“This rain is awful. Jeanie talk to me I know something’s wrong your never this quiet for this long. I’m your sister tell me it’s breaking my heart to see you like this.”
“I’m fine, go back to Jayne before you catch your death.” Jeanie waved as she walked away desperate to put her sisters mind at ease. She was heartbroken and as much as she tried she couldn’t suppress the feelings she had. The thought that James was different was almost tearing her apart.
Unable to swallow Jeanie’s response Ivy stood in the cold drowned by the droplets which by this time looked more like a tropical monsoon than a rainy day in England.
Watching her sister walk away she couldn’t help but feel powerless to her plight and now her head faced the floor. The weight of the rain took its toll however the weight inside seemed to hold her deep.
Jeanie’s head swam questions most of them surrounding James’s. Jeanie hoped home was to be a cure however she now found it too difficult to tolerate and she was too hurt to respond.
The fact was she detested her own lies and knowing she had never lied to her them before made the truth harder to swallow. She had created speeches in her head over and over again about how he was no longer her future however nothing seemed palpable. After all how can you politely put:
“By the way the man who said he was in love with me and proposed after the first 4 hours has now decided to sleep with a nurse and now it’s all over.”
It sounded ridiculous. It felt ridiculous and to even be this upset after so little time spent together didn’t feel justified.
Jeanie spent her days waiting for work, waiting for more questions and waiting for the rain to finally subside.
Deep puddles had sprung up all over town and even the narrow bridge had become swamped by the bursting river. Everything seemed to buckle under the weight of water and army personnel.
Jeanie’s usual trip to work seemed to long and arduous since the rain and as army carriers passed her she tried to dodge the waves of sludge and water. Jeanie felt the puddle of water wash over her like a tidal wave even the frogman’s jacket she was wearing didn’t help. Screaming at the passing trucks not one stopped to help her on her way.
Arriving at the base Jeanie looked more like the swamp creature turning up to reek havoc rather than the chief engineer ready to start another day at the garage.
Opening the door she saw the fire was already lit in the workshop and Mike had already left a series of notes around.
“Thought you would need this.” The arrow pointed to the wood burning stove inside Jeanie’s office and as she began to take her sodden clothes off and hang them over a make shift washing line she shuddered at the thought of making the same trip home.
Stripping down to her vest and pants the warmth from the stove made her feel sleepy. The dark skies made the day feel more like early evening and the big oil soaked chair reeked of comfort. Settling down to drink her brew, Jeanie heard a knock at the door making her spring to attention. “Sorry, I didn’t want to scare you,” Jeanie stood with a blanket wrapped around her, “What is it John,” Jeanie was abrupt if somewhat obtuse at his calling.
“I have to take the general down to the Grand Hotel. Can you give me the figures and vehicles completed and not completed I need them for a meeting in the morning.”
“I have a couple of outstanding notes, but I’m sure I can have things ready for you within an hour.” John nodded his head before closing the door he turned and responded, “By the way nice washing line.”
As the door slammed shut Jeanie saw the washing line fall to the floor, spilling her soggy damp things all over the room. Mumbling under her breath Jeanie got re-dressed and started to gather the information John required.
On opening the shutter the rain pored through and it was still torrential. Rivers washed down the gullies and the grids had started to over flow in the yard.
Making her way to the Main building and cursing John for making her venture out again she reached the main reception. The receptionist looked perfect no sign that the weather had even touched her and as Jeanie glimpsed at her reflection in the large gothic mirror which embraced the wall her feelings of self consciousness started to rise.
“I’m sorry Jeanie you might be able to catch him at the main gate but he’s already left.” Swearing under her breath, Jeanie placed the documents inside her coat and as she waded through the streams she eventually reached the private on duty.
“Are there any more cars going to the Grand tonight?” The private stuck his head out of the gatehouse trying to avoid the torrents that had started to beat down.
“Not that I know of think you just missed the last one. It’s about five miles over that hill if you fancy a short cut.” Jeanie smiled sarcastically muttering death threats to John as she made her way.
Walking in the wet and cold she couldn’t help but curse as the climb up the hill felt hard and the mud beds had deepened due to the extra water.
Reaching the top gave her a glimpse of the Solway Firth its heavy clouds surrounded the hills into Scotland and as the stormy waters crashed out she watched in awe at the violence of the storm.
Seeing the road at the bottom she descended carefully feeling the earth slide beneath her feet. Her large coat inhibited most of her movement and the last thing she wanted to do was fall she was wet enough and she didn’t want to add mud and cow shit to the equation as well.
Reaching the gate at the bottom she felt a sense of achievement after all she hadn’t fallen. As she climbed over the rain pored harder and faster than before making her feel like her ordeal was never going to end. The only she wished for now was a nice hot bath and a warm cosy bed.
Throwing herself over the fence and onto the road Jeanie found herself in a puddle which resembled a small lake trying to shake off the water she smiled under her breath, “Well it can’t get any worse….”
Waddling through she heard a car from behind and hurrying up before the inevitable Jeanie got her boot stuck in the mud. Dislodging her foot from her boot Jeanie fell backwards into the puddle. As the car passed the wave submerged her in the cold dirty water.
“Thank you dick head!”
The car slowed and stopped and seeing it back up the lane Jeanie waited for the abuse. As the window opened Jeanie cursed.
“Come back to have another look have you.” John’s face scrunched up in laughter, Jeanie still murmuring under her breath she looked up.
“Might have known it was you.”
“Jesus Christ who let the swamp monster out! Get in the car I was coming back to pick you up.” Jeanie sloshed her way around to the passenger side and waded in through the door. She was black, dripping and smelly.
“You stink, I’m sorry Jeanie but phew.” Jeanie sarcastically smiled and pulled the document John had been waiting for out of her jacket and placed it carefully on the seat at the side of them.
Driving down to the sea front Jeanie couldn’t believe how many people had descended on this small town. RAF personnel filled the streets and the rumble of Lancaster bombers rippled through the sky line. Wrens lined up at the front of the hotel and as John leant over and signalled to Jeanie that it was time to go she started to panic.
“I can’t go in their like this look at me I’m a mess,” John shook his head and routed around in his pockets, taking a key out he threw it over to the passenger side.
“I’ve got a room at the side of fire escape make your way up and get changed. Oh and have a wash because you smell like a cow’s arse.” Jeanie snatched the key off him agreeing with his observation. Hiding in between cars she made her way up and onto the fire escape feeling like a criminal with every step she took.
On the other hand the place was swarming with RAF personnel and knowing most of them she didn’t fancy any of them taking the piss out of the unfortunate situation she had found herself in. Wandering up the fire escape she crept through the door and into the corridor which in contrast to her was painted a soft yellow. Whispering
under her breath she hurried through the door and into the room.
An open fire was lit in the bedroom and a balcony looked over the sea front. She could see the waves crashing against the shore line in the storm. Taking off her clothes she felt trapped as everything stuck to her as if it was made of glue. Standing naked in the bedroom she hunted around for something to wear. John’s bathrobe was hung on the back of the door and finding nothing else she covered herself.
As her bath beckoned she knew she might be recognised and wearing John’s bathrobe was only going to get her in more trouble. Negotiating the hallways and quickening her pace she searched for a relatively close bathroom.
Knocking politely and hearing no answer she ran through and locked the door behind her. Jeanie’s eyes lit up as the steam warmed through her bones and as she lay in the hot soapy water her thoughts drifted back to having to re negotiating the hallways as not to stir up suspicion.
Creeping back into the bedroom she changed into John’s pyjamas and sat on the floor, she could hear the water outside and buzz of people downstairs however she was just glad to be warm.
Drying her hair in front of the fire she remembered her kiss with James and warm glow of the embers on her back. Feeling the warmth Jeanie lay down and watched the fire burn. James felt distant and the happiness she felt for that brief moment seemed like a lifetime ago.
Drawing up the blanket she curled up in front of the fire. Jeanie felt the death of what could have been and mourned for the life she may have had. The only thing she had left was the memory of that night and as she listened with intent to the storm outside she washed her pain away.
As John entered the room he found Jeanie asleep at the front of the fire. Her hair had grown long and had started to curl down her back and the fiery red tint made it look as if the flames were dancing around her head.
Placing the blanket back over her he walked over to the window and watched the storm. It had been a long night and as he looked back he revelled in how peaceful she looked.
Underneath his breath the words,” if only” spluttered out as he took another sip of his brandy. Rubbing his temple he looked out to sea and felt as defeated as the shore line.
The evening had be long and drawn out and the fight was still raging overseas however the burden of his responsibility had started to become overwhelming.
Leaning on the windowsill he gazed into the night searching for answers. Jeanie wearily arose as she stood against the fire place hearing the words fall from his lips again.
“What’s why if only.” leading her to bed he placed her under the covers. “Go to sleep it doesn’t matter.” Jeanie lay looking at him his gaze out of the window, his sadness and loss emulated her own feelings.
Jeanie couldn’t help but be inquisitive and as she watched him loosen his collar and take off his tie off she tried to understand his thoughts.
Picking up his glass he sat down on the chair with his back towards her, Jeanie felt for him and in a lot of ways growing up hadn’t changed him. When something was on his mind or when he was trying to be a gentleman he would never look at her. He would pretend everything was ok by blanking her out. She knew he was putting in the effort to make her feel comfortable.
Jeanie got out of bed knowing the consequences of her actions. Walking over to the window she took his hand.
“I know what if only means and I know you want me, I’m here John why not show me.” Before Jeanie had time to finish her sentence John picked her up and threw her against the wall. Ripping at her shirt he kissed her ardently. Smoothing his hands over her thighs and hips he started to undue the buttons on the shirt. Her eyes blazed with the desire of his touch and even though she knew it was wrong she couldn’t help herself.
Without word he carried her over to the bed. He’d longed for this moment, he’d dreamed about her wanting him and now she was his present to love cherish and undress.
Jeanie felt his body react as the intensity between them grew. He made every button seem like an eternity and as he took his shirt off he started to kiss her neck and continued his way down, drinking in every curve as they started to make love. Jeanie felt his heart beating with exhilaration and as she slid her body over his thighs he moved her hair away from her neck. As she moved close he kissed every inch of her collar bone and as he made his way down Jeanie hissed with satisfaction.
“I love you Jea” as the slow movement of his body made Jeanie climax he wanted more. Her body screamed out again wanting more of him inside her and as he moved his hand slowly over her back and down to her thighs he held on tight and couldn’t let go.
There bodies moved in perfect synchronicity and every motion seemed to spring excitement.
“Please don’t stop.”
“I’m never letting you go.” As her whisper electrified breathlessly on his kiss he had to taste more. John moaned as he went deeper into her experiencing everything she had to give.
Wrapping her hands around his neck she nuzzled into his jaw line as she rocked gentle up and down every nerve ending seemed to explode in rapture. Feeling John climax Jeanie’s body reacts to his ecstasy falling beneath a tidal wave of pleasure.
With Jeanie still in his arms he didn’t want to move just in case it was a dream. Everything he had ever felt had led him to this perfect point and as he kissed every finger he never wanted to let go.
Jeanie stared into his intense gaze knowing that from the moment she got out of bed this was what he wanted and what she expected. He had felt so right but underneath the nag of doubt inside shrouded what should have been the perfect moment.
“What are you thinking? I know your thinking about something cause of the line in your brow.”
“I’m thinking you’re going to be the death of me John Stanton.” Laughing timidly he ran his nose over her forehead and kissed it sweetly.
“I love you so much.” Turning on her side Jeanie felt his warm hand caress her stomach. As he circled her hip she closed her eyes remembering his promise.
“I need to know something.”
“Anything”
“Maybe it’s morbid curiosity John but how do I compare to everyone else.” Taking a large drag of breath he sat up pulling her into him so he could face her.
“Nothing has ever compared to you. Ever.
I have been in love with you my whole life and tonight I have realised what I have missed. I have missed a life time of making love with Jea and I’m not going to loose you again. So trust me when I say that there has only ever been you and from this point on that’s how I want it to stay.”
Placing her hand on his cheek Jeanie pulled him close and kissed him softly and as she ran her thumb along his lip he kissed her palm.
“Why do you do this to me John Stanton? Why do I let you in?”
“Because you love me. You always have and I’ve been a fool.”
Jeanie pulled the sheet around him and as he settled in beside her she could feel the sleep pull on her heavy eyelids.
Not able to lift his gaze John watched her sleep unable to wait until the morning. He wanted to scream out loud that she was his and how this was their new start and how much he had longed for his life to include her.
As the wind howled around the building and the sea started to break over the defences, watching the chaos in the dark he knew at least for tonight she was his.
Chapter 10
As dawn broke Jeanie arose to John dressing, “Good Morning, Miss Rutherford I care you slept well”
“Where are you going?” Kissing her on the forehead and hesitantly looking for missing items of clothes he responded.
“Breakfast you wore me out last night and I’m starving I will bring you something back stay here” Kissing her again Jeanie straightened his tie and pulled down his collar and as her fingers grappled with the starched cloth he cupped her hand lovingly
“I love you” Jeanie kissed him softly again feeling his heart beat pick up pace again. “I know.” moving the hair away from her sh
oulders he smiled softly in complete satisfaction.
“I promise I will make you happy. I don’t ever want to loose you again. My life hasn’t been complete and now…” Jeanie placed her finger on his lip and as a lone tear stained her cheek he wiped it away.
“Please don’t cry. I hate it when you cry.” Wrapping his hands around her he pulled her close. The stale musty smell of his uniform jacket invaded her nostrils and as the prickles dug into her cheek she wanted to believe him. Running his hand over his cheek he kissed her softly and as the taste of her salty tears ran down his throat it made him gasp in pain.
“I’ll be back in an hour don’t move. I love you.” Dropping her hand as he left Jeanie watched reverently as the door closed. Knowing she was in his room would have disgraced both of them and that was a risk even she wasn’t going to take.
After an hour and a half of waiting Jeanie’s patience had worn thin and as she put on his shirt and spare trousers she carefully stepped out. After hiding around a few corners and sneaking through reception Jeanie made her way into a small conservatory room.
Breakfast seemed to have been and gone and just like John it was nowhere in sight. Moulding her way into the corner of the room and trying to stay unnoticed she desperately looked out for him.
Making eye contact with a glamorous young woman who walked past and sat at the bar Jeanie tried to remain as inconspicuous as possible.
The woman looked at Jeanie with contempt and as she leaned in to get the waiter’s attention she looked decidedly confused about Jeanie’s ambiguous position.
“Can you tell my husband I will wait for him in here he’s late?” Slipping money into the waiter’s pocket, she oozed grace and sophistication “Apologies madam who is your husband?” Jeanie couldn’t help but stare she was stunning. Her wide blue eyes and golden skin distracted Jeanie from her goal of finding John.
Edging back into the corner the woman continued to look confused about Jeanie but continued her conversation with the waiter. “I’m looking for Colonel Stanton.” Jeanie’s heart sank and in her bemusement she fell over the pot she was standing besides.
In any ordinary life (In any oridnary Book 1) Page 11
