“They’re not Yale good, but they’re okay.”
“I’m not sure you’d like Yale, anyway.”
“Why? Don’t you?” I asked, picking up something odd.
“Yeah, it’s okay.” I glanced over at Brianna and noticed she hadn’t said much of anything. Brianna and Kellan hadn’t said more than two words to each other since their flight landed. But, I assumed I was partly to blame since I had been talking non-stop since he landed.
“What’s wrong?” I asked him.
“Nothing. Why?”
“I don’t know. You just don’t seem yourself.”
“I’m fine,” he said unconvincingly. He glanced over at Brianna, but she didn’t say anything, she just looked down at her hands in her lap.
The rest of the ride was spent in amicable banter about nothing in particular and I was surprised when the Benson’s stopped to drop me off and Kellan came with me.
“You’re not going to Brianna’s?”
“I see her all the time. I came home to see you. I told you I had something for you.”
“I don’t need a present…you’re here. That’s all I want,” I said, looking up into his baby blue eyes.
“Kellan?” Brianna said, getting out of the car and closing the door.
“Yeah?” he turned toward her.
“We need to talk about…this.”
“I know. I’ll be over later.” He put his arm around me and walked me into the house.
“What’s going on between you two?” I asked him once we were inside.
“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
“It must be something,you hardly said two words to each other, and she didn’t even kiss you goodbye,” I said, not that I minded. I hated to see them kiss.
“Don’t worry about it. We’re not sure…just, never mind.”
“Not sure about what?”
“Nothing. Here,” he said, handing me a wrapped package.
“It’s nothing to read, is it?” I smiled at him.
“No. There’s no lesson to be learned. It’s just something I thought you’d like.”
I looked down at the box and ripped open the paper. It was a snow globe, and it was beautiful.
“I know you said you’re mom collected them, so I thought maybe you’d like to, as well.”
“It’s the most beautiful snow globe I’ve ever seen. Thank you,” I said and reached up and hugged him.
We talked for a while and finally he said, “I guess I better face the music. I’ll be here at nine am and we can go to the swap meet…just like old times, okay?”
“Just you and me?”
“Yeah, I don’t think Brianna’s much in to swap meets,” he said, looking upset.
“What’s wrong? Are you two fighting?” I asked. I had wanted them to break up since the moment they started dating, but seeing how upset Kellan was, I realized his happiness was more important than my unrequited love.
“Not…really. I better go.”
“What does ‘not really’ mean?” I asked.
He sighed and said, “Remember what I told you about being careful?”
“Being careful?”
“Yeah, you know, like it tells you in that book?”
“Oh, you mean about sex,” I said and blushed.
“Yeah,” he sighed, “Well, I didn’t follow my own advice. Brianna’s pregnant, or she thinks she is.”
“Oh. I guess that doesn’t fit into your plans, does it?” I asked.
“No, but I don’t have anyone to blame but myself.” He looked around my room and said, “You remember that when you start dating.”
I nodded, not sure what to say to him at that moment. Finally, I said, “She didn’t seem too happy about it either, did she?”
“No, but what’s done is done.”
“What are you going to do, now?”
“Marry her.”
“What? Are you serious?”
“I screwed up. I have to pay for my mistakes.”
“I know you...love her, but do you want to marry her?”
He ran his fingers through his hair and said, “No, not really. Not right now, anyway. But, I’m obligated, and it’s not fair to her to have to go through it alone. And, there’s no way any kid of mine is going to go through life without a father, you and I both know what that’s like. I won’t do that to my kids.”
“Does she want to marry you? Oh, of course she does. That was a stupid question.”
“I don’t know if she wants to get married or not, but I have to ask…I guess.”
“You don’t have to marry her…just because you…” I blushed.
“Yeah, Abby. I do.”
He hugged me goodbye and promised to see me in the morning.
I went to bed that night and had horrible dreams. I was so happy to have Kellan home, but I was devastated knowing that he was probably going to ask Brianna to marry him. I knew I was sad because even though I knew he didn’t love me…like I loved him, and I had no chance of having him for myself, but more importantly, I was sad because it wasn’t what he wanted.
He came by the house in Brianna’s car and picked me up. He took me out to breakfast and then to the swap meet. He spent more money on me and I finally said, “Kellan, please don’t spend your money on me. I have everything I need…now that you’re home.”
“You deserve more. Nancy is awful…”
“I know, but she doesn’t bother me too much.”
“Yeah, that’s because you’re not a guy,” he said quietly.
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing.”
He was still upset, and even though he was trying to make sure I had fun, I could tell he was miserable.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, as we sat down to eat a corn dog and share a can of soda.
“Nothing.”
“Kellan?”
He looked past me, sighed and said, “I guess I’m getting married.”
“Oh…I’m sorry.” He had no idea just how sorry I was, but I could see he was torturing himself. “Are you sure?”
“I bought a test for her on my way back to her house last night. She took it this morning. She said it was positive.” He closed his eyes and dropped his head onto his arms on the table.
“Is she sure? I mean, can’t the test be wrong?”
“It’s more likely it would be wrong if it said she wasn’t…pregnant.”
“Oh. But, you love her, right?” I asked, realizing he had never admitted his true feelings for her.
He didn’t answer me. He stood up and said, “Are you ready?
“You didn’t answer me,” I said.
“It’s time to go.”
Just then three girls came bounding over, “Kellan, how are you?” A tall brunette asked, putting her arms around him.
“I’m good, thanks,” he said, pulling the girls’ arms from around his neck.
The three girls chatted and flirted with him until he finally said, “We have to go. It was good seeing you all again.”
“This is your little sister, right?” the brunette asked, bending down and smiling at me.
“I’m not his sister. He’s my best friend!” I said, standing on the tip of my toes, trying to appear taller.
“That’s cute,” the girl said, smiling at Kellan.
“We have to go,” Kellan said, again.
He took my hand and led me in the opposite direction the girls headed.
“Who were they?” I asked, irritated at them.
“Girls I went to high school with. They’re really annoying,” he said, obviously irritated with them, as well.
“You should be used to it, girls are always making excuses to talk to you,” I said. “They were pretty, too. You used to talk to girls all the time.”
“Yeah, well, that was before I was engaged…and a father-to-be,” he said, and rolled his eyes.
“Why do you have to marry her?”
“Because I got her pregnant…that’s why. Rememb
er that when some guy tries to…and remember, he may not stand by you.”
“It’s not really an issue,” I said, knowing I was still that ugly, skinny, gangly girl.
“It will be. Trust me, you’re not done filling out yet, and when you do, you’re going to be a knockout! So, don’t let some guy talk you into anything!”
“Is that what you did? You talked her into…?”
“No, it was…mutual. But, it’s still my baby, so I have to stand by her.”
We were quiet on the ride back to Brianna’s house. We were invited to dinner with her and her family. The mood was still pretty quiet at the dinner table.
“Okay, what’s going on?” Mrs. Benson asked when she could no longer stand the silence.
Kellan looked over at Brianna and said, “I guess we should tell them.”
She glared at him, “There’s nothing to tell,” Brianna said, “We’re just having a disagreement.” She was evidently not ready to face the music.
Kellan said, “How long do you think you can hide it?”
“Kellan, we’re not having this discussion right now.” She was angry, and everyone at the table could see it.
“Fine.” Kellan went back to pushing food around on his plate.
“Okay then, Abby, tell us how you’ve been? How’s school? You’re a sophomore now, right?”
“Yes. And, it’s fine,” I said sadly, feeling bad for Kellan.
“I’m not getting much interaction from anyone tonight. I wish someone would tell me what’s going on?” She looked at me and I looked down at my plate, not wanting to get in the middle of Kellan and Brianna’s problem.
“I’ll bet you’re happy that Kellan’s home?”
“Yeah, of course. I missed him,” I smiled, and then realized something, and before I thought about it, I blurted out, “Since you’re getting married, does this mean you’re going to move back here?”
Kellan and Brianna both looked up at me. I covered my mouth with my hands and mumbled, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
“You told her?” Brianna snapped.
“She’s not stupid, she knew something was wrong,” Kellan said.
“You’re getting married?” Mr. Benson said, standing up at the head of the table.
Brianna looked down, refusing to say anything.
Kellan stood up and said, “Um, yeah, we’re getting married. We were going to tell you…”
Mr. Benson completely ignored Kellan and towered over his daughter, “Are you…pregnant?”
Brianna still refused to talk. Her mother spoke up and said, “Brianna?”
Still no response.
“Brianna, you told me you got your depo shot. You did, didn’t you? I paid for it,” her mother said.
“What do you mean…shot? She’s on the pill…” Kellan said and then stopped when Mr. Benson glared at him.
“You knew about this?” Mr. Benson snapped at his wife.
“Yeah, I took her to get the shot,” she said, then focused on her daughter who was still staring down at her plate, not uttering a word.
“Brianna!” her father shouted.
Brianna looked up at her father, “Oh, Daddy…I’m sorry,” she mumbled and then ran off to her room.
I looked over at Kellan and felt horrible. “Kellan, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…” my eyes were filling up with tears.
“It’s okay. We had to tell them, sometime.” He dropped his napkin in his plate and looked up at Mr. Benson and said, “I guess I should go talk to her…”
“I think you’ve done enough!” Mr. Benson snapped, irate.
“Jim, calm down,” Mrs. Benson said. She turned to Kellan and said, “I don’t understand, I mean, I took her to get the shot. She told me she got one in Connecticut last month. She said she didn’t want to take the pill…”
Kellan looked at her strangely and said, “She never said anything about a shot. I um, I guess I’ll go calm her down. Abby, I’ll be right back,” he said.
“How could you take her to get birth control? You know how I feel…”
“Would you rather she got pregnant? They’re living together, Jim. Think about it!” Mrs. Benson snapped.
“A lot of good it did…he knocked her up, anyway!” Mr. Benson shouted.
“On second thought, Abby, why don’t you come with me?” he said, not sure which was the lesser of two evils: his upcoming talk with Brianna, or her parents heated discussion.
“Brianna?” Kellan knocked on her door.
“Go away,” she sniffled.
“I think we should talk. May I come in, please?”
When she didn’t answer, he opened the door and we both walked in.
“I’m so sorry, Brianna. I didn’t mean to say that.” I felt so bad for all the trouble I had just caused, even though I hadn’t meant it.
“You ruined everything,” she said to me and turned away.
“Brianna, come on. They were going to find out eventually. Now, it’s out in the open. It’ll be okay.”
She buried her head under her pillow.
“Talk to me. What’s wrong? You weren’t this upset about it earlier. I told you I’d marry you.”
“Why?”
“Why, what?” Kellan asked.
“Why are you marrying me? Do you want to marry me?” she asked.
Kellan looked down and didn’t say anything for a minute. Finally, he said, “I thought you wanted to get married?”
“That’s not what I asked. Do you…love me?” she asked.
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“You don’t have to stay. You’re off the hook, you don’t have to marry me,” Brianna said, and turned away from him.
“You’re talking crazy. We already talked about this…we’re getting married.”
“No, we’re not.”
“I don’t understand…what did your mom mean about getting a shot?”
She refused to look at him.
“I’ll be right back,” he said, and walked into the bathroom.
I stood in the corner, not sure what to do. I stood there, looking at the beautiful, plush carpet and thought how the carpet in my room paled by comparison. I heard Kellan flush the toilet and wash his hands. He walked out of the bathroom with a box in his hand.
“You said you took the test I bought you?” he asked Brianna.
She finally sat up and faced him. “I told you, you’re off the hook.”
“I don’t understand,” he said, looking at the unopened box.
“I lied!” she said, sitting up now.
“You lied? What do you mean, you lied?” he asked, his breath quickened.
“I just…I didn’t want to lose you,” she said, looking down.
“So, you made up the whole thing? Why?”
“I just told you, I didn’t want to lose you. I know you’re not…happy, with me anymore.”
“So, you just tried to trick me into marrying you? How could you do that?” he asked, pacing the room now.
“I love you.”
“You have a funny way of showing it. How could you…? Come on Abby, we’re leaving!”
“Kellan! I’m sorry. I just couldn’t think of any other way to keep you. I’m…failing most of my classes. They’re kicking me out of school. I know you’re getting straight A’s, and I thought you’d fall for one of those smart girls that are always falling all over you.”
“I never cheated on you, Brianna. I came home to you every night.”
“But, you weren’t really with me, were you?” she asked, silent tears running down her cheeks.
“I don’t know what you want from me,” he said.
“I want you to tell me that you love me. I want you…to love me.”
“I don’t know what to say…”
She closed her eyes and said, “I guess there’s nothing left to say.”
“I’m sorry, Brianna. I wish I could tell you what you want to hear. I care for you…I do.”
“Just go! Please!
” She was openly crying now.
Kellan motioned for me to follow him downstairs. We were heading out the door but were stopped by Mr. Benson before we could make our escape.
“Where do you think you’re going? You get my daughter in trouble and then just run off…like nothing happened?”
“Daddy, he didn’t get me into trouble. I’m not pregnant,” Brianna said from the bottom of the stairs.
“What?” Mr. Benson asked.
“I’m not…pregnant. I…” she started to tell him she lied, but Kellan interrupted her.
“It was a false alarm. I have to get Abby home. I’ll see you later, Bree,” Kellan said, offering her a chance to save face.
She smiled weakly at him and said, “Yeah, okay. I’m sorry…for everything.”
We walked home in silence. The next day was Thanksgiving, and we had planned on having dinner with Brianna and her family, but suddenly that didn’t seem like the best plan. Nancy and Joe were off again, as usual. They weren’t due back until late Sunday evening after Kellan’s flight left.
Managing to avoid the topic foremost on our minds, Kellan said, “Do you think we can cook a turkey and all of the fixings if I go out and get the stuff?”
“We can just have turkey sandwiches or something. It’s no big deal.”
“It is a big deal. You’re always missing out on the important things. I hate that you live here…” he said, refusing to talk about Brianna.
“Kellan, I’m okay. Are you?” I asked.
“I’m…fine. I’m just…why the hell did she lie to me? It doesn’t make any sense. I never cheated on her…I was always…”
“Do you love her?” I asked, getting to the heart of the matter.
He sat down on one of the dining room chairs and sighed, “I care for her.”
“Kellan, do you love her?”
He sighed, “No, not really. I thought I would grow to love her in time. But, she’s been so…clingy. And now, I don’t know what to do. I just don’t understand why she would do this.”
“She told you why. She was afraid of losing you. She loves you, even if you don’t feel the same for her. She must have sensed it was over.”
“She has a funny way of showing it. I never gave her any reason to doubt me. I mean, I never cheated on her.”
“I believe you. But, how many girls were hanging around you? How many girls did you talk to? And, just because you didn’t cheat on her doesn’t mean you were really there for her, either.”
UN-RELATED (UN-RELATED SERIES) Page 6
