by Nhys Glover
When he finally moved, it was a sudden and shocking action. He flipped over onto his back and grabbed her painfully by the arm, yanking her down on top of him.
As he came fully awake, his grip eased and he became more confused than angry. ‘Dee? Dee, is that you? What are you doing here?’
She felt herself blushing. How she had envied Phil her ability to blush. Now she regretted those feelings. Blushing only added further mortification to her embarrassment. Where was her cool calm exterior when she needed it?
‘I came to talk to you,’ she finally found her voice to reply. It sounded croaky and she was embarrassed even more by the sound.
‘What? What time is it? You should not be here.’ His voice was also croaky from sleep.
‘It is late. Everyone is abed. I could not wait until morning for answers. My questions are driving me mad. I have to know now. I have to understand what I can expect now.’ She sounded vehement and a little hysterical, even to her own ears.
Jasper groaned and rubbed his forehead. A fresh wave of alcoholic fumes hit her as he exhaled. It was not unpleasant, but it was strong.
‘You should not be here,’ he said again.
‘And you should not have let your wolf loose on me. We have both done the wrong thing, have we not?’
‘I did not let my wolf loose on you, as you put it. I came to save you. I should have left it to others. I know that now. But I could not. The idea of you being in the clutches of that bounder was more than I could bear. I could not think straight.’
She sat down on the edge of the bed and looked down at him. Even sleep-tousled, the man was a god. Her breath caught in her throat and she looked away, desperate to keep her sudden arousal a secret from him. How could she feel drawn to him like this when he was a danger to her; when he had put her at risk, without letting her know what might happen to her?
But she knew now, didn’t she? And yet she was here, feeling her blood singing in her veins, feeling her head becoming light and a little dizzy, as if it was she who had drunk too much wine. He was right, of course; she shouldn’t be here.
‘I deserve answers. You…You have placed me in this predicament. The least you can do is explain to me what I can expect.’ Where her arrogance came from, she didn’t quite know. This was not her usual behaviour. Maybe it was the werewolf taking her over.
Jasper dragged himself up into a seated position and tried to straighten his clothing. Then he eased himself off the bed and drew her off it, too. It was clear from the glances he cast her way that having her on his bed, even just sitting there, was pushing his control to the limit.
He sprawled out on his small chaise longe, leaving the wing-backed smoking chair for her. She took it, folding her robe around her naked legs with as much decorum as she could muster.
‘What do you want to know?’ he finally asked, dragging his eyes from her naked feet that were left exposed by the length of robe. Her feet were cold as ice, but she didn’t attempt to cover them and attract more attention to her state of undress.
‘Everything. When will I know if I have been turned? What is it like? Will I be as big as your wolf?’
He groaned and cleared his throat. ‘As in folklore, a werewolf assumes that form only for three nights a month, during the full moon. So if you have been turned, which I doubt very much, it will happen in twenty-four days. Here at the Keep, we have dungeons set aside for us during that period. They are rudimentary, but do the job of keeping us safely locked away during that time. If we were to roam…Well, the number of us that exist speaks to what happens when we are free to roam.’
‘If you are locked away, how did you get to Harrogate that night, or to Rathgart?’
‘We are locked in. But the second night of this last full moon, I could not bear to be imprisoned. I felt an even stronger drive than normal to be free…to find you. So I hid the key to my cell and made sure it was unlocked before I turned. I was just lucky the door at the top of the stairs was left ajar that night. It is not usual, although mistakes happen. I had also left the French windows in the dining room slightly ajar.
‘As to last night, I left here as soon as we had word that you had been taken. Byron would have tried to stop me, but I am superhumanly strong, and in that moment I was mad with worry for you. Will could have stopped me, but for some reason, he stayed out of it. In the end, ‘Ron wisely chose not to hold me back. Instead, he and Phil followed in my wake. I assume they hoped to stop me if my wolf tried to harm you. But once night fell and I changed, I moved much faster than any horse could, through rough hilly terrain. Certainly faster than a carriage and four using the icy roads. I must have overtaken the carriage. I do not remember much of that night. I never do.’
‘So you are not aware of yourself as a man when you are in wolf form?’
‘No. But when I am back in human form, I have brief glimpses of what occurred while in wolf form.’
‘Why did your wolf behave so uncharacteristically? It was almost human in its caring for me.’
‘I do not know. The beast has been behaving oddly ever since we first scented you. I am sorry if that sounds disgusting, but that is what happens. My animal senses are heightened. I smell, see, hear and taste everything more fully. And I smelled you that first morning when your carriage drew up outside. And I had to find you. I did not fully understand the instinctual drive I felt, but I had to follow it.’
‘Oh, good heavens, that is what has been happening to me. All my senses have been heightened since I met you. That can only mean one thing.’ She wasn’t sure if she felt as distressed as the situation warranted. In a strange way, she was excited by the possibility of a new way of being. It had felt so good to be experiencing life in vivid colour. If the only way she could continue to experience the world that way was by being a werewolf, then it might not be such a steep price to pay.
She decided to explore further. ‘Tell me more about what it feels like to turn. Does it hurt?’
He smiled sadly for the first time, but at least it was a smile not a grimace. ‘No, it does not hurt. You are naked in your cell and, within moments, you fall asleep, or it feels like falling asleep. The next thing you know, you are waking up in the morning with only brief memories of the night before. There are a great many heightened emotions during the lead up to the full moon. Restlessness, tempers. The women cry more easily than normal. Other than that there are only advantages.
‘We have an old lady here called Ellen. She was on death’s door when her daughter turned for the first time in Ellen’s bedroom. The beast bit Ellen and was then shot by her own husband. Ellen recovered from her injuries much faster than normal, and then she surprised everyone by making a miraculous recovery from her ailments. She is still a very old lady with all the complaints of old age, but she is remarkably healthy. Few of us suffer ill-health of any kind, even colds and fevers.’
‘So there are advantages in being a werewolf. Good health, increased strength. Did you not say Byron would not want to take you on because of your strength?’
‘Yes, even though I am almost a head shorter than he, I am probably his equal and more in strength and stamina. And I can drink him under the table, as could even Ellen, if she chose to.’ He chuckled at the thought.
She felt her own lips turn up at the ends. ‘You seemed very much “under the table” when I came in.’
His look of chagrin pleased her. ‘Yes, well, I had finished off nearly two bottles of Brandy before Byron took the second bottle away. But I am certainly feeling its effects now.’
The look he sent her was pure desire and she felt her mouth go dry. Were his inhibitions even lower than normal tonight because of the alcohol he’d consumed?
‘If I am already turned, need we concern ourselves with staying apart?’ she found herself saying before her courage gave out. More than anything, in that moment, she wanted to feel Grand Passion set her flesh on fire again. It was the real reason she had come to Jasper’s room tonight, she now realised.
His sharp intake of breath told her that he understood her meaning. Slowly, she lifted her gaze until it met his bright blue eyes. Once again, she found herself lost in those eyes, mesmerised by them, by him and by the turbulent emotions he made her feel, even without touching her.
Those blue orbs were suddenly half hidden by lowered lids. He sucked at his fleshy bottom lip as he considered her. Then, very slowly, he rose from his seat and came to her side. He reached out a hand and she took it, allowing him to draw her to her bare feet.
‘It may not be the case that your heightened senses are the result of infection. There might be another reason. This is risky. If we do this…’ He sounded troubled and conflicted. It gave her more confidence.
‘Do you want me, Jasper?’
The look he sent her told her all she needed to know. In the next moment, she was in his arms, and his mouth was on hers.
CHAPTER TWELVE
There was a languid certainty about the way they came together, as if it had always been their final destination, and now that they had reached that point, there was no need to hurry. They could take their time and enjoy what they had wanted so desperately, for what felt like so long. That it had only been three days since they’d met seemed wrong. To Fidelia, it felt more like a lifetime.
Jasper’s lips stroked hers sensually, drawing her out, making her feel every slide of smooth inner lip across hers. She could taste the brandy on him and smell it mixed with his breath, but it only made him taste all the sweeter. Passingly, she wondered if her breath was sweet smelling, too. But Jasper seemed not to notice or, more likely, enjoyed her taste.
When the tip of his tongue slid across her lips she opened her mouth a little wider, to give him access. He had taught her to do this. Howard would never have used his tongue in such a way. His lips had always been closed tight and hard when he kissed her mouth, almost as if he didn’t want to taste her. Other men she had kissed had slobbered on her, making her break from the intimacy quickly and with disgust.
But Jasper’s lips did things to her that none had even done before. And his tongue, seeking entrance to her mouth, was an erotic tool that sent her senses spiralling into chaos. Her own tongue began to discover his, exploring the strangeness of the experience, the rightness of it. When he drew back, breathless, she stared up at him, wondering what he felt. She had sensed a desperation beneath the languid heat, a tightly coiled wildness to which he wanted to give free rein. Instead, he held back, teasing and tempting her to ask for more.
And she did. Lifting her hand to his cheek, she stroked the golden bristled surface, revelling in the harsh rasp of it against her sensitised fingertips. Her senses seemed to take in everything. With her thumb, she tested the contours of his lips. When he drew the tip into his mouth and suckled it, something exploded deep inside her and she gasped, eyelids fluttering.
His hands, which had stayed safely wrapped around her, up to that point, were suddenly moving. They slid up her back, along the silk of her gown until they reached the neck of it. Then, very slowly, those hands began to draw the garment from her shoulders. For a moment, she felt trepidation. Only a half an hour ago she had stood naked in front of a mirror for the first time in her life and studied her body. Now she was letting this man see that body. What would he think? She wasn’t a big woman. In many ways, she was built little better than a child.
But from the expression on his face as he looked at her, she need not have worried. His breath caught as his eyes scanned every inch of her, and that gaze felt as real and sensual as his touch.
‘I am not womanly,’ she managed to get out, trying to make him put into words what he saw.
He gave her what she needed. ‘Womanly? Oh, Dee, these fragile curves are very much those of a woman.’ He splayed his hands over the bones of her hips. ‘Wide, womanly hips, covered with just the right amount of flesh. Full breasts that point cheekily upward, made to fit my palms.’
She felt moisture collect between her legs and the feeling embarrassed her. Squirming, she tried to close her legs more tightly. He seemed to know what she was doing. One hand slid down across her maiden hair and into the cleft within. With a gasped ‘Ohhh,’ she felt the slick feel of the moisture across his skin.
‘Your body weeps for mine,’ he breathed out against her ear. ‘Your moist heat calls to me like no other. I want to be inside you, feeling that slick sheath clasping me.’
His words were seducing more moisture from her body, but this time she didn’t fight it. Maybe this was natural. Or maybe it was what werewolves felt. It certainly was like nothing she had ever known before.
When one of his fingers found its way into her body, she arched her back without knowing why. It was instinctual. Everything she did and felt in this moment was instinctual. It was as if her body knew what it was meant to do. And it was not to lie there like a doll while a blundering male spent his seed as quickly as possible in her.
No, this was nothing like that. Her body undulated, trying to feel the texture of his stiff clothes against her naked skin. The chaff of the fabric on her sensitised flesh only made her want more. Her hands, of their own accord, slid up his back and began to pull at his jacket. Understanding her need, Jasper left his exploration to pull off his jacket, and then followed it with the rest of his clothes, including his stubborn boots, in a few hasty movements. She had seen this man naked before. But now, by the gentle glow of lamplight, his body seemed huge and frighteningly masculine. So different to her own. Where she was soft, he was hard; where she was rounded, he was angular. His muscles in his chest flexed as he pulled one boot after the other off his feet.
Then he was back in her arms, and she tentatively began to explore the ridges and planes of his muscles and sinew. Everywhere her fingers went, skin twitched. Her heartbeat drummed in her ears so loud it was deafening. And yet, she could hear him sigh and moan as he let her discover the texture of his flesh without distraction.
But when her fingers moved down to his pulsing manhood, she wavered. She had never seen a male erect before. She had felt Howard’s shaft against her leg, and inside her, but she had never seen or touched it with her fingers. He would never have allowed such a thing. Now her eyes took in the size and girth of this man, fully aroused. The arrow shaped cap of the long thick tube of hard flesh was covered by silk. A drop of liquid, like dew, wept from the slit at the top. She touched it with the tip of her finger and it felt warm and slick, not like dew at all.
Fidelia noticed that Jasper’s muscles had tightened, and the veins had begun to stand out and throb as he held himself tense and still for her ministrations.
‘Am I doing this incorrectly? If I displease you, please tell me. Do not hold back your criticisms. I know I am not – ’
His mouth came down on hers to stop her speaking. The thrust of his tongue was hungry and maddened. When he dragged his lips from hers to rain kisses down her neck, his hands ran roughly across her bare skin.
‘There are no criticisms, woman. What you are doing to me is driving me insane. I am holding myself back from taking you. And it is killing me.’
Shocked by the garbled words whispered so feverishly against her ear, she drew back a little. When her body recognised the truth of them, another wave of moisture exploded from her core. Unable to find the words for what she wanted, she took one of his hands that was pressed to her bottom, and placed it against her entrance, opening her legs a little to allow him access. His long finger found its way inside her again, and they both moaned.
‘I would not kill you, Jasper. Do not hold back any more. I…want what you want,’ she said unsteadily.
And with that, he drew her to the bed and laid her across it. Very slowly, he crawled up the bed until his face was level with hers. Taking her cheeks in his cupped hands, he kissed her tenderly, but with a mounting passion she could sense would not be held in check for much longer. His hands shook as he restrained himself.
He took her hands in his and guided them to his arousal, wrapp
ing them around it so that she could feel it jump and pulse against her palms like a wild thing.
‘Lead me home,’ he demanded gently, seeming to trust that she knew what needed to be done.
But she didn’t. She had never had this level of control in such intimacies. Howard always placed himself at her entrance and then pushed his length into her. He often used his knee to force her legs apart. There was always pain at the beginning and she would tense at the invasion.
Now Jasper was asking her to position him. How could she do such a thing? But her body knew what to do. She opened her legs wide and guided him to the place where his finger had been not long before. Then she shifted her hips so that she could press him into her.
The feeling was new and novel. It was neither dry nor painful. He stretched her, but though uncomfortable for a moment, once he began to make his slow, sliding way in, the feeling of fullness was overwhelming. She felt her inner muscles convulse and loosen, and he slid further into her more easily, faster, until his full length was buried deep.
Fidelia stared up at Jasper’s tortured face. Every line was drawn stark and hard, his full lips having disappeared completely. The vein in his neck pulsed. His breath rasped hoarse and laboured, as if he’d run a long way to get to this moment.
‘You feel better than I could ever have imagined,’ he managed to get out of his tightly drawn lips.
‘Then why do you look as if I am hurting you?’ she couldn’t help asking. Stroking his damp back with her hands, she felt the urge to wrap her legs around his hips. Would that be acceptable? It didn’t matter. She couldn’t have stopped herself doing it if she’d wanted to. With agility she didn’t know she had, she did what her body required, bringing them even more into alignment.
‘Hurting? Oh yes, I am hurting. But it is exquisite pain that will turn into exquisite pleasure as I let myself go. But I want this to last. I want you to know the pleasure to be had…’
