“What if you’re wrong Reece? What if he really is trying to help you?”
He shot me a loathsome look. A darkness I’d never seen in him seemed to be scratching and clawing to the surface. “Then I’m in worse trouble than I can imagine.”
My teeth chattered. This was it. The awful feelings I had a few short weeks ago. I’d been right when I said Rebecca would be involved. And here it happened she was the catalyst.
As if he could read my thoughts, “Jenna, what did you mean when you said something big was coming? Did he tell you anything or was it just the vision that frightened you?”
I wasn’t ready to talk about it. Wasn’t ready to share the sordid details of something that repulsed me, leaving me questioning everything I knew to be true. I had to tell Reece. I needed his reassurance, but not just yet.
I shook my head. “He didn’t tell me anything. He didn’t try anything inappropriate. He didn’t threaten to hurt you in any way. The only thing Tyler tried to do was help. He even offered to get you.”
“Then why didn’t he?”
That Reece even had the nerve to ask told me he didn’t comprehend, couldn’t fathom the gash he put in my heart at shutting me out while he and Rebecca were behind a closed door. And no matter how many times I would try to explain, he wouldn’t understand.
For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction, said Newton, so I gave it to him. “I told him not to. I didn’t want to see you. At that moment I didn’t know if I’d want to see you ever again.”
Reece’s grip on the steering wheel tightened. He kept his eyes on the road in front of him, continuing to drive. For the time being, speaking ceased.
* * *
Every now and then I’d sneak a peek at Reece from the corner of my eye. The look on his face grim, his jaw clenched, head tilted. I heard him on more than one occasion sigh, his hand raking through his disheveled hair.
The doom and gloom I felt mirrored his angst. He made no effort to prod and get me to speak. He let me sit there in silence stewing and simmering.
I wondered where my Reece was hiding. The carefree, self-assured boy I fell in love with. If he shone through and swore nothing happened with Rebecca, I’d have no choice but to believe him, but this Reece replica, I couldn’t bring myself to trust.
The houses around us started looking familiar.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked.
“Home.” He answered. “You said you wanted to go home.”
I nodded, looking down at my hands resting on my lap. “I can’t go home like this. My parents will know I lied to them. Take me to Grace’s house.”
“And then we’ll talk?” He pleaded.
I agreed. “And then we’ll talk.”
Chapter 38
Grace opened her front door. I could see a wave of relief wash over her as she soaked me in. Without thought or hesitation she threw her arms around me and squeezed.
“Where did you go?” She asked. “You had everyone so worried.”
I pulled back so she had no choice but to release me, allowing oxygen to once again flow unimpeded to my lungs. “Sheesh, exaggerate much?”
“Sorry.” Openmouthed, her questioning eyes darted from me to Reece standing behind me.
I passed her and continued walking without pause, straight to the living room, where I half sat, half collapsed on the couch. Sapped of all my energy, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.
I felt bad for snapping at Grace, and for how I jumped to the worst conclusion about Reece. I wanted to hit the reset button on the whole, long evening. I tried to visualize white light soothing me, giving me strength, knowing any moment Reece would be at my side, expecting to rehash tonight’s events.
I opened my eyes when I heard Grace clear her throat.
“So, um, I’m going to go to my room and listen to music,” she motioned her hands in the direction of her bedroom in an awkward gesture, “loud music. Just give a call if you need anything. And Reece, stay as long as you . . . want.” Her voice dropped at the end, as if she wasn’t sure she should’ve said that. “Well, goodnight.”
I expected Reece to sit down on the empty cushion next to me. He didn’t. Instead he hesitantly lowered himself onto the love seat, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his hands folded together. He seemed so far and closed off. Staring at him sent a sharp sting through me, like tiny icicles pricked my heart.
Mistaking the sad look on my face he stood and said, “Fine, I’ll leave.”
“No!” I squeaked.
Reece froze, waiting. I couldn’t meet his eyes yet, I didn’t feel strong enough. But I had to make a decision. I could perpetuate the fight without hope for reconciliation, or I could heed Tyler’s warning that things aren’t always the way they appear.
I looked at him dead on and shook my head, ready for the twists and terrifying drops of the upcoming roller coaster ride. “No. I promised we’d talk.”
His face eased. He didn’t look happy, but the over-the-top-strung-out look softened. “I thought we were past these trust issues.” His eyes dropped, “Especially with Rebecca.”
“Me too.” I remember watching him make his way through the crowd in his suite. His reaction when she reached for him.
And then when he found me with Tyler, he could’ve reacted the exact same way, with irrational jealousy. But he didn’t. He didn’t throw accusations at me. He took the bait Tyler so skillfully laid, ready to fight for me, fight for us. Maybe Tyler had a point. I was too ready to give up. I understood my fear drove that compulsion, but would Reece?
I wanted desperately to feel his arms wrapped around me and lose myself in the warmth and solace of his embrace. I wanted to hear him whisper declarations of love to me. None of that would happen, could happen, if he kept himself so far away.
Something in his demeanor, I knew this time he would respect boundaries he never did before. I’d let my irrational jealousy push him away over and over again. I couldn’t sit back and wait for him to make the next move, to push beyond my comfort zone. This time I had to take the lead.
I cleared my throat. “I believe you. That nothing happened with Rebecca.”
His whole body seemed to soften with the breath he released. “Jenna, I’d never purposely hurt you.”
“I know.”
I did. I never needed words to know how Reece felt about me. When I clung to him out in the grass I would’ve felt a shift of energy. While I was so freaked out I didn’t notice our special electrical current, I did recognize I wanted him. I felt safe, and warm, and most of all, protected in his arms.
“Reece?” Knowing he wouldn’t do it, I got up and moved next to him.
Surprise wore on his face. He probably thought I’d just backup and retreat within myself. He reached his hand to the back of my neck and stroked gently. The intensity of his eyes had me convinced he’d do just about anything I asked, so long as it was humanly possible. “Yes?”
I wrapped my arms around him and leaned my head against him. He responded in kind, holding me close and kissing the top of my head. I meshed with his form, melding into the peaks and valleys of his chest, fitting perfectly, like a lock and key.
This is how we were supposed to be.
I closed my eyes and listened to the cadence of Reece’s heartbeat. I continued to breathe and relax in his embrace.
“Why do you let Tyler get to you?” I’d been thinking it and wanted to bite my tongue to shut myself up as it slipped out.
I felt tension in his body at the mention of Tyler’s name. “I can’t believe you would even ask that.” He let go of me. “Five minutes with him and you were convinced he wanted to hurt, no, I believe your exact words were, ‘destroy me.’”
I shifted, loosening my hold on him so I could look at his face while I spoke. “I know, but I’m worried about you.”
He nodded, ran a hand through his hair and looked away. “I’m not sure what exactly is going on, but if Tyler’s right, it’s not g
ood.”
I shook my head. “No, Reece, that’s not what I mean.”
Catching on, he narrowed his eyes. “You mean out in the grass? That’s what happened?”
I nodded.
“Tell me! What’s he going to do to me?” He demanded with urgency.
I shook my head. “You have it all wrong.”
“Jenna, if you don’t tell me I can’t protect myself I’ll be blindsided, just the way I was today.”
I stayed quiet a moment, contemplating if I should continue. I had no choice. I had to at least try to stop it. “Do you have a hunting knife or a gun?” I asked.
“He’s going to try and kill me?” He moved back, a few inches, fury building in his eyes. “Guess I shouldn’t be surprised.” Reece saw how unnerved I got. He pulled me to him again, stroking my hair, “Don’t worry. I’ll be ready.”
“Stop!” I implored him to listen, “It’s you,” I shrieked. “You were the one. I saw you fighting, bloodied up. You were the one who pulled a gun. You were the one who shot to kill.”
He smirked looking amused. “Did I? Kill him?”
“This isn’t funny Reece!” Exacerbated, I got up and walked away, turning my back toward him, crossing my arms tight across my chest. “I know you don’t believe in my feelings or my visions, but I do, okay? So the least you can do is humor me.”
I felt his hands on my shoulders, the warmth of his breath on the base of my neck. “I’m sorry Jenna.” He said in between soft, tender kisses. “I do believe in your gift. I thought you knew that.”
I turned to face him, my eyes questioning his sincerity.
“I just hope knowing a bit about the future means you can change it.” He paused to kiss me again. “Besides, I told you a long time ago, I’m a lover not a fighter.”
“When it comes to Tyler, it’s like I don’t know you at all. You seem so angry and irrational.” My teeth chattered. “I’m really scared.”
Reece held my face in his hands, forcing me to look in his eyes. “I give you my word, I will not try to kill Tyler.” He paused. “Not unless he seriously hurt you or my family first.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.” He sealed it with a quick kiss.
Reece pulled away and looked as if he wanted to say something. I didn’t let him. I wasn’t interested in words. I needed to feel that we were okay. I wrapped my arms around his waist and nuzzled up against him. He was slow to respond and lacked the interest and intensity I expected.
Thinking his mind might still be on Tyler and the warning I gave him, I put more energy into engaging him. I stood on my toes, hands running over his arms and back, enjoying the familiar contours beneath my fingers. My lips grazed his neck until his mouth searched for my own. The fluttering in my stomach began at the same time as an explosion of yearning and need.
My fingers combed through his hair, winding and pulling him to me. I inched closer, as close as I could, pressed my body against his. The intensity continued to grow, our mouths kissing and tasting, our hands exploring and caressing. Reece crushed me avariciously against him. Nothing in my life felt more right than being with him at that moment.
The passion and longing I’d struggled to restrain, took control of me. I wanted him. I didn’t care we were in Grace’s living room. I knew she wouldn’t come out, not unless we called her, or she heard some serious fighting, coupled with glass and furniture breaking. Breathing hard, ready for the next step, knowing what ever came next could never be undone, I lifted the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up.
A shockwave tore through my body. I froze. The feeling was sudden and startling, like someone yanked my hair hard from behind, and doused me with freezing water. Something was very wrong. I sensed an emotional hesitation just as he pulled back, breathing hard, and leaned his forehead against mine.
“Jenna,” he took my hands in his own. His wide eyes were serious, and held a weightiness I’d never seen in them before, “We can’t do this.”
Déjà vu.
The room spun around me. Even when I closed my eyes, I felt the whirring and whizzing of the room, like riding on a carousel at eighty miles an hour. I was tired and confused. The sharp ache in my chest told me I wouldn’t like what came next.
I covered my mouth and backed away from him.
He was quick to close the distance. He grabbed my shoulders gently and eased me back down on the couch. “We need to talk.”
Reece sat next to me leaving some space between us. He raised my hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Tyler’s claiming he overheard these strange men in his father’s office asking about me. He claims they’re Feds.”
“Why? What do they want?”
He shook his head, “I don’t know. Hell I don’t even believe he’s telling the truth.” His eyes fell for a moment and returned with gravity as they met mine again. “But I have to at least consider he might be. And if he is . . . I’m in trouble,” he stated, “I mean serious, in way over my head, deep water trouble.”
My gut twined.
“Have you done anything wrong?”
Reece shook his head, “No. Nothing besides changing Tyler’s grades. And it can’t be about that, the charges were dropped and it wasn’t that serious. No one was hurt. I didn’t distribute a virus or anything like that.”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t worry.”
His eyes sought mine. “I’m not. I just want you to be prepared . . . in case.” Reece’s eyes fell again.
“In case what? You know I’d do anything to help you.”
“In case I have to leave to figure it out.”
“Leave?” I said in a low tone, feeling both rejected and dejected at the same time.
“It’s not like I want to.” He swallowed hard. “That’s the last thing I want. I’m just saying it may have to be a possibility.”
“Why? I don’t understand.”
Reece looked off to the side and shook his head. “If Tyler is telling the truth, if he’s right, I need to keep you out of this, whatever it is. And Jenna, you need to stay the hell away from Tyler.”
“I get that there is some twisted rivalry thing going on between you and Tyler, but if he were that bad, why would he try to warn you? Why would he send Rebecca to tell you?”
Reece narrowed his eyes, anger burning in them, “So he could set up a scene like the one we fell into. You hate me, and he plays the hero.”
While I accused Tyler of the very same thing earlier, I no longer believed it. “He could’ve, but he didn’t. I don’t think so, Reece. There’s got to be more to it.”
He shook his head, “I don’t want to waste time arguing about Tyler.” He sounded stern, and I realized the subject was closed. I’d drop it for now, but I still had my doubts about Tyler being the bad guy in the scenario.
“In between talking with Rebecca and looking for you, I called my father, to give him a heads up.” Reece continued. “He’s got some influential connections. He’s looking into it.”
A storm of guilt short circuited my brain. I’d been so wrapped up in the drama I created, so afraid and insecure, I never even bothered to consider Reece. How many times did he allude to being in trouble? Allude? He outright said it, and I just let it go over my head.
“I am so sorry,” my eyes stung, filling with water.
He smirked, “Not as sorry as I am,” he stroked the side of my face. “If this is real, I have to fix it, or else I’ll have no future.” He choked out. “Nothing to offer you. Nothing to offer myself.”
My heart broke for him. I chose to push back the ache in my chest, took his hand and held it between both of mine. I fought to keep the tears in my eyes instead of spilling down my cheeks. “That’s not true. You’re all I need.”
“It is true and you know it.” His tired, heavy eyes made him look older than his years. Old and broken.
“It’s going to be okay, Reece. We’ll figure this out together.” I swallowed hard, hoping I sounded more convincing than I felt.
&nb
sp; He shook his head. “This is on me. I got myself into it. I’ll find a way out. I promise.” He looked sincere, he sounded convincing, but there was more. “Jenna, do you remember the night we met?”
“How can I forget,” I answered with a smile. “My whole life changed that night.”
“Mine did too.” He seemed to lighten a bit at the memory. “I want to you remember everything about that night. Everything. It’s important, okay.”
“You’re not making any sense. Reece what are you going to do?” A surge of panic surfaced.
“Nothing right now.” A look of steel came over his face.
I shivered reaching out to touch him, feel the warmth of his skin. Like a crack in glass spidering out from its core, desperation coursed through my veins.
“I love you. I want to help you.”
His mouth covered mine, softly, carefully, like he was afraid I’d break. “Just know that I love you and only you. I mean know it.”
“I do.”
He pulled me into an embrace and held me tight. “It’s really late. You need some rest.”
I shook my head and swallowed hard, afraid if he walked out the door I’d never see him again. “You can’t just leave it like that. I have so many questions.”
“We’ll have time to talk tomorrow.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Get some sleep.”
“Only if you’ll stay with me.”
He nodded. “I’m too tired to drive now.” He paused. “Besides, there’s nowhere else I want to be.”
I knocked on Grace’s door, positive she wouldn’t have a problem with Reece spending the night. She offered to give us her room and sleep in her brother’s, since she had a full bed and he only had a twin. I saw no need in playing musical beds, besides, I didn’t want room. I wanted to spend the night in a crowded bed pressed up against Reece. And if one thing were to lead to another . . . all the better.
As we lie together, I tried to convince myself this was the worst of it, the not knowing and not having a plan. In the morning, he’d give me more details, and we’d both be calmer, more rational. I’d convince him to let me help, that I could be an asset to him.
Heart Waves Page 21
