by Jessie Cooke
“Was that true? Did he love you more?”
“I guess. I'm not even convinced he loved me as much as he was just obsessed with taking care of me. I'm a grown up though. I don't need to be taken care of. My new old man lets me live my life...the only thing I really miss about Beau was the way he fucked me. Nobody has come close to that...”
“I don't want to hear about that part.” Kimber cut her off. Natalie was raising her eyebrow again but Kimber went on. “Tell me about his ‘accident.’ What happened?”
“I don't really know. He went to New York on a run and never came back. They told me he hit a pole and the gas tank exploded. A lot of his body was burned...”
“But you saw him...his face?”
She made a face and nodded. “Yeah, they let me see him and they left the casket open at the funeral...covered the burns with a suit.”
“So...you didn't actually identify him by his tattoos or anything?”
“No! His body was burnt! Where is this going or coming from, Kimber? This is weird.”
“Didn't you ever wonder if it was really him?”
A strange look crossed her face but then she said, “No, of course not. I told you, I saw him!”
“Natalie, did you tell his brother he was dead?”
She was taking a drink of her iced tea and suddenly she was choking on it. Kimber sat calmly and let her sister spit tea all over the table. When she finished choking she said, “Okay, what the fuck is this? How did you know he had a brother?”
“That's not important. What's important is that you did...and you called to tell him his brother died, didn't you? And someone out there in California told you Nick Blackwell had gone out to Jersey to visit his brother...so you knew there was a chance it wasn't him, didn't you?” Kimber didn't know anything she was saying to be true. All she knew was that if it had been her, she would have wanted to let his brother know. She was guessing the rest...but the look on her sister's face told her that she was guessing pretty damned close to the truth.
“Marcus told me...”
“Marcus had him killed. You knew that too, didn't you? Or at least, you suspected it.”
“No...” Natalie was shaking her head. Her blue eyes were wide.
“I live in an MC too, remember? Nothing like that happens without whispers and rumors...Mammoth pissed off Marcus somehow, Marcus had him killed, only maybe he had the wrong brother killed. And you know what the worst part of all of that is to me, Natalie?” Her sister didn't answer. “The worst part is that you didn't care enough to find out if your fiancé was really dead...and even suspecting that the club president had him murdered, you still stayed. You just moved on to the next man, maybe this one is more fun...maybe he likes to party as much as you...maybe he doesn't nag you about drinking too much...”
“Shut up!” Natalie slammed her palms down on the table and pushed herself up. “You don't know what you're fucking talking about. He suffocated me! I was in a fucking MC because I didn't want to be Susie Fucking Homemaker. He took me away from one prison and right into another. His fucking love was exhausting and yes...I wasn't broken when he died. I didn't want him dead Kimber...I just wanted him to leave me alone. That's why, when I started wondering if the wrong brother was in that box, I didn't go looking for him. Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear? After all of these years you just wanted to look me up and put me down one more time, is that it Kimber? You always were jealous of me. Is your life so miserable that you want mine to be just as bad?”
Kimber looked around the small diner. Everyone was listening to their conversation, and although she wasn't ever one to make a scene, she realized that she didn't care. She stood up and said, “You're right, Natalie, I was always jealous of you. I realize now that I wasted so much energy on that. Yes, you're gorgeous...on the outside. But inside you're a lot like her.”
“Fuck you! I'm nothing like her!”
Kimber knew differently. Their mother had been the most self-absorbed person on the planet...and a raging alcoholic. She suspected her sister was both. She wasn't going to argue the point with her however. She'd gotten the answer she'd come for. Natalie didn't want Jigsaw back and Kimber could actually walk out of there knowing that he was better off for it. She hadn't come here worried about her sister taking him back...she just wanted to make sure she wasn't cheating Jig by hanging onto him. Now for once she actually believed that she really was the better woman. There was one more thing she needed from Natalie, however.
“The man that you never grieved losing, is still alive,” she said in a whisper. “They killed the wrong man, an innocent man. You stood by and didn't say a word about that and if your club president knew that, he would be very unhappy...don't you think?”
“How do you know?” Natalie asked. “How do you know it wasn't Beau?”
“Because Beau has been in my bed for a year now. He lost his memories, but he has them back now. He's an amazing, wonderful person and a true gentleman. So when he gets his head around all of this, he'll seek you out. He'll be worried about how you're holding up. When that happens, you're going to tell him that your heart was broken and you got into the relationship you're in now on the rebound. You're going to tell him he was always right...you were his Delilah...but now you're a tree and you can never be together.”
“You're fucking crazy.”
“Maybe. But I'm crazy about that man first and foremost.”
“And you're afraid he'll want me back. Maybe I'll take him, just to teach you a lesson.” Kimber's chest hurt when she realized that Natalie even sounded like their mother. Her words used to wound worse than her backhands, or the belt when she was really out of hand.
“You can try, but I'm not worried,” Kimber told her. “My only concern is how vicious I know you can be, and I won't have him knowing you didn't even grieve his death. So, hear me good this time. You tell him your heart is still healing, a year later. You put on one of your academy award winning performances and make him believe it...or I make sure your club finds out that you knew he was still alive all this time, and you did nothing.”
“You're a fucking bitch.”
Kimber smiled and picked up her purse. “Only when I'm protecting my family.”
“I'm your family.”
With a sad smile Kimber said, “Not anymore. Have a nice life Natalie. I truly hope you wake up one day and realize what you're doing to yourself...before it's too late.” She walked away without hearing what Natalie was saying. There was nothing else left to say. She'd finally let herself see her sister for what she was and even though it wasn't pretty...she felt like she was better off for knowing the truth.
19
The men pulled their bikes up out in front of a row of office buildings downtown. Jigsaw and Dax got off their Harleys and the rest of the men stayed outside while they went inside the door that read, McAllister, Accounting Ltd. A nice looking middle-aged woman sat behind the desk and when they walked in she smiled and said, “Hi, can I help you?”
“Yeah darlin',” Dax said. “We're here to see Mr. McAllister. He's expecting us. Tell him it's Dax Marshall.” Dax told Jigsaw before they came that he'd met Ian McAllister once, years before. Ian had approached him with a similar deal that they had forged with the Blackhawks. Dax turned him down. The Skulls did some arms dealings, mostly with the street gangs that worked the area, so that wasn't what Dax had qualms about. It was the fact that getting involved with the IRA would be akin to giving up their autonomy altogether. The deal Dax did make with the IRA was that they would steer clear of their territories and alliances and the Skulls had kept that deal. Dax was smart enough to know that with the IRA there were no “casual business partnerships,” It was all or nothing with them, and they owned their “allies.” Nobody owned Dax Marshall or the Skulls. It was another thing Jigsaw was proud of.
The receptionist pressed in a number on her phone and told the person on the other end that Dax Marshall was there to see him. She looked up and smiled again
and said, “Go ahead and go on back.”
Dax thanked her and he and Jigsaw went around the counter and through an office door. A middle-aged man in what looked like a five-thousand-dollar suit sat behind a large oak desk. He smiled and stood up when he saw them. He was definitely the man that Jigsaw had remembered from the tele-conference in New York that day...the one he'd been on his way to see the night he nearly died. In a fairly thick Irish accent Ian McAllister said, “Dax! It's been too long. I would ask how you're doing, but I hear great things.” He put his hand out and Dax shook it.
“Things are good,” Dax said. “Ian, this is my associate and friend, Jigsaw.”
The man laughed as he shook Jigsaw's hand. “Jigsaw, huh? I love the names you boys give each other.” Jigsaw saw Dax flinch slightly out of the corner of his eye at the “boys” remark, but he let it go. Dax was good at picking his battles, great even...and that one wasn't worth picking. “Have a seat and tell me what I can do for you. Have you finally decided to come into the fold?”
Dax and Jigsaw sat down in the plush leather chairs opposite the desk. Dax chuckled and said, “No Ian, but you wouldn't want us now anyways. We've got ATF breathing down our necks and trying to come up with something they can charge me with.” Dax had that almost completely under control, but Ian McAllister didn't need to know that. It was a good way out of having to listen to Ian's pitch again.
“That's too bad. But...I have some contacts...”
Dax chuckled again. “Thanks Ian, but there's something else we need to talk to you about. I know that you have a business arrangement with the Blackhawks and I heard you've been talking to their allies, the Knightriders about the same kind of deal. I know that they'll all be here next week for a meeting with you and your partners.” Ian sat up straighter in his chair and gave Dax a look that said he was concerned that Dax thought any of that was his business. It didn't seem to faze Dax however. He went on to say, “I have firsthand knowledge that Marcus Finch, the president of the Knightriders is a pedophile...and, he not only tried to rape Cyclops' fourteen-year-old daughter last year, but he threatened her family's life if she told anyone. In my experience, a middle-aged pedophile that puts his hands on a kid, is not usually a first or last time offender.”
A dark shadow passed across Ian's face, but like Dax, he was good at controlling his facial expressions. In a voice that was still calm and even he said, “How do you know this?”
“Because I saw it happen,” Jigsaw said, finally speaking. Ian looked at him then and said,
“This happened a year ago and you're just now telling someone? You protected a pedophile for a year? How many other little girls did he defile in that time?”
“Take it easy, Ian,” Dax said. “There's a good reason for him not coming forward sooner.”
“I'd like to hear it,” Ian said. Dax looked at Jigsaw and nodded. For the next fifteen minutes, Jigsaw told the other man everything he knew and what he had only just recently remembered. When he finished talking Ian said, “So, he thinks he killed you? He didn't know about your brother?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Your brother's own club never came looking for him?” Jigsaw's chest hurt. Before they went into the city to meet with Ian, they had spoken to Chase. Chase had information for him that had finished breaking his almost broken heart.
“They weren't expecting him back. He left the club before he came out to see me. He was dying.”
“Dying?”
“Yeah. When we were kids, he had a malignant brain tumor. He'd been in remission for a long time...but I'm told that it came back and he only had months to live. At least, that's what the doctors told him. He put his affairs out in California in order...” Jigsaw's voice was cracking and he felt like he could hardly breathe as he said, “In order to go out to Jersey and spend his last few months with me.”
“Damn,” Ian said. “I'm sorry to hear that. So, while he was in Jersey, you were already on your way to Boston...to see me?”
“Yeah. I sat in on that meeting in New York. I heard Cyclops and his president making plans to meet with you the following day and I saw them leave for Boston afterwards. It's probably why Marcus was bold enough to go after the girl, knowing her father was out of state by that time. Anyways, when I was either on my way here, or rehabbing at the ranch, they found my brother, thought he was me, and killed him. Knowing Nick, he probably thought he was protecting me by not telling them they had the wrong man. He knew he was dying anyways...” Jigsaw had to stop. His throat felt thick and he was getting sick to his stomach.
“So, you,” he said, looking at Dax, “believe our venue next week is a good place for this confrontation to take place?”
“I want this man put out of commission,” Dax said, about Marcus. “But I don't want to get my club into a war to do it. If Jig rides in there making accusations that the little girl might be too afraid to back up, a war is exactly what will ensue. But, if he has your backing, here on neutral territory...”
Ian nodded. “I'll have to speak to my own business partners, but I completely understand what you're saying...and I trust you, Dax. It would probably hold more weight if the young lady was willing to tell her father what happened, but I'll do what I can on this end to arrange for you,” he looked back at Jigsaw, “to speak to all of the executives that will be assembled in my conference room next week...unarmed and unable to leave until I have them escorted out. There won't be any bloodshed in my place of business however...that's where I draw the line. You'll have to leave your gun outside the same as everyone else.”
“That's fine,” Jigsaw said. “Once I tell Cyclops what I saw that night...and the other executives in the club realize Marcus was willing to kill one of their brothers to hide the fact that he's a disgusting pedophile...I'm pretty sure I'll be the least of his worries.”
“You don't want to kill him?” Ian asked. He sounded surprised and Jigsaw didn't blame him. He did want to kill Marcus, badly. But Dax was the one that had talked him out of it. Jigsaw hadn't ever killed anyone and as much as revenge sounded sweet, Dax could speak from experience that it wasn't always all it was cracked up to be. Sometimes setting things in motion and allowing someone else to take out the trash was a better way to go. Jigsaw trusted Dax and he wanted this all to be over, so he'd agreed. Now he just had to manage to get through the following week somehow...and finally he'd have his day in court so to speak. He was almost sadistically looking forward to seeing the look on Marcus's face when he walked into the room. That part would be the sweetest.
“Noble,” Ian said.
“No,” Jigsaw told him, “noble would be forgiveness. I have none of that in my heart or my head for this man. I want him dead, but I want him ruined first. Once I ruin him, I'm sure his death is guaranteed.”
20
It was Friday morning. Five days had passed since they'd met with McAllister, five slow days as far as Jigsaw was concerned. He went to work every day in the shop with Toolie, unless Dax needed him at the construction site and then he went there...but even when he was working, he couldn't keep his mind off what was going to happen on Monday morning. He also couldn't stop the memories from flooding his brain now that he'd opened the dam. He was reaching way back...little bits and pieces of what life was like before his parents died seeped in. He had a vague memory of his mother's face, a pretty dark-haired lady with big brown eyes and a sweet smile. The memories he had of his father were even vaguer. He just remembered him as a giant, and that could just be because the last time he saw him he was only four years old.
He had a lot of memories of Mamaw now though, and she was really something. She loved to dance. She told the boys that she could have been a famous dancer if she hadn't met and fallen in love with their grandfather before getting her big break. She danced while she cooked, while she cleaned and sometimes even while she watched TV. Sometimes one of the boys would dance with her, but mostly they just giggled at how silly it was for an old woman to use a vacuum or a broo
m as a dance partner. She was super smart. Jigsaw remembered that she read everything she could get her hands on and there wasn't ever a question either boy asked her that she didn't know the answer to...or at least where to find it in a jiffy. She went to church every Sunday and she wanted the boys to go too...but, she told them their relationship to God was up to them and when they got old enough to stay home alone, she left the choice of whether to stay or go, up to them. Being pre-adolescent boys, they chose to stay home and sleep for the most part. Every now and then Beau would go with her, just so she didn't feel bad. Nick had a thicker skin than his brother and he had no problem sleeping in until noon on Sunday and skipping the whole thing. She was strict and she demanded respect, but when one of them were hurt or sick, she could be the softest, most nurturing woman on the planet. He missed her and he'd give anything to go back in time and dance with her or get up more Sunday mornings and go to church with her. He learned at a young age that life is short and you should spend as much time with the people you love as you can. That had worked to his detriment in Natalie's case...or maybe it hadn't. Most of the memories he had of his relationship with Natalie were wrought with angst. He thought he was in love with her then, but when he thought back on it now he wondered if he had confused love with the feelings of protectiveness he had toward her. Something about her had made him want to be her guardian angel right from the second he met her. Eventually however, she got tired of him being around all the time and her pushing him away only made him think he needed to try harder. He couldn't see it then, but in hindsight he could see that it had been a miserable relationship between two lonely people that had no idea what they were looking for. He knew she was with Vince now, and he hoped that she was happy. But, he also knew that he couldn't get closure on the past without talking to her face to face at some point...and that he was dreading.
