by Holly Jacobs
This trip had been a means to get him away from the memories, to help him start to heal.
She hadn’t planned on taunting him and making him feel he had to prove himself by kissing her.
Then she went and made the hot kiss hotter.
She’d just ruined a lifelong friendship over a rampant case of hormones. She was despicable. Pathetic. Lower than a worm.
She sank farther in the tub. She’d seduced her best friend with a week in paradise.
Well, there was only one thing to do.
She jumped out of the tub, tossed on the bathrobe the resort so thoughtfully provided and opened the door. Jack was on the patio staring at the sky.
Never one to back off from an apology she knotted her belt and marched up to Jack. She patted his back.
“I owe you an apology,” she said when he turned.
“You’re right you do. The chem lab wasn’t a kiss.”
She waved her hand in the air. “Oh, maybe it wasn’t, but that’s not what I’m apologizing for.”
Jack took a step toward her. “It’s not?”
Carrie shook her head, taking a step backward, needing to keep some distance between them.
“I, uh...”
He took another step.
“Stop that,” she said in what she’d intended to be a yell, but had come out a breathy sort of whisper.
“Stop what?” Jack asked. There was something in his eyes that she’d never seen before, and it would have scared Carrie out of her socks had she been wearing any. As it was, the bathrobe she’d knotted around her waist suddenly felt as sheer as silk instead of the sturdy terry cloth she knew it to be.
Jack reached out and put his hands around her waist.
“You’re stalking me like some wild animal on the prowl. Stop.”
“I’m not...” He paused and then grinned. “Okay, maybe I am.”
“Why?”
The question stopped him short and his playful smile slipped a notch. “Something happened tonight.”
“Something that never should have happened,” she said. “We’re friends and that...”
“Kiss,” he supplied when she paused. “That kiss, Carrie.”
For years she’d maintained the mouth-to-mouth was a kiss, but Carrie wasn’t about to call what they’d done tonight a kiss. The mere thought made her nervous. “That momentary lapse of sense should never have happened. We’re friends. That’s all. It was a mistake.”
“Tonight was unexpected, but I don’t think it was a mistake.” Jack reached out and put his hands around her waist. “You’re a beautiful woman inside and out. What happened was special to me.”
“You’re stalking me again.”
“No. I’ve caught you. And I want to try another lapse of sense, if you don’t mind.”
“And if I do mind?”
His hands were no longer on her waist, but tracing the belt to the knot. He tugged at it.
Carrie knew she should run, she should scream and shout. It wasn’t right, she knew that. Carrie didn’t want Jack on the rebound. She just wanted him to see her as more than a little sister, and slowly, maybe he’d see her as a woman, someone he could learn to care for.
“We shouldn’t,” she said, with absolutely no conviction in her voice.
The knot gave way and Jack’s hands moved beneath the robe. “Shouldn’t what?” he said, his lips moving to her shoulder.
“You’ll hate me in the morning,” she said with despair. “It will change everything.”
That finally stopped him.
Jack’s hand went under her chin and tilted it upward until she was forced to look at him.
“It doesn’t have to,” he said with certainty.
What had changed between them? Jack couldn’t figure it out.
Ever since he’d waxed Carrie’s legs, there had been something between them he’d never suspected before.
And when he’d brought his tipsy best friend from the airplane to the hotel? The feelings he’d entertained hadn’t been friendly, they’d been hot.
He’d been relieved when she’d kicked him out and undressed herself. He’d thought he could walk away from those feelings.
But now, standing here with her, only a robe separating them, Jack knew he couldn’t escape these feelings. They were growing stronger minute by minute.
He wanted her. Wanted her in a way he’d never wanted anyone else, not even Sandy.
What had changed?
“But it will make things different,” she said. “If you, if we... Jack, if we do this, things can never go back to what they were.”
“Maybe they’ll move forward instead?” Moving closer, Jack feathered kisses down her neck.
Holding Carrie, kissing Carrie felt right. It felt as if after years of searching he’d finally come home—home to Carrie.
“I don’t know if this would be moving forward. I don’t know if it’s what I want,” Carrie said, though she knew it for the lie it was.
She just didn’t know if it was what he wanted. He needed more time to recover.
He didn’t believe a word of what she’d just said. And the look he gave her told her more clearly than any words he could have used.
“You’re sure that no is your answer?” His hands dropped from her body and Carrie almost wept from the pain the loss of contact caused.
“It’s the only answer I can give,” Carrie said, reknotting her belt.
“Well, if that’s it, then that’s it. Good night, Carrie.” Without another word, Jack turned and walked into the room, threw the comforter and a pillow onto the floor and crawled into his makeshift bed.
Carrie stood on the patio, watching the ocean for a long time. Tonight was a memory akin to the chem lab kiss-that-wasn’t. It was a memory that she’d hang on to for the rest of her life. And hard though it was, she was sure she’d made the right decision. She couldn’t allow herself to use Jack that way.
She wouldn’t do it. He didn’t realize how precarious his emotions were. He was on the rebound. It had been months since the breakup, but rather than healing, he just seemed to plod forward. It broke Carrie’s heart, knowing he wanted something he could never have. The fact that he wouldn’t talk about Sandy only reinforced her belief in his grief.
Tomorrow she’d try to get him to forgive her and put their friendship back on track.
Her fingers brushed her lips.
No, after having been really kissed by Jack, there was no way she’d ever mistake his mouth-to-mouth as anything but.
Hours later, she tiptoed into the room and crawled in bed, with her bathrobe still knotted in place. Her dreams that night were filled with sweet fantasies about her life if only Jack had loved her.
~~~
Jack jogged up to Carrie’s perfect hiding place. She’d known he’d find her. Jack had always found her when she was hurt and confused. Most of the time he was able to ease the tempest, but this time he was the cause of it.
She hugged her legs to her chest and watched the dark clouds rolling in off the ocean. The weather suited her mood. Dark and troubled.
She watched him jogging toward her and her heart gave a little skip. She squashed the emotion, having become accustomed to ignoring the longing after all these years. However, having experienced a taste of what loving Jack could be like, the feeling only intensified.
“Good morning,” he said easily as he reached her rock. “Got room for someone else on there?”
There was enough room, barely, but it would require them to sit awfully close. Too close. Carrie shook her head. “Why don’t you take that one next to me?”
What looked like disappointment flitted across Jack’s face, but he sat on the stone she’d indicated.
“You’re up early” was all he said.
She shrugged, unwilling to admit she couldn’t sleep with him so close. Her dreams hadn’t helped.
“So, are we just going to pretend that last night didn’t happen?”
“If you wouldn’t min
d,” she answered, ever the hopeful optimist.
“And if I do mind?” he asked gently.
“I’d still rather not talk about it. I do owe you an apology, and I offer it now, but couldn’t we just chalk it up to an aberration?” Carrie was desperate. It was too soon for him. He was still mourning the loss of Sandy.
Someday, after he’d healed, she would make a move. But not now. Not yet.
Jack looked at Carrie. There was a quiet desperation in her that he’d never seen before. She had as much as admitted to him that she’d had a crush on him once upon a time, but he’d been too young, too inexperienced to recognize it.
And then there was Sandy.
Sandy Baker, flight attendant, every guy’s fantasy. And she’d chosen him. Four years they had been together. Somewhere along the line he fell into the habit of thinking he loved Sandy. But, nine months ago when she’d moved out of their apartment, they’d both admitted what they had wasn’t love. It was merely comfortable. And yet, they’d never gone further than living together. With Sandy’s job as a flight attendant she was gone for long stretches of time.
It took Sandy’s injury to force them to examine their relationship, or lack of one.
They had nothing in common.
Their parting had been easier than either had thought possible. That was what had been eating Jack for the past few months. That maybe he wasn’t capable of truly loving a woman.
And now?
He was pretty sure what he was looking for had been under his nose all along.
He thought he’d loved Carrie as a friend. And he did.
But if last night was any indication, that love could be something more.
Maybe it already was.
The idea made him smile.
But it was obviously scaring Carrie to death. The last thing Jack wanted to do was scare her, to hurt her.
He found himself saying, “If that’s really what you want.”
Carrie just nodded, but still didn’t look at him.
Jack reached for her and she pulled away. Convincing Carrington Rose Delany that they could be more than friends was going to take some work. Convincing her that the something they could be was even better than what they had been was going to take even more.
“Mrs. Richardson called after you left,” Jack said, keeping his distance.
“Oh?”
“I hope you don’t mind that I told her we’d have dinner with her and Herb tonight.”
“Dinner?” she asked absently.
She watched the water as if she expected some cousin of the Loch Ness monster to appear at any minute.
“Yes, Carrie. Dinner. You know, that meal that comes after lunch.”
She nodded and he beat down his frustration and added. “We’re meeting them at seven. I hope that’s okay.”
Again, just a nod.
“Are you just going to keep nodding your head at everything I say?” he asked.
She shrugged this time.
“You know, we’re going to have to talk about this sometime, don’t you?” he tried.
“Talk about what?” she asked, feigning ignorance.
Jack sighed. Dealing with Carrie was something he thought he’d perfected over the years, but he was beginning to see that he’d just scratched the surface. “Have it your way. We won’t talk, won’t even mention it.”
“And won’t repeat it,” she said firmly.
“If you say so, we won’t. Just stop this silent treatment and talk to me again.”
She finally turned and really looked at him, not through him or past him. “Okay, what should we talk about?”
“How about what we’re going to do today?” he asked.
He’d broken through her icy reserve and that was enough for now.
Later, he’d worry about what to do next.
The last of her iciness melted.
Jack felt relieved. “They have that water park, I thought it might be fun.”
“A water park?” she asked.
“Yeah, you know with slides and wave pools. It’ll be fun.”
She smiled at him encouragingly and Jack knew he’d do anything she wanted, from water slides to bathing with piranha, if she’d just kept smiling at him.
“Okay. Let’s go change, grab something for lunch and then go,” she said.
Carrie was off the rock in a shot.
She seemed relieved that they were done talking about last night.
Jack just smiled as he watched her scamper toward the hotel.
He was a lawyer, something Carrie frequently forgot.
He’d promised they wouldn’t talk about it again, but when she asked him to promise not to repeat last night, he’d simply promised not to repeat it if she said so.
Jack didn’t just plan on her saying so.
He planned to have her begging him.
~~~
Carrie slipped a sundress on and scuffed her feet into her sandals.
Her sunburn had faded to a dull pinkish brown. She wasn’t even sure that she’d peel. Oh, how she hoped she didn’t peel. There was nothing attractive about a woman who was shedding her skin.
She took it back.
She hoped she peeled.
She almost wished she hadn’t slathered sunblock all over her abused skin before they had headed for the water park that afternoon.
She hoped she peeled so bad that children screamed when they saw her.
She hoped she looked so bad that Jack wouldn’t even begin to think about kissing her.
But peeling skin wouldn’t stop her from thinking about kissing him. Carrie doubted anything would.
She wasn’t about to kiss him again. At least not until he was over Sandy.
For years Jack had been with Sandy. A few months wasn’t long enough to heal.
He was still hurting.
Carrie could see it in the way he threw himself into his cases.
She could see it in his tired expression.
She could see it in the lack of women in his life.
If he had a new girlfriend, maybe she’d make a move. She could fight another girlfriend. She couldn’t fight a memory.
Maybe, after he’d had more time and truly healed, maybe there wouldn’t be more women. Maybe he’d finally notice that Carrie wasn’t his little sister—that she’d never been his sister. Maybe...
She put away the maybes and checked herself in the mirror.
She looked okay.
When she’d come in from the water park she’d almost let out a yelp when she caught a glimpse of her Medusa hair and makeup-devoid face.
It had been worth her looking like a witch, though. Jack had enjoyed himself. He’d laughed and smiled and run around like a little boy. For a while at least he was the old carefree Jack she used to know, not the stodgy, workaholic lawyer who had been hanging around the past few years.
She jumped when she heard the pounding on the door. “Come on, Carrie. This is just dinner with an old teacher, not a night at some award show.”
“I’ll be right out.” Men.
“You said that twenty minutes ago,” he said.
“And now I’m twenty minutes closer to being done.” She could hear him muttering outside the door and smiled as she ran eyeliner under her lashes.
His grumbles made her relax.
They were back to normal. She and Jack had put the kiss behind them, at least for now, and they were back to being friends. Good friends.
Best friends.
Things were normal and this afternoon just proved it.
She looked at her reflection and patted a stray strand of hair into place.
Things were back to normal all right and tonight would just be a dinner with an old schoolteacher.
~~~
Things were not back to normal.
That much was clear an hour later.
Carrie nudged at Jack, trying to push him out of her personal space.
He didn’t seem inclined to move.
“And then w
e went to the Cayman Islands...” Mrs. Richardson continued.
Carrie didn’t mind letting the woman monopolize the conversation.
As a matter of fact, she doubted she could have conversed if her life depended on it. She was too busy fending off her ex-best friend.
Jack’s arm kept creeping over her shoulders and she kept shrugging it off.
Then his hand would fall, oh so innocently, on her knee and she’d try to nonchalantly smack it off.
He’d reach past her for the salt and accidentally graze her breasts with his forearm, though she knew their size made them difficult to accidentally graze. Their size made them almost impossible to purposely graze.
“Darn it, cut it out,” she growled in his ear when Mrs. Robertson paused and said something to the silent Herb.
“Temper, temper. You don’t swear, remember?” Jack whispered back and smiled.
“I do when you...”
“When I what, darling?” he asked, the picture of innocence.
“Don’t call me darling,” she said a little too loudly.
“Oh, I just love it when Herb calls me darling,” Mrs. Richardson cooed.
Carrie was sure she did. The woman was probably thrilled when Herb said anything at all, much less whispered an endearment.
“I just don’t care for public displays of affection,” she said as primly as she could manage.
That famous Mrs. Richardson finger bobbed in reprimand. “Now, Carrie, that’s not how I remember it. As I recall you and Jack have had some very public displays of affection.”
“See, darling,” Jack said, a heavy emphasis on the darling. “You’re just going to have to get used to my public displays.”
As discreetly as she could, Carrie elbowed him. He let out a very satisfying grunt. “Oh, I’m so sorry, dear. You’re just sitting a little closer than I’m used to.” She batted her eyelashes at Herb and said, “You never told us just what you do.”
“Oh, Herb,” Mrs. Richardson answered for him. “He’s a telephone solicitor. Talk, talk, talk. That’s my Herb. Lucky for him I just love listening to his dulcet tones.”
Jack started choking on the water he’d just sipped.
