That night I dreamt of Gabriel. He was standing on a mountain, powerful, shirtless, and gazing at the world as if he owned it. His muscles were hard, but not overly defined. His chest and arms were covered with tattoos that seemed to tell a story. They were all in a foreign language, almost like Sanskrit. In the dream I was climbing the mountain, trying to reach him at all costs. The song from “Maleficent” that Lana Del Ray had sung, Once Upon A Dream, was playing softly in the background somewhere.
I was wearing a green dress, the same color as Gabriel’s eyes, and it was flapping in the wind as I climbed higher and higher. When I looked down at the world below, my stomach clenched in fear. I had to get to Gabriel; I just had to. I reached the ledge he was standing on and caught his eye. He looked down at me and was startled to see me there. I reached for him to help me, when all of a sudden I lost my footing and started falling. I screamed, “Gabriel!” and tried to grab a rock or branch, anything that would break my fall.
As I was falling, I saw Gabriel come to the edge and stare down at me in wonder. Staring back at him, I silently pleading for him to save me. He kneeled down, as though praying for the gods to save me, when two giant black wings unfolded from his back. They unfurled slowly, opening to almost a 20-foot span. They were the color of the blackest ink and ruffled in the breeze. He stood up, looked back down at me, and nodded once. Jumping off the mountain, he started flying as though he were a majestic bird, and caught me in his magnificent arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and stared into his emerald eyes, knowing I would always be safe with my angel.
The next morning I awoke in a daze. I wasn’t sure what the dream had been trying to tell me. I had barely known Gabriel for a week, yet something in my heart was telling me he was the one I had been waiting for to rescue me. I rubbed my eyes and stretched my arms over my head. The fur-balls were still sound asleep next to me, and at that moment I had never been more grateful for them. I had rarely awoken to an empty bed, unless Ryan had been an ass and was banned to the couch.
Getting out of bed, I started my morning routine. I knew that I had a lot to deal with: divorce papers, lawyers, and filing. Ugh! I just didn’t want to think about that right now. I needed to focus on getting a much more affordable place and contacting my employer for a short leave of absence. I went to the kitchen to brew some coffee and feed the kids. I grabbed a power bar and my coffee and logged onto my computer.
After perusing the ads for about a couple of hours, I had emailed several potential studio apartments and contacted my boss, who was extremely sympathetic. I had also electronically filed the necessary divorce papers to get the ball rolling. If Ryan wanted it to be over quickly, then his wish was granted. I wanted all traces of him gone. Hanging out with Gabriel yesterday had shown me how far out of love I had fallen with Ryan.
I got up to stretch and took a look around. Ryan was still present everywhere: in my pictures, my knickknacks from our dates, and even in the furniture. Time to put my sleeping credit card to good use. As soon as I had some spare time, I was going furniture shopping at Ikea. I needed a new apartment and new decor to go with the new me.
Today, however, I needed a pick-me-up. Calling my masseuse, who I hadn’t seen in months, I booked an appointment for a little later on. I also needed to visit Bombshell again for something that would knock Gabriel’s socks off. After the way he had touched me and kissed me yesterday, I felt as though he truly saw my beauty and I wanted to amp up my sexiness just for him. He was the kind of guy for which a girl could break her bank by buying loads of lingerie.
I gathered up my keys and wallet and jumped into the Bug. I went to the most relaxing massage of my life, and then headed to Bombshell. I turned on Meghan Trainor’s Lips Are Movin’ and started groovin’.
Chapter 6
Pulling into Bombshell’s parking lot, I got out of the Bug with a bounce in my step. I had a whole lot of hurt inside me, but for today, I was going to tuck it down and be happy. Ryan had created a hole in my heart, but already Gabriel was helping to heal it. I was so excited about our date tonight, that I practically bounced through the doors and smiled brightly at Betsy behind the counter.
“Two visits this week?” she exclaimed.
“Oh girl, the last date was a such a success that there’s another one tonight!”
She smiled knowingly at me, “Tell me everything.” I filled her in about the date, what happened with Ryan, and about spending time with Gabriel yesterday. I left out the naughty bits of course; those were for my ears only. She made the appropriate noises through the story, but I could see her fashionista wheels turning.
“Darlin, I’ve got a few dresses in mind, if you don’t mind wearing a dress.”
“Gabriel loved me in red, so can we stick with that theme? I want him to drool!” I giggled.
She squealed with delight and exclaimed, “YES! I’ve got the perfect dress!” She went to the register and grabbed two champagne glasses, a tiny bottle of champagne from the mini fridge, and turned up the music. Bulletproof by La Roux was on and it totally got me in the mood to shop and dance.
Betsy poured us the champagne and we toasted to new beginnings. I danced around the tank top section, champagne in hand, and looked through some bright red tops. I thought to myself that maybe it was time to infuse my wardrobe with more color; more specifically, more red.
As I was singing aloud, Betsy popped around the tank tops with the most beautiful red dress I had ever seen. It was a bright, maraschino cherry red satin. It had a low cut, square neckline and ¾ sleeves. It looked like it was super fitted and would fall to about my knees. My mouth dropped open and I gasped.
“Bets, that’s perfect! How do you do that? You always know exactly what I want, even if I don’t!”
She threw her head back and laughed, “It’s my job darlin’. Now go try this on while I pick out shoes. But hon, you’ll have to get over your aversion to heels tonight. This dress calls for sexy ass shoes, and flats aren’t sexy.”
I snickered at her thinly veiled insult, “OK Bets, you’re the expert.”
“What are you planning to wear under the dress?”
“Oh shit, umm, Spanx™? I need all this to stay in place in this kind of dress,” I said as I pointed to my stomach.
“Say no more, believe it or not, we’ve gotten a very sexy line of Spanx-like undergarments in.”
“Whew!! I can’t even imagine my mortification of him finding Spanx™ if he were to, um, get a little, uh, frisky…” I blushed.
“Lily, have no fear. Drink your champagne and let me take care of it,” she smiled at me.
Anything Could Happen by Ellie Goulding came on the radio and I continued to dance around and sip my champagne. My spirits were quickly lifting and I was getting more excited AND nervous by the minute. My world had seemed to be falling apart a few short days ago, but now it was like anything was possible.
I met Betsy back by the changing rooms and took everything she handed me to try on. The panties and bra were a very 50’s style black lace. The underwear was high-waisted, promising to hold everything in place. She had also put in a garter belt complete with black thigh highs that had the 50’s style seam on the back. Oh my, I was secretly hoping Gabriel would have a chance to at least see all of this. I had never, ever wanted to show my underwear to any man. I was the girl who wore comfy and practical underwear: not quite granny panties but close enough. My bra never matched my panties, and if I was going to have sex, I made sure all the lights were off. I had a feeling that it would be different with Gabriel.
I put everything on, including the sexy black, patent leather heels, and looked at myself in the 3-way mirror. I couldn’t believe my eyes; I was beautiful. I looked like an old timey pin-up girl! Betsy was magical and I owed her so much.
“Alright, enough! Get out here girl!” she exclaimed impatiently. I opened the door and stepped out slowly, worried she might not see what I saw. Her breath caught in her throat and her eyes sparkled with tears.
> “Hot damn, girl,” she whispered.
“Think he’ll like it?” I asked quietly.
“Like it? He’s going to have an instant boner the moment he sees you!”
“Bahahaha, oh Bets, I love your crassness!”
“Girl, you are gonna knock his socks off. Now go change so I can wrap this up for you!” I went back into the changing room and took another long look at myself. Somehow I knew Betsy was right, Gabriel would love this. I couldn’t wait to see him! I undressed and handed her everything to ring up. I put on my yoga pants and hoodie and joined Betsy at the counter.
“I tucked in some jewelry to go with it too. The earrings are a must, but the necklace is up to you. It will definitely bring attention to the girls, so you choose,” she said.
“Haha, ok Bets, again, thank you so, so, so much! What’s my total?”
“It’s on the house, love. So long as you promise to model this for the spring line photo shoot next week!”
“What? Are you kidding? I’m not a model, Bets!” I exclaimed.
“If you want a free dress, you will be next week,” she countered.
“Touché, my good woman,” I said, “Ok, you win. Just text me the details and I’ll be there.”
“Good, now go have the time of your life and forget Ryan ever existed.”
I gave her a big hug and thanked her again. The bounce in my step had gotten much bigger after trying on the dress and I was practically skipping out of the store. On the drive home I listened to Ed Sheeran’s Don’t and sang at the top of my voice, not letting my worries bog me down. When I got home, I looked at my cell and saw that I had two hours before Gabriel would be here and that I had a text from him.
“I can’t wait to see you, kitten, I can’t stop thinking about those perfect pink lips.”
I sighed loudly, my insides tingling. I couldn’t stop thinking about his kisses either. Now that I had filed the divorce papers, I was free to kiss him as much as I wanted, and I planned to. A lot.
Chapter 7
After getting ready, I was looking at myself in my full-length mirror and trying to squash the butterflies down. I was so nervous that my palms were sweating. As I looked myself over from head to toe, I realized I hadn’t been on a date in at least a year. Ryan and simply lost interest, and I guess I had been too busy with school and work to really notice. We had both been absent from our marriage for a long time and it was just now starting to sink in. I was no longer in love with him, and hadn’t been in quite some time. It didn’t mean that leaving me on a Post-It™ note didn’t hurt. He had been my best friend for so long and now there was a hole in my heart. We had built an entire life together.
Now, I was on my own again and having to rebuild alone was daunting and scary. I needed to remind myself not to jump into anything too fast with Gabriel. My heart was hurting, and I needed to protect it. I still didn’t trust him, especially with him keeping so many secrets from me. A part of me actually feared him now that I had seen another side of him. I didn’t fear that he would hurt me physically; I feared he had the power to break my heart even further. I knew that as much as I told myself to go slowly, I had already fallen hard for him. I had always been that type of girl though, telling myself to take it slowly, yet wearing my heart on my sleeve. I was a hopeless romantic in a world full of cynics, I guess.
I did a slow turn, checking every angle, and making sure all my curves were in check. Betsy had outdone herself this time. This dress made me feel like a super model and the underwear made me feel the sexiest I had ever felt in my entire life. I made a vow to buy more sexy underwear, just for myself. If I couldn’t feel sexy on my own, how could I feel sexy with a man like Gabriel?
I practiced walking in the heels, which weren’t too tall thank goodness. Stopping to pet Poe and Ted, I took a sip of my chardonnay and tried to calm down. Gabriel would be here any second and I didn’t want him to see how nervous I was. I had never been good at playing it cool. Unfortunately, I had one of those faces that showed exactly what I was thinking and feeling at any given moment. It made playing cool somewhat impossible.
I walked into the bathroom, spritzed on one more spray of my Happy perfume, and checked my lipstick. I had gone with the same red from my first hangout with Gabriel, only this time I wanted my lips to look kissable. As I made kissy faces in the mirror at myself, I heard a knock on the door. ‘Here goes nothing’, I thought to myself.
Opening the door, I couldn’t help but gasp at the sight in front of me. Gabriel was wearing a three-piece dark gray, pinstriped suit with a light gray button-up shirt and a pink tie that perfectly matched the pink rose in his hand. His hair was left alone, wild and curly, and falling into one of his beautiful green eyes. Once my eyes reached his, I almost lost my balance. Those eyes held heat and mystery and now, something else I recognized, domination. I briefly wondered how deep his need to dominate went.
“Hello, Lily,” he said quietly, “I see you wore my favorite color.” I blushed and nodded, lowering my eyes so he wouldn’t see how much I wanted him. At this point I wanted to skip the whole date and just drag him into my bedroom, or the living room, or the kitchen. Sigh. He took my chin in his hand and raised it so I was looking into his eyes once again.
“Look at me, Lily. What’s wrong, are we moving too fast?”
“Yes…and no. I don’t know Gabriel. I want to spend more time with you, but I just filed divorce papers this morning. I need to move slowly, as much as I don’t want to move slowly. Does that make sense?”
“Of course, beautiful. I don’t want to rush this. I’ve been waiting for two years to simply be next to you, I can wait a little longer to make you mine.” I looked up at him in confusion and shook my head.
“Then there’s that, Gabriel, you have so many secrets, how am I supposed to trust you? It’s not fair that you seem to know me so well, and I don’t know you at all…or HOW you know me. I can’t willingly get into another relationship without trust! Look at what Ryan did to me. I can’t go through that again.”
“Lily I promise, when I can tell you, I will. For tonight, I just want to take you out for a normal date. I will tell you all about myself, well the stuff that I can tell you, over dinner. Then you can decide if there will be a second date, does that sound fair?” he asked as he handed me the rose. I took it gently and lifted it to my nose, breathing in its heady scent.
“OK, Gabriel, we’ll take it one date at a time,” I smiled over the rose.
“You’re so beautiful, Lily,” he said as he took my hand and pulled me closer to him. He leaned down and put his nose on my neck, right by my earlobe. I heard him take a deep breath and felt his tongue slide gently down my neck until he got to my collarbone where he softly bit me. My breath caught in my throat and my inhibitions began to lower. I swear I was all talk. I was ready to jump headfirst into anything this man wanted. I sighed as he straightened back up and smiled at me.
He held out his elbow for me to take, “Shall we my lady?” I snorted and laughed at his formal British tone and he wiggled his eyebrows at me. I slid my arm through his and closed the door behind us.
Chapter 8
As we drove to the restaurant, I struggled with finding something to say. I had so many questions I wanted answers to, but he refused to give me any. I didn’t want to ruin the night by upsetting him or making him do anything he wasn’t ready to do. He had shown me great kindness and respect by asking me if he was taking it too fast and I wanted to do the same for him. I glanced up at his profile and smiled. I loved his facial hair. It made me want to lean over and nuzzle him. He turned his head and caught me staring and smiling.
“Yes, kitten?” he smirked at me.
“Um, I was just wondering where we were going?” I managed.
He reached over and took my hand in his, “No reason to be nervous, Lily. I won’t bite…for now,” he winked at me. I shook my head, chuckling softly.
“Promises, promises,” I heard myself say. When in the world had I bec
ome so brazen? It must be the new lingerie, as I had never spoken like this before. I had never been so overtly sexual with anyone, not even my ex-husband.
He laughed quietly, “Oh, Lily, I’m so glad we’ve finally met.” I looked at him in wonder, feeling self-conscious. I had never had a guy talk to me like this. No one had ever said they felt lucky or happy or anything along those lines to me. My eyes welled with tears and I turned to look out the window. I didn’t want Gabriel to see how vulnerable I felt.
He squeezed my hand and said, “What did I say?”
“It’s nothing, please don’t worry.”
“No, Lily, something upset you, what is it?”
“I…I…I’ve never had anyone say such nice things to me before. I want to trust that you mean them, but I don’t know how,” I said, turning back to look at him. He slowed the car and pulled over to the side of the road. Once we had stopped, he took off his seat belt and turned to face me.
Deceiving (The Watcher Series Book 2) Page 3
