares out at the lights of the strip.
“You… a… then… scary…”
I move closer—with his back to me, my bad ear prevents me from catching what Keller says. I run my hand down the silky skin over his spine and his chest rumbles with pleasure. “I’m sorry, K. I didn’t hear you.”
Keller breathes in and out slowly. I can see the muscles in his jaw pulsing. He still won’t look at me, blindly staring outside. “You had a seizure, Britt.”
My blood runs cold and my hand drops to my side. I take a step back, not wanting to hear the rest.
Keller spins around, his face a combination of fury and anguish. “That fucker Wolfe shoved me and…” He squeezes his eyes shut, causing the tendons in his neck to pull taut. “I hit you with my elbow.” Speaking through clenched teeth, he continues. “That asshole made me hit you and you hit your head and started convulsing. Fuck, Britt…” Keller swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing, his eyes still closed.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, taking another step back.
Keller’s eyes pop open. “What are you sorry for? It’s that motherfucker Wolfe who’s going to be sorry. Seeing you in that hospital… Jesus.” Large hands run through his mangled hair and he stares up at the ceiling. I’ve seen Keller upset, but this is beyond angry. Keller’s eyes glint with lethality.
But my mind isn’t focused on Keller or his desire for revenge. All I can think of is if I was in the hospital for a seizure, the doctors would have seen my scar. My heart races, throbbing painfully inside my chest. Did they tell Keller about my injury? I can’t have him treating me differently. He’ll be afraid to touch me. He won’t give me what I need. He won’t help me feel safe.
I retreat another step, surprised when the back of my legs hit the mattress.
Keller’s hands fall from his head and he focuses on me. Tilting his head, he gives me a strange look. “Where are you going?”
“I’m…” I glance around the room, searching for my clothes so I can get the hell out of here before I have to see the pity in his eyes.
In a flash, Keller is in front of me before I can come up with an excuse to flee. His thick thighs pin mine to the bed, while his wide hands and long fingers span my waist, holding me firmly in place. “What’s wrong? Why are you afraid of me?”
“I-I’m not. I just… I need to get back to my r-room. To clean up.”
“I had all of your things moved here. You’re not staying by yourself. I’m not chancing you having another seizure with no one there for you.” Keller barks out an unamused laugh. “Fuck that. No way. You’re not leaving my side ever again.”
I wonder if I get a say in the matter, but decide not to argue… yet.
“How did I get here?” I change the subject, trying to remember the events between waking in the hospital and waking up here, and fail. There’s only darkness, and the horrific, haunting images of “the incident.”
Keller raises an eyebrow and brings up a hand to brush my hair back behind one ear. “You don’t remember? You were awake, but kind of out of it. They said you would be like that from
some of the medications they gave you. You signed the discharge papers and everything.”
“Oh.”
I wait for the questions. My heart is pounding so hard I’m shocked it doesn’t crack any ribs. Any minute now, Keller will mention the scar, the brain injury. He’ll want to know. He’ll see me differently. Back to being treated like delicate glass. My lungs constrict, and I’m suddenly desperate for air.
“Britt?”
Pins and needles prick at my fingers and toes, ice racing up and down my extremities as my chest squeezes tighter.
“Britt? What the hell?”
Suddenly, I’m being swept off my feet and laid gently on the center of the huge bed. Keller wraps his body around mine, throwing a leg over my hips and an arm over my shoulders. He pulls me close, whispering into my hair.
“You’re okay. Jesus, I’m going to kill that fucker Wolfe for doing this.”
Gritting my teeth, I take deep, measured breaths through my nose, in and out, in and out, until the shimmering edges of unconsciousness recede from my vision and my heartbeat slows.
“Don’t hurt him.”
“What?” Keller pushes up on one elbow, leaning over so he can see my face. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
“Don’t hurt Wolfe. It’s not his fault.”
“Britt—”
“Please, Keller.”
Keller
My stomach twists as Britt’s big, blue eyes bore into me, unwavering in their quest to see right into my soul. For the first time in a decade, the sound of my given name doesn’t dredge up feelings of loathing and resentment.
I try to put the wall back up, the protective armor that has surrounded me for so long, but Britt reaches over and with gentle fingers, caresses my rough cheek. Just like that, the wall she’s been chipping at since we met, crumbles to dust.
“Don’t shut me out,” she whispers. “I can’t…” a sob rips from her chest. “I need you.”
Killer Page 12
