by Hunter Blain
“Hey!” I cried out defensively. “I never needed to know his first name. He introduced himself as Depweg, and that’s what I called him by. It’s not like we would chat for hours over the phone, asking each other how our day went with our fingers twirling the phone cord and feet kicking to and fro on the bed.”
Hayley stifled a laugh behind me and pretended to clear her throat.
“My point still stands validated. Besides, I am far older than you could possibly imagine, child.”
OOOH, oh, ohhhh, I was getting really sick of people calling me “child.” I let her know exactly how I felt about it by berating her in front of her peers and making her cry. I mean, I didn’t actually say anything, but she knew what was up.
Something nudged me, and I broke out of my trance to turn and see Hayley poking me with her wand (there’s a joke there somewhere) and motioning toward Elder Hecate.
“Huh?” I responded as I looked back at the Council.
“Your face went slack and eyes went empty for several seconds.”
“Eh, it happens,” I admitted, shrugging.
“I asked you why the demon lord, Asmodeus, has materialized on Midworld. One of his ilk and repute has not dared cross planes in a millennium.” There was an accusation in her words that made me clench my jaw for a moment.
“Look, let’s cut through the bullshit, shall we?” Everyone but Hecate straightened as heads pivoted to one another. That simple action told me all I needed to know about the leader of the elders. “We know the prophecy, yes? When the last vampire walks the Earth, the gates of Hell will open.” I crossed my arms and shifted my weight from leg to leg while tilting my head slightly. “The way I see it, you can’t do shit to me without paying the consequences. So, how about we find the chase and cut to it? Hmm?”
Taking my audacity in graceful strides, Elder Hecate stated, “Our intel suggested the warlock, Silver, was tasked with eliminating the werewolf, Depweg. Are you suggesting that you were the intended target?”
“Asmodeus wants me dead first because that’s what Lucifer wishes. Boss man doesn’t care about what his warlock servant wants, but seems to be placating him, I suppose. Silver is taking revenge for something Depweg did a long time ago, by accident, I might add. But, yes, I am the target after Depweg.”
“It’s as we feared,” Hecate said as she lowered her head and slightly shook it back and forth.
Something bugged me about all this. “Hey, aren’t you a warlock? I mean, how else did you train Locke?”
“I was a warlock, vampire, but I evolved into something greater once the time came to do so.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, letting my arms drop to my sides as I shifted to one foot.
“Once it became clear what Samael wanted, I decided it was best to part ways, as I could no longer serve a man who would destroy all of existence out of pride and spite toward his Father. I discovered what it meant to be a wizard and earn my abilities rather than be gifted by a man with ulterior motives. I gave up the life of a warlock and the immense powers therein and took my first step toward enlightenment. It was a long journey, but every destination worth its grit is challenging. Now I am a protector of this plane and all the souls contained within; including you, vampire.”
“Me?” I asked, my head rocking back slightly.
“Yes, you. The vampire, John Cook, has been an anomaly among the supernatural community.” Heads bobbed up and down in agreement around the room as voices murmured. From the corner of my eye, I saw Hayley simply cross her arms as she continued to watch me. “A monster that wants to protect the innocent. It is of no wonderment that the Lord of Hell would crave your eternal soul.”
“Yeah, I get that from time to time,” I joked as I made my pecs bounce up and down, looking off into the distance and giving a smoldering look by squinting my eyes and slightly parting my mouth.
“Are you having a stroke?” Elder Hecate asked.
“Aw, damn it! No, I’m not having a damn stroke. I’m sexy!”
Hayley barked out another chain of laughter that filled the otherwise silent room. Even Hecate grinned a fraction.
“We understand that you inject humor into uncomfortable situations. It is quite natural.”
“Your mom is natural,” I said under my breath as I looked down and kicked at a spot on the pristine marble floor. My boots did not smudge where my foot dragged. I was a little annoyed by that. Setting my jaw, already tired of the game, I looked up and asked, “What do you want, Hecate?”
“The supernatural community is in desperate times, indeed. Samael has removed countless of those under our rule from the board, which has left distorted gaps of power and control. The Lord of Lies lived up to his name and somehow convinced thousands of our kind to flee Midworld without the Council finding out until it was too late.”
“What does this have to do with me?” I asked, growing uncomfortable as the conversation unfolded.
“We need you to join us, John Cook. The warlocks of the world must be punished. Samael’s minions need to be eradicated from this plane.”
“Why me? Surely you guys can handle them on your own.”
“Our numbers have dwindled, and we need the remaining members of the Council to help keep the rift between dimensions closed.”
“Um, what was that last part?” I asked, cupping my ear as if to hear better. “Rift and dimensions?”
“There is so much more to the universe than you could possibly fathom, John. There are beings that even the King of Hell rightfully fears. In time, you will learn. For now, understand that the task of ridding Midworld of Samael’s army rests at your and your friends’ feet.”
“May I ask why it is of such great importance? I mean, if I die to one of these asshats, then…game over. Know what I mean?”
“We have it on great authority that if you do not stop them, then you will surely die along with all the life that has ever existed. If the gates of Hell are to open, John, we will need every advantage afforded to us. Would you not agree?”
A darkness swirled in my guts, like an alligator resting on the banks of a river suddenly turning around and slithering into the depths.
I gulped in answer to her question.
“Warden Broadway will accompany you.”
“What?” Hayley asked, taking a step forward as her eyes searched the council for signs of a joke that she wasn’t in on.
“Teach him what it means to be a warden. To judge those worthy of our attention and see that justice is served accordingly.”
“Heh, does that mean I’m a warden?”
“Though you are working with the council, we do not grant you the rank of warden.”
“Did you just freakin’ quote Star Wars at me?! Cause that shit didn’t turn out too good for Anakin. That’s all I’m gonna say,” I threw out while lifting my hands and turning away to face my new partner. The Elders ignored my outburst.
Hayley dropped her hands and turned to me with a look of exasperation.
“Hey, partner. Heh, we’re a buddy cop thing now.”
“Merlin help me,” she exhaled while shaking her head.
“There is no Merlin, only John.” Hayley slowly lifted her gaze to me. “Yo-you know. Like in Ghostbusters? Great movie.”
Hayley pivoted to look at the Council again, desperately seeking the joke that must be there. Had she forgotten someone’s birthday? Maybe she had hit Reply All on an email chain. No, I got it. She hit Reply All telling people to stop hitting Reply All on the email chain. Irony at its finest.
A quick, friendly jab to her arm forced her to glare daggers at me.
“Come on, partner. We got some warlocks to kill.” As I finished, I clasped my hands together and pretended to hold up a gun using my index fingers as the barrel.
Realization stuck its ugly head in my mind and I said, “Oh. But first, I need to kill Asmodeus and Silver. Probably need to go down to Hell at some point too, bee-tee-dubs.”
“Bee, tee…”
“By the way. You know, the abbreviation that cool kids use in texts. B-T-W.”
“I quit. That’s it. I have enough in savings. You can do it, Hayley. You can buy that boat and just sail the world,” she whispered to herself while closing her eyes and clenching her fists.
“Unlesssss there’s no world left. Amirite? Yeah. Yeah, I’m right.” I gave her my most award-winning smile. “So, how about sending me home so I can kill that big nasty demon bad guy? Oh, wanna come? We could use your help.”
“Warden Broadway, please return to us for debriefing once you see the vampire safely home.”
“Maybe next time,” I said.
“Yes, John, when the next demon lord is summoned from Hell, count me in. I’ll be holding my breath.” I saw the whites of her eyes; she was so efficient at rolling them. “I’ll be in touch.”
“Wait!” She paused mid-action with her hand resting on her wand.“ Are you single? Aaaaand, are you into werewolves by any chance? ’Cause I know the sweetest hunk of a were you might be interested in. Biceps out to here.” As I spoke, I waved my hand in a huge arc around my arm to showcase an impressive arm thickness. “Dude’s got boobies bigger than most chicks. Of muscle, I mean,” I quickly added.
“That’s enough,” Hayley said, rolling her eyes again as she mumbled something under her breath and touched her wand to my chest.
The world went black for a split second before I was standing where Hayley had first yanked me from the sky.
“Eh, I tried, Deppyweg,” I said to the empty air. “Honestly, I might as well get you neutered. Not like you need your nads with how bad you are at getting a date.”
Manifesting my wings, I shot into the sky while putting on a movie announcer voice. “One vampire. One wizard. One goal. Can this unlikely team put aside their differences and take out all the warlocks in the entire world? Will Depweg the Werewolf finally get laid and win John the “Wingman of the Year” award? Find out this summer in, Vampire Warden. Rated R.”
My wide, toothy smile began to fade as I closed the distance to the meeting point. No amount of humor could alleviate the coming battle with the most powerful warlock in existence. Oh yeah, and his pet demon lord that was the size of the freaking Statue of Liberty.
The closer I flew, the harder it was to will my wings to flap, as if by slowing down I could prolong the inevitable.
Fate could not be stopped. Destiny would come. Decisions would be made and consequences would rain down in a blanket of unforgiving equality, punishing both good and bad intentions. Murphy’s Law would continue to be unavoidable, indifferent to the hopes and wishes of those around you.
If the actions of the Council told me anything, it was that the gates of Hell would open. Better to prepare accordingly rather than simply hope—real hard—that it didn’t happen.
18
I flew to the rendezvous point in the middle of an empty parking complex and saw Locke and Depweg get into position. Landing, I walked up to them and asked, “We ready?”
“Ready,” they said together. We were standing on the topmost floor, with five floors of parking spaces underneath. Ludvig and Magni were across the street at another smaller complex, somewhere near the top floor. I had to squint to see them shrouded in the darkness. Looking up and down their complex I noticed their floor was the only one without lights, and I deduced they had somehow taken care of the illumination. It made sense to do so, except that having only one layer bathed in darkness was noticeable. Then again, I was probably overthinking things. I did have to first know where the hunters were, squint to find them, and only then had I noticed the oddity.
“Nervous?” Depweg asked.
“I’d be lying if I said no,” I responded while peeling my eyes off the parking structure to land on my friend. He had a real pair of silver-and-iron handcuffs on, courtesy of our first battle with Locke, though they weren’t actually fastened shut.
“Hey,” I asked while glancing at Locke and pointing at the handcuffs, “didn’t you say you got those from Father Thomes when you, ya know, were a huge asshole and tried to kill us?”
Locke shifted uncomfortably where he stood while looking away from me, unable to keep eye contact. “Yes,” he answered simply.
“How did you get them? I mean, Papa T was unharmed and didn’t even know they were missing. Or at least he didn’t mention it.”
Depweg spoke up, “You mean when he had you held in your cell?”
“Yeah. I mean, he didn’t need the handcuffs. He had me locked up pretty good, if not for my super buff brain.” Turning back to Locke, I asked, “So how did you get them?”
Locke thought for a moment, as if carefully choosing his words, and said, “I got word that he was having them made by a specialist. See, back then, I had all sorts of connections sprinkled all over the region. Not much happened without my approval. When I found out that a few sets of handcuffs were being made with blessed metals, I…well…”
“I get it. You had to have them. Makes sense, I guess. How else would you get a blessed set?” I relived the time when I was being held prisoner and escaped. “Hey, wait a sec. They couldn’t have been blessed. I had his chains touch my skin when in my cell and that shit made my skin start to turn necrotic. The cuffs didn’t. What’s up with that?”
“Well,” Locke began as he thought, “the first thought that springs to mind is that there are several differing enchantments of varying degrees. I mean, it’s not ‘one size blesses all,’” he said with air quotes.
“Fair enough. Still, why didn’t he mention it?”
“When I first heard of them, I was told that apparently they had been there for a while. Maybe he just forgot?”
“Or hoped he would never need them,” Depweg said without judgment, though it still stung.
“That sounds more like him,” I admitted. “He let them drop to the bottom of his priority list because I had been a good boy for what, thirty years?”
As I let my gaze fall back on the handcuffs, something irked me. “You kept them, Locke? The cuffs, I mean. And you didn’t mention having them? What? Were you planning on using them on us at some point?”
“I—” Locke began, unable to find the words.
Depweg interjected. “I kept them, John. After you went off to sleep, I grabbed what was left of your beanie to give to Da before scavenging the site for anything else I could find. Didn’t think it was worth mentioning.” His eyes dared me to question his answer or seek ulterior motives.
“Ah. Alrighty then,” I relented, trusting my best friend completely. Feeling the awkward silence as Locke looked back and forth between us, I changed the subject. “What’s the plan again?” Even though I already knew the details, I just wanted us to talk about something different.
Locke spoke, “Silver homes in on Depweg by following Asmodeus, and I tell him that I captured the beast and offer the were up to the Grand Master Warlock.”
“Right,” I confirmed, feeling a little uneasy as Locke said the words aloud. The idea had originally been Ludvig’s, but to hear it spoken by the warlock, Locke, made me uneasy.
“What?” Locke asked, sensing something was wrong.
“Hmm? Oh, nothing. Just going over my part in my head.”
“Which is?” Locke asked, drawing out the last word in a way that telegraphed he was asking for confirmation.
I pulled the cold-iron katana out of the sheath on my back and held it up appraisingly before saying, “Cut off his fucking head.”
“How barbaric,” Locke chided.
“Worked for you,” I said, a little more coldly than anticipated.
Locke closed his eyes and slightly turned his face away from me as if I had physically struck him.
“Locke, I—”
A whistle came from the darkness of the structure across the way from us, signaling it was time. All three of us scanned the horizon, looking for the massive demon lord.
Green-and-purple lightning cracked in the clouds that had condensed in the f
ew moments Locke, Depweg, and I had spoken. I hadn’t noticed them building on one another until that moment. With each violent flash, I could see the outline of an imposing figure that blotted out the horizon. I could almost hear the skin of my companions’ eyes stretch in awe as we gawked at the sheer size of the monster.
“Remember the plan,” I whispered before I audibly gulped and then ran to get into position. I threw open the door that lead to the stairs of the parking garage and made my way down one flight. I came out on the floor underneath Locke and Depweg and ran to the far edge opposite where my friends were above, crouching just behind a four-foot-thick concrete pillar. I wasn’t worried about the warlock using divination as my pendants protected me. I was curious, however, how Ludvig and Magni managed to stay off his radar.
I peeked around the edge and nearly fell backward on my ass, as the enormous demon lord had closed the distance and was only a few hundred yards away now.
Another crack of dramatic lightning and I saw Silver, mounted on his flaming steed while his battle robes waved in the air. I moved back behind the pillar, lest I give away my position and the awaiting trap. My pendants did nothing to protect against the simple act of looking with physical eyeballs.
I let my predatory senses take control and looked through the stone at the opposite end of where I was to see the faint red outlines of my friends. At this point in my unlife, I was able to see through most stone walls with enough ease as to even make out what kind of hairstyle the person I was watching wore, but this was a parking structure made to hold several tons of metal and, as such, was thicker than a 1980s Arnold’s biceps. I was fortunate to see even the weakest of silhouettes right now.
“Grand Master Warlock,” I heard Locke’s voice cry out with gravitas. “I have secured the werewolf for you, as requested.”
“As requested?” I mouthed to myself as I peeked back around. My vampiric gaze dropped to the other park, where my searching eyes locked onto Ludvig’s, who also had a look of confusion. I lifted my head to peer around the edge and regard Silver as I thought to myself, You better not fuck us over, Locke.
