by Suzan Battah
“What?” she demanded as she wound the window down.
“I just spoke to your mother. We’re not having dinner tonight, the wedding is tomorrow.”
There was a moment of silence, her face heated up with embarrassment. Chris frowned, indicating for her to get out of the car. She sighed, unbuckling her seatbelt and getting out, wondering how to explain it.
“You haven’t been yourself lately,” Chris said. “What’s going on, Julia? I know I’ve been distant lately, with everything that’s going on but… are you okay, baby?”
She laughed a little too hysterically and stopped abruptly when Chris raised a brow at her, his jaw tense. “I’m fine. So I made a mistake. Sorry. Come on, I’m glad we’re not going to dinner, I’m exhausted anyway.”
They walked back into the house straight to her bedroom. Chris looking at her with an odd expression she couldn’t read.
He grabbed her arm to stop her from going into the bathroom. “Tell me what’s going on, Julia?”
“I’m fine, really,” she said weakly, trying to pull free. “Can’t I go to the bathroom?”
There was a tense moment as he looked down into her face. She thought he might see the truth in her eyes. Reluctantly, he let her go, to her relief.
“I won’t be long. Go back to bed.” She shut the door gently, letting out a relieved sigh. Then she switched the faucet on to let the water run, scooping up some cold water to wash her face. All through her mind, she couldn’t stop thinking of how much she needed to get done.
***
The next day, as expected, was busy. She was woken roughly from her deep sleep at 6.30.
“Baby, we’re going to be late.” Chris had to force her to get up, with a couple of shakes before she grudgingly sat up and headed for the shower.
Chris dropped Julia off at Andreena’s house and headed straight for the Augustine to check messages and get ready for the wedding.
“I’ll see you at the ceremony.” He kissed her cheek, before she got out of the car.
No immediate issues arose. Hair, make-up, and photographers showed up at the house right on time. Julia was grateful that everything was running smoothly. She already had an awful headache. She would be no help if needed.
On arrival, the flowers were flawlessly crisp and fresh with sweet scent. Shoes didn’t go missing, and the dress slid on, fitting close to Andreena’s curvy body. Her friend looked beautiful, and Julia was happy for her. Chris stood next to her mother and family during the ceremony. She couldn’t help but keep looking his way. He looked gorgeous in his formal black tie.
The transitions from the ceremony to photographing to the reception went by in a blur. She couldn’t even remember how she got to the reception. With all the details dealt with, Julia hoped she could now relax and enjoy the party and catch up with Chris. Unfortunately, it didn’t work like that. Every time they tried to get close together, someone desired Chris’ attention. Almost everyone wanted to talk to him. Most of her family were meeting him for the first time and she had a large extended group to deal with.
Chris approached the table she was sitting at. “Everything okay?”
Julia was not paying attention at first and looked back at him blankly. A loud buzzing noise started to ring loudly in her head and when she realized it was the sound speakers being tested, she started to giggle a little uncontrollably.
“Jules?” He was looking at her, his brow creased with worry, he rubbed her shoulder to get her attention.
“Chris! Chris!” Another friend of the family called him over as if they were old buddies.
“It’s okay, Chris, go and meet everyone. Come and grab me for a dance later.” Julia squeezed his hand, hoping he wouldn’t notice the slight tremor.
Julia and Chris were swept away from each other every time they tried to get close. Friends and family would come up to them all the time to chat about the bride and groom. A lot of the male guests were keen to meet Chris and talk about sports and cars. They all knew he owned a couple of race cars, and every time he tried to get away, someone else grabbed his arm and started talking about engines.
Over two hundred people had been invited to celebrate Cole and Andreena’s beginning of a new life together. So though she felt like curling into a ball and falling asleep, she kept up a good front and a bright smile. She watched Chris being ushered from table to table to say hello. Luckily, no one suggested she introduce him to her extended family. In truth, she was so tired, she had taken some pills to keep her awake. She was just glad Chris was occupied for the moment and she sat back and tried to relax, determined to see him later. She requested some ice cold water from a waiter, but nothing would take away the painful swimming of her head. Dimly, she realized that something wasn’t right.
The flash of the cameras only made things worse. Julia’s head was spinning and continued on a spiral. Her eyes kept going in and out of focus, but she managed to get through the wedding without breaking down.
The first signs that she felt something definitely wasn’t right was when her hands started to tremble. Every time she touched something, she shook uncontrollably. She couldn’t manage to do the simplest things, and through the heat of her skin, she felt a prick of uncertainty. Her tremors began to get worse. Attempting to calm herself down with deep breaths didn’t help. She lost sight of Chris in the buzz of the reception. Her family were not willing to let him go so easily. Julia didn’t mind, but she had hoped he would have come back already.
There in the banquet hall, energetic music was pumping loudly. Her head felt like it was splitting in two. Many of the guests began to dance. Through the pain and confusion, she had one thought: Where is Chris?
Hours seemed to pass and the night was nearly at a close. A few ballads came on for couples to take advantage of.
Finally, as she was sitting at the raised wedding table, she thought she spotted Chris. He was standing near the stairs leading down to the restaurant. She tried signaling at him to get his attention, but when that didn’t work, she started to rise, seeing her chance to get away.
Andreena was relaxed and past the major drama of the night, so Julia thought it safe to take a breather. But before she could even move, Andreena grabbed her hand.
“Where are you going?” Andreena asked, leaning back in her chair.
Julia hovered by her seat. “I’m going out onto the terrace for some fresh air. Do you need something?”
An elated smile crept onto her friend’s face. “I’ll come with you.”
Julia nodded, then with a grimace behind Andreena’s back, she followed her toward the open doors. They were stopped by some guests for a moment before continuing on their way through the crowd. Julia paused to take some deep breaths, clutching her stomach against the sudden pain. She looked once at the stairs where Chris should have been standing, but he was gone already.
The air near the doors was cool, a refreshing change from the stuffy heat in the reception hall. Andreena waited for her to catch up. “Is everything all right? You don’t look too good,” Andreena said, taking Julia’s arm to lead her out onto the open balcony.
“I’m okay. It’s all good.” She gave Andreena a tight hug.
Andreena pulled away. “What’s wrong? You’re shaking.”
She pulled Julia closer toward the light where she could see more clearly. Julia closed her eyes from the sudden bright light flashing in her face. “I’m all right.”
“Julia, I know there’s something wrong. Sweetie, I know you. What’s wrong?” Her friend continued to prod for an answer.
“Hey, cuz!” Cole came out to join them, grabbing his new wife around the waist and pulling her close to his body. “I’d like to have a dance with my beautiful wife before we have to leave. Have you seen her?”
Julia shrugged with a shaky laugh. “I haven’t seen your wife anywhere, Cole. Hang on a minute, is that her?”
Cole looked down at Andreena, whirled her around, taking her hand as if he hadn’t been holding her
in his arms. “There she is! I’ll have to take her away from you.” Cole winked at Julia, disappearing back inside with Andreena right behind him. Her friend looked back with concern, but only for a second before she was whipped through the crowd.
Julia leaned against the rail, sighing, looking out over the dark night. Bright yellow, blue, and red lights flashed through the black canvas and another sharp pain hit her temple. The sight of the traffic below driving past, cars weaving in and out of lanes, was making her nauseous. She sighed, resting her head on her forearms, trying to think of something else.
“Found you, finally,” Chris grabbed her from behind, his tone so tender tone. “I can’t see any of your family hanging about, so I think it’s safe… Come back inside for a dance.”
Julia pushed away from the rail and bumped into Chris. When she stumbled, his arms automatically moved to wrap around her waist, large hands resting on her hips. He didn’t pull her close, but the contact of his cool skin against her hot skin felt just as good.
“Not yet. I need some fresh air. I’m not feeling too good.” She rubbed her belly, but that didn’t seem to help. The throbbing pain and nausea became too much and she pushed away from him.
He let her go. “Something’s not right,” he said, narrowing his eyes to take a closer look at her face. “You’re trembling.”
Julia closed her eyes and covered her mouth. She turned from his gaze. “I’m not feeling too good. Do you think we can go?”
“What’s wrong?” Chris asked, concerned.
“Don’t worry,” Julia tried to reassure him. “Let’s just go. Go get Dylan, come on. It’s late and I want to sleep.”
He turned her to face him. “Julia, Dylan isn’t with us. What’s going on? Tell me.”
She flinched as the bright light made her dizzy. “I’ve taken some pills to help me stay awake. I’m just so tired still. It’s not helping. I still don’t feel too good. I can’t stop shaking,” she whispered, feeling her chest being crushed in that moment. “And my head is so… so heavy.”
“How many?” Chris grabbed her shoulders a little roughly in his concern.
Julia looked into his eyes and saw the love he felt for her. She sucked in a breath and blew it out. As blackness fluttered in front of her, she felt herself steadied in an instant and lost all awareness of what was going on around her.
Chris had never felt the ice-cold shiver of fear run through his veins before. She looked pale, sweat building up on her brow despite the fresh breeze. Her eyes were coming in and out of focus, dilating in such an unusual way, bloodshot. She looked as if she was on drugs.
“What did you take?” His voice rose with worry.
She stared back at him with empty eyes.
“Tell me!” The urgency in his plea, followed by a slight shake to her shoulders snapped her out of her thoughts, but she just as quickly spaced out again.
“I… don’t… know,” she slurred unable to form words.
“Oh, God.” He swallowed hard. “When? How many?”
“I’m not feeling too good,” she mumbled dully, nearly collapsing backwards.
He supported her with an arm around her waist, searching the large reception area to see if he could catch a glimpse of anyone to get some help. His heart raced double time, and finally he waved over to Julia’s brother next to the dance floor. He was carrying his young son Antonio.
Michael handed over his son to Amy, than pushed through the crowd, who were waving off the bride and groom. He stopped on the threshold. “What’s up?”
Chris moved aside, so Michael could see Julia. “She took sleeping pills or something. I don’t know. She looks high. Look at her eyes, they’re glazed. I don’t think she remembers.”
“Julia… Julia, what did you take?” her brother urged gently in Spanish. “What medicine did you take?”
She didn’t respond, her eyes shutting again. Chris swore heavily. “How many? Were they pills? What was it?”
She kept looking into space like they weren’t there. Michael checked her pulse and then lifted her eyelids and straightened with a frown. “Her pulse is high, her eyes spacey, and she could collapse at any moment. We need to take her to the hospital now. Whatever she took needs to get pumped out.”
As if on cue, Julia grabbed hold of Chris’ arm, retching violently all over the potted plant.
“Good,” Chris said, partly relieved. At least if she was throwing up, whatever she had taken would come out as well. He crouched down beside her and remained outwardly calm, rubbing her back while she started to lean toward him.
Michael nodded. “She’ll be fine, Chris. It looks like it’s wearing off, that’s all. It’s probably a combination of things. We really should get her to the hospital.”
They discreetly left the reception, heading straight to the emergency hospital. They transferred her immediately to a ward, and she spent the night in a private suite, with Chris sleeping in an armchair next to her bed.
***
Julia woke feeling terribly dehydrated, her mouth very dry with a bitter taste. She swallowed a few times, her eyes opening, she glanced around the unfamiliar surroundings with sudden panic until she saw Chris stretched out on the large armchair. The vague memory of Andreena and Cole’s wedding flashed through her unclear head. She was in the hospital. It was all coming back to her. She closed her eyes.
He knows!
Chapter Nineteen
Chris pulled into the Augustine parking lot. He could sense Julia shifting uncomfortably in the passenger seat next to him. They had been silent on the drive over from the hospital. He was glad, for at this exact moment he had no idea what to say to her. Considering the harrowing night he had just spent in the hospital, he wasn’t in the least surprised that she was fidgeting, nervous, and silent.
He planned on getting to the bottom of this particular incident. Julia had a way of keeping things to herself.
“Could you take me to my place, please?” Julia muttered, clearing her throat, he could hear the thick emotion in her voice.
He looked at her hard, ready to argue if need be. “You’ll be staying with me for the next few weeks, or at your mother’s house. I’m going to take some time off work. You have a choice of where you want to stay, either way, it doesn’t bother me. I can take you to your mother’s place. But I thought we might have some privacy first to talk.”
Julia covered her face with her hands. “Oh God! Mama knows everything, doesn’t she? Do Andreena and Cole know?”
“They don’t know. They’re on their honeymoon. Julia…”
“Good, because it really was nothing,” she said firmly. “I’m serious, there’s nothing to talk about. I’ve been exhausted. Okay, it was bit of off timing, but I’m feeling much better now. There’s nothing really to discuss, baby. Don’t worry about it, everything will go back to normal.”
The way she shrugged it off as if what happened was nothing annoyed him enough for him to snap. “I don’t think so, Julia.”
She looked back at him with surprise. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“The truth for starters. Why didn’t you come to me? Why don’t you talk to me?”
She grabbed her handbag, immediately defensive. “I didn’t come to you because you’ve got more important things to worry about than me. I can take care of myself. I don’t need you.”
Chris grabbed her wrist before she could open the door and get out of the car, saying quietly, “What did you say?”
She looked back at him, her eyes glassy. “Okay… that was unfair, I’m sorry. I’m just exhausted, why are you turning this into a big deal?”
Chris cupped her face tenderly, tilting her chin up until she looked back at him. “You need to slow down and rest before you do yourself harm. You could have died.” His voice rose in his agitation.
“I wasn’t going to die, I just made a mistake. I’m not an invalid. I don’t need a babysitter,” she snapped peevish at the constant coddling, twisting away from him.
“My knee hurts all the time, I’m in pain, and I couldn’t sleep. So I needed something to help me out. Medication is common, you’re making it out as if I did this on purpose!”
“I didn’t say that.” He sighed, wondering what he could say to get through to her.
She continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “I needed something to keep me awake. So maybe I took more than I should have. I made a mistake. I was too busy… I wasn’t thinking with a clear head, I assure you it won’t happen again. Besides, having to sit through a psych consult explaining to that patronizing doctor that I wasn’t trying to overdose on pills is enough to make any sane person crazy! I was not trying to kill myself, Chris. I would never! You could have been more supportive.”
Chris was at his limit in the argument. She wasn’t listening. He threw his hands up in the air. “Supportive! I watched you collapse right in front of me. I had no idea what you were on. You don’t talk to me! You hide what you feel. I can’t… I can’t read your mind, Julia. If you’re tired, tell me. You live in this solo world, sometimes I have no idea what you need. You hide so much.”
They were silent for a few moments after his outburst. He was out of his league in dealing with Julia. Chris had seen her struggling, sensed her battle yet had been so focused on Dylan that he hadn’t done anything. Now it had come to this.
“I just needed to stay awake and then I needed to sleep,” she muttered more forcefully. “How many times do I have to say it? I’m not addicted to painkillers. Stop looking at me like that. What do you know anyway? Have you ever taken care of someone other than yourself?”
Chris swore heavily and watched as her eyes widened and her face turn pink at his choice of words. He didn’t like her brushing the whole incident off, dismissing it as if it was unimportant.
“Let’s go open your eyes a bit.” He turned the ignition on and reversed out of the car space. He put the car into gear and headed out of the Augustine with the faintest squeal of tires.
